"God will not permit any troubles to come upon us, unless He has a specific plan by which great blessing can come out of the difficulty." -Peter Marshall

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A/N: Heya, sweet readers and followers, hope you all are going well. :)

Thank you so much to those who are reading my story, specially to those who are giving their precious views, comments and those who are giving votes. :)

Special dedication to #Milk_and_Cookies for lovely comments ;) I really love your comments sweety :)

Please please do votes, comments please :)

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Tani's POV

'I love him.'

It was Friday evening, a cold evening of 1st December, the weather seemed like it could be raining at any moment. While drinking coffee, I confessed again what I've been thinking since last few days. Yes! I started loving him because there was no other reason behind my feelings for him. I know, it could be so soon, but that's true, it did happen and now there was no going back for me. For God's sake, I have changed, totally changed for someone? I mean-- I can't believe that I've changed my priorities, myself, my likes and dislikes for someone? But that was true, he changed me.

Changes in Me:

x. I started thinking about myself, my looks. (That's normal)

x. I started taking photos, selfies. (Big change)

x. I left flirting or talking with other guys. (Biggest)

x. I started laughing almost every time. (Big one, because I wasn't fond of doing that normally)

x. I started singing before him, before my friends, my family and before everyone. (Wow!)

x. I started thinking about ways to meet him. (Big step to take)

x. I started believing in 'LOVE'. (The biggest one)

I became a drug addict and my drug was 'HIM'. He became a sweet-drug for me, his voice, his words, his face, everything, now my life and death depended on him totally. I felt as if I was nothing without him. I felt incomplete if I spent even one day without talking to him and when I talk to him, it was like 'My Heart Is on Fire.'

You're the light, you're the night
You're the color of my blood
You're the cure, you're the pain
You're the only thing I wanna touch
Never knew that it could mean so much, so much

Every word of that song was defining my feelings for him. I started singing this song and feeling every word of it which was true, really true in my case. Rezay became my day, my night, my pain, my cure, my love, yes my love, I started loving him and I wanted him to love me, I wanted to touch him and wanted him to touch me. It's the first time that I wanted to be touch by someone and that someone was 'Him'.

You're the fear, I don't care
Cause I've never been so high
Follow me to the dark
Let me take you past our satellites
You can see the world you brought to life, to life

I really never knew that I could fall in love with someone. So much love, where this love was before in me, in my heart. My feelings started to grow with time, I could feel them becoming stronger and stronger day by day, I mean who could have fallen in love with an online friend, whom I'd never met? Also, after knowing that he was a play boy, heartbreaker, how could I love him? How could I make this big mistake? When I knew his darker side, still I fell for him? Why my heart breathe with his words? Why my eyes speaks his name? Why my words are not mine anymore? Now, I use his words, every time I speaks, his words came out of my mouth not my own. My every thinking became his, I think what he'd like to think. I speak what he'd like to speak. I asked him about every matter. His suggestion/advice became my action. I started doing every that thing which he liked.

I feel alive, when his words touch me, I became alive. Because of him, I've started enjoying my life. He became my light, my only light that wrenched me from the darkness that was inside me. Now I knew the meaning of that dream, that dream, that light, which was pulling me from the darkness towards itself, he was that light in my dream. I don't know, what I'd do without him.

So love me like you do, love me like you do
Love me like you do, love me like you do
Touch me like you do, touch me like you do
What are you waiting for?

He became the very first and last thing on my mind each and every day. And I want him to love me back as I love him. It happens, whenever you love someone, you want him or her to love you back, that's selfish, but yeah that's the truest feeling we got from love. We became selfish when it comes to our love. But I think, love never asks for selfishness. We can also live with our own love only, you love someone doesn't mean he/she should love you back. Everyone has their own choices, love is not something that you can force. Love comprises of true feelings for someone, one can't force somebody to feel something. But my heart repeatedly says, that I want him to love me. Yes, I want him to love me. But I'd accept his love, only when he'd really feel something for me, when he'd really love me.

"And when will that time come when he'd love you?" My subconscious asked me. But my answer was, 'I don't know, I really don't.' I can only hope, only hope that someday he'd surely love me.

And I'll always wait for him. I'll always be with him, no matter what until my death. I'll never leave his side, even if he'd not love me. Still, I would never ever leave him, because I believe in this,

"If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love." -Princess Diana

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It was raining when he texted me,

Rezay: "Hey?"

Me: "Hey!"

Rezay: "It's raining :D"

Me: "I know :)" I said smiling.

