23rd➳

Another school day, ugh. I wondered when holidays would come. Holidays always seemed to far away and whenever holidays does come, school always haunt us at the back of our head and always came faster than a bullet train. It was seriously really annoying to have school. After all, most of the subjects we might not need in the future. It's not like we go out in public and randomly calculate the angle of a triangle. Who does that?

Joshua acted like he usually would but sometimes I was unsure whether or not it was okay for him, since I didn't hear the whole story. I wanted to, but I didn't want to push Joshua to telling me something when he tried so hard to keep it minimal. I think he was doing it for my own good. For my safety and my sanity. 

Joshua passed me a note once again in the middle of a boring lecture. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and be attentive but my eyes were threatening to close at any second. When I saw the note, I opened it when the teacher wasn't looking to read it. 

Just don't mind my noona, okay? You're acting all aloof these days, Kwon Nari. Just pretend that never happened and let's continue as we are. She shouldn't be a bother because this is my life, not hers. 

P.s, I love you :) 

That last sentence caught me off-guard and made my cheeks blush, but luckily, the teacher was doing a presentation lecture so all the lights in the classroom were off. It was a good thing it was, or Joshua would be able to see the red on my cheeks. 

But how could I pretend that the scene never happened when it has been haunting me for these past few days? Knowing Jiae—but not to a very close extent—I knew she was those type of rich girls from every Korean drama. Since this was reality and there was a girl like that, it was even scarier. Who knew what she was capable of? 

Joshua took back the paper and wrote something on it before passing it back to me. 

I told you not to worry about my noona. Why do you not listen to me, Nari? :( 

I grabbed a pen and replied back to him.

because... because i'm scared of what she would do. don't you know, jisoo? she's your noona. she's rich. she has power. to her, i'm like a dirty piece of bubblegum stuck to the bottom of her shoe. she could dispose of me anytime. she can do that. she could even murder me and make it look like i attempted to commit suicide. 

After Joshua read what I wrote, his face expression became cynical as he shook his head, protesting to my words. He wrote something on the piece of paper before he passed it back to me. 

As long as I'm here, I won't let my noona lay a finger on a single strand of your hair, Kwon Nari. Trust me. I will be here. I'm always here for you. Okay? 

I wanted to believe in his words to the fullest but I didn't think it was that easy. Jiae was, after all, Jisoo's older sister, which meant she had more authority over him than Joshua had over her. I don't think a few words would stop his noona from doing her worst to me. 

I didn't know what else to write on the piece of paper so I folded it in half before I folded it into another half and stuffing it into my backpack. My eyes went back to threatening to close and eventually, I gave in and rested my head on the table and dozed off. 

♥

When the lunch bell rang, Joshua lightly shook me to wake me up. My eyes snapped open but I was still in a deep, sleepy daze. Joshua asked me if I wanted to grab some lunch but I shook my head, saying I wasn't in the mood. 

"What? Kwon Nari not in the mood to eat? That's rare," Joshua teased with his cat-like smile. "Are you sure, Nari? I could grab you something if you want me to. A sandwich? Your favourite yogurt drink? The banana flavoured one?"

"Well, if you insist so much on getting me a banana flavoured drink, go get me one then," I said to him with a lazy smile before feeling like I wanted to sleep again. 

Joshua patted me on the head, gave me a sweet smile before he walked out of the classroom, leaving me alone in the confined space that students hated. I wanted to fall back asleep but the feeling passed. All I was left to do was think of all the irrelevant but bothering thoughts. I tried to push them away, but they're like the homework you forgot to do; they won't stop bothering you until you at least go through them. 

So that was what I did. I tried to think of solutions but the more I figured out my situation, the more my lips pulled down and turned into a frown that deepened every ticking second. It was docile in the classroom with no sounds to interrupt my thoughts and no presences to burden me. Or so I thought. 

The door opened and I didn't crane my neck to see who entered since I had my guest on who it was. I waited for my banana milk but realized that I didn't receive it at all. Then my mind began to wonder who just entered the classroom. After all, there were probably thirty of us in this classroom. I wasn't too sure; I never bothered to keep track of my class and its stupid and unstoppable when it came to gossiping people. 

