P.S: Happens before Ignihyde and Diasomnia arc because they have not come out by the time this story was written.

Cross-posted on Tumblr under the name @/faudreysut

"Ah, yes, come in!" [name] says cheerily, allowing the newspaper club to enter Ramshackle.

"It's a bit dusty, huh?" One of the student's comments, walking in.

"Thank you for having us~ Where will we be hosting this interview?" Another asks, looking around the 'lobby' area as they take off their shoes.

"In the living room. I hope that's okay." [name] smiles, leading them in. "Oh, and Grim's going to be with us, so he'll speak from time to time. I hope you don't mind."

The students dismiss [name]'s concern. "It's ok-ay~ Grim's cute anyway, so if anything, it makes this interview better!"

[name] nods at their enthusiasm, smiling. "Grim, it's interview time!"

"Fggna! I bet they want to know all about the Great Grim!" Grim flexes, stretching on the couch.

"Yes, yes~" [name] teases, heading towards the kitchen to bring out the snacks they've prepared. The Newspaper Club sets up their equipment as [name] does so, Grim occasionally asking about the bits and bobs they brought.

"Okay, it's all set." The cameraman states, giving his crewmates a thumbs up.

"I'm ready too~" [name] hums, sitting on the couch, Grim climbing onto their lap.

"Everyone else ready?" The newspaper club director asks.

"Yes!" They shout unanimously.

"Okay, lights, camera, action!"

Interviewer: Hello, dear viewers! On today's segment on 'Speak the Truth,' we're here with the magicless student from another world and their companion-

Grim: I ain't no companion, they're the companion!

Interviewer: -...and their companion, the Great Grim, but the focus is more on [Name]. Would you like to introduce yourselves?

[Name]: Mhmm. Hello, my name is [Name] from Ramshackle Dorm, Class 1-A number 13. This is the Great Grim, he helps me around the campus. Well, I help him more than he helps me.

Grim: That ain't true! The Great Grim doesn't need any help!

Interviewer: You two sound close.

[Name]: Considering he's been with me ever since that coffin incident, I'd say we are.

Interviewer: Before we jump in, as usual, we'd like you to drink this truth potion so that our reports come out of nothing but the truth.

[Name]: Sure!

[Name] and Grim drinks the vial given by an off-screen hand.

Interviewer: Okay, now let's start the interview! Are you ready?

[Name]: Yup~

Interviewer: Question 1, how has it been surviving here?

[Name]: It's been hard, and Crowley doesn't help, giving me odd jobs and things that aren't my business. And, he doesn't give me the proper amount of money for 1 month. The allowance he gives me only allows me to like, survive for 2 weeks at most! Gracious, my ass!

Interviewer: Ara, that's quite some strong feelings towards the Headmaster.

[Name]: Hmm, but at least I got friends I can lean on now. Jack, Deuce, Ace... I'm glad they've got my back. It makes surviving here a bit easier.

[Name]: Sorry, to defer from my rant- what happened to me was... pretty cool. Like, I'm just a regular teenager doing my business when suddenly, bam! I now live in an abandoned house with a talking cat and magical people. Doesn't that sound like something out of a fantasy story?

Interviewer: Aah, I guess you could think of it that way.

[Name]: I think it's cool if you think of it that way. Well, the overblots that occur aren't so cool, but I guess going to school with hormonal teenagers comes with its sense of problems. I mean, high school is tough, so I can't blame them.

[Name]: But I am grateful that I got food on my plate and a roof over my head. I mean, Crowley could've kicked me out and I could be in a completely different situation. I guess you gotta take what you can.

Interviewer: Speaking of overblots, how do you overcome every overblot? Because it seems to be, that in every OB that has happened, you and Grim seem to help, in some way, shape, or form. Can you shed light on that?

[Name]: Honestly, I don't know how I'm still alive- like, I'm telling y'all, these OB's ain't it like it was fucking scary when I saw Riddle OB. I thought I was going to die.

Grim: It because ya keep on sticking' yer' head into other people's things!

[Name]: I can't help it, problems just seem to gravitate towards me. Oh yeah, I was thinking about it last night, and Grim and I agree that we both seem to be therapists.

Interviewer: What do you mean?

