*Jhanvi Pov*

"Just go away, Jay." I said weakly and pressed my head again to the pillow to muffle my sobs.

He kidnapped her! I repeated the words and punched on the pillow beside mine. I turned around finally hearing no sounds of knocking or his voice.

Why didn't he tell me? I thought and placed my hand on my face trying to reduce the sobs. I immediately scolded myself.

What am I to him in the first place? We got together because of all the circumstances and just get along with the situation.

But... but he should have told me and how can he even do that? I groaned and stilled hearing his voice talking to Lakshmi.

"I will get you dinner." I can hear a muffled voice and I sighed in relief knowing well he will look after her while I just lock myself here even for a few hours before I can accept all this.

No wonder Manohar was so angry at him. Well, it's not like he did everything right. How did Kalpana bear all this and I was not even with her.

But then I remembered her saying she has a family. What if even I had a family like hers? I asked myself.

Why are you even angry, Jhanvi? What right do you have when Kalpana forgave him? Another set of questions started, but I pushed them away.

Why am I angry and hurt? I asked myself sitting up suddenly feeling they are the serious set of questions which I was ignoring.

Why? I repeated and got down from the bed before pacing in the room. I already knew he was her past and he returned to her.

I even knew they both were separated because of some planning from his mother. Now she is happy with her life, but I saw sadness for her in his eyes today and on the day he called her.

Is he wishing she were with him? Is he missing her? Maybe he would because she was his love or maybe still is. I am just... just someone he cared for.

Why am I feeling hurt thinking all this? We just thought of giving the marriage a chance, but just found out he still loves her. That's all, right?

But I was happy! I stated to myself closing my eyes and pressed the heel of my hand on my brow.

I was finally happy which was not there even when Ali returned except while looking at Harsha's happiness. All these years, it was revolved around my son, but now I got it for myself.

I am happy with my daughter and even though sad with the distance from Harsha, but happy for him doing something he likes. I am happy with Jay but now... now everything changed.

How can I just forget all this? I thought sighing and suddenly felt silly with everything that happened, but then felt the seriousness of it.

Why is Kalpana even with Manohar? I thought and immediately slapped my forehead. She knows what she is doing and I know I should talk to her later, but now I have something else to think about.

I don't have any right to feel anger or hurt! I chanted to myself suddenly when I heard the knocking resumed on the door.

"Just open once, Jhanvi! I have brought food." He said from the other side while I stayed silent.

"I will not say a single word and it is my promise, but have your food." He added and I somehow moved to the door and opened it hearing his voice.

He sighed in relief before walking inside while I moved aside and placed the food on the small table.

He gestured me to the food and I walked near to it before sitting down. I calmly had a little food before picking the tray and stood up, but he took is away from me.

He walked out, but returned within a few minutes while standing near the table where I was still standing.

"Take your clothes and go to another room." I calmly said, but he shook his head.

"What?" I asked him, but he shook his head.

"What is it?" I asked and he walked near to me while I moved back resulting in pressing to the window.

He held my face between his hands carefully before whispering, "No!"

"What do you mean? You want me to leave this room and shift to another?" I asked but he shook his head.

"No one is going anywhere. You go and sleep." He replied, moving away.

"Jay!" I said, but he held my hand and dragged me to the bed.

"I will sleep on the couch, but none of us are going to shift anything to any room." He stated before taking a pillow and walked out of the room while I stared at his back.

I rolled on the bed from one side to another, but couldn't get the sleep at all with so many thoughts wishing to burst out.

I sat up hearing the door opening to see Jay walking inside holding the pillow. He stared at me and then walked to the bed before lying down.

He turned around to see my sitting form before calmly whispering, "Go to sleep!"

And I did lying back on the bed within minutes, making me feel more confused with everything. I wish today didn't happen in the first place.

I woke up to see him pacing the room getting ready while talking to someone on the phone. I sat up and leaned on the headboard following his movements with my eyes.

"I will be there soon. Sure! Just don't forget all the files I asked you yesterday." He said and hung up.

Then he suddenly turned around to glance at me while I stiffened in my place with unknown fear and immediately saw him stiffening.