I still checked to see who came into the classroom and the moment I lifted my head up from the table, I was left in shock. He never stopped surprising me with all his out-of-no-where visits. 

"Woozi?" I asked, my mouth widening instead of my eyes. "What are you doing here?"

He shrugged in response and sat with a leg over the other, giving me a smile. "Dropping by to visit my friend? What does it look like I'm doing? Kidnapping you? Nah, I see you almost every time anyway. It's fun visiting you, though. It's also nice when it's just the both of us."

"Lee Woozi, you weirdo," I blurted out with a teasing smile. "You must miss me a lot everyday, huh? Why don't you just enroll in my school so you can see me more without thinking you're bothering anyone?"

"Well, one, school is horrible. Two, teachers are horrible. Three, students are horrible. Shall I go on with reasons why I don't want to enroll in school?" he asked me with a smile. 

I shook my head. I understood his point. Placing my arm on the table with my elbow touching it as I rested my head on my palm, I said to him, "You're lucky you don't always have to deal with annoying chattering students who don't know when to ever shut up. I wish I could drop out of school too and run around freely without any problems holding me back."

Woozi's smile slowly fell as he asked me with concern, "Is there a problem you're facing, Kwon Nari?"

"One too many to count, Lee Jihoon," I told him, shaking my head. "But you know me, I never let them bother me too much. You know my life, there will always be problems. But you also know who I am. You know I'll never let them change me."

Woozi's smile returned as he caressed the side of my head, catching me off-guard because I always thought Joshua would be the only guy to do this. "That's the Kwon Nari I know. Don't ever change your ways, okay? It's okay to grow up, but don't turn into those adults you hate so much."

I innocently smiled before yawning. 

"Aigoo, is Kwon Nari sleepy? Too bad, this isn't pre-school where you can get naps," Woozi told me. "And I think you had way too much sleep. You were sleeping the whole time, weren't you?"

"I can't help it. It's not my fault teachers only teach without trying to make it seem interesting. I know there are a few teachers that actually try to make studies and learning fun, but sadly, those teachers aren't teaching me. Maybe the school knew who I was and probably thought I would never be able to learn if I had those type of teachers so they assigned all the boring ones to my class," I said, rolling my eyes. "Idiots. They have the whole thing flipped around."

Woozi chuckled lightly and that was when I took the time to examine his clothes. They were simple; a t-shirt that fitted him and pants that were slightly above his ankles and a pair of worn out black sneakers. It made me wonder where he was living, where he slept. I wanted to ask but I backed out like a coward, afraid it would be a touchy and sensitive subject to him. 

Woozi looked out of the classroom's windows, the one of the other side of the classroom where you could see the hallways, before his attention went back to me. "Nari, can I ask you something? I'm hoping you'll answer truthfully too."

"Um... sure? What is it?"

"What am I to you?"

Five words. A question. An expression I couldn't decipher. The answer was easy; I always thought of him as my most precious friend but as I slowly tried to figure out what expression Jihoon held, I came to realize he was expecting something more than what I originally wanted to say. Though, I wasn't sure what I could say so instead of answering like I promised I would, I kept quiet. 

"Am I nothing to you?" Woozi concluded when I didn't answer his question. 

I frowned. "You know that's not true, Lee Jihoon. If that were true, why do you think I kept waiting for you return for the past decade? Why did you think I was so devastated when you left me again? I'm not good with emotions, I can be a little too immature by blurting things out from my mind and causing arguments that will lead even bigger problems but that doesn't mean I don't care. I do care about you, Lee Woozi. Even if you change your name, even if you somehow even change your face, I wouldn't care. You will always be my Lee Jihoon."

Woozi managed to give me a smile before he stood up and said, "I'll be going now, Kwon Nari. I'll see you around. I'm always there, just probably running to you or away. I'm always around because I can never stay in one place. You probably don't know where to find me, but I always know where to find you."

Just like that, Woozi exited the classroom through the back door and at the exact right time he left the classroom, Joshua entered with two banana yogurt milk in his hands and a plastic bag of chocolate bread. 

"Sorry it took so long, there was a long line in the canteen," Joshua told me, sitting back down next to me and handing me the banana yogurt milk. "You look more awake. Did you have a nightmare while I was gone?"

