10th➳

"So you lost," Joshua mocked with a sweet smile. I hated that smile right about now. "Time to grant me a wish, Nari."

I grunted and avoided looking at him. "What is your wish, Hong Jisoo?"

"There's this masquerade party my dad is throwing and I don't have a date to the party. It's compulsory, you see. If I don't get someone, my dad will get some random CEO's daughter. I don't want that. So... come with me to the party?" he asked, almost pleading me to go.

"I don't think I can, Jisoo. I don't have a dress," I explained in a quiet voice. 

I've never bought a fancy dress ever I hit puberty. And I doubt Mom would suddenly change her life and buy me one. I would borrow one of hers but then, they all smell like alcohol.

"Really? Then, come on! It's time to take you dress shopping!" Joshua said excitedly as he grabbed my arm and brought me to a nearby dress store.

"This is too surreal," I mumbled, trying to keep my head down as much as possible.

"I'll buy you the dress as a thank you gift for being my date for tonight," Joshua said, looking around the store. He walked ahead but I could still hear him say, "Imo! What's the nicest dress here? Can you give my friend try it on?"

The next minute, I found myself being squeezed into different dresses. There were many that I didn't like but the next dress I tried on, it was as if I heard Peter Pan's call.

It was a light green pure ballgown with a few rose petals on the bottom. The top of it was a glimmering sweetheart neckline in a lighter green. It was just... the one.

"Woah, Nari. You look..."

"Like grass?" I offered, stepping out of the dressing room.

"No. You look... beautiful," he finally said, his mouth hanging open. He was in awe by the dress.

"It's just the dress," I said, turning around for him to see the whole dress. Front and back. "I'm never the pretty one."

"Don't lie to yourself, Nari. You're beautiful. It's not just the face that makes beauty. It's your heart. Never forget that, okay?" Joshua told me when he was standing right in front of me. "You still look a princess." 

"Yeah," I breathed, "thanks. I should probably take this off now, right?"

"That's the dress you want?" he asked me before I went inside the dressing room.

With a sure smile, I replied, "Yes."

♥

When we finally exited the store after purchasing the dress, we got hungry and headed into a pork belly restaurant. It was packed with people enjoying the food and luckily, there was on last table that was left unoccupied.

We took a seat and immediately an ahjumma came by to take our order. We decided to just order four servings of samgyeopsal, two bowls of ramen as well as lunch boxes and the ahjumma walked into the kitchen to get the food ready.

"So... why did your dad host this party again?" 

I wasn't quite sure what that party was for. I guess it was a rich people's thing. Hosting parties that last til the night deepens. This might be the first time I'll enjoy such pleasure. Though, I didn't really feel like I belonged there in the first place. 

"It's to celebrate his new joint companies with the other CEOs and their companies," Joshua explained as he played with the spoon set on the table. "So he's hosting a masquerade party. Honestly, I really hate these things. At least it'll be enjoyable since you're coming with me."

I smiled at him. "Yeah, I guess. Where is it?"

"I'll just pick you up at your apartment," he offered.

In an instant, I yelled, "No!"

Joshua looked at me weirdly.

Clearing my throat, I said in a calmer voice, "I mean... no. I'll just... wait at the convenient store."

I didn't want Joshua to come to my apartment and see what life I'm living in. He knows too much. More than the others. But that doesn't mean I was willing to show him more than what he knows. I didn't want any pity from him. Not ever since the dad incident at the convenient store.

"Uh, okay? I'll make sure Sunggyu stays there and protects you while I come pick you up. Is that okay?" Joshua asked as the food finally arrived.

I nodded. My stomach grumbled when the food was being grilled on the grill pan. The more it cooked, the more my mouth watered.

I heard Joshua chuckle and said, "Uri Nari is hungry, isn't she?"

I snapped my head at his direction. "What? It's not like you're not hungry. I can see it in your face, Hong Jisoo. You're drooling just as much as I am."

Joshua grinned at me. Like he caught on something from me. "Well, our little Nari is just as hungry as I am. Want me to feed you?"

"Are you kidding me? I'm not a kid, Jisoo," I told him. Then in a mutter, I said, "Even though I act like one."

"Come on," Joshua insisted with aegyo. That was literally a first from him. He never does aegyo. "It's just as friends. I won't keep treating you as a kid forever, you know? You're also 17, if you have forgotten."

"Yeah, whatever," I mumbled, tapping my fingers against the table. After it finally cooked, I used my chopsticks and ate some.

"Ah~" a voice then say. I looked at Joshua's direction and saw that he was holding up a wrap in front of me.

