To Jinnie hyung <3:

Hyung, I know you can't see this but come back already! I miss you!

Jungkook sighed, placing his phone on the table next to his untouched lunch. He stared at the sandwich and the poorly prepared soup in his tray. He groaned in frustration as he grabbed the can of orange juice.

His eyes tiredly scanned the cafeteria. He had pulled an all-nighter doing his 10 pages homework so he would be able to submit it that day, luckily he had finished it and submitted it in 2nd period. But his body was weak seeing as he only went to bed by 3:30 in the morning.

The cafeteria was full, trays of untouched food placed in front of uninterested people that were chatting away. He wasn't the only person who hated cafeteria food. Almost everybody did. The food was horrible and it always made him puke whenever he ate it.

Most of the time, the students brought their own lunch from school, not Jungkook. His mother would kill him if he touched the food in the fridge.

"The school wouldn't feed everyone the food if it wasn't healthy!" Was her reply when Jungkook had complained about the cafeteria food to her.

He had to suck it up. He was used to it by now. He was also used to the loneliness, but the loneliness he felt presently was creepy and intense. It felt as if even his own soul had deserted him. He felt more alone than he had ever felt before.

His insides were repleting with deafening silence, one that was aching and jolting him to scream his lungs out and at the same time, to cower and hide in quietness.

Jungkook's head snapped up when he felt someone walk in front of him. Jimin was throwing his legs over the bench, to sit down in front of him.

"Oh, no, no, no," Jungkook mumbled to himself. He shut his eyes to relax his racing heart.

He wasn't quite sure why his heart always raced whenever he saw any of his ex. Was it because he was angry and hurt? or because he was nervous?

Jimin placed a heavy brown bag in front of himself.

"How're you feeling today? I was going to meet you yesterday but you seemed to disappear after every class and I looked for you but I didn't see you."

"Why are you here?" Jungkook asked. Jimin had not sat with him during lunch since their breakup.

"Don't you want me here?" His gaze was fixed. Unmoving.

Jungkook gulped. "Please, I-"

"I know you don't eat the cafeteria food." He switched his brown bag with Jungkook's tray of food.

Jungkook watched him. "What are you doing?"

"Eat mine. My mum made it. It's your favorite sandwich."

"Peanut butter and jam sandwich? Why would you mum make you that? You're allergic to nuts."

Jimin smiled. "I may have made a request."

Jungkook looked down at the brown bag.

"Come on eat it." Jimin opened the bag and started to get out the contents.

"We're not friends. Why would you bring me lunch?"

Jimin stopped moving, his eyes had gone up to look at Jungkook.

"Why are you doing this? Texting me? Checking up on me? Sitting with me? I don't get it. Are you trying to make fun of me?"

"Jungkook, no. I would never do that."

"You did that before."

Jimin sighed, inching closer and with a lowered voice he said, "I made a mistake back then. I was selfish and I'm sorry. But that's a long time ago and I'm a different person."

"That was 3 months ago, it's not that long."

"3 months is a long time for me to change. I just need another chance okay? Give me a chance to show you that I'm changed. Please let-"

"Give you a chance? How can you ask me that? After what you did to me? You cheated on me. You made me feel like a fool. I trusted you yet-"

"And I'm sorry. I'm very very sorry that I hurt you. That's why I said, I was selfish. You mean a lot to me and I regret letting you go. But you have to see that I've changed."

Jimin looked sincere, very sincere amd almost believable. But Jungkook knew Jimin too well, he knew that look. He had seen it before. Back when they had been dating, he confronted Jimin after hearing rumors of him cheating and Jimin had given him that same look.

"Why would I do that when I have someone like you, baby? You know I love you so much. I wouldn't cheat on you."

Jimin had looked sincere, Jungkook had bought it. Only to be punched with the truth of the reality a few weeks later that Jimin had actually been cheating.

Jungkook shook his head. "Please," He said desperately. "Stop calling me. Stop texting me."

"Jungkook, please."

"Please, Jimin. Stop doing this. Stop confusing me. Just leave me alone okay?"

Jungkook picked up his phone and got to his feet, but Jimin held unto his wrist, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"Please," He choked out. "I really love you and I'm sorry. Please."

Jungkook looked away from Jimin. His emotions were always on the edge, if he looked at Jimin for longer than a second, he was sure to start bawling. But he didn't want to appear weak to anyone, especially not to Jimin or Taehyung.

Jungkook snatched his hand away. He felt conscious and uncomfortable, having eyes staring at him from around. "Leave me alon."

Jungkook crossed over the bench and walked away, out of the cafeteria that had suddenly started to feel conjested.

Once he got to the hallway, Jungkook picked up pace and ran to the toilet, rushing into an empty stall and locking the door.

Tears were streaming from his eyes.

Why were they all doing this to him?

Why was Jimin acting like a saint all of a sudden?