"If I did, I would have looked freaked out and paranoid. Nightmares always get to me and it stays in my mind for some time," I told him, shivering as I drank up from my banana milk. 

"Ah, so that's what happens when you get nightmares. Interesting. If you ever slept over at my house and you get nightmares, I'll know what to do," Joshua said with a smile before he nibbled his chocolate bread. 

"Why would I even sleep over at your house? You creep, what are you thinking?" I raised a suspicious eyebrow at him. 

"What are you thinking, Kwon Nari? Hmm?" Joshua grinned, like he had the upper hand in this little argument. 

"Nothing," I answered in a quiet voice, looking away as I continued chugging down my banana milk. 

Silence danced around the air after my last word and I wasn't sure anymore whether that was a good thing or not. All my life, I have gotten used to the silence that never left me but once Joshua came into my life, he coloured my life with words and everything else I was never used to before. Now that I was used to words, I sometimes found it weird how I used to cope with silence. 

A man can never survive alone, they say. All these times I was alone, I never took time to realize I still had people by my side, let it be just one or two people. You don't need a hundred to know you're loved. You probably just need one. One that will show you that you who have a fragile life don't need to end it too early. 

♥

I didn't go to work today. I disappeared from Joshua's sight when he wasn't looking and when he wanted to walk with me to the convenient store. I wanted to head somewhere because I felt like... like it has been forever. 

House of Hope. 

I stood in front of the orphanage that stood high and mighty in front of me. It looked decent and normal but you'll never really know what lies inside an orphanage house. Kids were probably mistreated, unloved and waiting for someone to adopt them with dying hope each day. All they ever really wanted was someone to love them. To replace the spaces that were left empty in their life. 

I knocked on the door, feeling my breath suddenly accelerating as I felt the nervousness kick in. A big man answered the door and asked, "What can I do for you, miss?"

"I'm here to see my cousins. Kwon Jaemin and Kwon Hoya? They were taken to this orphanage because apparently they're "misbehaved" and they don't have a guardian or parents to take care of them. I'm their cousin. I want to be their legal guardian. Please, let me see them?" I begged. 

He eyed me from head to toe before stepping away from blocking the entire door. "Come in. Have a seat in our living room. I will go and get them from their rooms."

I bowed at the man and thanked him for letting me see my cousins and took a seat in the living room. This place could easily be mistaken as a homey prison instead of an orphanage. No kids ran around the house freely, there were barely sounds of children being heard. It came to me as odd because if I ever thought of orphanages, I always thought that it would be something happier and livelier. This orphanage wasn't doing a right job. 

Moments later, I saw Jaemin and Hoya walking in front of the big, scary man with a dead-like expression. It was as if they drained the life out of the two. Concerned, I stood up and asked, "Jaemin-a, Hoya-ya, are you guys okay?"

Their eyes shot up and they smiled. But that smile was nothing but hollow. It was as if they sucked all the emotions out of these two boys. 

"Noona..." they muttered before the big man pushed them down onto a couch nearest to them. 

I honestly thought that was straight out rude because you do not treat a human being like they were dogs. I kept those words in my mind, afraid I might earn myself a ticket way out of this orphanage. I wasn't sure if I was able to visit daily or weekly or even monthly, but I wanted to make sure I would be able to talk to them, in case this might be our last meeting. 

"How are you two doing these days?" I asked. 

Hoya smiled that hollow smile I hated seeing and replied in a monotone voice, "It's good."

Jaemin added, also in a monotone voice, "Great."

They sounded like robots and I hated it. I wanted to cry but avoided unnecessary waterworks and concentrated on trying to talk to the boys. "Noona wants to visit more. Heck, I want to take care of you! Is there any way I could make that possible?"

I saw, even if it was for a quick second, a flicker of sadness in Jaemin's eyes. Both boys didn't say a word, instead, they stared at the floor like mindless zombies. What has this orphanage done to them? What did they do to have my cheerful and energetic cousins turn into... into robots! 

"N-noona..." Hoya's voice broke mid-way and finally, I heard emotions from him, but it triggered the big man because he forcefully pulled the both of them up and slowly took them away. 