Confused, I asked him, "What are you doing?"

Joshua shrugged and smiled. "Giving you a wrap?"

"Why?" No one has ever fed me a wrap before, so this was all foreign right now.

"I said I'd feed you, remember?" Joshua reminded me, slightly shaking the wrap in front of me. "Come on, Nari. Eat up. Don't you want it?"

I was hesitant but in the end, I took a bite out of it. It tasted great. Even greater since Joshua fed it to me. "Komawo, Jisoo."

"No problem," Joshua assured with a grin. "Lunch is enjoyable now since I'm eating with you."

I laughed a sarcastic laugh. "Keep your cheesy words to yourself, Jisoo. What are you trying to get with them, hmm?"

"To see if you're being swayed by me." Joshua winked.

It sent chills down my spine. "Please don't do that."

"Wae? Are you swayed by me now?"

I swayed myself left and right. "I am being swayed. See? Weee."

Joshua burst out laughing and he looked like he was going to choke on his food anytime soon. He'd better stop before he ends up choking to death and I might have to save him when I had no clue on how to.

"Keman, Jisoo," I said, trying not to overreact the situation. "You might choke on your food."

Joshua finally stopped a moment later. But he had that annoying smirk on his face. "Aww, you do care about me."

"What?" I was flustered. Shaking my head, I told him, "You might end up choking, Jisoo. I have no idea how to help a choking person. So you better stop it before I become a suspect of your almost death."

"That was direct and to the point but still sweet," Joshua said, grinning. "See, Nari? You care about me just as much as I care about you."

"Mwo? Museunsuriyah? (What are you talking about?) You're being delusional, Jisoo," I said.

"You can keep denying it but I know you care, Nari-a."

"Whatever," I answered, rolling my eyes. 

For the next hour and thirty minutes, Joshua and I ate and joked around, trying to out joke each other. Next thing I knew it, time was already up and I was riding the bus home, if I ever wanted to get ready for the ball Joshua was talking about before. 

Clutching the shopping bag that had my newly bought dress, courtesy of Joshua, I took in a deep breath. I've never been to some fancy ball before so thinking about it now was nerve wrecking. 

What would I do there? There would be so many mature and sophisticated people and then there would be me. I had to do my best to act at least my age, but I found it hard to do so. Imagining myself acting like how I'm supposed to act sounded absurd. 

But the rest is yet to come and I'd just anticipate it... or maybe I won't. 

♥

With Mom knocked out from bottles of sojus once again, I took the opportunity to slip into the dress Joshua had bought for me when we were out today. I zipped the whole thing by myself and felt proud. 

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and thought of how plain I looked like. Then again, I wasn't sure how to apply makeup with the exception of lipstick so I just applied lipstick and tied my hair into a low side bun. 

Staring at my reflection once again, I decided I looked decent enough. I was about to slip into Mom's heels but remember the last time I wore those killer shoes. It didn't end up really nice. In fact, I got a souvenir from it. A pretty, huge scar on my knee. 

It took weeks to heal and so I decided I wouldn't be going to a party with heels. Instead, I settled with simple beige flats that miraculously matched the dress I wore. With that, I was good to go. 

The walk to the convenient store seemed longer today and each step, I could feel my feet burning up. I was definitely not used to walking a long distance with tight flats on. If it were rubber shoes, it would have been better. 

Once I arrived at the convenient store, I pushed the door open and saw Sunggyu lying on the counter table, asleep. Tiptoeing to where he was sleeping, I nudged his head with my two fingers to try to wake him up from his slumber. 

"Sunggyu? Sunggyu-sshi. Ireonasaeyo (wake up please)," I said, continuously nudging his head with my fingers. 

When he made a few sudden movements, I backed away from him. He slowly lifted his head and I couldn't tell if he was awake or still asleep. 

"Sunggyu-sshi?" I called once again, unsure with whether he was awake or not. "Are you awake now?"

I did see a few eye movements, but they were almost invisible. He let out a yawn and asked, "Nari? What are you doing here?"

"Um, well..." 

"Oh, wait." Sunggyu stopped me and brushed his hair to the side. "Jisoo told me about a party or something. You're going to that, aren't you? Wah, he could have took me. I heard there are lots of delicious food there."

"Are they free?" I know I sounded like some beggar by now and the question itself was shameless. But how long has it been since I last ate something delicious? Counting out the time I actually ate normal food with Joshua today, it's been quite a long time. 

Sunggyu was surprised with my question, which explained the raising of eyebrows. He yawned again and nodded. "Of course. Everything's provided by Jisoo's dad. They're freaking rich! I'm now jealous of you, Kwon Nari."

