A/N: This chapter is kind of long, but it gives you guys some insight on Andie's character.  Andie has Social phobia and a severe anxiety disorder, as do I. I understand that everyone with these disorders may experience different things, but the way I wrote Andie is a reflection of myself and my struggles with mental illness. Please remain respectful in the comments.  <3 
This chapter also gives a little insight on why Killian is the way he is. 
Also this Chapter switches POV a couple times. The characters name's will be in bold when the POV changes :) As always, enjoy and let me know what you think in the comments. 

Andie

Some nights were harder than others when it came to sleeping. This morning, when I woke up in a cold sweat with my heart beating out of my chest, I was already exhausted. I curled up in a ball under my blanket, trying to stop the wave of tears before they hit but had no luck.

Balthazar wiggled his way under my arm and curled up beside me purring.

"Thanks, Zar." I sniffled and kissed the top of his head and scratched behind his ears. Balthazar gave me a look, and I swore it was like this cat and I could actually talk to each other.

"Dr. John has faxed my files to Dr. Hopper, I am just waiting for him to call me with an appointment. He's supposed to be really good Zar, maybe he can help." Balthazar headbutted me and rubbed his face on mine.

"I know I need to get up. I have to go to the store today. I need to eat something besides top ramen, and I'm sure you'd like a treat." I sighed and sat up. I looked at the door to the apartment that I could see from my open bedroom and the thought of leaving was beginning to make me sick.

I got out of bed and walked into my bathroom and turned on the sink and splashed my face with cool water and looked up at myself in the mirror, trying to remember a time when I didn't look so broken. I opened the medicine cabinet and looked at my collection and started opening bottles to take my daily cocktail hoping like hell it would numb away some of this anxiety. Some days were just worse than others.

Eventually a couple hours into my day, I felt brave enough to at least venture to the mailbox. I opened my door and peeked out. I didn't think I could handle Killian and his assholery today luckily there was no sign of him. I looked back at my chunky ball of fluff watching me.

"Be right back Zar." I whispered and left the apartment

The funny thing about having a severe anxiety disorder is sometimes it makes you believe you have to be a ninja in order to avoid people at all costs. Most of the time, people will leave you alone all on their own but anxiety doesn't allow you to think logically, so I found myself walking on my toes down the hallway to avoid making any sort of noise whatsoever. I suppose its not really funny so much as it is sad. Thats right, you're just sad Andie. There used to be a time in my life when I thought a great achievement was a lot more than making it to a mailbox without a panic attack but that seemed so far off.

I opened my mailbox and pulled out an envelope. The name on the envelope threw me straight into a whirlwind of panic.

Andrea Moore. I felt like all the air I had was taken from me there was something else in the box but I couldn't even be bothered with it at the moment. Why? Why did whatever was in this envelope have to be addressed to that last name?

"Hey..are you okay?"

I jumped nearly out of my skin and turned around to see a man with a soft, kind facial expression and blonde hair. He looked incredibly concerned but I couldn't even speak.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm David Nolan..are you the new girl in 3A? My wife and I saw that someone new was moving in but haven't had time to introduce ourselves."

I blinked at him.

Come on Andie, say hi, say something. Anything.

I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe. I had to get back home.

I quickly turned around and just started walking away and it was the only thing my broken brain could allow me to do at the moment. I hurried up the hallway and threw my door open and ducked in and slammed it shut and sat down against it trying to catch my breath. Tears were streaming down my face for the second time already today and I couldn't have felt more small and pathetic. Balthazar crawled into my lap and made himself at home and I held him close to me for comfort.

"Maybe we can get you some treats tomorrow, yeah? Today is just not a good day.." I said.

Killian

I sat at the kitchen table at my best friend Davids, waiting for him to get back from checking the mail. Our friend Robin was supposed to be here any time now and we were going to play cards. I hadn't really hung out with David and Robin in while, and it was good to be over here again.

"I'm glad to see you more yourself Killian." Mary-Margaret, David's wife smiled at me. In all honesty, it had been a little over a year since I'd truly felt myself. Even now while I felt I was making progress I still felt like a shell of my former self.

