Zim paced like caged tiger. How could Dib, how COULD he!? He knew it wasn't rational to have expected to Dib have been waiting for him, worrying over him for almost ten years, but to have actually had a child with that human woman!? To have chosen a family he'd always claimed to have never wanted over his irken lover!

Again, he knew he was being irrational he just didn't care! It wasn't fair! The whole reason Zim had left is because Dib didn't WANT a child! He'd spent the last few months of their relationship telling his father to piss off because he didn't WANT kids!

How could any of that have made sense to the irken? It just didn't. There was no way any of that could be real. Zim figured he was having some sort of nighttime hallucination, like when a human dreams. Yes, that was it. He'd been knocked out by one of the Tallests' attempts at killing him and was currently hallucinating.

Or maybe he was dead and this was just Hell.

Either way Zim wanted out and as he headed for the door it swished open, Dib walking in with a superior yet entirely too calm look on his face. One would swear he wasn't about to interrogate his former alien lover, but rather was playing a somewhat difficult game of chess.

Zim stopped, his breath catching in his throat and his irken heart pausing.

They stared at one another, neither really knowing what to say. Zim wished Dib would yell at him. That he would yell and scream at Zim for leaving and throw insults so that Zim could yell back, and argue that Dib never really cared and had lied to him. That way he wouldn't be the only one looking bad in the argument. Unfortunately he knew Dib was way too rational for something like that and he was proven right when Dib finally did open his mouth.

"Going somewhere? Or did I actually catch you running away this time?"

Zim grimaced. That comment stung, but he quickly adopted an angry look, one he usually wore when ignorance and his supposed charm couldn't get him out of whatever trouble he'd gotten himself into.

"Go ahead, make jokes, be angry or whatever, but you have no idea-!"

Dib quickly interrupted. "Don't give me any of your bullshit Zim; I didn't come here for excuses. I don't even care that you left anymore. I stopped caring-...."

It was Zim's turn to interrupt.

"Seven years ago?" He asked, hiding his pleasure at the confused look on Dib's face. He didn't wait for the human to ask to elaborate. "At the most. I met your daughter. She's turning seven. That means you had to have stopped caring a little more than seven years ago."

Dib turned angry then. "You don't understand anything about that!"

"Of course I don't!" Zim yelled, feeling insulted. "I don't understand anything because I'm the stupid alien defect!"

"No you aren't!" Came an insistent yell from the still open door. Lix was standing there looking intensely upset. "You're not a defect Zim! You're just unique!"

Zim immediately calmed down at the worried look the hybrid held on his face and he said quietly. "Go lay down, Lix. I'll come talk to you in a minute."

"No!" He said, pouting. "You're upset!"

Dib looked back and forth between the two, watching in amazement. Irkens didn't have this kind of relationship. It was weird to see Zim suddenly so calm and in control of himself. And then there was just the fact that he was with anyone else at all. Zim just didn't make attachments like that.

Zim sighed and walked over to Lix. He put a hand on the other's shoulder and whispered something to him. To this Lix nodded and slunk off to his room, looking like he'd just been told he couldn't watch TV or something.

"Who the hell IS that?" Dib had to asked, giving Zim a piercing look.

Zim whirled on Dib and shut the door, looking angry once more. "What do you even care?"

He knew Dib had the right to know. But he couldn't tell the human. If he did then the human would go and do something stupid that would let Lix know. He couldn't afford that kind of rejection. Not when he'd just found out that the only person he'd ever really cared about had given up on him after only two years of being gone.

"It's my ship Zim." Dib stated matter-of-factly. "I deserve to know who's on my ship."

Zim just stared Dib down a moment before saying, "His name is Lix and he's a smeet who was put in my care after I'd left. The Tallest were just gonna kill me. But they decided not to when the smeet took to me better than anyone else."

Dib seemed to accept this answer with a, "Whatever."

"We'll get your ship fixed up and then you can go." He said as he brushed past Zim and left the room.

A few minutes later Zim entered Lix's room and sat on the bed, to which Lix instantly crawled into the other's open lap.

