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Guilt


Sooyoung looked down at the note as she quickly picked up the small map and shoved the paper into her pocket before running back into the castle. She couldn't get rid of the image of the soldier bleeding in front of her. She had never been in a situation like that before, and she felt like she now realized the reality of what she was facing. She didn't like the idea of having to kill people regardless of her status; however, she was aware that the situation was rapidly deteriorating because she sensed that the enemy was closing in on the castle, whether she was prepared or not. This thought made her feel uneasy since she knew she could be attacked even when Rilian was not around.

She knew, however, that it was of the utmost importance to send the note to Rilian so they would be at least one step ahead of the enemy. She ran quickly into the dining room as Rilian looked down at her breathless face with a raised eyebrow, signifying his confusion. "Are you...okay?" His tone sounded slightly worried. He wondered what made her run in such a hurry. Sooyoung pulled out the map and placed it on the long wooden table placed in the middle of the dining room. Rillian curiously walked over as he leaned over the table to get a closer look at the map. As he slowly glances over the map, his eyes widen as the realization of what the map was dawns on him. 

Rilian soon realized what may soon hit his people as he looked to the side at Sooyoung. "Where did you find this? may soon hit his people as he looked to the side at Sooyoung. "Where did you find this?" He said this as he stepped back from the table. Sooyoung began to look worried, as she knew that this information was affecting Rilian in some way. She felt lost as to how she could calm him back down since she didn't fully understand how she could solve the situation. Rilian took a deep breath to calm himself, and he began to look less panicked to Sooyoung's relief. Sooyoung weirdly felt a sense of comfort knowing that she wasn't alone in her fear of this upcoming threat. "I got this from a bandit that I think was trying to break into the castle." She spoke with a serious tone as she tried not to let her fear show through her tone.

Rilian nodded as he looked down at the map once more. "I will prepare my soldiers." Don't leave this castle until it's safe to do so." As he rolled up the map, he said sternly. He then walks closer to Sooyoung as his serious look slowly melts away and is replaced with one of immense worry. "I do not want to see you get hurt again." He mumbled so that only Sooyoung could hear. However, Sooyoung did not like the idea of being trapped. She wanted to help, even in some way. "I want to help you. "Do you not think I would want to hear of you being hurt as well?" She says this defensively as Rilian sighs in response. "You may have improved in your training, but I can't be throwing you into battle so early in your training." He said it again, sounding stern.

Sooyoung was beginning to get annoyed that Rilian may have no trust in her. She stepped closer to him, her stern gaze fixed on him. "Did your father ever say that to the Pensives?" She confronted him as she tilted her head. Rilian's eyes widen at Sooyoung's boldness as he glances to the side, avoiding her gaze, with a slight blush brushing his cheeks. "You are one person." They had at most four people. He retaliated because her attitude was starting to irritate him. "I don't want you to be killed. Is that too much to ask for?" He mumbled softly as there was an awkward silence that filled the room for a moment before he gave in. "I'll send you in... but I'll send my most trusted soldier to stay close to you." He sighed.

Rilian walks out of the room before he turns his head to focus his gaze on Sooyoung. "I will not make any compromises on my decision." That's the best I can give you." He said it seriously. Rilian was wavering as to whether he regretted letting her fight like he was doing. He feared that she could be killed. He hadn't cared for someone like he did Sooyoung, and the idea of her being hurt, or worse, killed, tore him apart. He had heard of many near-miss situations, from Sooyoung being kidnapped to her being nearly killed by a bandit; however, he knew she could fight, especially with her advanced improvement in her training.

Rilan walked through the hallway, ridden with thoughts and doubt. He took a deep breath as he went into the training room. As soon as he stepped into the room, it was like he became a different person, with his posture straight and his eye fixated on the soldiers like a hawk. Even if he was down, he didn't like to show that to his soldiers. He was proud of his soldiers and guards, especially since they had a history of adopting orphans and social outcasts to make them into better people and give them a better life. He saw the potential in everyone, no matter where they came from. It was more about the decisions people made than anything else.

Rilian made his way to his head soldier, who was looking down at a trainee soldier. The head soldier glanced up at Rilian and quickly bowed his head. Rilian smiled, trying his best to hide his sadness in the face of keeping up his leadership facade. "I need to speak with you. "Are you busy?" Rilian asked as he glanced down at the trainee. The head soldier shakes his head. "Not at the moment, Majesty. "I can send one of my other soldiers to train her," he said formally. Rilian nodded in response as he walked forward, with the soldier following from behind.

Rilian was scared that he could potentially be putting Sooyoung in danger.

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