Previously

I tilt my head slightly down as he pulls me closer into his chest. I can hear the rhythmic beat of his soul. It's soothing and steady, making it a sort of meditative and melodic.

He continues to murmur more words of encouragement, but they get drowned out by his soul beat. I don't know when I've really drifted off, but the last thing I hear is,

"Sweet dreams, Angel Eyes. Love you."

Now

It's been two weeks since then. Like any other day, I spend some time just staring at the heart-shaped urn placed on a stand on the shelf. A silver heart keepsake with the words "Forever in my heart" is etched into it.

We couldn't plan, let alone, afford to hold a funeral. So we paid to get her cremated. Now, she is just a pile of ashes on my bedroom shelf. Fun.

I take around ten minutes debating whether or not I should even get up from bed. I could stay inside with her or go to school to get "good" grades. And like any other day, I always force myself to go.

I drag myself out of bed and slide on some clothes. I couldn't be bothered by what I wear anyway. I shuffle over to the bathroom and do my routine.

The girl in the mirror looks worse every day. Her hair sticks out in weird places and the bags under her eyes start to really show. She looks so exhausted and tired of people. And she is me.

I walk downstairs sluggishly and take my medication quickly. The feeling is no longer refreshing or giving me the fuzzy "happiness." But it doesn't matter anyway.

I grab an apple from the fruit basket, biting into it. Just as I'm about to leave to pack up, Mr. Error stops me.

"(Y/N)? Would you mind sitting down? We need to discuss a few things."

I stop in my tracks and reluctantly join them at the table, doing my best to pay attention, with only a little bit of success.

At first, their sentences seem blurred and uninterpretable. It's all just jumbled up words. But I quickly snap out of my trance when they mention something about a will.

"In her will, she put you as the owner of her property. Unfortunately, since you are still a minor, the ownership goes to your legal guardians, us. However, we want to give you a choice on what to do with the property, keeping it or selling it."

Without any hesitation, I blurt out my answer, "Sell it."

"You sure you want to make a decision so quickly?"

I nod my head, "W-We wouldn't have a use f-for it anymore."

'And if I go back there, it'll haunt me forever...'

"That's true. Alright, I guess we're selling it. You can get the rest of your belongings and we'll complete the paperwork by Saturday."

"Okay, I-I just hope you don't mind m-me staying here..."

"No, not at all!"

"A-Anything else you need to tell me?"

"No, we don't, thankfully. Now, get ready for school. You don't want to be late."

"Okay," I stand up from my seat and head to my bedroom, continuing to munch on my half-finished apple. On my way, PJ is putting his shoes on, "The others are outside, by the way. We'll wait for you."

I nod my head and keep going. When I get up, I slide on a jacket and put on my backpack.

'Oh, crap.'

I quickly grab a tissue and put it over my mouth as I spit up the familiar liquid. It takes me a few minutes to make sure that I prevent any potential choking. After I'm relatively calm, I feel my eyes water and my nose run. I grab another tissue and wipe them away, so I wouldn't look like such a mess. I couldn't care in the slightest about what I look like. But if others see how terrible I look, they'd get worried.

I sniffle once more before taking in a deep breath and meeting the other outside. I throw away my apple, which is three quarters done, and open the front door.

They greet me with their usual hellos and we start walking.

It's much quieter than normal. They must be able to sense my negativity. In an attempt to break the stupidly awkward silence, I start a conversation.

"Are you g-guys planning on switching any classes f-for the second semester?"

Skate is the first to speak up, but my brain starts to drown out any noise. It's like words are coming in from one ear and out the other.

I can't focus on anything...and my vision is playing tricks on me again. I resist the urge to stumble from my spinning head with a little bit of success. PJ seemed to notice how doozy I was getting, so he let me lean on him while we walk.

'What would I do without you...?'

When we get to school, I sigh in annoyance. Another tortuous day ahead of me. Here I come.

* * * * * *

I couldn't pay attention in class no matter how much I tried.

At the lunch table, I rest my elbows on the table and bury my face in my hands. I groan as my resentment towards myself slowly builds up.

'Why can't you act normal like the others?'

'Shut up, Inverse. I don't have the patience to talk right now.'

We continue to bicker in my head as I desperately try to shove her away. But the feeling of someone's hand on my shoulder snaps me out of the unnecessary argument.

