"Mom?"

Jhanvi looked up from her desk to see her son at the door of her study...fidgeting and comprehending whether he could get in.

She got up from her place with a small smile and walked to the door to reach her son.

"Come in Omkara... why are you looking so uncomfortable?"

"I... are you busy?"

"No... I was going through the company's recent tender sheets... I was going to come to you today... I plan to start working for Oberoi corps again" she informed making his son widen his eyes.

He took a minute to grasp on to the news.

What is going on? Did he miss something while he was immersed in his own problems?

"Really?" he asked in hesitation.

Jhanvi smiled "Come... let us go to my room" she said and taking his hand, walked towards their destination.

*************************

The first thing Omkara noticed in his mother's room was an empty liquor cabinet. After all the pain and turmoil his heart endured since the last two days, it was the second sight which made him immensely happy.

"I talked to Dr Dinakar. He said I can get over my addiction... in time" Jhanvi informed and watched the smile grow on her son's face.

"I...mom, how did you..." he fumbled meekly.

"I am sorry Om" she said gently caressing his cheek "I wasn't strong enough for my children.

Omkara took her palm and kissed it gently "No, it was not your fault"

"I know you will say that but I know where I errored and I wish to correct it by all means" she said and he hugged her tight his eyes turning misty.

"I love you Om... more than anything. You have always fought for me and my happiness. Now that I am back to form, I think you should concentrate on your own life" she said, hugging him back.

Omkara parted from her hug his brows knitted in confusion "Why would you say that... I am doing fine."

Jhanvi nodded her head. "Maybe, but you can do better" she said as she walked to her cupboard and brought him a file.

"This?"

"Mr. Mehta had contacted Shivaay a few weeks back when you denied him an exhibition" he said.

"Mom... I am not..."

"Why? You said you are doing good. In that case, this shouldn't be a problem right?"

Omkara sighed looking away when his mother urged "You wanted to talk? Why did you come to me?"

When she got his usual silence as the answer, she made him sit on the bed and sat beside him giving him time.

Minutes went by and none of them spoke a word. Omkara feared to voice out his thoughts to his mother while Jhanvi waited for the same, patiently gently rubbing her son's hand.

His brothers were equally stuck in their own love lives that discussing his problems with them seem to be imposing himself on them. He chose to ignore his thoughts which ran in bizarre directions but commonly ended on one beautiful woman whom he had wronged.

Sure, it had been a while since he talked to his mother but he has been thinking of doing the same, since he was unable to think straight with all that is happening in his life. When Shivaay informed him about his mother's wish to do something for Gauri, he decided to pay her visit.

Evidently, he had been a bad son in addition to his other failures, to not know of his own mother's state of mind.

Although he wondered what might have caused the change, he was so happy with the effect that he decided to let go of the discussion which might tell him of the cause. He knew his mother was just as much a private a person as him and if she wanted to tell him, she would do it without him pestering her for it.

Then what is left to talk?... he pondered.

Maybe he could ask her the one question that had been on his mind since he was a child but he never dared approach her that time.

"How does it feel to be in love?" he asked staring at the file in his hand and caught his mother by surprise.

"What?" she asked, her voice giving out her surprise as well as her confusion.

"Do you feel anything except being weak and helpless? Does it only give you sleepless nights until you know the one you love is close to you? Will you turn toxic, out of character and feel insecure when they meet other people?"

Jhanvi shook her head in a no, her guilt increasing by many measures.

Of course, what else will the son of a heartbroken mother learn?

After watching the example of what love did to her, what more can she expect other than bitterness towards the feeling?

Her son loved her so much that he would obviously blame the emotion rather than accusing his mother, who failed to keep herself intact for him.

"Being in love gives you happiness and strength Om. You will sleep peacefully even if you are away from them because you know they would be waiting to be with you. When you love, you will trust the person enough to get over your insecurities," she said clearing his doubts.

No... he did not love Gauri... not yet...was all that his mind screamed at him after listening to his mother.

Omkara nodded his head when Jhanvi stroked his hair, kissing his temple.

"But Omkara... you need to first accept your love to feel it's essence," she said and he turned to her knitting his eyebrows.

"Once you know you love someone, you should accept them, express yourself and your feelings, only then will you know the actual meaning of being in love. Until then, doubts and insecurities will never leave you."

"What if I am not worth it?" he mumbled and she gasped, shaking her head in a no.

"Om... you deserve everything you want for yourself. Please don't say that."

"No mom" he disagreed with a mirthless smile.

"That part of me which accepted people for what they are, that heart which preached about love and righteousness, that Omkara who was worth happiness was killed a long time back."

"No!!" his mother denied.

"He is still in here" she said touching his chest.

"You just need to wake it up."

When he only shook his head in refusal, she continued in a firm tone.

"I know you Om and I also know that your heart is already awake from its slumber. Otherwise, we won't be sitting here and discussing love."

"Mom..."

"Please don't let go of her Om" Jhanvi said cutting him off, making him silent yet again.

"Mom I..."

"Please, don't," she asked, her tears melting his heart as usual.

"I am too damaged for her mom. She deserves someone who is complete. If fate was any different, then she would have been married to that somebody"

"Right... but destiny chose you both to be together"

"But..."

"Keep your principles aside for a minute and think Om. Will you be able to see her with someone else now?"

Her question changed his every thought. The one thing he was sure by then was that he hated it when Karan merely touched Gauri. He could not tolerate when see took the man's name.

But how will he live in peace if she ever accused him of ruining her by tying her down to a man who had darkness surrounding him? Life had never been fair to him and he couldn't keep his hopes high after everything.

She didn't deserve to be the wife of a person like him who was weak to choose an easy path of addiction instead of facing his problems head on. She did not deserve to be with a person who had been a monster, treating her like a door mat.

His heart pleaded for her presence in life while his mind screamed that it was wrong.

"There now, stop that thinking of all the bad that is about to happen" Jhanvi said looking at him lost in thought.

Her son has been in constant war of heart and brain which she thought was the reason of ruin of his chances at happiness.

"Don't take decisions when you are not ready Om. When in doubt, let her decide for herself. That way at least, you will not regret doing something wrong by yourself," she said and he sighed.

Could he take the risk? Was he strong enough to break again if his luck played its part like always?

"She will not hurt you," the mother assured her son, firming her grip on his hand, her eyes pleading him.

"She said things wont change between us" Omkara put forth his final opposing card.

"And so, did you Om. Did you forget what all you told her when she first stepped into this house as your wife?"

"I did not mom and that is the very reason I am ashamed to ask anything from her"

"Then don't ask her anything. You just be yourself. Be the man you were before all of this started. Be the Om I was proud of" she said when he still looked apprehensive.

"But..."

"If she loved the worst of you, then she will never be able to stop herself from loving your best version Om"

"I don't think I can be that mom... It is too late to go back"

"You can and you will" she said with such conviction that he couldn't help but nod his head, tightly holding on to her and her belief.

Perhaps he can try one last time... what did he have to lose except for his stoned heart?

**********************************************************

The mother son colloquy was disturbed when they heard Rudra shouting his mother's name.

Jhanvi and Omkara looked at each other before they rushed to the door to greet an anguished Rudra.

"What happened Rudy?" she asked in worry.

"Come down mom... Shivaay bhaiyya has gone out with Sahil and daadi is not yet home. Choti maa is scolding Gauri Bhabhi, she will not listen to anyone except you"

"What?" Omkara asked.

"Let us go down first O" he said impatiently, before he ran down the stairs, taking his mother's along.

Omkara wordlessly followed him, his heart in chaos and his mind replaying Gauri's smiling picture sometime back.

Thanks to his family, that smile must have been wiped out... he cursed mentally.

"You dare question me? Who do you think you are?" Pinky uttered looking at Gauri with disgust.

Pinky Singh Oberoi on her routine, went to Anika to warn her again to get out of her son's life when Gauri happened to pass by.

Though she told herself many times not to interfere, her legs took her inside the room to support her sister in law.

Things blew out of proportion when Pinky couldn't tolerate a village girl lecturing her on treating the daughter in law of the house. Despite Rudra's efforts, she refused to calm down, slandering the girl's character and name yet again.

"I only told you what I thought was right Choti maa ji... if bade bhaiyya came to know of how you talk to bhaujai, he will not tolerate it" Gauri said though Anika clung to her side, asking her to stop the fight.

"Are you threatening me?" the woman growled, raising her hand to slap when Jhanvi called her.

"Pinky... what is all this. Is this the way you treat them?"

"You are accusing me Jethani ji? Ask this low life what she said to me"

"I heard what she spoke and I agree with her.. Shivaay will not be happy with your behavior Pinky"

"He is my son and he will hear to what I say. Not the other way round."

"Shivaay is old enough to distinguish right from wrong Pinky"

"No he is not that smart yet. Otherwise he wouldn't have let this woman in this house again.. Everything is because of your lovely sons. You should learn to scold them once in a while so that they start using their brains"

"Pinky... you are unnecessarily prolonging this. Enough of the drama, go to your room"

"I will not, until this girl here apologizes. She is eating our left overs and dares to bark back"

"Pinky!! Address Gauri with respect. You don't talk to her this way"

"Why? What is she to you?"

"Are you in your senses? She is the daughter in law of the house"

"And she married whom?" she asked passing a smirk to Omkara whose hands formed tight fists, trying to rein his temper.

Jhanvi looked at her son for a second before she diverted her gaze to Gauri whose eyes were downcast in shame.

"Stop this Pinky, please"

"Why? You don't like to talk rules now? What is this girl even doing here? Did anyone saw her marry your son?"

"Pinky stop..."

"Okay leave it... Does your son consider her his wife? She stayed in his room for the past three months with what relation? Come on Jethani ji.. speak up"

Anika held on to Gauri, who closed her eyes as she gulped a painful sob.

"You are crossing your limits now"

"Ask your son if she isn't a low life. I am sure he would agree with me"

"Choti maa, let us talk after Shivaay bhaiyya comes. This is not right" Rudra pleaded, fearing that his brother would explode in anger anytime soon.

"Tum logon se baat karke bhi kyaa faida... aise sadak chaap bahue laaye ghar ke dono bete. Aisi giri hui, ghatiya, ginouni,...."

"Enough!!" Omkara roared.

"Chillao mat (Don't shout)!! Why are you keeping her here? Are you not done with her yet?"

"Don't choti maa, I am barely holding on to the last bit of my self-control"

"What will you do? And why are you getting hyper. Isn't she just a..."

"She is my wife!!" he roared taking a step towards her.

Silence filled the room as everyone looked at the angry man throwing daggers at Pinky.

"I have had enough of everybody asking me the same thing and I am answering you once and for all. Gauri is my wife and you treat her like that. Understood?" he screamed and Pinky looked at him shocked.

Jhanvi proudly looked at her son while Anika and Rudra smiled happily squeezing Gauri's shoulder.

A tear escaped Gauri's eyes as they focused on Omkara, her heart thundering inside her chest, melting for her husband, watching him once again standing up for her.

But the question remained the same... Did he mean it?

**************************************************************************

Drum roll... surprise update...

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