The phone clicked off. 

I stared at it in my hands, and a rage of emotions poured out. 

"YES! Wait, shoot, Mom is going to kill me- I'm playing in an orchestra!" I screamed. For the first time in a long time, I felt full and content: I had gotten something done that I wanted to do.

And for now, that was just enough.

Ms. Linnie threw her arms around me, and we jumped up and down like little kids again. My violin lay in the grass, suddenly the sole object that had changed my life.

"Alina!"

My name was called from behind me, and familiar dread rose over me. My mother stood behind us, hands on hips, and looking as if I had gone crazy.

I mean, maybe I was a little cuckoo to defy my mother. 

"What are you doing?" She snapped, her tone flat and sharp.

I restrained from jumping up to her and taunting that I was leaving to somewhere, without her permission, and instead let Ms. Linnie explain.

I was still half in shock, but the other half of me was giddy- with relief. Not only had I escaped my mother for a week, but I also managed to get myself in an orchestra.

Mom was something else. She was the shell of somebody who had once had everything. A marriage held together by its strings, a daughter who didn't want a certified future, I guess nothing made sense to her anymore. She didn't realize that passion and love were two different things.

I saw her eyes widen in shock and disbelief. "My daughter? In an orchestra? But she's already in-"

"No, Mom, remember I quit the last one?" I interrupted. Ms. Linnie watched us, wary. "Oh yes, that's right."

Actually, I flat-out refused to play with them. I never told my mother why, because she wouldn't understand anyway. I just came home from rehearsal one day and told her I was out.

The cello teacher brushed it off. "Well, we'd provide all the transportation, and it's just for a week. She'll have her own dormitory, be enrolled in classes- just for seven days."

Just for a week. 

I had no idea what I was getting myself into. But I was ready for something else, to escape this town. Forever, not just a week.

I narrowed my eyes at my mother, vowing that if I did come back, I would change. Into someone who had the ability to board a bus and ride away to the unknown.

I didn't realize, that was something that would happen anyways the moment my mom nodded yes.

For the next few hours, I practiced. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter, repeated until I was part of the music. My emotions were like the seasons. 

The butterflies in my stomach, not uncomfortable, but a reminder of things to come, the dread- of the possibility that my hope would be for nothing- rushing through me like a hot wave of blistering heat, accomplishment, that I was going somewhere, both literally and figuratively, and fear. Of myself, of what I could become, and what would happen.

My fingers, toughened from years of contact with metal strings, were red. My bow hold was inevitably loosening, and my feet hurt from standing so long.  The time read 8:01 pm. My father had snuck in somewhere around 6:00, and I had ignored him. Ignorant parents make an ignorant child.

"Alina? You done?" My dad called. 

"Yeah. I need to eat." I replied.

Packing my violin, I stumbled over to the dinner table, where my dad and mom were sitting. I stared in shock for a moment, then sat down like this was what happened every day.

My parents rarely ate together. It was maybe once in a month when they overlapped their meal times, but today, they were sitting beside each other, and looked like they had been talking. 

"So, Dad, you heard, right? What do you think?" My dad smiled genuinely. "It seems like a great opportunity. Just don't get hurt, Alina."

My mom met his eyes. "And it'll give us time to spend together." Dad added.

This was too much for me. 

"What the heck happened to you two?" I asked, my hunger forgotten.

They looked scared of me, but I was too confused to withhold myself. 

"You spend your time avoiding each other, and trying to take my future away from me, and now you're ready to snuggle? You pretend you care about me, but nothing- nothing has changed until now!"

I was blabbering stuff now.

Dad and Mom sat, looking every bit as shocked as me.

"We... we wanted to start over." My mom swallowed.

I couldn't take this for an answer. 

"This evening, you couldn't even say hello to me! What- I'm so lost right now. I need to go pack." I stormed off, even though I knew I should be glad that they were rekindling their friendship. But were they using me as the kindle?

To calm myself, I packed a bag full of clothes, half of which were dress clothes. As I folded the last dress in, I heard a knock on my door. 

"What?" I snapped, instinctively. I forgot I should be happier. "Sorry, do you need me?" I tried again.

"Um, actually I wanted to apologize." My mother was standing outside, in the hallway. Slowly opening the door, she peeked in. I glared at her. "Is the reason you guys decided to start acting like real parents because I would be leaving?"

I expected a sharp retort, but my mother sighed and stepped in.

"Alina, you don't know how much I love you, and I am really, really sorry for how I've treated you." She said.

I stopped looking at her. "Mom, I..." I decided to tell the truth for the first time ever. "I just need to know, do you really not want me to pursue what I want?"

What did I want to do though, violin or fame? 

Shut up, I hissed to myself. Now was not the time to start this argument between myself again.

My mom's breath stopped. "Alina, I don't want you to end up like I did. Lost and no reason to go on." 

My eyes were tearing up for some reason, why did I have to cry at all the wrong times, "So is that why you're getting together with Dad again?" 

My mom nodded. 

I let out my breath the same time my mom did too. "I love you, Mom."