"David's missed you."

"Aye, I missed him too. Its..just been tough." I said. Mary-Margaret frowned.

"We know, Killian. We understand." She said and squeezed my shoulder.

David walked in the apartment with a package and a strange look on his face.

"Whats up with you?" I chuckled.

"I just met our new neighbor..kind of." He said.

"Andie? Shes a weird one mate.." I mumbled.

"Well that's one way to put it." David sighed. "I don't know she seemed off but I think I scared her. I introduced myself and she ran away."

"That's just your general effect on women Dave." I smirked. "We can't all be devilishly handsome."

David scoffed and set the package down.

"Like I said, She's weird. Ignore her. What's that?" I asked looking at the package.

"Its hers. She ran off and left her mailbox open with the key in it I was going to take it to her but figured I'd better not given the way she ran away. Maybe you can take it to her?" He asked Mary-Margaret.

"Sure!" Mary-Margaret beamed jumping at the chance to meet the new neighbor. "I'll bring her these too." She said and picked up the cookies off the table.

"I thought those were mine." I mumbled.

"There's more on the counter Killian." She sighed and picked up the package with her other hand.

"I'll be back in a bit." She smiled.

"Good luck with that.." I said in a huff as she walked out of the apartment.

"What is your deal with the new neighbor?" David asked.

"She's nosy, and annoying and she has this stupid cat that runs all over the place that and something is up with her. I can just feel it." I said and shrugged.

"She did seem pretty jumpy at the mailboxes but.. Not nosy or annoying. She just seemed terrified or something." 

"I wonder if Gold knows she has that cat." I wondered out loud.

"Does the cat bother you that much?" David asked.

"She thinks its special. She thinks she's special." I grumbled.

David sighed.

"Killian, I'm going to say this because your my best friend, and your like a brother to me and I think its best you hear it from me. I think the problem you are having is not with the neighbor, but the apartment she is living in. It was vacant for a year."

"Why would I be upset over that?" I scoffed but I felt panic bubbling knowing exactly where this conversation was going. I got up and walked to the fridge and decided to get an early start on the beers.

"Its okay to still be upset Killian, Archie told you it was better to let it out than to bottle it up, and I see you've clearly chosen to ignore his advice. We all miss Milah but I know how hard it was for you, how hard it still is for you."

Her name left a dull ache in my chest and I took a long pull of the beer in my hand.

"My grief with the new neighbor has nothing to do with Milah." I said but I knew as soon as I said it I was lying.

"Killian.." David sighed.

"Lets not talk about it. Lets just drink these beers and play some damn cards. If Robin ever shows up." I said and sat back down at the table.

Andie

After a little while I was starting to calm down. I sat at my kitchen table looking at the envelope I had pulled from my mailbox. Balthazar sat at my feet meowing at me.

"I know I need to open it. I don't want to open it." I sighed "Maybe later. What do you think sounds good for dinner?" I asked. "We could get delivery. I wouldn't have to go out." I said and looked down at the cat who looked back at me and blinked probably thinking that I was an idiot for sitting here talking to a cat.

There was a light knock on the door. I cautiously walked to the door and looked out the peephole. There was a bubbly looking women smiling back at me. I unlocked the door and opened it peeking out.

"Hi!" She said excitedly. "I'm Mary-Margaret, I think you met my husband David at the mailboxes." She said and looked down at the package in her hand. "Andrea Baker right?"

I nodded and opened the door more.

"Andie..but Yes." I said quietly and looked down at the package and the cookies in her hands.

Andie we've done this before and she seems nice. Be an actual human being for once.

"Would.. You like to come in?" I asked

"Oh, Sure!" Mary-Margaret beamed as I stepped aside to let her in. I closed the door behind her

"Please don't think I'm creepy.. But I'm new here and don't know many people so I'm locking the door." I said.

"Oh, thats fine. I understand. David is the town's sheriff so this complex is pretty secure."

Truthfully that wasn't why I was locking the door but I had to say something before I locked her in with me like a serial killer.