I just smiled in return. 

He examined my dress and tilted his head to the side. "I bet I would have looked better in that dress."

"Nae?" 

Sunggyu looked up and met my eyes and gave me a teasing grin. "Jisoo said he needed a date to go to the party. He should have asked me. I'd be willing to dress up as a girl if it meant I'd get delicious food for free. It's too bad I'm a guy, huh?"

"Like... cross dressing?" My mouth hung wide open but was amazed at Sunggyu's determination. "You'd do that?"

"Rich people provide only the best food. So you better enjoy the night, Kwon Nari. I'm sure it'll be worth it," Sunggyu told me, sending me a warm smile. Looking past my shoulder, he clacked his tongue. "Guess who's here."

As I turned around to see what Sunggyu was on about, I was suddenly captivated by the looks of Joshua Hong Jisoo in a black suit and neatly gelled hair. He looked so neat and nice I almost couldn't take my eyes away from him. He looked like every girl's dream man. 

Once Joshua was inside the convenient store, he flashed a smile at my direction. "Kwon Nari, you look beautiful."

"You too," I replied without a second thought. Thinking about how stupid that was, I lightly knocked the side of my head. 

"I'm beautiful?" Joshua didn't even try to hold back the teasing grin on his face. 

Well, for one, he was really handsome today. But it was too hefty to escape my mouth so I ended up nodding and looking elsewhere. 

"Wah, look at you two. It's as if you're going to get married tonight," Sunngyu observed, leaning against the counter as he watched us. "And here I am, still working. What is this?"

"Don't be sad, Sunggyu hyung. You know I'll never forget you. I won't forget to send you some of your favourite brownies," Joshua told him. 

Sunggyu gave him a smile in return. "You know I like you right, Hong Jisoo? You're like my fairy godmother. Except Nari here is stealing my chance at the ball and I continue working."

To be suddenly put in the spotlight, I became flustered and felt my cheeks slowly burning up. "W-what?"

Joshua laughed and pulled me closer to him. "Hyung, I don't even need to dance once to know she's the one."

Pushing Joshua away, I sent him a glare. "Yah, just because I like fairytales does not mean you can simply make me some princess!"

Joshua leaned closer in with his hands tucked in his pockets. "Aren't you one? My princess?"

Growling at him, I almost bit his nose because of how close he leaned in. "Ani, I'm Peter Pan's Lost Girl. I'm not some princess who depend on some prince to save her. Girls are stronger than you think they are. At least, some girls are."

Both Sunggyu and Joshua were looking at me with amused stares as a smile etched up their lips. Joshua was smiling more at me, though, and I avoided his eyes for the entire time. It made me uncomfortable. 

When no one was saying anything, I asked obliviously, "What?"

"I'll never get tired of you speaking as if you're Peter Pan himself." Joshua let a laugh escape his lips before his eyes settled back on me once again. "We better get going. The party's about to start."

"O-oh, really?" I had to fight the blush creeping onto my cheeks. If only I applied blush. It would have been less embarrassing by then. "Then let's get going."

"See you, hyung! I'll bring them tomorrow," Joshua told Sunggyu before we left the store. 

We stopped by the steps because of Joshua and he looked like he wanted to say something. 

"Is something wrong, Jisoo?" I worriedly asked him. "Please don't tell me this entire party thing is a prank. I really don't handle pranks well."

Joshua was chuckling by now. "It's not a prank, Nari. We're really going to my dad's party but there was something I wanted to ask. I forgot what it was though, so let's just go."

Catching a glimpse at Joshua, I saw a sheen of regret in his eyes but let it slide as I followed him into a black car parked by the sides of the streets. 

"This is really fancy," I mumbled, touching the leather seats of the car. It resembled to a limousine, but it was smaller. That didn't mean it was any less fancy, though. 

Joshua was staring at me almost as if he was mesmerized. He kept on smiling that when I turned to look at him, he immediately retreated his eyes and looked elsewhere.

After what felt like twenty minutes, the car drove into a huge area filled with so many huge mansions lined up next to each other, each with huge areas of land. The car kept driving until we reached the end of the road with a huge house on a hill with bright lights and loud music playing. 

This is where Joshua lives? 

I knew he was rich, but never knew he was this rich. Now I was afraid of being his friend. If Joshua finds out what kind of life I live like, would he look down on me and leave? This was why I was afraid on making friends. You'll never know if they're willing to stay until the end.

"We're here," Joshua informed me, nudging my shoulder. 

I nodded at him and opened the door, which disappointed Joshua. "What's with the long face, Jisoo?"

