"Dene!"

I unconsciously frowned at the noise that pierced through the thick haze enveloping me. The hell is that? Rolling over, I tried to ignore it.

"Deden!"

I was ripped into consciousness by a jolt of electricity. With a shout, I bolted up into a sitting position. Everything was a mash of indistinct colors, and my mind spun with activity. But it only lasted for a moment as the haze returned to slow and clog things. It took me a solid minute to figure out where I was, or that I was even awake. Was it a minute? I had no idea...

An orangish blob atop where I thought my knee was caught my attention, and I tried to focus on it. "Dew..?" I muttered hazily. My vision finally started to clear, and I could see that she was glaring at me. She did so for a bit longer as her whiskers continued to spark. But she didn't shock me again.

Both fortunately and unfortunately, it seemed like the Sleep Powder I'd gotten from Ina had worked, and much too well. My dreams had returned to mush, and the few scraps I could recall were too disoriented to really make out. Still, I found this to be more than a decent price for an uninterrupted night of sleep. I'd definitely have to get more.

After waking up fully, I found Guella and everyone else in the kitchen again. They were already being dismissed, so I had to awkwardly shuffle past Rudra as his frame took up most of the hall. He actually made an effort to avoid me, which I found strange but relieving.

   "I'll see if we have any stored up here," Guella said to the woman in charge of the hot spring, who nodded before leaving. She then turned to the remaining two.

   "Uh, mornin'," I offered hesitantly.

   "Good morning, Lotario," Guella said, smiling.

   Ina jumped in, smiling even wider than my grandmother. "I like your scarf," she chirped. "It looks good on you!"

   "Oh, thanks," I said as Ina nodded cheerfully. I stepped back, letting Guella know I didn't mean to interrupt and to keep talking.

"One last thing. I'm going out for a bit today, so let me know if Kamal stops by," Guella said. "He isn't supposed to come here for another day or two, but you know how sporadic he is."

   "Monthly checkup?" Ina asked, and Guella nodded.

Confusion struck me "Who's Kamal?" I asked before I could stop myself.

   "He's kinda like the owner of this place," Ina said before the dark-haired staff member beside her elbowed her.

   "That ain't true," he hissed.

   Guella shook her head. "But it is, honestly." After giving me a glance she turned back to her remaining staff. "Anyways, keep an eye out as usual." A duet of "yes" and "yep" sounded before the kitchen cleared.

   Once we were alone, I knew I had to apologize. "I'm sorry for butting in like that," I said.

   "No, you're fine," she replied as she took a seat at the table. "I knew I should have discussed this with you already."

   I remained standing, keeping a cautious eye on her. "Ina told me. You're hurting for money, right?"

   Guella nodded. "That's only part of it though. We are pressed for money, and that is due to Kamal."

   I raised an eyebrow. "Does he actually own this place?"

   "No," Guella stated firmly. But then her voice became weaker. "I own the Green Lotus. But with Kamal influencing things, he might as well own it." She sighed. "I doubt Rangi told you about your grandfather. He wouldn't admit it, but I could tell he never liked him."

   'Never liked him' would be an understatement, I thought. "He kinda did. My grandfather was a bodyguard for one of Primrose's crime lords, right?" The wariness that I'd been trying to keep in check grew, and I instinctively tensed.

   She nodded. "Kamal is the current head of the Aaeena Clan, a somewhat infamous group. They're known for magician breakouts and rescues, willing to do all they can to save a magician as long as they receive the amount of compensation they deem is worthy. They've saved many people, but just as many lives have been lost in the process in both prosecutors and bystanders.

   "Generations ago, his family saved ours from total execution by the Verelum guard after the head of our family pleaded to the Aaeenas for help. Our family was already beyond the limits the Aaeenas would be willing to go to for a rescue, but the son of the leader was close with the head of our family's son, so they took pity and saved us."

"That's awfully generous," I said. As much as I wanted to think that my suspicion was for naught, this obviously wasn't the full story. There had to be a catch.

   Guella shrugged, one side of her mouth pulling into a purse. "It was generous, though as a result, we were placed in debt to the Aaeena Clan. Unlike other rescued magicians whose debts only last for their lifetime or two or three generations, ours is indefinite, until the clan dies out or we do. One person takes the debt at a time, and we have to serve the clan in some way. What they truly want is our magic. But if you're not adept at magic and take the debt, then things become difficult. Any skills you do have are taken and used, and if you're not of use to them, everything is forfeit and we're turned in."

   I frowned. "So what's the point of rescuing a magician if they'd just be handed back over to the guard? If they're tryin' to come off as good people, then that doesn't sound like it at all."