Mary-Margaret set the package and the cookies on the table

"I made some cookies, I actually made a bunch for David, Killian and Robin for their card game but I figured this would be a good ice breaker. Everyone likes cookies." She smiled.

I gave her a half smile.

"Thank you."

"I'm sorry if David scared you at the mailboxes He felt awful. Oh! You left your key too." Mary-Margaret said and handed me my mail key. I put the key in the bowl on the counter and shook my head.

"No.. He didn't. I mean he did but.. Its not his fault." I shrugged. Balthazar walked over to Mary-Margaret to check her out.

"Oh, How cute!" She smiled and leaned down to pet him as I opened the package on the table and smiled.

"Gold doesn't really like animals, so I would hide him if he stops by." Mary-Margaret advised.

"I shouldn't have to with this." I said and pulled the little vest out of the box and crouched down.

"Come here Zar." I said Balthazar strolled over to me and I put the vest on him with ease.

"Wow, I've never seen a cat sit so still for anything." Mary-Margaret giggled.

"Balthazar is not like most cats. He's my emotional support animal." I smiled And pet him. "And he looks so handsome in his new vest." Mary-Margaret got a look at his official support animal vest and I could tell that she wanted to ask why I needed him.

"Zar is a cute name." She said instead.

"Its short for Balthazar." I said. "I have social phobia, Panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder..a few other things thrown in between but that's the general idea of it.." I explained, not a lot of people were granted this information but Mary-Margaret seemed nice and she seemed like someone I could actually talk to.

"Oh. I'm sorry that sounds horrible." She frowned. "If you ever need any help with anything or..you just need to talk, I live in 7B and I've been told I am a good listener." She smiled.

I smiled back.

"Thank you. David just caught me in the middle of an episode i'm not usually so jumpy and I didn't mean to come off as rude and just run off but sometimes my brain just feels broken and I can't effectively communicate what I need to and I either fight or flight. Luckily for the both of us he got flight..I'm not sure the sheriff would have taken to kindly to being punched."

Mary-Margaret laughed a little.

"He's actually very understanding of it. Our daughter Emma has anxiety."

"Oh, you have a daughter? You look so young.." I said

She grinned.

"Thank you, She's actually away in college." She said. "What about you?"

"Do I have kids?" I questioned. "No." I laughed. "Unless you count Zar."

"I don't see why not." She giggled.

I looked in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry, I'm a lousy host I don't have any coffee to offer or..anything..I was going to go shopping today but my brain had other ideas."

"Oh, well if you want I can go with you if that helps." She offered. "Maybe show you around the town a bit?"

I thought about it for a moment, maybe someone showing me around would at least make it less scary to venture out on my own and I really did need to get some groceries.

"Actually, that sounds good."

"Do you need to take him?" Mary-Margaret asked. I shook my head. "He's not a trained service animal. A lot of public places only allow trained service animals. Balthazar is an emotional support animal, hes really good at comforting me but Hes not great with crowds and he really only likes women. He met Killian the other day and was not impressed."

Neither was I for that matter.

Mary-Margaret giggled. "That sounds about right. Alright, well we can take my car, I can drive if that makes you feel better."

I nodded

"Sounds good." I looked down at the cat. "You be good. Stay out of the cookies mister."

Balthazar gave me his classic I do what I want face and padded off somewhere in the apartment.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Are you hungry? There's a diner called Granny's they have the best food." Mary-Margaret offered as she drove downtown after we went grocery shopping.

"I am actually." I nodded. "I've seen advertisements on Facebook."

"Great, lets stop in. Your groceries should be fine in the back." She smiled and pulled into the parking lot for the diner.

We got out of the car and walked into the diner and found a booth to sit in. A waitress with red streaks in her hair walked over to the table.

"Oh someone new!" She grinned.

"Hey, Ruby." Mary-Margaret greeted. "This is Andie, she just moved into the apartments."

"Hey. I'm Ruby." She said and extended her hand. I shook her hand awkwardly and smiled.

"Andie.. Well I mean you knew that because she just told you.. But yeah." I mumbled

Well lets just make a fool of ourselves. Way to go Andie.

