My heart is a mess
Gayeon watched him covertly as he talked to Jaehyun in the Jung's living room. Jaehyun appeared to be excited by Yuta's arrival, which made her happy to see him smile sincerely after many years. She didn't keep much contact with him during high school, so it was almost news to see him smile so cheerfully. Gayeon's heart was warmed by both Jaehyun and Yuta "What a weird feeling" ー she thought. Deep inside, her feelings for Yuta never died, but then why did she identify tickles in her heart every time Jaehyun was around? As she got lost in thoughts, Bogum approached silently. With a weak touch he managed to make her return to her senses.
"Noona..." he then proceeded to smile in an astute way "Bogum is going to buy you ice cream, because you're sad now"
"What?" maybe she sighed too many times for him to think that "Ice cream? Okay... Why not. Let's go" stood up holding out her hand to the smaller boy who was now laughing with pleasure.
Timidly, she approached the dining room where the other two were still talking.
"Taeil hyung told me everything... I'm sorry, I know you don't like others meddling in your business, and that nothing is certain at the moment, but I'll help you..." Yuta whispered.
She didn't intend to listen what they were saying, so as not to make a misunderstanding, she decided to leave a note on the table before leaving.
Took Bogum out for ice cream.
We are at the convenience store.
I'll take care of him, don't worry.
We will be back soon
As Gayeon walked with Bogum towards the convenience store, she saw Johnny across the street. He was acting a bit strange, his face seemed concerned. In short steps, he was walking toward Jaehyun's house's street, yet halfway he returned undecided. Gayeon wanted to ask what bothered him, but it was for the best to leave it be, still she was with Bogum, it would be dangerous since he's basically Jaehyun's clone. She went into the convenience store with the boy, and in that moment, his eyes gleamed like stars as he saw the amount of candy there.
"What's all this?!" he ran to the end of the hall "Mama never showed me this!"
"Never?" she followed him as he was energetic running, even curious, he didn't touch anything "So I'll buy whatever you want!" he smiled wide.
"Anything?!" he stared at her laughing in the cutest way it could've being seen.
"Yes!"
"I want a strawberry popsicle! And... Chocolate bars and...!" while he had a difficult time choosing, Gayeon just placed everything in the basket that was next to the counter for the customers "This one! This one too!" he laughed.
Already with some chips, Choco Pie and Choco Heim, she placed two boxes of Pepero, fruit juice and their ice creams in the basket as well. As she looked around the corner of the shop, she saw some artificially flavored milk. There she could see a peach flavor in the small corner refrigerator. Jaehyun has always liked peaches a lot since childhood. Did he still like it? After picking up everything Bogum chose and the Peach Milk, just as a friendly gift to Jaehyun, she went to pay with the youngest boy. In that moment, Bogum tugged lightly on the hem of her blouse calling her and the attendant's attention.
"I'm going to pay for yours!" from his pocket, he took out a strawberry candy which made the attendant laugh as he reached down to pick it up and thank him.
"Look how Bogum is a grown boy already!" she covertly gave the money and took the plastic bag. Holding the boy's hand, they left.
Back in the square, they sat down on a bench under a tree. While he was delighted eating the cold ice cream, Gayeon ate hers feeling the comfortable breeze of the afternoon. Out of curiosity she looked around, maybe Johnny was still there, undecided and worried, but there was no sign of him. At no moment did Bogum let go of her hand, which made Gayeon happy to see how comfortable he appeared to be with her now. For some reason she wondered what it would be like if Jaehyun were there with them.
As lost more and more in thoughts, Gayeon didn't realize that she kept her eyes fixed on a boy playing in his PS Vita sitting in the other bench. She was so distracted that she didn't notice how, unintentionally, she was staring at him. When finally realized, the black-haired boy was blushing completely as he looked at her. She never felt such embarrassment, even more so when he noticed her desperate reaction and began to laugh. "What a handsome boy" — phrases like this popped up in her mind as she turned the gaze to some children playing ahead. Shortly after they finished the ice cream, Bogum looked at her with curious eyes and before he asked, Gayeon put an end to his suffering.
"Do you want to go play with them?" she laughed "You can, but have to promise me that you won't go far from here" with that words, the little boy twined their pinkies and ran to the other children "Bogum is getting to know a lot of new things today, Jaehyun should buy some toys for him... What did this little boy go through...?"
"Jaehyun?" a calm voice came closer.
"Hm?!" she got a jump scare even if he spoke calmly.
"Sorry" he laughed as approached and sat down on the same bench with some distance "I didn't mean to scare you" it was the same boy Gayeon was staring at a few seconds ago.
"It's ok, don't worry..." he laughed at the confused expression she had.
