I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love. Four years ago I would repeat those words over and over again. I would also remind myself that he loves me, no matter what he said to me, or did to me. I kept reminding, and repeating. Maybe it was just to make me believe, believe that he loved me, and that he would change. But, as Fontine said in Les Mis, there are dreams that can not be, and there are storms we can not weather. One year later, we broke up. Or rather, I broke up with him. He had hit me. I could not take it any more. But without him, I felt like I was nothing. Like I had no point in life.
I rushed into another relationship. I poured my heart out to that boy.
But then he came back again. Said he had changed. And I believed him because he was a Junior, and I was a stupid eighth grader. That only lasted a month. He hurt me, again.
I went back to the other boy. Had my first 'kiss' if that's what you call it when you kiss someone other than your family on the cheek for the first time. That didn't last long either.
skip to a few months ago, the beginning of the school year. I saw her. 'I'm in love.' I thought. I had seen the most beautiful girl, but I though back to him. The Shadow, I like to call him. And I thought she might be just like him. I got to know her. She was dating a junior. I new I had no chance. She was kind, and caring, and stunning. But as much as I want to ask her out, I know, he will always be in my mind.
As much as I want to say, I am stronger than I was back then, I know that I am not.
He has always been in my mind. Reminding me to stay slim. Eat less. Work out more.
I am not stronger. But I can try to be. I can try to forget my past, and I can try to ask her out.
Jor, if you are reading this, will you go out with me? I know that I might flinch if you touch me in cirtin spots, and I know that I might be caushus at first, but will you give me a chance?

(A/N)
Oh jeez, I really hope she doesn't read this haha maybe if this chapter gets 30 views, I will ask her out probs not though 😂

Taylor out! 🔷