"I wanted to open it for you, like a princely gentleman," Joshua told me. 

"Well, too bad." I grinned and stuck my tongue out as looked at the huge mansion before me and felt myself catching breaths. 

Even if Joshua's side was closer to the mansion, he still made sure to stand next to me and held my hand, to which I flinched away. 

He frowned. "Don't you feel scared?"

I clasped my hands together and looked away. "I'm really nervous about this. I don't blend well with sophisticated adults."

"Just stay by my side and you'll be fine. It depends if you're willing to stay with me until the end, though," Joshua said. 

I could sense Joshua wanting to reach and hold my hand so I purposely crossed my arms over my chest and walked closer to the mansion but stopped in my tracks once again when I saw people wandering around. 

"Yah, Kwon Nari, if you're not going to go in by yourself, at least wait for me." Joshua caught up to me and ruffled my hair ever so slightly, but careful not to ruin any strand of it. "Aigeu."

I froze in place and blinked continuously at the floor. I hated it when Joshua made me feel uncomfortable like this. 

"Oh? What's up with you, Kwon Nari?" Joshua noticed the way I wasn't speaking or moving and immediately tried to meet my eyes. "Kwon Nari? Gwaenchana?"

"Huh? What?" I forced myself to act normally or Joshua might as well bring me to a hospital next. "I'm fine. Let's just go in."

Joshua smiled and found a chance to hold my hand and pulled me inside the very huge mansion that resembled a ballroom like the one from the movie Cinderella. 

"There's a lot of people here and you might get lost so just stick by my side, okay?" Joshua instructed, holding onto my hand tightly. "I don't want to lose you."

Loosening his grip on my hand slightly, I promised, "Don't worry, I won't wander around much. I don't want to get lost too. I might end up like some little girl searching for her mom in a supermarket."

Though I've never really experienced it normally, I knew what it felt like to be left behind without having someone search for you and worry so much knowing that you weren't there. I was almost abandoned that day. Almost. 

The tight squeeze from Joshua then snapped me back into this reality of rich people and their ways of living. He was bringing me to the table filled with food and refreshments and I've never seen so much food placed for free before in my life. 

"You must be hungry," Joshua said, picking up a cupcake from its display stand, "so here."

I did my best to look composed as I took the cupcake but I was me; there was no faking anything when it comes to me. So I snatched the cupcake happily from Joshua's grip and dug into the delicious treat. 

By now, I was jealous of the way Joshua lived such a comfortable life. I was jealous of the way he didn't have to bother about trying to survive and earn money by your own. He didn't have to handle all the words that were being thrown at him like an arrow coated with poison. 

At that moment, my excitement for eating the cupcake slowly faded. I could even feel my hand slowly drop. Why was my self-esteem dropping lower every second I was just standing here in this party?

I even looked up at Joshua, who didn't seem to notice the odd way I was acting because he was mingling with adults that looked very important. I put the cupcake back on the table and noticed how it stuck out among the perfect, untouched ones. 

Was that how I looked like? 

No. A girl like me isn't supposed to be swayed and troubled by these trivial thoughts. Shaking my head, I snapped myself out of that nightmare. 

I may not look attractive and may act like a child but no one has a right to judge me for that. They just had no idea what life I lived like to speak sorely about me. 

Too immersed with my own thoughts, I didn't realized I was squeezing the cupcake to its death, even if it wasn't alive in the first place. 

"Did the cupcake do something wrong for you to squeeze it that way?" Joshua jested once he was done talking to the important-looking people. 

"No," I answered, shaking my head. "Mianhae. I think the cupcake's dead now."

"Here, give it to me. I'll help you dispose of it," Joshua told me, extending his palm out to me. 

Giving him a smile, I handed it to him and he gave me a tissue afterwards. He disappeared for a moment before coming back shortly. 

"Jisoo! There you are! I thought you were going to stay in your room all night."

A voice then interrupted the jokes Joshua and I were making. Following where that voice was coming from, I noticed a lady walking closer to where we stood. But she wasn't just any lady. She was Joshua's older sister. 

"Noona!" Joshua greeted, flabbergasted at her sudden appearance. We both know pretty well that she's still the same girl who forced my mom to court. 

His sister noticed me standing there and asked Joshua, "Who's this girl?"

"She's a friend of mine," Joshua discreetly answered. "In fact, she's my date tonight! So no staying locked up in my room tonight, noona."

His sister eyed me from top to bottom before giving me a smile. "Hi, I'm Hong Jiae, Jisoo's older sister. Nice to meet you. What's your name?" 

