I roll around the bed once again, trying to pull enough blankets to protect my ears from the lustful moans that are heard in the darkness of the night. It doesn't work; I can listen to them as if those two were next door. It has lasted at least two hours, and he, Wei Wuxian, keeps saying all those naughty things to his now husband, my beloved nephew, Lan Zhan. 

I sighed. At least I can say Lan men have a lot of vitality and strength, but I need to sleep; I will give lectures tomorrow.

I hear another moan followed by the words, "Oh, Lan Er-gege, you made me come so hard."

Dear goddess Guanying, let me die now before the morning came. I cannot take it any longer!

I didn't study much about dual cultivation since that practice seemed quite ill-advised, and I wasn't frankly into looking for love after what happened to my brother. However, long ago, as a young student, I accidentally found a book in the library about it. Theoretically, a man should be able to make it work for about 30 minutes at maximum. How is it possible they are still on it for more than two hours? 

The book I read might be inaccurate since monks don't have much of a sex life. This makes me question how my nephew is so skilled in the arts of love. I don't want to think much about it since it is all probably Wei Wuxian's doing.

I hear his moans again. I try to smother myself with the pillow, this time actively.

Wei Wuxian was my nephew's doom from the beginning. My Lan Zhan was never that harsh on a sneaky student bringing alcohol inside. Nor was so flustered for seeing someone so shameless. As soon as I heard the name, I knew he was troublesome. He was the son of that woman anyway. So, I did my best to correct his behavior as an exemplary educator should.

As a teacher, I had a vantage point to see it from early on. Wei Wuxian always teased my nephew in classes. I tried to teach Wei Ying how to be a good boy by putting him and Lan Zhan together. I thought he would benefit from having a good role model, but it didn't work.

I think I ruined my nephew's life by doing that.

I wonder, if those two hadn't spent time together in their youth, would my nephew ever realize he was gay?

I guess he would.

My nephew is gay, and I almost destroyed his life.

I didn't cause the war with the Wen sect and had no connection with the destruction of Lotus Cove, but I wasn't a harsh enough teacher. I should have educated Wei Wuxian more personally after recognizing his talent.

I imagine myself telling Wei Wuxian, "Write 50000 times: demonic cultivation is bad; I won't practice demonic cultivation again."

Yet I never made any effort to approach the boy. When my older nephew, Lan Xichen, told me Lan Zhan wanted to bring this man back to Cloud Recess, all I thought was good was that I could teach him how to be a good cultivator now. I didn't get the clue right that Lan Zhan was in love.

The next time I saw them together, I realized my mistake, but it was too late.

Punishing my nephew broke my heart. 

I should have taken part in his punishment for myself. I failed as a parent figure and as an educator. Lan Qiren, the outstanding professor, was a sham.

Lan Zhan never accused me, but that hurt even more. If he snapped, I would feel some counter-penance coming in my way.

My karma indeed arrived; after Wei Wuxian reincarnated, I had another chance. I almost ruined it, yet heaven is merciful, and my nephew and his husband survived.

I cannot say I am not happy to have my nephew back in Cloud Recess. I am delighted.

But I am confident soon I will qi deviate.

I wonder what type of person I will be when that happens.

I hope it will be a better one.