When I arrived back to the appartment complex, I walked calmly through the lobby, handbag held tightly at my side. I was about to push the button for the elevator when the doors opened and Joel was standing in front of me, looking mad as hell.

"Where the hell have you been and why havn't you been answering my calls?!"

He was yelling, and I couldn't help but feel like I was a kid who got caught with their hand inside the cookie jar. I looked behind me and saw Jessica staring at us, obviously suprised at his outburst but also amused at the same time.

"Well?!"

I looked at him sheepishly.

"I told you I went shopping, jesus Joel. No need to get huffy."

And just as those last few words came out of my mouth, I knew I shouldn't have said them. He became even angrier. He took a deep breath, obviously trying to calm himself, but I knew it wasnt working.

"Your such a brat! I'm suppose to be doing my job and keeping an eye on you and you refuse to answer my calls! What the hell am I suppose to think?! I was just about to come searching for you!"

"I dont need a bloody babysitter Joel! I'm a big girl!"

He looked almost hurt.

"God you dont understand!....If anything happened to you.... I wouldn't forgive myself..."

I saw a flash of concern in his eyes and couldn't help but feel completely guilty.

"Well... I'm sorry okay? I'll answer your calls." I looked at the ground, defeated.

He sighed and gave me a warm hug. I could feel my heart flutter in my chest and stood there stiffy. I'll admit, it felt right, being there in his arms. I felt safe. I felt embarassed. I felt mad at myself for having these feelings.

"I am glad your alright Carol. You really do drive me insane."

I nodded against his chest and he released me. Our eyes lingered for a moment, then he turned away and walked over to Jessica. I turned around and got into the elevator. As soon as the doors closed and the elevator started to move, I hit my head against the doors. Why was a feeling a connection with him again? Of all people? And I have a boyfriend for Christ sake! A loving, sweet boyfriend waiting back at home for me. I needed to hear his voice. I pulled out my phone, ignored the 10 messages of missed calls from Joel and punched in Peter's number. The elevator doors opened and I walked to my appartment door. Peter picked up as I walked inside and shut the door behind me.

"Carol! Its great to hear from you."

I smiled. "I just really needed to hear your voice."

"Why? What's wrong?"

I thought about it for a moment.

"Just... feeling home sick I guess."

"Well home is missing you, and so am I. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well you could come here... but I don't think they'd let you stay..."

"Damn. Well I just wont let them know I'm coming. I'll be a ninja and secretly show up on your doorstep one day. And just to make it fun, I wont tell you when."

I smirked. "Ninja aye? Well that sounds like a plan. I can't wait to see you."

There was a small pause. "I miss you too Carol... I love you."

"I love you to. Can we talk for the rest of the night?"

"Sure."

We ended talking for the next 3 hours and when we ran out of things to say, we just sat there, listening to eachothers breathing, both refusing to hang up. This happened till there was a knock at my door.

"Babe, I'm going to have to go, theres someone at my door."

There was dissapointment in his voice. "Alright. I love you. Sleep well."

"I love you to." I regretably hung up. I walked to the door.

"Who is it?"

"The Pizza man!" It was Joel's voice.

"Sorry, I didn't order any pizza tonight."

I opened the door and he was holding two pizza boxes and a 6 pack of Jim Bean.

"Well since its 7pm and you've been talking non stop on your phone all afternoon, so I figured you havn't made yourself dinner yet." He gestured to the phone in my hand and then to the pizzas and beer.

"Look, I'm not really in the mood...." He held up his hand and cut me off.

"Please, its a peace offering." He gave me one of his 'innocent' faces.

How could I turn down free beer and free food?

I gave a defeated sigh and opened the door wider. He smirked and came inside, placing the pizza on the table, grabbing out a few plates, taking two cans of beer out and putting the rest in the fridge.

It was an actually ok night. We ate all the pizza and finished four of the beers off while watching spiderman movies. It sadly reminded me of when we use to be together. We'd spend one whole weekend of every month being lazy asses, sitting on the couch, ordering pizza and watching movies, then we would excersise together to work it all off untill the next fatty-movie-time came around. It was good times and sometimes, I missed them.

Halfway through the second movie, I sneaked a peek at Joel. He seemed intently interested in the movie, which of corse was the perfect time to strike. I poked his ribs. He spazamed and fell off the couch. I couldn't help but laugh as he looked up at me with a death glare, which turned quickly into a evil smile. He jumped on me and started to tickle me. I tried to crawl away and escape but he had me tightly pinned onto the couch. I had a giggle fit that lasted for what seemed like forever till he stoped and stared at me. I stared back. I felt myself blushing.

"What? Do I have something on my face?"

"Yea you do, here let me get it."

He leaned in close, so close that our noses where just mere inches from touching. My heart was thumping in my ears and I could feel I was blushing even more. He paused, looking over my face slowly. I knew what was coming, but I wasn't stopping it. I wasn't pushing him away. I just laid there, him ontop of me, bothing staring into eachothers eyes. Then just as I thought he was about to kiss me, he wiped his thumb over the bottom of my lip and sat up.

"There. Your all good."

I looked up at him suprised.

"What were you expecting?"

He wiggles his eyebrows and gave another innocent look. I just kept staring at him in disbelief. I hated him for playing me like that. I hated myself for caring about it. I hated myself even more for letting myself get into this situation when I had Peter. Why is life so complicated? I looked at the clock. It was 9:30pm.

"Oh would you look at the time. Its getting pretty late, I think you should be going."

"Oh come on. Don't be like that Carol."

My eyes shot daggers at him. "Like what?!"

He looked at me for a moment. "Nothing. I guess your right. I should be going."

He walked towards the door and I followed him. He reached out for the handle, froze and turned back towards me.

"I've been meaning to ask you.... have you recieved anymore notes?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I would tell you if I did." I stared at the door behind him.

"Alright."

He seemed satisfied, turned back around and left. I went straight to my bedroom and climbed under the covers. I could feel my heart aching and my head was hurting, I wasn't completely sure why. With everything going on; being separated from Peter, having confused feelings for Joel and the notes, I don't know how much longer I could last before I finally cracked.