I sent a side-way glance at Joshua before my lips parted and answered, "Jung Eun Ji. My name's Jung Eun Ji."

I had to lie. It was the only way I could think of. Imagine if she found out I was the daughter of the lady who harassed her because she was drunk. She would have kicked me out from this party in a snap. Sometimes I wondered why I still lived with my mom. 

"Jung Eun Ji?" she asked back with a warm smile of hers. "How did the two of you meet?"

"Noona! Don't interview her!" Joshua whined, displeased with his sisters actions. 

His sister let out a hearty laugh as she told me, "He's a little overprotective over you, I see. That's sweet of him."

Without knowing what else I could have replied, I gave her a smile. 

Jiae was grinning like a kid by now as she teased her little brother, "I like her, Jisoo. Make sure you keep her, okay?"

To hear those words come out from the same woman who treated my mom that way left me speechless. She's probably acting this way because she obviously didn't know who I really am. 

Though sometimes I wonder who I really am. 

Joshua was left speechless as well and Jiae only decided to leave the two of us like that. 

When I caught a glance at Joshua, I noticed his ears burning red. I couldn't help but let out a laugh. 

Joshua snapped his head at my direction. "What?"

Trying my best not to overdo my laughter, I smiled and blinked obliviously at him. "What?"

"You're laughing," Joshua pointed out. "Why is that?"

"Oh, nothing," was my initial reply. Then I added to it, "Nothing but your ears that looks like it's about to explode. It's so red!"

Joshua's hand immediately raised up to his ears and covered the both of them. "Y-yah! What's so funny about them, huh?"

"You look like an elf," I teased, unable to hold in my laughter. "Did you visit Santa? You must have been a naughty elf. He probably pulled both your ears that they're that red!"

"Aish, Kwon—"

As Joshua was about to say my real name, I slapped my hand against his lips and gave him a pair of my warning eyes. In a low whisper, I reminded him, "Don't."

My hand slowly retreated from Joshua's mouth and he gave me a slight nod. Looking around the area, he asked me in a whisper, "Do you want to go to my room? It's not that crowded and loud like here."

"Do you have any toys there?" I asked out of nowhere. "Or a game we could play?"

Joshua's lips curled into an amused smile. "I have a Wii with games you'd probably like. Don't worry, not all of them are gun games."

"Okay, let's go!"

Joshua swiftly dragged me out of the crowd of people and led me to a grand staircase at the end of the hallway and guided me into his room. As I heard from him, there were only four family members in this household. So why were there so many grand rooms? 

I understood the fact there are butlers, maids, cooks and cleaners living under this roof as well but they wouldn't live in the same floor as their masters, would they?

Joshua pushed the huge door open and showed me into his room, which was probably the size—or even bigger—of our classroom. When I checked out his bathroom, it was probably twice the size of my room. 

"Your room is enormous," I blurted out, looking around the unoccupied spaces. 

A thought hit me: why was someone as rich as him hanging out with a girl that was trailed with nothing but troubles and a broken family? I question our friendship once again. 

"Come sit," Joshua instructed, patting on his bed. 

I listened to Joshua and took a seat next to him on his very comfortable bed. He must live like a king while I live like a beggar with a house. 

After a moment of silence, I blurted out, "Joshua, let's not be friends anymore."

Joshua was also caught off-guard with my sudden request. "What? What are you saying, Nari?"

"Our lives are so different. You shouldn't be friends with someone like me. Our statues are like royalty and commoner. I don't see why we should continue this friendship of ours," I openly told him. 

"Nari—"

"Let's make this the last night we're friends. Starting tomorrow, we're strangers." I got up from his bed, my back facing him. I didn't want to see what expression Joshua had on his face or it'd make this goodbye harder. "Bye, Jisoo."

"Wait, Nari!" 

I shut the door behind me and lifted my skirt so it would be easier for me to run away. It was a good thing I was wearing flats tonight. I didn't know how I would have managed if they were heels. 

~Author's Notes~

Guys! Have you seen the teaser pictures for SEVENTEEN's comeback? I CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE T-T at the same time, I'm fearing that I might be dead from this comeback. BUT MINGHAO. I have a feeling he's going to be the bias wrecker for my list of this era. 

Plus, this is a FULL album. If my heart can't handle a mini album, how do I handle a full one? Someone, please tell me how OMOOOO! 

Pls ship me a new heart, thanks. 

I'm so curious on what this song will sound like! I'M HYPERVENTILATING AS I THINK ABOUT IT, OMONA! 

Alright, hoped you enjoyed this update! :)) See you guys in the next one! 

xoxo

Byun Sang Kyung