Zim hugged his smeet, thinking for a moment that he really wish he could have a deeper relationship with Lix. Then maybe he wouldn't feel so empty when he thought of Dib. But the Tallest had made sure to poison his hybrid's mind, thus erasing any chance he had. Who would want Zim for a parent after all of that? He buried his face against the smaller's shoulder, which was a little wider than a normal nine year old smeet's shoulder. But only when standing next to another irken could you really pick up this slight difference in bone structure.

"That human upset you a lot didn't he?" Lix asked, looking none-too-pleased himself.

Zim just let out a shaky breath, replying without looking up, "I think I deserved it."

Lix simply cocked his head to the side in confusion. Zim could feel this and elaborated, "I was so... ignorant. The one time I decide not to be selfish ended up being the wrong choice."

Lix reached a hand up to pet Zim's head lightly as he said, "I don't think you're very selfish. You spent the last couple of years taking care of me."

Zim shook his head and laughed, "No, that was me being selfish too. I wanted to keep you."

Lix laughed as well. A lot of things that Zim said didn't make sense, but he could pick up on the affection in the other's voice and it made him feel happy. It was much better than the Tallests' proud approval.

Since then Zim pretty much stayed in his room. Occasionally Hollin would drop by, quickly followed by her mother. Hollin seemed to have an infatuation with Lix and often asked to play with him. Zim approved, feeling that Lix would enjoy the company of a smart alien, as Hollin did seem to be a very bright girl.

But then, what could you expect from Dib's daughter?

One day, about three days until Hollin's birthday, Karen decided to hang out with Zim. While the kids played Karen made herself comfortable on Zim's couch, taking one end while Zim had the other.

"Dib's been rather moody lately." Karen said, keeping her hands on her knees so she wouldn't feel inclined to offer any sort of affection during the conversation she planned to entangle Zim in. She felt that Zim might not appreciate it.

"I can imagine he would be." Zim said, not really looking at Karen as she made small talk. He didn't exactly feel like making friends with Dib's current wife or lover or whatever it was she was to him.

"He doesn't hate you, you know?" Karen said.

This didn't elicit much of a reaction unless you count clamming up as a reaction.

"He says he doesn't care but I know he does, Zim. I think you know this too. He wouldn't be angry unless he cared."

Zim's antennae wilted. Dib was angry at him.

"He was really upset when you left, you know?" Karen said, fidgeting a little. "he tried to look for you. But after a while, when he couldn't find you, he just figured you ran away because you were sick of his father. They got into a huge argument over and in the end Membrane decided to give Dib this station so he could run things his way. Membrane is still keeping tabs on him, though. Dib's not really free of him because Membrane still runs the rebellion."

"Membrane has never had anything to do with the decisions I've made." Zim said angrily. "I hate that man for what he did to Dib back then! I've always hated him for everything he's done! As if that would influence me to leave Dib!"

Zim took a moment to remember who he was talking about and quickly calmed down.

"It doesn't matter anyway. He wants me gone and that's all there is to it."

Karen gave Zim a sympathetic look. "That's not really though." She waited for a response and when she didn't get one she asked, "Why DID you leave then?"

"It was a medical thing." Zim said. He frowned at Karen. "I had to get it taken care of in the Empire."

"Why couldn't Nils take care of it?" Karen asked and Zim shook his head.

"I couldn't trust Nils with this. It had to be done in the Empire. Then I had to stay because Lix needed me." That was all Zim was going to say about it.

Karen decided that she could tell when the conversation was over and got up, asking, "Can I expect you at Hollin's party?"

Zim shook his head, his eyes downcast. "I won't be feeling well that day."

Lix ended up running off to the party. He would have stayed with Zim if the elder had let him but he wanted to be alone. So he gave Hollin's present to Lix (something that had been made from the electronics that he found lying around) and sent him off. Zim spent the rest of the day then curled up on the covers.

Seven years old. The proof that Dib had moved on was seven years old and it made him sick. Hollin was a sweet and smart girl, but she was the embodiment of the fact that Dib's world didn't revolve around Zim and it just killed him. It sounded selfish, and it probably was, but he would give anything if Hollin and Karen could just vanish from existence and let him patch things up with Dib.

