Dear diary,

I get that I'm not the easiest person to be around. I'm grumpy, bitchy, and rude, and when I'm not any of those three, I'm just crying. I'm antisocial and a bit of a creep. I know many people don't like me, but there are also many that do. Dika, my siblings, my parents, my cousins, Gil, Ludwig... I know that they care about me. And it must be a huge pain for them to put up with me.

I know I've never been the best friend to Dika... now that I look back on it, there's some moments where I was pretty damn shitty to her. Yet, she's always stuck by my side, no matter how bitchy I got.

I know I'm not the best little sister Alfred could have. I mean, I broke his arm once, then dared him to eat a candle, and once even made him drink a puddle. It honestly hurts when he says he hates me. Even if I do act like I'm okay with the joke. Even if we don't get along often, the two of us are still siblings, we should love each other. I don't want us to end up like Dad and Uncle Allie... though in a way we already have.

I feel like I only drag everyone around me down, in fact, I know I do. But I can help being grumpy and depressed. All I can do it hope that none of them ever leave me. I'm already broken.