[Name]: Well, if you look at the things Crowley is making us do- go to Heartslabyul to fix a problem between 2 mates, go to Octavinelle to help with some student who doesn't want to go to school, or is having a fight with their parents- it all seems like therapist things to do, and it- it confuses me.

Grim: Fggna, and it's hard 'ta do because people here are stubborn.

[Name]: Extremely stubborn, which makes it harder for me to solve the problems if you get me. Oh, but to answer your question; I went on a bit of a rant, oops; uh, I guess it's just luck, a little bit of good planning, and having good people back you up. Summed up, I think that's how most OB encounters go.

Grim: And we gotta kick ass!

[Name]: And we have to kick ass. Hmm, I just pick up the nearest heavy item and bash the OB'd person. For example, uhm, in Azul-san's case I had to take a plant from the Octavinelle roots, and just throw it to Azul as hard as I can. Sometimes Grim and I team up to fight, but sometimes it's easier fending for ourselves. Depends on the situation, I guess.

Interviewer: That must take a toll on your body.

[Name]: It does! That's why I'm trying to exercise more, just in case something like this happens- which always appears to happen. Nowadays, I exercise with my friends, so I can fight better. I think it'll help. Maybe, I dunno LOL. Grim just chill at home, though.

Interviewer: Okay, then. Other than exercise, what do you do in your spare time?

[Name]: Well, if I ever get time off, which is a rare occurrence because (a) Crowley's always making us do odd jobs, (b) We're doing jobs because Crowley doesn't give us money, or (c) these dumbasses always get themselves in trouble, then I would be taking photos. It's a fun way for me to relax and I get to shoot these cool shots with Grim. He's an excellent model.

Grim: 'Course I am! I'm the best at anythin' I do.

[Name]: You sure are.

Interviewer: I see. Next, onto the next question, and this one is for Grim. What, in your opinion, is the hardest OB you had to tackle?

Grim: Well, nothing gets past me so easily, but... I guess it's Leona's OB. The dude makes everythin' he touches into the sand! It was hard to throw stuff at him cause he's always makin' them into the sand.

[Name]: But we had Deuce, Ace, Lilia-san.. just plenty of people to get us out, so I think we did fine on that front.

Interviewer: You seem to bring up your friends often.

[Name]: Well yeah, they help me a lot! I think I would genuinely, be dead if I didn't have them with me. This includes you Grim, don't look so sad.

Grim: I ain't looking sad! 'Yer seein' things!

[Name]: As an added bonus, they're cute, too!

Interviewer: Ahah, this leads on VERY well to our next small segment. In honor of Valentine's day, we're having a section where we ask you 14 love-related questions

[Name]: Ah~ sounds good to me~

Interviewer: Oh, you're more submissive than I thought, good!

[Name]: Submissive?

Interviewer: It's nothing. Valentine's question number 1! Who do you love most in this world?

[Name]: Grim. And, my parents too.

Grim: Fggna-!

[Name]: Aww, you're red, Grim!

Grim: I-I'm not! The Great Grim isn't embarrassed about things like that! I'm out!

*Grim leaves the 'studio'.

[Name]: Well... um, I suppose it's just me, then. Again, as I said, Grim's always been with me, so while he is a bit of a menace, he's a cute furball that I can count on.

Interviewer: Q.2, who's the second closest placed in your heart?

[Name]: Obviously, Deuce, Ace, Jack. They've helped me out of most situations that I've been put through, and I couldn't be more grateful for that. Of course, there are some moments where they piss me off, but for the most part, they're great people, and I'm glad I know them.

Interviewer: Oho, how sweet~! Question 3, how do you feel about Valentine's?

[Name]: Well, it's... the concept- it's a nice concept, being able to convey your love in a more... what's the word, uh, like, 'out there' way? I don't know how to explain it, but I like the concept. Unfortunately, for single people, it's also a pain in the ass being surrounded by lovey-dovey couples. I swear if I see another fucking post about being in love with your S.O for this amount of time, I will- actually, I don't know what I'll do, but I'll do something. Oh, also chocolate is way more expensive and Azul keeps on trying to bank on this event and it kinda sucks because Monstro Lounge has the best chocolate- my opinion, don't quote me on that- but I didn't know Valentine's was also celebrated in this world so I forgot to buy the chocolates early on...