Rezay: "What were you doing? :)"

"Nothing was just thinking about you, my teddy." 'Teddy? Really Tani?' I wanted to say that but besides this, I said,

Me: "Nothing, was just enjoying my coffee and weather while sitting beside my window." Yeah that's what I was doing besides thinking about him. I was sitting beside the large window in my room, with my head resting on its railing.

Rezay: "Yum! I want to taste that coffee of yours! ;)" I know what he meant by that, he was flirting. He really knows, how to stop my heart beats, I bet he'd be smirking while saying that.

Me: "Yeah? ;) Inshaa Allah(If Allah wills it) someday you will surely taste it. ;)" I managed to smirk. Although he couldn't see me.

That's really amusing that even while texting you can smile, smirk, wink, make whatever face you want and feel, true feelings shows on your face. Even these simple and small texts make you feel lots of emotions.

Rezay: "Inshaa Allah! :)" I smiled at his reply.

Suddenly, it started raining heavily, that even one of my hand that was beside me but hanging out of the window became completely wet. I shouted with excitement and started typing quickly,

Me: "I am going for a bath in rain, it's raining so heavily, I'll ttyl. ;)" I waited for his reply but it never came, maybe he also went outside, thinking that I threw my cell phone on bed and ran towards staircase that was outside of my room that leads to the ground floor and to the lawn. So, after going down I quickly ran outside in the lawn.

When raindrops met my face, I felt tingling sensations throughout my body. I've always loved rain but never felt this amazing and different, but awesome feelings that I was having at that moment. Well, by the way, in Dubai, it never rained so much but from past few years due to some climatic changes, now most of the rainfall occurs, in between December to March. Although, the weather between December and March remains warm, but was considered to be the most comfortable climatic condition.

So, it was raining, Allah's blessing was falling on us. From the great blessings of Allah, one is the blessing of rain, in it there is life for the earth and plants, life for animals, and life for mankind. That's true, if it doesn't rain, one can't get water and our life is nothing without water, animals will die, they get water from rain and we use them for our purposes. If it doesn't rain, plants will die, from which we get oxygen for our living. Yeah, in every matter of life, we should thank our GOD, because whatever He does, He does right. Behind everything He has a plan, for our good.

When I enjoyed rain for about an hour while thinking all these things and when I started feeling cold, right at that moment my mom called out for me.

"Tani? Where are you?" My mom was shouting from inside of my house.

"Mommy, I'm here, here, outside, in the lawn." I called out but i thought in this noise of raindrops my voice will never reach to her ears. So I quickly got inside, fully damp. Water was falling from my clothes on the floor and right then I saw anger on my mom's face, when she turned around at my voice.

"Uh--Mommy, I-I-I was outside, I mean--in the lawn, I-I was enjoying rain." I started stuttering cause of the way she was staring at me, I could feel anger emanating from those big brown eyes. Actually, my mistake, I went outside without asking her and whenever it rains first time, in a year, she told me not to take bath in the 'first rain of a year', and also when it rains so heavily.

"Dry yourself, change your clothes then come back to me. Go!" She said with concern and anger filled voice.

"Yeah--- yeah, okay!" I quickly said smiling and sighed in relief.

On my way to stairs when I reached near her, I squeezed her hand giving her my best cheesy smile and went upstairs by jumping two stairs at once and when I reached inside of my room, first, I quickly took out dry towel from my closet and started drying my hands and hairs, then picked up my cell phone, opened it, and found message notifications on the screen.

3 New messages from Rezay.

I quickly opened them,

Rezay: "I wanna come with you for y'know... bath? ;)" Butterflies started to grow in my stomach on this message.

Another one,

Rezay: "Where are you? It has been an hour since you have vanished. :o" So he was concerned. I felt good that at least he thinks about me.

Another,

Rezay: "Do you always spend so much time in bathing? If you'd take more time, I swear, I will come there to join you. ;)" I laughed at this text, now butterflies in my stomach were jumping and tickling me.

I quickly replied,

"You don't need to come here, I am back. :D" I re-read his messages again and again and chuckled.

Beeep..

God, He is so quick.

Rezay: "So, when are you going for a second round--- with me? ;)" I laughed.

Me: "Oh, Anytime, just tell me when and where? ;)" I quickly typed smirking.

Rezay: "Ahan, if I say, now? ;)"

Me: "Your word my command, my lord. ;)" I was chuckling maniacally while typing that.

Rezay: "I know that you can do anything for me, my love.. :* ;)" He sent me a kissing emoticon, I started jumping up and down on the floor as if he'd kissed me in real.

