Previously

"Promise you'll go out next week?"

"I..."

"Yes or no?"

"Fine, promise," I reluctantly give in.

'Well, dammit. I just made a promise I have to keep.'

"Good. Even if you're staying home, please don't lock yourself in your room all day," he stops himself just before the doorway, "And lunch is downstairs, so come down when you're ready."

He exits the room, leaving the door open for me later.

"What am I going to do without you, (Y/N)?"

Now

(Y/N)'s POV

I don't know how long I can keep this up for.

It's only been a few days and I'm holding onto life by a single thread. It's like, at any moment, it could slip out of my grasp and I could give into the bottomless abyss below me. But it does seem a lot easier to just let go than to keep holding on.

That day... It all happened so fast that my brain couldn't process the situation. Then the sudden boost in excitement on the next few cuts. I don't exactly know how to feel about it. It shouldn't be normal!

In my sleep, I tossed and turned all night. Nightmares and flashbacks are driving me insane in my head and I can't escape them. It's like a pointless game of cat and mouse, except I'm the mouse trying to escaping unsuccessfully.

I woke up with a start, smelling the odor of blood around me. I painfully reach for my phone and turn on the flashlight to see dried bloodstains on my sleeves and a few droplets of the metallic-smelling substance on the blanket and bedsheets.

All through that night, while I tossed and turned, I must have opened up some wounds. But I didn't think that I'd bleed this much. Did I cut too deep or something?

'Awesome. Absolutely amazing.'

'That's disgusting.'

"Hmm..."

I force myself to get out of bed to tend to my wounds. I just hope that the stains on my sleeves, blanket, and bedsheets would go away with bleach.

"What am I going to do without you, PJ?"

* * * * * *

Honestly, it's a bit ironic how fast I want to just end it all right now.

Barely a month ago, I was still happy and jovial. Well, look how fast that smiled turned upside down with just one or two slips.

Everyone is just leaving...

And who can blame them?

I know I'm not worth their time. Maybe I used to, but definitely not anymore.

I know that there would only be a small handful of monsters who would truly miss me. Even so, they won't worry themselves too much.

Through the last week of January, I've only had one thing on my mind.

'It's okay to give up,' she encourages me.

I do want to. But I just can't bring myself to it. Every time I try, I end up chickening out.

But now, I know what and how to do it. I just need to find the right time...

* * * * * *

"M-Mr. Mettaton, m-may I use the b-bathroom...?" I gently raise my hand and quietly peep out.

"Of course, darling. But please be quick."

I stuff my hands in my hoodie pocket and walk out of the auditorium. In my pocket, I can feel five things. Four out of five are on paper. The last object, well, you'll find out soon.

I find the girls' bathroom. If it's not empty, my plan would go down the drain. Lucky for me, it is.

This time, I can't avoid the mirrors. I stare at myself for a solid minute, nitpicking at everything wrong with my face. But the most noticeable changes were the messy hair, I haven't brushed it last night or this morning, and dark circles, making me look like I haven't slept in a decade.

I take the first two papers out of my pocket. One note is from PJ. The other is from Frisk. It's the last that I have of them.  No matter how much they could and did hurt me, I'd still give then a second chance. And if they don't want me on this planet, so be it.

The third piece of paper I take out is a small photograph. The exact one I gave Ms. Avery a month back. We were so happy when we took that photo. And look at us now. One of us deceased and another ready to take her own life.

I put these memories aside on the counter into a neat little pile.

The last piece of paper. A suicide note. I read it over to make sure it was understandable since my brain could write a bunch of gibberish and I wouldn't know.

Dear whomever reads this note,

By the time you read this, I'll most probably be gone already. But please, don't worry about me. I'll be in a better place soon, so don't try to save me.

I know some monsters and people may feel guilty that they haven't "given it their all" but, I assure you, no one did anything wrong. This is my decision and my decision only.

Please know that everyone around me has given me the happiest life I could ever ask for. However, happiness doesn't last forever. I don't know how much longer I can take feeling "just sad".

So, I'll be going now. If this world is only full of hate and death, then I don't want to be here anymore.

Goodbye and sorry I had to leave so early.

Yours truly,
(Y/N) (L/N)

PS Final notes

PJ, even if I may be gone, know that my love will never fall short. I know you'll find someone better than me, alright? Take care of yourself.

Frisk, what can I say except I'm sorry? I dragged you into a mess that I couldn't fix. I truly am sorry for the things I did that hurt you. I know you'll find a better friend than me. Take care of yourself, okay?