"I see, you don't recognize me. You probably haven't seen me that day."
"What?" with the break of silence, she turned her eyes to him "I think...
"I'm confusing you with someone else? no, I'm sure" he nodded. Even though he looked the same age as her, his speaking was cute as a kid's one "I'm pretty sure, because you said Jaehyun."
"Do we ever meet?" she was curious about the statements of the stranger.
"Yes, we do, I mean, I saw you at least" he rested his hands on his knees as looked into her eyes "What you did at the party was funny, very brave too. At the time, I thought you were crazy, but in the end, you were able to get Jaehyun's house back to its owner" he was sincere. Before Gayeon could answer he leaned on the bench facing forward "I think your child is having problems" he pointed exactly in the moment a boy pushed Bogum.
"My child? What are you talking about?" he really puzzled her until she followed the tip of his finger "Shit...." Gayeon ran to the smallest one crouching at his side "Did you get hurt?"
"No...." Bogum turned to face the boy who pushed him "Why did you do that?!
"You fell alone!" while the other one was replying and Gayeon was holding Bogum, who was ready to punch his face, the tall dark-haired boy approached.
"When you hurt a friend, you have to apologize" he kneeled down, watching the angry boy.
"He's not my friend, it's not my fault! He fell alone!
"You hurt him; If he had hurt you too, wouldn't you want him to apologize?"
"Hm... Yes, I do, but... But..." the corner of his lips went down as he stared at his fingers tightening his shirt "Okay, I'm sorry...."
"What a good boy!" the stranger smiled lightly caressing the kid's hair, who soon ran around laughing again.
"Thank you..." Gayeon thanked the mysterious boy and helped Bogum to get on his feet "Can you tell me your..." her phone started ringing.
"You should answer that" he smiled waving at Bogum and started to walk away "See you around Jaehyun's neighbor! Or should I say, Gayeon?"
"Wait, how do you know my name and where I live?! It's not fair, you didn't tell me your..." he hurried across the street and got into the first bus that was passing "Your name...!" with a sigh she answered the phone without paying attention to the contact that was calling her.
"Why are you sighing? Did I call at a bad time?"
"What? Oh! No, no, everything is fine..." she took the phone away from the ear just to be sure who she was talking to "Doyoung...! Is everything okay over there?"
"Yes, yes. Are you at home?"
"Now? I'm at the park"
"So, you're busy?"
"No, just having a spare time... Why do you ask?" she leaned her cell phone on shoulder as she wiped the leaves from Bogum's shorts.
"I got some time off from my part-time job, so I wanted to know if you have plans for tonight. Let's go to the movies, you always told me about some good movies you had seen" from his calm tone, it was not possible to identify fear or shyness, which for some reason made her very embarrassed.
"Oh... Sure" her heart raced a little bit.
"Great! See you at seven then!" he seemed very happy and then hung up.
After putting the phone back in her pocket and checking if Bogum was fine and without any scratches, Gayeon took his hand and went back to the Jung's large house. On the way she began to ponder what to wear, just wanted to enjoy the night with Doyoung, even if the nervousness was unavoidable at the moment now. Soon she was entering the house with the small Bogum who ran to look for Jaehyun. Gayeon threw herself on the sofa sighing and resting the elbows on her knees with the plastic bag beside her. Her mind, her heart, she thought it was all going crazy. Everything had to be so confusing, just when she thought she was free of headaches or thinking too much, three boys came to play with her stability. An undecided heart was what she had.
"Oh my God, I'm going insane!" she ended up thinking too loud messing up her hair and covering her face with the hands in frustration.
"I just suspected that, but... Now I'm getting worried" Jaehyun sat next to her already sneaking into the plastic bag.
"What... Hey!" Gayeon hit him with a cushion and took the plastic bag away from him "That's not yours...!
"Ah!" with an exaggerated performance, he pretended to feel a lot of pain "Man down!" as she rolled her eyes with the drama of the boy, the cushion had been stolen by him "Revenge!"
"Stop it! HEY!" he was only aiming to her face, which made she even more frustrated to have the voice muffled to each attack of the cushion "Stop it!" at last she managed to hold it and fought to take it from Jaehyun's hands.
"Blah blah blah" he grimaced, then laughed with pleasure with that beautiful smile.
"You little!" she thought not wanting to admit that her heart was racing desperately, which caused her hands to automatically release the cushion, and with that it went against his face.
"AH! What a brute woman!" he continued laughing.
"Woah! You remain this close after so much time, I'm envious" Yuta was in front of the sofa with a thin smile.