"We still on for girls night next weekend? Oh Andie you should totally come!"

"Maybe.." I smiled.

"Ruby, less chatting more working." an older woman from behind the bar said.

"Sure, Granny.." Ruby sighed and rolled her eyes. "What do you guys want to drink?" She asked.

"Iced tea." Mary-Margaret smiled and then Ruby looked at me and I panicked.

"Same." I said. Even though I hated iced tea. Fucking anxiety..

Ruby smiled and walked away to get our drinks.

"You okay Andie?" Mary-Margaret asked

"Yeah.." I sighed. "Its just been a bad day."

"You know, you are welcome to come with me next weekend but you totally don't have to." She said.

"I might. It might do me some good to get out and talk to other people. I've talked Balthazar's ear off for the last three days.." I brought my hands up to the table anxiously tapping on the table.

Mary-Margaret looked at my hands curiously. I looked down and realized she was looking at the imprint left by a ring on my left ring finger and I put my hands back in my lap.

----------------------------------------------

We made it back to the apartment complex and we were carrying the groceries up the stairs.

"Are you okay?" She asked again and then sighed. "I wanted to ask when I saw the imprint of the ring on your finger but I thought maybe you weren't comfortable with me asking about your marriage."

"I.. will be okay." I nodded. "I filed for divorce, and left him while he was at work." I said quietly. "Please don't say anything to anybody."

"Of course I won't." She said. "If you ever have any problems David can help you. Don't hesitate to ask."

I didn't even tell her why I left him, but I must have just had a look that told her what she needed to know.

We reached our floor and as we made our way down the hallway, David, and another man were helping a plastered Killian to his apartment.

"I told you not to let him drink David!" Mary-Margaret sighed.

"I'm sorry, Its my fault I brought up Milah.." He sighed.

"I'll take it from here." The other man said "I'll stay with him a bit to make sure hes fine."

"Thanks Robin." David said. The one named Robin turned to me and gave me a smile and winked. "Alright mate, In you go." He said and opened Killian's door and dragged him in the apartment.

"Whos Milah?" I asked curiously.

"Milah was Killian's fiance.. She lived in your apartment, She was killed in a nasty car accident last year." Mary-Margaret explained.

I frowned, that was heartbreaking to hear even if he was a raging asshole he didn't deserve that. No one did.

"I'm sorry to hear that.." I said and looked at Mary-Margaret. "Thank you..for all of your help today."

"Oh, Any time!" She smiled. I took the few bags she had in her hands.

"I have to go and feed the cat." I smiled. "Thank you again." I added and opened my apartment door walking inside and sighing in relief to be home.

I put the groceries on the table and walked over to the painting I had found in the apartment when I moved in and hung on my fridge. I looked at the bottom corner where it was signed and dated and the name was Milah. Now it made sense why Killian was so upset about it the other day when he was in here. I felt bad for him I couldn't imagine the pain he felt.

Balthazar jumped up on the table to check out the groceries I had brought home.

"Maybe today wasn't so bad after all, Zar." I said and scratched behind his ears. I looked back down at the envelope that remained unopened and felt panic bubbling again.

My cellphone started ringing, I found that odd, it was getting kind of late. I took my phone out of my pocket and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello." A gentle voice answered. "Is this Andie?"

"Yes.." I said. "Who is this?"

"Oh, I'm sorry This is Dr. Hopper, I'm sorry for the late call I just got your files from Dr. John in Seattle. I've been looking over them and I wanted to set up an appointment for you as soon as possible. Are you free tomorrow?" He asked.

"Tomorrow? Uh.."

"I understand that speaking with someone new is scary Andie but I'd really like you to try and come in tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is good." I said. "What time?"

"9:30. I have a full hour open for you"

"Okay. 9:30. Great..thank you." I said

"You're very welcome. I'll see you tomorrow morning Andie." He said.

"See you tomorrow.." I said and hung up the phone. 

"Well, thats, that Zar.." I said I was nervous but relieved.

Some days were worse than others, but today, things were starting to look up.