Why was Yoongi making him feel so guilty every time he saw him?

Why was Taehyung making his heart break over and over again?

And why.. why was Jin so far away from him? Why was he not there with Jungkook, hugging him and telling him not to think about the others but him?

-

Jin tilted his head backwards as he sipped from his glass half-full with apple juice.

"That's right! Oppa."

Jin turned to his sister, raising a brow at her as he chewed on his food.

"Why didn't you come with Hoseok Oppa?"

Jin stopped chewing for a moment, staring at his sister who was looking at him inquisitively. His eyes shifted to his mother who was also waiting for a reply.

"Uh.. Hoseok has a job, Chayoung." He glanced at his sister briefly before going back to his food.

Chayoung frowned. "That's not fair! He should rest too! I miss Hoseok oppa."

"I'm sure he's fine."

"Can't you call him to come?"

"Uh.. His boss is really strict, Chayoung. Hoseok's job would be at stake if he tried coming."

Chayoung pouted. "Hoseok oppa promised to teach me how to Instagram."

"Maybe next time, okay?"

Sulking, Chayoung went back to her food.

"I'm done," She announced seconds later and rushed off.

For the next couple of minutes, Jin stirred his food, lost, not eating. The mention of Hoseok's name had made him lose his appetite. In fact, it had stripped him of the iota of comfort and happiness he had earlier felt.

All he felt now was hurt and misery.

If a few months back someone had told him in the future the mention of Hoseok's name would cause him great discomfort and heart ache, Jin would have never believed it.

He and Hoseok had been perfect. They never fought, never got mad at each other. They had been very understanding and accommodating with each other.

What was it that went wrong? What was it that had stolen away the sweet, caring and soft Hoseok who would call crying whenever Jin was away, saying he missed him? The Hoseok whose voice was as soft as feather when he spoke.

His voice had now turned hoarse and commanding. It had turned angry. Angry at Jin for reasons Jin would do anything just to know.

"Is everything okay between you and Hosoek?"

Jin snapped his head to his mother.

"What? Oh- Yes, mum," Jin nodded, forcing a smile.

His mother scanned his face closely. Jin made sure his smile didn't falter.

He laughed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

She shook her head, smiling. "I like Hoseok, very much. I like him just like he were my own son. From the very first day you came home with him, I accepted him as one of mine."

Slowly, Jin's smile came apart.

"I had never seen you as happy and as relaxed with anyone, like you were with Hoseok. You were as happy as newly weds and it made my heart swell. When your father died a few years back, you became withdrawn, distant. I was afraid I had lost my cheerful boy to his father's death. I prayed to get my son back. When you were going off to school, I was as scared as I was happy. I was happy that maybe you would find friends and eventually come back to yourself. I was also scared. 'What if it's too much for him and he's unable to cope?' I asked myself."

She sighed, a small smile playing on her lips.

"A few months later, when you called and told me you were coming home with someone, the sound of your voice was like a sweet love song dancing in my ear. I was so happy to hear you speak like that. And when you brought Hoseok, I knew my baby had found love. I could see how much you loved Hoseok. It made me remember a time in my life when I had also found love in the eyes of your father. Watching the two of you was like reminiscing the good days when your father and I first fell in love."

"If someone is able to make my son feel such a way, then that person is welcomed into my home with open arms. Your eyes were bright and lively. But baby, that is not what I see anymore."

Jin swallowed the lumped that had formed in his throat. He had looked down so his mother would not see the tears welling up in his eyes.

"You look drained, tired, fed up. Baby, I'm your mother and you cannot hide anything from me. I know that something is wrong. I knew something was wrong when I saw you walk into this house yesterday morning. You are not happy. Tell me, Seokjin. What is it? What is making your heart so heavy?"

Jin shook his head, not lifting it.

"Did you and Hoseok have a fight?"

Jin bit down on his lips to stop the sob that was trying to escape. It was hard holding back his tears when all he wanted to do was cry and scream.

"Is that why you're here?"

Once again he shook his head without saying anything, knowing his voice would surely betray him.

His mother sighed. "You can talk to me about anything, Seokjin. I'm your mother and I'll always be here for you whenever you're ready."

Jin shook his head. "Nothing..." He let out a shaky breath. "Nothing is.. wrong."

"Baby,-"

Jin got to his feet and moved out of the chair. "I'm just sleepy." His voice was hushed, barely above a whisper.

When he was out of her sight, Jin ran up the stairs and bolted for his room, locking it behind him.

His knees buckled weakly, knocking him to the floor where all his emotions, one after the other jumped out of his little body.

He hugged his legs, crying into his knees.

It was too much for him too handle. It was too damn much for him. And he wasn't sure how much longer he could continue with it.

-

A/n: ♥️ Thank you for 1k reads, guys!

Also, is the book going too slow or too fast? I can't really tell.