Interviewer: How unfortunate. It feels really bad when that happens.

[Name]: It does, doesn't it?! I feel sad now, damn...

Interviewer: Ah ah, to lift your spirits, question 4 says 'Where do you think is the best spot to take someone on a date?'

[Name]: I'd say a home date is the best. You're already comfy at home and you're comfy with the person you like! You can cook, talk, dance, a lot of things! I'd love to have a home date.

Interviewer: Oh, have you ever been on a date before?

[Name]: No, sadly. I know as Ortho would say, 'There's a difference in data that is on the market for teenagers.' Hah, I guess I'm not appealing? I mean, I'm definitely less cute than the other dudes I've seen here, but like.. gimme a chance? LMAO, I don't know dude.

Interviewer: You seem to reference the boys here as 'cute'. Does that happen to be your type?

[Name]: Hmm, that's kind of a hard question. The way I see it is cute guys, or girls, or non-binaries, or whatever gender you feel comfortable with are easier to approach. Because like... uhm, hmm... take- take Leona-san, and like... Epel-kun for instance.

The majority of people I think sees Leona as sexy, or hot, right, and Epel as cute. It's easier to take Epel out on a date because he's easier to approach, while Leona is a little harder because he has this sexy vibe and stuff. But then again...

Interviewer: But then again?

[Name]: But then again, people who are sexy can be cute, and cute people can be sexy. It's... it's a difficult thing to grasp.

Interviewer: What do you mean?

[Name]: Cause like, there are different like, gaps of cuteness? Hmmph, how do I say it...

Interviewer: Maybe, start with the people you know?

[Name]: Oh, good idea! Then, I'll work it through dorm by dorm.

(lads, this is just a simp shit post, I'm sorry)

Ace is this cocky, kind of jerk where you want to punch his face, but at the same time, this sort of cockiness he has is cute, and I just... I wanna hug him and squish his cheeks and kiss him. So, there's a half-sexy half-cute kinda thing going on.

Deuce is totally a cutie. Like, he wants to be a model student, and he wants to be a nice person to his mom and he gets embarrassed really easily! But then, there's that side to him where he goes all delinquent mode and that's kinda hot!

Cater... Cater-senpai is a hard one because he has the vibes of a chill senpai you'd wanna hang out with, but at the same time he can pull these looks on Magicam that make you blush, you know?

Trey-senpai is definitely the sexy type. From the surface, he has an older-brother type of deal going on but the more you start talking to him- actually, one time I almost fell on some paint and he caught me

Interviewer: Ooh~

[Name]: Yeah and he looked so cool doing it- I wanted to fall again just to see his face HAH-

Anyways, um, Riddle-senpai. Now, in popular opinion, he's scary, but, and I'm going to die saying this, I think Riddle's fucking cute. His cheeks puff up when he's angry and his ahoge moves according to his reactions- and the WAY he EATS his SWEETS?!?! Have you seen that?! Like bro, I- I could cry out of happiness just looking at the face.

Interviewer: Is that all for Heartslabyul? That's a lot of feelings.

[Name]: It is! But I got MORE stored up in this heart of mines that I couldn't express.

Leona is obviously a sexy, sexy man. Like, it has been established that he's got good looks. Too bad he's an asshole, but whatever. When he plays Magicshift- mhmm, WOW.

Ruggie is kinda like Cater, in a sense he walks the cute and sexy line, cause you can either see his snickering as like a cute thing or a sexy thing, but like, it's there, you know?

Jack. Jack. JACK IS SO CUTE AND I have to rave about it. Dude, he gave me a shelter to stay in when Azul's OB was going on and was like 'But it's not like I like you or anything!' what is that tsundere behavior hello?! Also, he's just a nice person that pretends that he isn't, but he is, and that makes him extra cute. Of course, he's also hot based on his looks but if you go further, then it's all just- just moe-moe Kyun, like- ahh.

Interviewer: It seems like somebody has personal biases~

[Name]: Eh, really? I don't know. Eh, whatever.

Azul and Jade... I think I can lump them together because they seem like the type to look really mysterious and sexy and stuff, but as time goes on and you become closer, you get glimpses of their cute and vulnerable selves, if you get me? Yeah.