I look up to meet PJ's worried face, "Sorry, are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, sorry," I lie through my teeth. It's easier to avoid explanations.

"How about I take you someplace after school? To try and take your mind off things," he offers with a slight smile.

I nod hesitantly. It's not like I'm spending my time after school doing anything productive anyway.

"I'll tape a note to your locker at the end of the school day. Locations and details will be in there, alright?"

I nod again. Hopefully, some time with PJ would help me shake off whatever negativity is radiating off of me.

A small ding comes from my hoodie pocket. I reach in to get my phone and open it up. A text from Fresh. I glance over at his table, which is next to ours, to see him staring at his phone and typing.

90s Skele:
Hey (Y/N)

Me:
Hey

90s Skele:
You look kinda down these past few days
You okay?

Me:
I do?
Sorry
Something unexpected came up

90s Skele:
Are you okay?
Do you want to talk about it face to face after school?

Me:
Sorry PJs taking me somewhere after school

90s Skele:
Awww thats okay
But in case you want to talk Im just a few texts away

Me:
Yea
Thanks Fresh

90s Skele:
Not a problem

I look over one more time to see him continuing to text but not to me. Must be someone else.

I sigh and put my phone away. I put my head down in an attempt to relieve my out-of-nowhere pounding headache.

* * * * * *

The last few periods were...weird, to say the least. I've picked up on some rumors going around again and it's about my relationship with PJ. What is it with gossiping about others behind their backs? I'll just never understand certain peo- err, monsters.

People are whispering something about cheating. Normally, I wouldn't get paranoid with rumors like these, but, I am so on edge these past few days, I couldn't help myself.

The story goes that PJ cheated on me with Bunny, which wouldn't make any sense by itself. He really, really dislikes her. Then, I supposedly found out and started cheating too. This time, with...Frisk?? Who came up with this rumor? This is stupid.

Deciding that the rumor had way too many holes in it, I forced myself to ignore them.

I need to go find that note.

Just as he said, the note is folded up neatly and taped onto the door of my locker. I put away my books first and then, unfold it to expect to see a location and time. But...it's not...

Dear (Y/N)

I've made a mistake. One that's too big to fix.

I let my emotions run wild and heart wander too much. And now, here I am.

There's no easy way to say this, but I can't keep doing this. I can't keep pretending to love you anymore. You're already not feeling great and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm selfish. But I have to leave you before this gets too out of hand for when I really break you.

I'm choosing to write this note because I don't have the courage to face you. Stupid, right? Sorry.

My last words are

Sorry and Goodbye

From,
Paperjam

I crinkle the edges of the paper and bite down on my lip, hard enough to draw a few drops of blood.

I put a hand on my head and squeeze my eyes shut. My mind spirals out of control.

"Watch it!"

"What are we doing, nerd?"

"...good night...(Y/N)."

"You know you don't have to be so uneasy around me, right?"

"I know we got off on the wrong foot, but I really do hope you get better."

"It's not a problem. It's what friends do right?"

"I'm so sorry. I just couldn't hold back and it felt perfect and I just...ruined everything..."

"Before you say anything, damn! You're smoking!"

"(Y/N), you can't blame yourself for this."

"As long as you're with me, I'll do everything in my power to make you feel safe and secure."

"I promise I'll never cheat on you. I don't usually make promises...but I'll keep this one. Just for you."

"I wouldn't want to love another girl. Because I only want to love you."

'He broke the promise...'

"Hah.." I laugh in desperation, trying to get ahold of the situation.

'No. He couldn't have.'

"Hah...hah..a.." I open my eyes again, seeing, a black smoke-like texture clouding around my vision.

'He can't.'

"Ha..ah..." It's like darkness is swallowing me whole.

'He didn't. No no no.'

"Hah...ha..hahahaha..." The sound of shattering glasses rings in my ear and the feeling of my soul being ripped to shreds like a piece of paper hurts like hell.

'He did!' Inverse shouts, snapping me back into reality.

I blink a few times as the black subsidies from my vision and droplets of tears fall. I slam the locker door and stuff the tear-stained note in my pocket. The pain in my soul is causing me to gasp for air. It hurts so much more than the first time, where I was sent to the hospital. I resist the urge to throw up blood and walk out of the school.

It's raining outside. Just my luck!

I flip my hood over my head and start running home if I can even call it that. I don't want anything to do with him right now. I need to find somewhere else to escape.

