"I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever." ― Rabindranath Tagore.

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^^Pic of dress ;) enjoy Reading.

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Tani's POV

"Faiz, please be calm, I'll meet you after a while." I said while stepping out of the room which was not of so much use cause he again pulled me inside and while holding me by his side, he asked what I thought is, angrily?

"Why? where are you going?"

"You know better than anyone in this room that where I'm going, I'm going to meet the only person of my life who is in this fucking hospital and who is in that condition because of me."

"It was not your fault Tani." huh?

"Really? and how can you be so sure about that?" Faiz dropped his gaze to the floor and left my arm.

"Okay, you can go." Yeah, As if I was asking for his permission to meet him.

"I never asked for your permission, Faiz." I spat at him and again his eyes turned to dark one but he quickly covered them and gestured me to go ahead and I shrugged carelessly.

After fighting with my inner self more, I started taking steps towards his room. Every scene of last year came to my mind as a flashback and I couldn't hold my tears anymore and quickly turning into the corner, I bursted out crying.

"Ya Allah! Please forgive me for whatever happened in that year, you know it was not my fault, I didn't intentionally do those all things, I didn't. Everything was out of my control, you know that, but why didn't you control those things, why did you let him suffer? Why did you let Sami suffer a lot? It was not his fault. It was not." I said to Allah while crying.

Everything came in my mind, Rezay, my friends, my parents, Sami, my engagement day, letter, that kidnapper or murderer and then ------- blood, lots of blood and then I had been kicked out of my own home whether they say or not but I knew somewhere deep down in me, that they thought and still thinks that I'm guilty, I'm the only reason behind all those happenings, although it was not in my control. But it's true, Sami loved me, tried to marry me and that's why he suffered and still suffering. After that day, one thing seemed clear to me, whoever he is, he don't wanna see me happy and that's why he don't want me to marry anyone and if I'd try, he'd kill that person.

"But why not me? why can't he just kill me and get away from me?" I asked loudly while crying.

But I should meet him, it has been one year since I last saw him, since I last met him, I can't leave him like this anymore when he needed me the most, I should stay with him, here, forever, he is my best friend and there is not doubt in that, that I love him. I love him more than myself, he was the only one to listen me, understand me, when no one was there for me, when everyone was blaming me, he was there with me, for me and then when all this happened my parents never gave me another chance to meet him, but today? Today, I have a chance, I have a chance and I'd never listen to anyone anymore that what should I do in my life or what should I not. Everyone has lost their right in my life, if they can't believe me, can't listen to me, then they should leave me alone. I know behind Sami's condition, I am responsible, I should have refused his proposal, but had I known that before? Was it in my hand? So why blame me? why? But that's true whatever that sinner did, he did it for me, he did it so that I can never think about to marry anyone and if everyone is blaming me and if I'm truly responsible then I'll make it right with the help of my ALLAH. Inshaa Allah.

While promising to myself I quickly stood straight, took out my cell phone from my bag then I quickly typed a text to my friends in a group,

"I'm here with Sami, Care to join me? :)"

After sending it to them, I started pacing back and forth in the hallway, while waiting for their reply, I headed again towards his room, while thinking, the only thing I knew that I can't face him, I just can't face him like I'm facing any dead person. I just hope I won't break before him, I should be strong for him but how can I ?

When my phone beeped in my hand, I quickly read their reply,

"Yohooo!! Stay there, we're coming. ;)"

I smiled while reading their message and when I looked up from my cell phone, my breath hitched, I felt I saw someone, I saw someone looking at me and he just vanished. He was just there, peeking at me from the room that was infront of me in the hallway. I just stood there still, unmoving.

'Who was that?' I asked myself but maybe I know who was that. I quickly turned around looking quickly in all my surroundings. I was so sure, it was him. But why he is still behind me? what does he want now? He destroyed my life completely, now what else he wants from me? I got angry, if I'd ever encounter him, I'd kill him, I tried to assure myself but seriously who am I lying to? I'm nothing before him, I clearly remembered last time when I met him, yes I met him on my engagement day and that meeting was nothing but just another horrible experience of my life.

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*FLASHBACK*

One Year Before:

I was standing still on the road till the front door of Molly's home opened and then all my friends started questioning,

"Wow Tani! You are back, you are actually back? We saw you from the balcony, but why are you standing there? Come inside." They all started dragging me inside and I was like, I can just hear them but can't react, can't move, can't say anything. When they noticed that I didn't say any single thing, then molly interrupted,

"Tani? what happened? Why are you not saying anything? Can you tell us what happened?" They looked worried, I tried to say something but nothing came out, my eyes started stinging and then I felt tears streaming down from my face.