Alarmed, I stood up and followed them. "Yah! You can't do that to human beings! Are you even human?! Let go of them, you big smelly jerk! They're my cousins, you can't treat them like they're animals! You adults are dumb heads! Even if you graduated from university with a degree or something, that doesn't change the fact you're all idiots!" 

I was about to follow the big man up to the second floor of the house but two other men blocked the entire path leading to the stairs. I heard Hoya screamed for a quick second and his piercing scream was enough to let the tears roll down my eyes as I glared at the two other men in front of me. 

"Whatever you're doing in this orphanage, know that you're doing it all wrong. How would you feel if you were treated that way? Oh, you probably wouldn't know because you were probably silver spoon fed ever since you were kids! Who cares if you had caring parents? Some people out there don't, and you're treating them this way? You're all monsters," I said with a growl. 

"Miss, I think it's time for you to leave," another voice said.

I looked to my left, where there was a doorway leading to a narrow and short hallway and saw a shadow emerge out of the dark and into the light. My eyes looked at his face and immediately, I recognized who he was. It was the man from before. The one I saw with Jaemin and Hoya one day with Joshua.

I let out a scoff before crossing my arms over my chest. "Look who it is. Mr. Dumb Butt. What have you been doing to my cousins?"

"I need you to leave—"

"Why? So you can continue with your evil and probably illegal scenes? Not a chance." 

"I'll have you warned. I have five buff men that could easily carry a small girl like you. That would be no problem for them," he told me.

"I could call the cops and have this place investigated, of course, since I have told you this now, you'll probably clear everything from the orphanage and put on an innocent act so I should just do something else. I'll have you warned, I have connections." I guess, for once, having Joshua as a friend and a boyfriend could come handy once in a while. 

"Don't push your luck, kid. Your imagination and ego is bigger than you, that's horrible."

I sarcastically laughed. "Was that supposed to be some kind of burn? A savage? Well let me tell you that whatever you were trying to do a moment ago? It was nothing close to it. Now give up your act and give me back my cousins. I know you perfectly know that they're not trouble makers. Who paid you to do this? Your boss? Someone with connections? Isn't that what life is like now? Rich people get everything and leave the poor people struggling every damn day."

Mr. Dumb Butt didn't say anything in response but only signaled his men to take me away. I threatened to bite their arms but it was too hairy and I didn't want my mouth to be contaminated with dirty hair of theirs. I didn't try to fight back but once they threw me out, I stuck my tongue out at them and hissed. 

I will get authority over my cousins, just watch me all you stupid adults who told every kid that everything only lies in their imagination. 

Jiae 

"She what?" Jiae hissed to the other line. "What was she doing there?"

"She wanted to see her cousins, miss," the other voice answered. 

"Then?" 

"We threw her out."

Jiae laughed and smirked. "Good. Make sure Kwon Nari never meets them again. They're her only happiness, I heard? Her only family left. They don't have parents, boo hoo. Keep them away from her as much as possible. Make sure she doesn't come and visit them anymore, don't let her see them. Do whatever you can."

"Yes, miss."

"That's all for now." Jiae hung up and hissed. "Kwon Nari. Didn't I tell you already? You don't deserve love from anyone. Your cousins are someone you love and they love you, right? Well you don't deserve them too. It's funny how I was able to take away them before even fully knowing you. I just thought they meant something to Nari's mom. What a surprise to know they meant something to Nari instead. Jiae, you're a genius, aren't you?"

Jiae gave herself a pat on the back and smiled before she picked up her Gucci bag and left her room to attend a fashion show in Busan. 

~Author's Notes~

Schools are starting in three days, nooo! Then I'll have exams two days after school reopens and well, updates will obviously be stopped. I'm also going on a hiatus because of the whole hacker on the loose thing and I don't want to risk anything so I will be offline for some time. I won't be checking my Wattpad for a while (i wonder if i'll be able to survive hohooo) and yeah. I decided to just go on hiatus on the second day my school reopens so I could concentrate on my studies more and I'll return probably on 21/7 or 22/7 :((((( 

Hopefully I'll be able to finish this story or the publish date of my surprise story will be post ponded to probably mid-August. Or who knows when :( I'll miss you Kimichies, haha :) 

Anyway, that's all for this update. See you guys! Thanks for all the love you're giving this book :) <3

Kyungie loves you all! <333

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung