WARNING THE FOLLOWING MAY WORRY YOU ABOUT MY MENTAL STABILITY! I AM IN NO WAY GOING TO KILL MYSELF ANY TIME SOON AND THIS CHAPTER IS JUST TO GET THINGS OFF MY MIND.

UGHHHHH ok lets get started. I'm still single yay! My NJHS (national junior honors society) induction is on Wednesday May 16th 2018. My social is that Friday May 18th 2018. And I am stressed and god. Hunter. Hunter is still being an asshole. I'm still being ignored by my "friends" but I am to scared to speak above a whisper at this point in fear of staining my vocal cords cause I have slowly started to become mute. Ha. I have officially related myself to the song Micheal in the bathroom from be more chill. I am lactose intolerant now (yay) my friends have all gotten boyfriend/girlfriends respectfully. My sister makes me feel useless and hated. My cousin's cat sully had to be put down and I sobbed. The girl I like hates me I know it so I'm probably gonna stop trying to talk to her because I can tell she resents me. Officially gonna stop third wheeling G and his girlfriend. I'm just not gonna talk to anyone at school unless someone needs me to talk then maybe I'll answer but if I get called on in class or something I'll answer but otherwise school can fûck off and kids there will never hear my voice again. Sat through a mental breakdown by myself because I was to afraid to text someone. I am genuinely trying to find reasons daily to smile so then I don't have to force it. I don't want to do much of anything anymore and honestly just want to stay home all day maybe take online classes for high school but I know my parents would never let me do that. Maybe if I have a mental breakdown while someone is paying attention to me they'll let me take online class for high school but that'll never happen. Oh well I'm gonna end this here before I say to much and then you guys start to worry.