"Tani? What happened? Did he hurt you?" They all said once while hugging me and caressing me and staring at me worriedly and I bursted, I bursted out crying like a kid, thanks to God that molly's parents were not home that day otherwise I don't know what they'd think. Then I said meanwhile crying,

"H--he l--left m--m-me!" I hardly spat out those words while gagging.

I hid my face with both hands and kept crying, sobbing and hiccuping, until everything seemed black and I fainted.

The next thing I know was just I woke up in my room, in my bed with everyone around me including my parents, my siblings, my friends, Sami and nurse? what just happened here? I quickly tried to sit when Mommy asked everyone,

"Can you all please leave, I wanna talk to my daughter alone?" The way my mommy said that, a wave of shiver ran down through my spine with fear and I gulped. When everyone was out including nurse, mom turned towards me almost glaring at me,

"Care to explain me? What is that?" Mom removed my stole roughly from my neck and pointed towards it and I cursed under my breath.

"Mom I---I--" And I got a slap, a quick hard slap, as expected.

"You had gone to meet someone, right? Your friends helped you in it, right? And you did all that there with whoever he was, you did this---this?" Mom said poking my neck and I squirmed under her touch.

"Mom, p--please let me explain?" I pleaded while crying.

"No, what do you wanna explain? ha? That you went there and you slept with someone. Right?" My eyes bulged out from it's sockets,

"M--mom?"

"What?" Mom asked almost shoutedly,

"Y--y-ou really think I'd sleep with anyone before marriage?" I asked crying badly and she just shook her head.

"I can't say anything anymore about you, I just know that you and your friends---" I cut her off.

"They have nothing to do with it Mom." I said sternly and my mom glared at me more then she said,

"Okay, then you, only you, lied to your parents, ran away with someone, came back home and fainted, then I found a mark on your neck which answered my every question, now what else I could expect with that type of child?" I nodded, okay, I agree, that was my mistake that I lied to them but if I'd say the truth could I ever meet him? Would they give me permission to meet him?

"I know, I lied to all of you, but it was for a reason mom. Please try to under--"

"No! I'll not ever try to understand you anymore Tani, your father will not talk to you anymore, he was right about you before, it was my mistake to trust you." I looked at her questioningly.

"Mom?"

"Rude much? I know that." She raised her index finger then said,

"No more arguments and just cover it, your neck, your friends wants to talk to you." I nodded and quickly wiped my tears off of my face. I knew it was my mistake to not tell them before, though they can't think so low about me, I can never sleep with anyone with my own will before marriage, I can only have that relationship after marriage with my husband, yeah Rezay kissed me and he left that mark of his on my neck but that was forcefully, I didn't want that to happen, atleast not like that's how it happened, but anyhow it happened, I couldn't control this and that was my mistake. But damn it! I love that person how'd I control myself. Allah! Please forgive me, I know, I'm not your good Muslimah. I'm sorry, Please forgive me.

While I was talking to my Allah, when everyone came again in my room, my friends, Sami, Hamza and Ghannu. Pop and mom seemed to be so much angry and I didn't even push it more, I know if I'd make them say anything then it'd not be good for me also not for them. So I just let it go.

Hamza asked me who was that and what happened and I just ignored his question while shrugging in response, I didn't want to tell him anything infront of everyone, I wanted to talk to him and Ghannu in private and I thought he got that idea cause he then quickly went out of my room after nodding in response with Sami. I don't know why Sami went out with him, but he did. Then there it was just my friends, Ghannu, and me and then they started questioning.

"What happened?"

"Why were you crying?"

"Why did you faint?" well, that I didn't know too.

When their questions ended, I explained them everything, in detail, excluding the part of kidnapping and kissing, I told them that he left me, he don't love me anymore, and for telling me this he wanted to meet me. They were all shocked but then they started cursing him and I was numb at that point. I felt like I can't speak anything anymore, I just don't know why he did that, whatever he did, what was my mistake in that, I didn't know that anything. When they've gone too now Sami entered along with Somy and I sighed, I've to explain it again and again to everyone separately?

Somy questioned me infront of Sami, and I again repeated the whole scene, everything, like I explained them before but when Sami was alone with me. I said,

"We kissed." Sami's expression was priceless.

"What?"

"You heard me, Sami." I sighed and moved my face to other side, I didn't want to see him, I felt guilty, Now when here is no Rezay, then there is no chance to runaway from Sami, I have to marry him.