Gayeon's face literally turned red as a pepper, she sat up properly and fixed the hair shyly avoiding to face those black penetrating eyes of Yuta. Jaehyun's gaze was on her too, it was an embarrassing situation. Asking for God's help, Gayeon got enlightened with Bogum. Yuta approached, sitting in the armchair next to Jaehyun analyzing the little one with curious eyes.
"So, this is the kid... Jaehyun, I have to admit it, he is your copy" then the serious air on his face turned on a large smile mixed with a loud laugh.
"Hm" Jaehyun ignored the comment as he watched Bogum approach and sit on the floor in front of the coffee table.
"Bogum bought all this with noona today!" reaching for the plastic bag, he spread all the candies and snacks on the table "Look how much!
Amused by choosing what to eat first, Bogum got the attention of the other two boys in the room who soon sat around him. Gayeon had never stopped to analyze, but Bogum was a very calm and generous boy for his age, he did act as if he were a grown-up and clever boy. With that she imagined what his life should have been like with his mother. From what was being seen he'd never been to a convenience store before or, who knows, a supermarket. His clothes appeared to be very expensive too. Jaehyun comes from a wealthy family, surely the boy's mother should be rich too, judging by the fact that they met at his parents' party. Gayeon was no longer suspecting Bogum wasn't his son, he and Jaehyun were definitely identical, she remembered well how he looked like as a kid that age. As she got lost in thought again, an uncomfortable feeling of being watched hovered over her. Without thinking, she ran her eyes against those of Jaehyun, who held the Peach Milk in hand. Gayeon didn't quite understand why he was smiling so dazzlingly at her as he drank the artificial flavored milk.
"What?" full of doubt, she laughed.
"Nothing, I'm just glad that by fate it has a peach milk, which is my favorite since childhood, lost in here, and Bogum likes chocolate milk and juice instead" he carried the yellow straw against his lips, not stopping to smile like a child.
"B-but I bought it for myself!" she looked away, trying to disguise her nervousness.
"Of course, of course" he laughed, turning his attention to the snacks on the table.
"Hey Bogum, you may get a stepmother soon" Yuta laughed loudly as Jaehyun choked on the milk as he stared at him while blushing from so much coughing.
"WHAT?!" their voices came out as one.
"They even speak in chorus; did you see it?
"NO, MY GOD" for the first time she saw Jaehyun so embarrassed like that.
"I think so, huh?" he prodded Bogum who watched him intently as he ate his Choco Pie "Would you like her to be your mother?
"I already have one! I want her to be... To be my wife!"
Everyone in the room wasn't expecting that. Both the boys looked at each other and wondered clueless to the girl. It didn't take long, they all ended up laughing like crazy.
"He was so serious!" Jaehyun laughed, covering his lips.
"And it was so sincere, I didn't see that coming!" Yuta clapped while laughing of Jaehyun's reaction about the situation.
"Guys, hey guys, why are we laughing?" she was lost in the conversation while laughing too.
A silence filled the room again with the two boys again staring at Gayeon, then they looked at each other once more. It was not long and they were already rolling on the floor with so much laughter.
"My God what's the problem?" all she could do was laugh at their reaction.
Time was passing faster than usual, maybe it was because all four was having a great time together. Gayeon's days were a bit lonelier, though she never complained or bothered to feel alone. It was fun to spend the days like this, at first, she thought it would be a problem, but there was she, spending vacation with Yuta, Jaehyun and Bogum. She found herself wondering what it would be like if she hadn't gone to that party. Maybe she would be at home drawing or listening to music while reading a book or something.
Gayeon commented about the day she'd with Bogum in the park earlier while Yuta played with him. They couldn't exaggerate in quantity or size, but Bogum needed toys, since he sleeps with Jaehyun in his bedroom, they could think of a crib or bed after.
"Okay, so..." Jaehyun checked the hours on his phone "It's still early, how about we go there now? I have some money left over from my allowance."
"I'm in" Yuta seemed to have got closer to the boy, as he did not let go of him.
"It's a great idea, but..." she could see the hours on the screen of Jaehyun's phone, it was 18:05 "It won't do for me. You guys can go, okay?"
"Why?" Jaehyun put the phone in his pocket and checked how much of his allowance he still had.
"I'm going out..." suddenly shy "With a friend."
"What friend?" Jaehyun raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms after Yuta, who wasn't even paying attention, reached for the car's key and brought Bogum to the car.
"Why do you want to know?" laughed with his reaction to her question "It's Doyoung."
"Hm" after uncrossing his arms he sighed and turned to went after Yuta and Bogum "See you tomorrow then?"
"Of course," she shook his shoulder "idiot."
He laughed still seeming to be bothered with something and accompanied her to the door.
"See you tomorrow...!" she waved.