Me: "Yeah right, You wish boy! ;)" I teased, although it was true that I can do anything for him, but I don't wanted to show him.

Rezay: "So, tell me the truth?" He asked, I got confused.

Me: "About what?"

Rezay: "That, what were you actually doing in the rain, why it took you so long to enjoy your bath? ;)" I know what he wanted to ask, this little-dirty-devil.

Me: "Nothing... I was just thinking and enjoying the raindrops. What do you think, I'd be doing? ;)" Now, it was my turn to ask.

Rezay: "Don't know exactly, maybe nude-dance. ;P"

Nude dance? Really? I started chuckling badly at this. Oh God, from where he got these words. I can't even---

Me: "Hahaha! You're so mad. How was I supposed to do this nude-dance in Lawn? I mean, it is outside of my house. Well, I can do that in my bathroom, if that were you expecting me to do. But let me clear that I don't do that in there either. ;)"

Rezay: "Whenever you wanna do that dance during bath, just inform me, I'd be there with you. ;)" I laughed again.

But felt another weird feeling and started imagining him with me in the shower during bath. This was the same feeling that I get whenever he played with me by his words. This was the point where my heart and I feel sudden need to be with him, in his arms, to be loved, to be kissed by him. Whereas, he don't leave any chance to flirt.

Me: "You are such a pervert. :P" I said frowning and laughing.

Rezay: "That's terrible, you got it so late. ;)" He agreed to be a pervert.

Beep.

Rezay: "By the way, you haven't send me your pics yet. I won't ask you again." Whoa! Sudden change in attitude? 

'Yeah? Because of your ego.' I thought rolling my eyes at his text.

Then I remembered that I have taken so many pictures to send him my best shot. But I forgot to send. So I quickly scroll up and down in my gallery and selected one, bestest, to send him. Before sending, I took deep breaths, again butterflies started jumping in my stomach making me nervous, then I finally pressed send option and sent it to him.

No reply came from him,

1 minute passed,

2 minute passed,

4,

6,

10 minutes passed.

"Why he is taking so long to reply?" I frowned.

Beep.

Rezay: "Nice pic. :)" I frowned at his reply.

Just nice pic? I wasn't expecting this reply. I started feeling bad, so bad, that I can't even tell. 'He didn't like me, he didn't like my pic.' I kept saying those words to no one in particular. Then, I typed something angrily.

Me: "Okay...? Thanks for your kindest reply, I gotta go. Bye!"

Rezay: "Bye? Wait, where you're going?"

Me: "I've to go to help my mother in the kitchen." I lied not looking directly at my phone as if I was avoiding his gaze.

Rezay: "So, what happened? Text me when you'll be free."

Me: "I won't! Bye Rezay!"

Rezay: "Why not?"

I didn't reply after his last text, why would I? I was so angry, what I'd say to him if I replied, that I am pissed because you said only two freaking-thankless words after seeing my fucking face. You didn't comment any more. I was about to throw my cell phone on the table when it beeped in my hand.

Rezay: "You are angry?"

Me: "Wasn't it obvious?"

Rezay: "But why?"

Me: "If you know that I am angry, then you'd surely know why I am." I said sarcastically.

Rezay: "Yes, I know. If you're angry on my comment, then.. That's all I could say. Don't expect too much from me."

Me: "You don't have to rub it in my face." Tears started forming in my eyes due to the pain his words were giving me.

Rezay: "Fatima, listen, I said the truth. I'm not into these things, I don't manipulate words, I just say what I truly think. If you want me to lie, then tell me, I'd lie for you."

I started feeling as if something broke in me. I typed,

Me: "Thank you, I don't need it, Bye!"

I slammed my phone beside me and cried. I was right, and he didn't like me, he didn't like my face. My heart broke into million pieces. I was feeling so much pain that I can't decipher. His words were continuously echoing in my head the whole night. My whole night went crying and fighting with myself. That's how my day was going to end? I enjoyed, laughed, now I was crying, 'Bittersweet day'? I cried and cried, so much that I forgot my mom had called me. Also, I couldn't go in front of her with that flushed face and swollen eyes, so I didn't go. I didn't even bother to change in dry pair of clothes, just laid on my bed and while crying, I don't know when I fell asleep.

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A/N: Long long long chapter ever, enjoyed it guys. Don't throw vegetables, fruits, slippers or anything on me for making them fight and making her to cry, but it happens.

When you are in so much love with someone, you fight with that one, also you cry for that person.

It is just starting, wait for more to come. ;)

Don't be sad, happy moments will also come.:)

Please do votes, comments please.

xxLovexx

-Fatima.