"But why?" I shrugged in response and then I felt his hand on my neck.

"Is that because he kissed you?" I flinched with his sudden attack but I realized my stole can't cover it anymore, I think I should take a shower and change in some comfortable clothes too so that this mark won't show this much.

Then to reply his question, I explained everything to him, Although he got angry on Rezay, but he did nothing, he just sat there and kept listening everything from me carefully and I was really thankful to him for that. It was hard for any man to hear that the woman he is going to marry just kissed someone. But yeah, I couldn't lied to him. It'd be like betraying him and I didn't want that and he himself too thought that I did the right thing by telling him and he assured me that, it was not my fault and I shouldn't feel guilty and ashamed although I could see his anger and hurt on his face but he assured me that it was not my fault, he told me that he'll talk to my parents too but I refused him to do so and I knew that when I have no more hope from Rezay then I have to marry Sami and for that I was ready, I gave my consent to him, I was ready, I agreed, cause I deserved that. I deserved to be punished for loving a liar, a betrayer, an evil.

And I knew that my parents wouldn't let me live here anymore so they'd arrange my marriage as soon as possible and as I expected, they decided my engagement and marriage to be held on next month. Although my marriage was decided to be held after three years, but they don't wanted me in this home anymore so they arranged my marriage soon.

One month passed in a hurry although my every night went crying and begging for Rezay, but he didn't show up, he blocked me from everywhere, from facebook, from whatsapp. I wanted to ask him that why he did that but then I remembered he don't want me in his life, he was in pain because of me? I don't know why, but he left me after giving me lame excuses and I was still waiting for him, that maybe he'd return, maybe he'd come back for the sake of our love, but it never happened.

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AFTER ONE MONTH

The day arrived, for which my parents were waiting impatiently, they just wanted me to throw out of this house as soon as possible.

Everyone was in my home, lots of guests, the whole house has been decorated with flowers and lights cause it was my engagement day? But why I was not feeling like this? Why couldn't I feel that this was my engagement day? Why I was not happy but everyone was?

The day came, Ubtan has been applied on my whole face and body since last 10 days and I was doing everything that they wanted like a statue/robot. Like applying ubtan, applying henna last night, doing shopping for my own marriage. Sometimes they took me with their selves or sometimes they sent me with Sami but they forced me to do shopping. I was looking at my engagement dress which was lying on my bed, I observed it, it was Sami's choice, his choice was beautiful, but he chose a wrong person for marriage. I can't still believe this that a person like him, how can he choose me? why me? I never asked him that question and I decided that I'll ask him tonight.

The dress was beautiful, simple but beautiful, it was sky blue colored long front open dress with embroidery and bead work on it, and the stole was extra ordinary large so that to cover my head with it in a bridal way. I was liking that dress more and more everyday since the day we bought it, but that was true, I don't deserve this all, It was not for me, I don't know how but I was sure that I'm not in his fate, I should not be his wife, everything is going wrong. I've never seen him as my husband. I don't know but I felt as if something would going to happen, name it as my nervousness or what? But I felt everything was going wrong, I just knew, it's not right.

My engagement ceremony was at night 8:00 P.m, As the time has decided by the consent of both families and right 2 hours before after Azaan, I took a shower, offered Maghribain prayers and then my all friends came into my room to make me a doll, yeah ofcourse. Before make up, I quickly changed in that dress and when I came out of bathroom, their faces were like they have seen a ghost, I asked,

"What?"

"Tani, y-ou--you--you---?" Molly was continuously stuttering till I jerked her arm,

"You what? Spit it out?" I asked chuckling at his face,

"Wow! Beautiful!" I turned around to see Faiz standing in the door way of my room, looking at me intensely.

"Boys are not allowed here." They all said in unison while closing their wide and open mouths.

I laughed and said,

"Yes, Faiz, get out of here."

"And if I won't?" He asked smirking.

"Then we'd all throw you out of this room." I said along with my friends and started laughing and he shook his head in disbelief.

"Hoo! Girls, girls, girls----can never change." He said and threw a wink towards me, and I smirked, then he quickly head out of my room and they all quickly locked the door.

"Tani, you don't need makeup, that's what I was trying to say to you." Molly said and I just nodded in response,

"Yes Tani, you are looking extremely gorgeous in this dress." Yasira said,

"Like this dress is just made for you." I smiled at Badra's comment and then I started,

"Will you guys keep praising me or will you do anything to me? Or am I looking that much beautiful that I should go for my engagement ceremony without makeup, jwellery and stole on my head?" I asked smirking and they all chuckled,

"Ohh! Miss beautiful, well you are looking exactly that much beautiful that you should go in there without makeup and whatsoever, but--but we're not your cruel friends, so we'd just give you a little touch up." Badra said and Molly, Yasira nodded in agreement and I smiled.