"I will never hurt you, Jhanvi." He simply said and walked out before I can open my mouth.

After a few minutes when I got down from the bed, he returned with Lakshmi in his arms all ready.

"She had her breakfast too. I am taking her to the school." He said and I slowly nodded while glancing at the clock to see I woke up late today.

"Bye Mom!" Lakshmi suddenly said and I smiled at her.

"School has literally changed the kids. It was very nice the word she used to use for you before." Jay said and I glanced up to stare at him.

"Are you going to work?" he asked I nodded to which he sighed, but walked away.

What should I tell you, Jay? I thought looking at his back, but then moved away to get ready myself before I get too late for work.

For the next one week it was the same with no changes except I woke up early unlike that day and also having dinner together but no words exchanged between.

"What is happening, Jhanvi?" he finally asked when we both lay on the bed in silence but not asleep.

"I am unable to come up to the terms." I replied.

"What terms?" he asked and I turned to stare at the ceiling.

"Everything! How could you kidnap her?" I finally asked and met with silence.

"I can try to think about your actions all those years back and maybe even forget like I did. But how can you do such thing in the first place? Do you think it is a simple matter?" I asked letting out the anger.

I turned to my side to see him already looking at me while I waited for his reply without making any sound.

"I don't know! I too can't believe that I did that, but I did and I regret it." He replied while I frowned.

"It is better if we have space for ourselves and rethink everything." I mumbled, but he shook his head.

"No!" he said with more force than that day.

"You are angry at me? Fine! I will bear your anger. You are disappointed in my behavior? I will bear it too. But I will not pay price by staying away from you for the mistakes I already paid too many times. I am not saying I sacrificed something, but I am tired." He said weakly.

"Tired of what?" I asked in shock.

"I am tired of having this process of pulling myself down with every incident. I am tired of thinking worse about myself. I am tired of thinking I don't deserve the happiness. I am tired of fearing I will be alone. I am tired of letting everything go no matter how much it is hurting to see fear in your eyes as if I am criminal and maybe I was at that moment but not now and never will be." He replied, but I shook my head not knowing how to explain that my intention was not that last week.

"Mistakes? I did and I may do again." He added shifting near to me and held my face, but I tried to move away which he didn't allow.

"But I will not allow this space you are saying we need." Saying that he pressed his lips to mine but I tried pushing him away.

"I am angry at you, Jay." I shouted and he moved a little.

"I don't know whether I should or not, but I am." I said and thought he would move away, but he brought his hand around me circling my waist before pulling me more to him.

"Then be angry at me. But I will not keep myself away from you giving you the space to be angry. I finally found everything I wish for and I am not going to lose it." He said in a stubborn tone while the tears started hearing his words.

"You can't force us to be together. And I am too confused to think anything. I deserve the time and space." I said, hoping he can understand, but he again did his favorite act of shaking head.

"No, Jhanvi! I will not let you get that disgust look in your eyes for me again. I can't give you this space which I know will end up with you thinking of complete separation." He said while I closed my eyes.

"Jay!" I said weakly, feeling the breaks in the wall I am trying to build against him.

"Please, Jhanvi! Don't let the happiness we found together go away. Even if you wish to, I will not. I am too selfish and just remember that." He said in a stubborn tone and I quivered in his arms.

I wish! I wish I can forget everything and the confusions and all but I already know why I am feeling the anger and hurt. Still, I don't know whether I have the right to.

"I will not let my past mistakes ruin this present we have." He stated when I stayed silent and kissed me.

This time I let the resistance leave my body, letting my emotions roll over. I missed him and I feel weak to be stubborn before him.

Suddenly I am feeling selfish somewhere. He hurt my friend and here I have fallen for him. But he has been hurting himself more. And she is happy. Still, what if whatever I am doing is wrong?

"Don't hate me, Jhanvi." His words with a pained voice brought me out of my thoughts and I moved my hands to hold him back to me forgetting everything else both around and inside my head.

---------------------------------

so, only little more is there for the story to finish and ali's story will not be started after this for sure... 

how is the chap???

comment plz and vote...