Floyd... Floyd is a tough cookie. Personally, I'd be fucking terrified, but I kind of get it in that his off-swing mood can be cute- like maybe he constantly jumps on you because he really likes you and you dig the physical contact, I mean the man has a ton of duality, so.

Interviewer: Fufufu, I think I can gauge your opinion on Scarabia.

[Name]: Ah, you can?

Interviewer: They're total opposites, like the sun and moon. Am I right?

[Name]: Yup~ precisely.

Kalim's the fucking sun, confirmed because every time I look at him~ my eyes burn and I need some sunglasses to block out the pure sunrays that blast me~ He has an infectious energy that makes you giddy just looking at him, so yeah.

Jamil's a sexy, sexy snake. Like, you can't tell me that this is a lie because it's not. When he sang-bro, my heart went 'BADUMDUMDADADUM'. No, actually, his entire voice makes me feel that way. Damn, he- he should take that to his advantage because dude, he sounds so sexy, like- mhm!

Interviewer: I wonder how feel about Pomefiore? Of course, dorm leader Vil is fabulous, as he always is.

[Name]: I agree. Vil is so fucking pretty, I cried when I first saw him.

Interviewer: Really?!

[Name]: It's true! You can insert a clip of me crying here because I was sobbing like a fucking mad man.

Sorry like, Vil is super pretty, but I dunno.. I'm a little intimated approaching someone like that because it makes you feel like you have no chance with him, you know? I mean, I guess the best thing I can do is make him step on me, which makes me pretty happy.

Next, Rook Hunt! Hmm... he's a... he's a difficult one, alright. He's hot, but like, he's kinda creepy, so I guess to be attracted to him you HAVE to have a certain type that you're ALREADY attracted to, you know?

Now I know I'm going to contradict myself, but Epel is... is kinda hot, man. Did you see how fucking cool he looked with that motorcycle? Sir??? I demand answers??? How can someone look so cute, but then have this hot, kinda badass look, like- my guy, he has the duality of Floyd, like- oh my god.

Interviewer: Ah, since you haven't met the Ignihyde dorm leader, how do you feel about that?

[Name]: Well, I have limited experience, but Idia seems like the typical gamer boyfriend you want. He's good at games, he has a big sweater you can probably fit your whole body in... those types of cliches.

I refuse to believe that I can date Ortho because... he seems really young and that's kinda weird... also he's a robot. Do robots have feelings? I don't know...

Interviewer: How about... no, nevermind.

[Name]: Ah, Tsunotaro? Well- I'm going to have Sebek SCREAM in my ear I KNOW it, but TSUNOTARO IS A CUTE GUY AND HE HAS TO BE APPRECIATED AS ONE! Excuse me, he fucking likes ice cream and plays with his tomogachi! If you don't think that's cute, like I'm sorry, you have poor taste. No cap, that's just the truth.

Lilia-san... he has this goth daddy vibe to him that's pretty fucking cool. He looks cute from the inside, but I feel as if he's got a few sneaky tricks to make you fall for him that's NOT in a cute sense if you feel me.

Silver... you know, I wonder he doesn't have a last name, but that's unrelated, sorry, um... his muscles are big if you're into that. Bro, I saw him across the fucking PE field, and those arms stood out so much I just stared at it during that class. Couldn't get Mr. Vargas to snap me out of my haze.

I feel like Sebek's a simp-

Interviewer: Pardon, what's a simp?

[Name]: Ah, it's slang from back home. It means you really like-like someone, and so you got a crush on them.

Interviewer: Ahh///

[Name]: So yeah, I think Sebek's a simp for Tsunotaro, but asides from that, I think the fact that he yells is a bit cute. Like, can you imagine him going 'HUMAN, WHY AREN'T YOU TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF?!' as he throws a bottle of water at you- he's SCREAMING self-care into you, and that in itself is cute, in a way.

Interviewer: ...you seem to have plenty of opinions about this. I'd love to talk more, but unfortunately, the potion is about to run out, and consuming it again would take a toll on your health, so we'll have to cut this short.

[Name]: Ah~? Eh, what a shame. It was really fun rambling, though!

Interviewer: It was a pleasure listening to you. Then, this is the end of our weekly series, 'Speak the Truth'. Thank you for listening or watching, and see you next week!

[Name]: Bye~