So Zim spent that day alone, not even answering when both Karen and Lix came knocking at his door. He simply pretended to be asleep and ignored them.

After the party Karen walked Lix to his room, knocking on the door to let Zim know he was back, before heading to her own quarters that she shared with Dib and Hollin to help clean up.

Their apartment was much bigger than everyone else's. A perk of being married to the leader. Hollin had already dragged all her presents to her room and was currently pretending to be putting them where they belonged, while actually playing with them.

Karen helped Dib bag up wrapping paper and shove it all down the recycling chute. Once done that sat on the couch together, about ready to collapse from exhaustion.

"Wish Zim could have come. Bet he would have liked the cake." Karen said idly. Dib just grunted. "You should go talk to him." She said then. "I think he might be sick or something."

Dib gave his wife and unimpressed look. "You know how I feel about that bug."

Karen looked just as impressed. "I know how you USED to feel too. You were in love with him, Dib. I think you still are or it wouldn't make you so angry that he left."

Dib just huffed and turned his head away. He did not want to be having this conversation with Karen. The two of them weren't exactly in love, but she was the mother of his daughter and it just didn't seem right to be talking about his alien lover to her.

"I talked to him you know." Karen argued.

"Oh yeah?" Dib asked, rolling his eyes. "And what excuse did he give you that he left, hm?"

Karen gave Dib an angry look. "It was a medical reason Dib. Remember you crying to me after he left about how worried you were because of how sick he was? That's the reason!"

"yeah right!" Dib yelled, standing. "He's probably just gotten better at lying. He was having blood sugar issues. Hardly a medical emergency!"

"You seemed to think it was!" Karen yelled. "For all you know it could have been some irken equivalent of cancer!"

Dib shook his head. "I can't believe you're buying into his bullshit! That's all it is!" He took a deep breath to keep his voice from getting any louder. "He left me for his Empire. That's all he's ever cared about, ask anyone. Even Nils knows this and when she looked at him right before he left she saw that there was NOTHING wrong with him. HE even said so. I was panicked then but NOW I know better. He's just a liar."

Karen shook her head, saying, "No, irkens are liars. He's a defect. And if he really didn't care then he would have no problem showing up at the party today. But he didn't, in fact he's been avoiding even the CHANCE of running into you. He's ACHING Dib."

"No." Dib said, glaring at a wall. "he's just mad because he was caught." And with that he disappeared into their room.

Zim quickly figured out that you couldn't hide forever and eventually Lix, with the help of Hollin, got Zim out of his room and doing stuff. Thankfully Zim didn't run into Dib at all the first few days out and got into a good rhythm of activity. Lix was very happy with this because it seemed the more energy Zim used the happier he was. His injuries he'd received from the attempted assassinations had also healed up nice and his broken antennae turned out to not be completely useless. He could still hear from it but it didn't move quite like it used to.

One morning he found himself in the stations observatory. Not many people went there it seemed. Once you'd seen the same patch of stars ten times you usually didn't care to see them anymore. Especially when said stars were right outside your window anyway. So Zim usually had it to himself.

Only that morning Dib was there as well and had caught sight of him just before he could sneak back out.

It turns out he'd been waiting for Zim.

"using a medical excuse was clever." Dib said, glaring at Zim. "Being that I was so worried about you and everything."

"Why do you even care?" Zim asked, glaring back defensively. "You said you didn't want to hear my excuses anyway, why should you care what I tell Karen. Even if it was a lie?"

"Because now she's all pissed at me that I won't go running back to you and embrace you in some kind of show of relief." Dib said, growling.

Zim looked confused." Your WIFE wants us back together?"

Dib rolled his eyes. "She's not exactly the love of my life, Zim. We were friends and decided to get married so Dad would stop bitching at me."

Zim looked even more concerned. "Then what about-?"

"I'm not here to discuss my life with you!" Dib yelled. "I want you to stop feeding Karen your bullshit sob stories!"