Gayeon found herself laughing like an idiot while looking for something comfortable to wear. She didn't want to pass on the wrong idea to Doyoung, for her his intentions was only a friends meeting, so she chose something simpler and a natural makeup.
She was getting a little nervous as time passed quickly. This was the first time a boy called her out like that, she didn't want to think it was a date, but deep down her undecided heart wanted to believe that maybe Doyoung liked her, and other crazy things a girl never admits to have ever thought. Gayeon tried to calm herself even more when she heard a car parking. She approached the window just out of curiosity and felt the heart start racing again as she walked up to the door. She waited until he rang the bell to not look desperate and opened the door with a thin and timid smile.
"Hi...!" he started to analyze her from head to toe with a strange face of surprise.
"Hi... Hm... Is something wrong?" Gayeon lowered her head quickly, looking for any imperfections in her clothes "What is it, does I look weird?"
"No, no! It's just that..." he chuckled, embarrassed that he'd stared too hard "Everything you wear makes you look pretty, but today you're prettier" he didn't seem to want to say it out loud.
"Thank you...!" even embarrassed, she smiled happily for the compliment.
"My God, can we just go before I say something more embarrassing?" he sighed with a grimace and then laughed.
The city's streets were even more beautiful at night. At the same time Gayeon was talking to Doyoung, she watched the lights through the window. In a little while she was comfortable again next to him, just as like they were in college. In a few moments she was already walking through the mall with Doyoung laughing and talking about random things, for a moment, she felt bad for hiding about Bogum and Jaehyun, but she couldn't say anything since this matter wasn't about her. Gayeon tried to take all those thoughts that blurred her attention to Doyoung away, and just wanted to enjoy the movie and the boy's company. That's what the plan was all about from the start.
It didn't take long to choose a movie, as incredible as it may seem, they wanted to watch the same one from the beginning. They shared the same popcorn, which made the clerk confuse them as a couple and offer them the promotion, as it was cheaper Doyoung just accepted. That's what she believed. A nervousness came back to catch her by the time the lights went out, it was not like Gayeon wasn't paying attention to the movie, it was just that whenever their hands bumped each another to get popcorn, her heart raced a little. It was even more embarrassing because Doyoung was not even shy about it, just letting low giggles escape in a very unnoticed way. Gayeon was being a victim once again of her indecisive heart. Even having a difficult time to calm down and concentrate on that chair, she loved the film and with Doyoung's company, it was even better.
After the end of the movie, they decided to eat something, it wasn't a bad idea a fast-food now. Talking more about themselves, Gayeon realized how Doyoung was funny, he looked like a bunny which made she even more entertained in talking to him. It was cute and nice.
"There was a time I fell off the ladder in the fifth grade in front of everyone, except instead of crying or asking for help, I just got up and pretended nothing had happened" he laughed as he finished eating his french-fries.
"Oh my, poor you" they laughed together as she finished her soda "I fell off the stairs at my graduation."
"Wow" they were both laughing and reminiscing about childhood and how embarrassed they were in front of thousands of people "We're not very lucky for these things."
"Not really" let some giggles escape.
In a funny way, they'd finished eating, but stared at each other for a few seconds. Rather than embarrassing, Gayeon would say interesting, she met a new part of Doyoung that until now she didn't know about. After clearing their trays, it's was already late, so they decided to go back home. Gayeon wanted to say that she'd so much fun. Everything went well enough to time pass so fast.
He decided to accompany her to the door, it was so entertaining with him that she didn't notice that Yuta's car was already parked in front of Jaehyun's house.
"Thank you for spending the time with me" she turned to face him.
"I had fun; it was good!" he smiled nodding to her words
"We can go out more often."
"Yeah..." he grinned, approaching a little more than usual "I'll remember that."
"Sure..." she felt her cheeks flush and shrunken a little with the soft touch of his hands on her shoulders as he left a brief kiss on her cheek.
"See ya" he smiled, moving away and waving his right hand.
"Bye..."
With a lot of confused feelings in her head, Gayeon remained static until she saw him leave with the car. She touched carefully where he'd kissed and smiled like a kid.
Gayeon sat on the chair in her room in front of the desk and the window, rested the elbows on the wood table and watched the moon and stars. She was just happy to imagine that someone could come to like her in a lover way. She laughed like an idiot that night. For a moment she began to remember how Jaehyun must have been feeling, pressured by the situation he was in. On the other hand, there was Yuta, the first love, and the one she'd never forget. What an end all that would take was a mystery for her yet. But for now, she preferred to think about Doyoung.
Gayeon's phone vibrated that night, but she didn't listen, and that prevented her from seeing the message that had been deleted minutes after it was sent.
Deleted message
Jaehyun
Do not get involved with Doyoung, you're going to get hurt (00:03) >
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