In less than an hour, I was ready just my stole was not completely fitted on my head which they were trying hard to fit without spoiling my hairstyle and in the end they did that too. I was thankful to them, they happily accepted and respected my decision of marrying Sami cause they all knew that my family wants this and if I refused then it'll not be good for me. When I was ready they told me that they all are going in the guest room to make themselves ready too and to check on the arrangements. Yes they stayed last night here and I'm really thankful for that also I really enjoyed their company. Otherwise, I'd spend my whole night crying for Rezay.

When they all had gone, I was standing in my window looking outside, when I heard knock on my door, I quickly went towards it, but I thought I should ask before opening it, I asked,

"Who's that?" I waited for 5-10 seconds but no reply came.

"Who's there?" I again asked, but no reply.

I decided I should open it atleast, maybe it could be any kid who could have run away after knocking on my door, so I opened it, I peeked out quietly then I opened it widely, there was no one, no sign of human was there on the first floor. I was about to close the door again when I saw something on the ground, a paper? When I picked it up, I saw something was written on it, w--w-with b-b-blood? And three words, only three words, were carved on that paper or should I say letter?

YOU ARE MINE

After reading this, I started shaking with fear, I felt numb, I couldn't move, just these questions were in my mind, whose blood is that? who could be that ? who could have left this here? and why? Everything must be okay, everyone must be okay. Yes everyone should be okay. I would die if anything to anyone would happen because of me. I started crying with fear, but quickly my attention diverted when I heard my phone was ringing loudly in my room, I quickly took few steps back in my room, closed the door, locked it and when I turned around to pick up the call, I saw someone standing there, besides my window, he was dressed in full black, his face was covered as usual and his dark eyes were dancing with lust and amazement? The first thing that came in my mind,

"Ohh Allah, help me!"

And then I quickly turned around to unlock the door and got out of this room, but he was quicker than me, he quickly grabbed me by my waist and hands, his one hand clamped my mouth shut and the other was holding my hands, then he said something in my ear, and shiver ran down through my spine,

"I wanna rape you right here, right now, you're looking so hot." He said in a low muffled voice and huskily while biting my ear and I stopped struggling with fear.

"H-h--how d-i--d you come i-inside?" I asked stuttering and he chuckled.

"Ohh! My Tani, don't you know ? Still ? I can do whatever I want. That's how I made you again mine, just mine." and then he left me with a jerk and when I turned around and looked at him confused,

"W-wh-at do you mean?" I asked with fear,

"Pick up your phone." He said calmly, I can't believe this, how can he be so calm? I arched my eye brows questioningly and he said again,

"I said pick up your fucking phone." I trembled and with trembling hands, I quickly went towards dressing and was about to pick up when he snatched it from my hand, someone was still calling me, I don't know who? Cause he snatched from me before I could see anything, he accepted the call, grabbed me from my waist and pulled me towards his chest then he put my phone on my ear and asked me to,

"Speak."

"H-h-hello?" I asked stuttering on the phone, it was Hamza,

"Tani where are you, we're at the hospital, but Ghannu and guests are still at home---" Before he could say more, I asked,

"H-h-ospital?" I asked with shock and fear, Allah please save my family. I don't know what had happened, everything should be okay? Allah please.

"Yes, I called you to tell this, i don't know will he survive or not, he has been stabbed in his stomach and then thrown from his roof." I asked panicking,

"W--who, w-w-who?"

"Sami---" He sighed then said,

"Sami has been attacked by someone."

After hearing this the phone slipped from my hand which that devil caught in time and I quickly jerked his hands away from my waist, turned and slapped him right on his face.

"Y--y--o-u attacked h-h-im? R-r-ight?" I asked while crying and trembling with fear.

"W-why why did you do that?"

Now when he looked at me, with his one hand on his face, his those evil eyes were dark with anger more than before. If eyes could kill someone, I'd have been killed before.

Right when he pulled out a sharp butcher knife from his pocket with someone's blood on it and my eyes got wide with fear and realization that no one blood is on it except Sami. He started taking steps towards me with knife in his one hand, and when he grabbed me, pulled me towards him with his one hand on my waist, and one hand around knife, I felt it's my last day and with trembling lips, I just muttered these words,

"Allah! Help me."

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How was this chapter? This was long for you guys xD

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