Zim snarled. "Just because you don't believe me does not mean that everything I say is bullshit!" he yelled. "You're just all pissed because you didn't want to admit that maybe it was YOUR fault that I left!"

Zim honestly didn't expect the reaction he got, which was Dib's mouth snapping shut and his form stiffening up as though he'd been punched.

"What are you saying?" Dib asked, looking surprised. "Are you saying I did something?"

Zim's own form relaxed and he looked off to the side, trying not to look like he cared. Even still though he shook his head as he lifted up his shirt. There was still a large scar from the operation he'd had.

"I'm not a liar, Dib." He said before looking down at the scar. He traced it with one of his claws and Dib walked nearer to get a better look at it.

"What was it then?" He asked, almost reaching out to touch it, but he didn't.

Zim looked up at Dib, debating with himself on what to say before finally saying, "I can't tell you."

Dib looked angry again. "Why not?"

"I can't." Zim said, frowning. "Just- that- that day I left. That thing on the scan that I said with scar tissue... that's not what it was." Dib opened his mouth to ask but Zim beat him to it. "I can't tell you what it was. Just... I had to get it removed."

Dib put both hand on Zim's shoulders and gave him a small shake. "Damn it Zim! Stop jerking me around!"

Zim glared and gave Dib a push. "I told you what I can, why isn't that enough for you!?"

Dib pushed back. "Because if you're holding the truth back from me then how can I trust that it's even the truth in the first place!?"

Zim held his ground. "You could trust ME!" He yelled. "You used to!"

He then smirked, "And what about you holding out on me?" The alien asked. "Why DID you have Hollin? Same as Karen? Does it make your loving father happy to have a little demon grand-daughter?"

Again, Zim wasn't expecting Dib to react that way he did. Before he could even contemplate that Dib was throwing a punch at him he was already on the floor with a sore cheek.

That was the end of conversing. Almost like when they were back in school together they were rolling on the ground trying to kill each other. The only difference was that Dib quickly over powered Zim this time. He'd obviously been training while Zim was babysitting his own child and he still didn't have used of his pak. Zim kicked at Dib, trying to get the other off but ultimately failing which only made Dib laugh.

"You've really gotten pathetic haven't you? You probably couldn't even beat me if your pak was working!"

Zim struggled before going still. "No," He said with a glare. "you're the pathetic one!"

Before Dib could ask why something tackled into his side, knocking him off of Zim.

"Leave him alone!" Lix yelled, effectively subduing the human. Or... it would have been effective had Lix not been so much smaller than Dib, thus allowing Dib to escape and lift Lix up with one hand.

Lix glared at Dib, a look so eerily similar to Zim's that it almost made him shiver.

The small irken struggled in Dib's grasp, trying to punch or kick the alien. "You leave Zim alone!" He yelled. "You've hurt him enough you just leave him alone!"

Dib looked back and forth between the two irkens and Zim got up to snatch Lix from his grip.

"I'm fine," Zim said, glaring, but not at Lix or Dib. "Don't get in the middle of it."

Dib scowled. "Your ship is almost done." He said. "Once it is you can leave." And with that he left the observatory.

Dib sat in the security booth of the space stations upper floor where the main control center was. He was watching footage of the corridor their irken visitors stayed in, going over it. He told himself that he was just making sure that they weren't up to any trouble, but there was something about them, both Lix and Zim, that made him feel edgy. He couldn't put his finger on it but it didn't feel right.

Karen found him half an hour later staring at some still frames of Zim and Lix, Zim carrying Lix to the room after they had first gotten there.

She smiled. "Dib, you're going to have to let go of your anger eventually." The human woman came up behind the other and wrapped her arms around Dib.

"It would be easier if Zim wasn't hiding something." Dib said, ignoring Karen's affection in favor of staring at the picture.

Karen hummed and looked at the still frame, humming before saying in a happy voice, "If you didn't know any better, you would swear Zim was born to play mommy or something!"

Dib hummed, about to throw the comment from his mind before quickly latching onto it. He stared at the screen harder for a minute before standing, dislodging Karen from around his neck.

"I have to go!" He said quickly, walking from the security booth.