I put the note on the sink counter next to the others with just my fingertips touching the surface and look at the corner of the mirror.

'You ready?'

I nod gravely and take the last object from out of my pocket. A knife? No. A rope? No. A small bottle full of capsules. Yes.

As I take them out of my pocket, the little happy pills shake and rattle inside the bottle. I stare at the bottle in hand and tears start trickling down my face.

Way to make me feel bad about going away.

I wipe my face with my arm, forgetting that I have a few fresh cuts there from this morning. They sting, but it's okay.

I pop open the bottle and the cap lands on the floor, spinning around a few times before falling flat. I carefully tip the bottle over and a single capsule rolls into my palm.

'Well?'

"No going back now..." I mutter to myself, dry swallowing the pill.

I tip the bottle over again and gulp down a second one.

"The daily dose will only be one, two at most. We do not advise more."

'Keep going.'

I started with half a bottle of pills and end up with less than one fourth.

My vision starts to blurry and I lean on the ceramic-tiled wall. It's cold in contrast to my sweating body. I guess you can say it was soothing in a way.

The overdose effect is almost immediate. As my legs start to give out, I slowly slide down the wall and end up tucking my knees to my chest. My arms also give out as I drop the bottle, the remaining contents inside spilling out onto the hard, tiled floor.

I can't tell if I'm breathing or, for the matter, if my heart is even beating anymore. But, I smile despite it all.

"I-It's what I w-wanted..." I wheeze, trying to convince myself, "Why do I-I feel s-so bad all of a-a sudden...?"

I try to suppress my choked cries as my smile slowly turns into a pained expression. I can feel my body give up on me and every organ shutting down, one by one.

I am exhausted, but, in one motion, I manage to reach up onto the sink counter and slid the two notes and one photo down to me. I stare at the photograph in my hands, remembering that time.

We were at the cherry blossom tree clearing on the outskirts of town in the Spring. We spent that beautiful afternoon exploring the town and then going there to relax.

"I-I'll see you a-again, Ms. A-Avery," I crack a smile through my tears.

My peripheral vision starts to darken and I watch as everything fades into black.

* * * * * *

Skate's POV

A few of my group members are on stage performing the given script while someone else and I are standing backstage, minding a few technical things.

"Mr. Mettaton, may I use the bathroom after?" I quietly ask.

He looked a bit uncertain, "Yes, you may, darling. And while you're there, could you please check up on (Y/N)? She's been gone for ten minutes."

"Okay, I will. Thank you, Mr. Mettaton."

After a few more minutes, my group mates finish up the skit and we all get off the stage.

I glance over at Mr. Mettaton, who gives me a thumbs-up, and I make my way to the bathroom.

I really haven't been talking to (Y/N) lately and I know I should've, but I didn't. PJ needed us and we couldn't leave him behind. As for (Y/N), I know she probably regrets her decision to cheat and break up. But, unlike PJ, she doesn't have many others who can look after her.

I really need to talk it out with her.

When I make it to the bathroom, the sight in front of me causes me to freeze in place.

There she is, on the floor, head titled back and knees tucked into herself. Just out of reach of her left arm is a photograph of some sort and two pieces of paper. On her right side is a spilled bottle of what it appears to be pills of some sort.

I stand there for a few seconds before springing into action.

I gently tap her cheek and call her name in a panicked tone, "(Y/N)? (Y/N)!?"

No response at all. She seems totally unconscious.

I quiet down and check her pulse, simultaneously listening for the sound of breathing. I can't hear any audible breathing, but I can feel a weak pulse from her wrist!

She's still alive!

I forget my original objective and bolt out of the bathroom back to the auditorium. I may have scared everyone in the room the second I pull open the door.

"Mr. Mettaton, we need to call an ambulance right now!" I scream without thinking. My friend's life is on the line and I can't afford to waste any time by not being straightforward.

Everyone turns to look at me. I can a few stares of fear, looks of confusion, and expressions saying "She's gone insane!"

Mr. Mettaton eyes me with a mixture of fear and confusion on his face, "Darling, what is wrong?"

My body shakes and my voice breaks, "(Y/N) committed suicide in the bathroom!"

~A/N~
Again, as I said in the other chapter
PLEASE talk to someone if you have suicidal thoughts
It may be a family member, close friend, someone else you trust, or even the suicide hotline
There are people who genuinely want to help you and you need to know that you are not alone
On another note,

Even if school just started for me, I'll still do my best to update at least once a week
My schedule is still very wonky and I hope you guys can forgive me for that ^^'

Word count: 2010 words (including A/N)

*nopes out*