My first thought is the river and cherry blossom tree. But, knowing that that place is only temporary until I return to the house, my mind goes to the second idea.

"In her will, she put you as the owner of her property."

That place may haunt me forever, but it's better than my current situation.

I call Mr. Ink to ask them about it. However, I make sure to steady my voice to mask the crying, urge to throw up, and pain.

"M-Mr. Ink."

"(Y/N), is something wrong?"

"No, n-nothing at all," I lie, "B-But you know how I s-said we should sell t-the property this m-morning?"

"Yes. What about it?"

"Could I u-um change my m-mind?"

"(Y/N), if this is about feeling guilty for living with us, yo-"

"No, no, no, no. It's n-not that," I pause to think of a good reason for moving out, "I-I just...want some m-more space to m-myself..?"

I kick myself mentally for the stupid reason and how I made it sound more as a question than a statement.

After some more convincing, Mr. Ink finally decides to let me go. They would be paying for all house expenses until I turn 18 in about a month. After that, I would need to help pay a portion of the monthly expense.

Thank God for their generosity and pure kindness. Now, I have an extremely good deal for housing. All that's left to do is actually pack all my stuff.

I enter the house, dizzy, in pain, and soaking wet, and get started immediately. I don't have much time before PJ comes back and I'd rather not interact with him.

I snatch the duffle bag from the back of the closet before beginning to stuff my things in there with tears in my eyes.

* * * * * *

After 45 minutes of nonstop packing, the room is back the way it was a few months ago and my duffle bag and backpack are packed to the brim. The only thing that still belongs to me in the room is her urn. It's too fragile to just stuff it somewhere. I'll just carry it over.

I fall to my knees and let out the last of my tears. Through the whole process, tears have been slowly streaming down my face. Now, I feel stiff and exhausted, but I know I don't have much time left.

I take out a piece of paper from my backpack and a black sharpie.

PJ,

So this is it, huh? I guess we really are breaking up then. The rumors. They were true.

I still love you. And I always will. But space between you and me will do us some good.

So this is my final goodbye.

I'm sorry I couldn't be better for you.

(Y/N)

After writing, I wipe my tears with my sleeve, which is wet and covered in bloodstains.

"Even so, I'll be here for you. Because I love you."

'Well, clearly, you didn't love me enough,' I think bitterly.

I get up from the desk and almost fall over in pain. I cough into my elbow again, making yet another splatter on it. I keep my other hand in the desk to try and steady myself.

When I can finally stand up with the occasional stumble, I find some tape, go out into the hallway, and stick the folded note on his door.

I walk back and just as I'm about to pick up my bags, my phone rings. I take it out of my pocket and read the caller ID.

PJ 💜

A different emotion comes from my chest. Not exactly pain, but more of something resembling a burning sensation, like fire, starting to build up.

'The audacity he must have to call me as if nothing happened!'

I decline the call and then realize that he's been trying to get ahold of me while I was cleaning.

8 missed calls from PJ 💜

I change his caller ID to PJ 💔 and block him.

Knowing that the others are going to come home very soon, I use the last of my energy and put on my bags. I carefully grasp the urn and make my way downstairs.

I go outside, not even bothering to open an umbrella. I stare at the house.

"See you never..never again..."

I start on my walk.

'This is too much..'

'Oh, quit whining, you baby.'

"Shut your damn mouth, you demon spawn!" I accidentally snap out loud. Quickly realizing y surroundings, I whip around for any signs of life. Luckily, no one saw me yell at an invisible figure.

She lets out an audible smirk and continues to talk my ear off about how "ironic" this is.

'I mean, seriously, you've only been with him for a few months. What did you expect to happen?'

Every single word coming out of her mouth pierces through my heart.

'You let him get too close. And now, you pay.'

It's like I'm bleeding without the blood part.

'I warned you, didn't I? But you never listen.'

She continues to scold me for being stupid, but I don't even care anymore. I take each blow inflicted on me and turn on autopilot mode.

I could've walked past the house, but, thankfully, Inverse lets out one of her snarky remarks that causes me to pay attention again.

"Heh...home sweet home?"

It's not really sweet. If anything, it's more bitter. I guess that's where the word "bittersweet" comes from.

~A/N~
How do you guys feel about this?
Is it angsty enough?
Hopefully, it is ^^
Please don't kill me for this qwq

Word count: 2851 words (including A/N)

*nopes out*