   "I never said they were good people. They desire compensation for risking so much, and they're willing to take bounty money if their rescue is useless," she said. "Your grandfather was fulfilling his end of the debt by providing his combat abilities as well as his magical prowess. Natia would have had to take on the debt after his passing three years ago, but I elected to take it instead."

   "And since you're not a magician, what're you giving to the clan?" I asked.

  "The Green Lotus itself. Out of its eighteen rooms, ten are always reserved for those in the clan should they need a place to stay or hide out. They don't pay, so all our profit comes from the remaining eight rooms.

   "Of course, maintaining an inn isn't the cheapest, so our budget is often stretched quite thin. We hardly make enough for food and essentials, so that is why this place looks a bit... run-down." She sighed again. "I'm sorry if you were expecting something great coming here, Lotario."

   "Y-you don't have to apologize," I automatically said. To be honest, I felt almost disgusted by this turn of events. By my own accounts, Kamal was a monster. He was committing horrible acts for the sake of profit. On top of that, he was using the magicians he saved. But I could also feel irritation stinging me, which was directed at Guella. "Why didn't you tell me this before? There was all of yesterday, even the night before. I'm used to being tired now, so I would've listened," I said, feeling somewhat betrayed.

   The guilt in her eyes was immediate. "Because I was worried about how you would react to it," she said. "This is something you didn't know even before you lost your memory, so I'm sure it feels worse hearing it now. If you feel deceived, I apologize. I wasn't trying to hurt you."

   I closed my eyes and held in a sigh. I did feel deceived though, I did feel hurt. However, as much as my instincts wanted to dismiss it, there was a difference between what Rangi did and what Guella was doing. Unlike his, it didn't seem like her secret-keeping was meant to be harmful. There were so many things I'd kept from others because I was worried about how they would feel. I really couldn't fault Guella too much here. "Is there anything else like this you're keeping from me?" I asked.

   "I'm not. I can promise that," she said

   My eyes narrowed. "What about Rudra? Ina mentioned that he has a debt. I thought it was to you, but now I don't think that's the case."

   Guella nodded solemnly. "I suppose he bears mentioning as well, though it really is separate from our case. Yes, he's involved with this. He's a magician also in debt because the clan saved and hid his sister." Some of her guilt was lost to sternness as her eyes briefly became slits. "But I won't tell you anything else, since that's his business."

   "And I won't ask," I said truthfully. Silence threatened to end the conversation, and I refused to let it. "Why are you fine with this?" I asked.

   "I don't agree with it," she said. "But if it weren't for the clan, I would have never met the love of my life. I would have never had Natia, and you or Rangi would have never been in my life. Our involvement in the clan would hardly have changed anything for them, so what they did was invaluable."

   Her gaze fell to her hands, which were folded tightly on the table. "I can understand why you wouldn't want to be involved with this. Fortunately, luck has smiled upon us," she said. "You were known to Kamal, but due to the shipwreck, you were presumed dead by the clan. This means as long as you stay out of their sight, you won't be burdened by the debt. You can be happy here."

   I could feel her gaze on me as I stared at my clenched fists. I could admit that my head was spinning a bit from all of this. Still, she was waiting for some kind of response. I made myself relax. "A-all right," I lied, smiling. "I'll let you take care of it."

   The relief on her face hurt me to see. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

   I really didn't know what else to say after that. But I knew I couldn't just sit there or leave without saying something. "Uh, do you want me to come with you on your errands?" I then offered.

   "No thank you. I'll be quite fine on my own," she said, smiling back. But I could tell that smile wasn't genuine. It didn't reach her eyes.

   I found myself lazing about in my room for the majority of the day, either straightening things up or reading since I didn't know what else I could do. It was hard to concentrate, as I couldn't stop thinking about the talk I had with Guella.

   Dew could pick up on my discontent with the situation, and she seemed to share my sentiments. "De..." she squeaked sadly, laying down on one of the floor cushions.

   "I thought things were actually gonna work out for once," I sighed, taking a seat next to her. "But I guess..." They never will. I didn't want to say that aloud. Falling back into old habits would just cement this as being as negative as I thought. I could find something positive in this... right?

—~*~—

As much as I'd hate to admit it, I didn't further do or say anything about what I'd learned. I just did what Guella said and stayed out of it.

A couple days passed, each less exciting than the previous. I rarely left the inn, only going out when I was in Guella's company, and I spent my time either talking with her or the staff or helping with upkeep. It was a routine that reminded me of my daily life back in Waywyn, though there was was a distinct difference to it, and it wasn't the change in faces or scenery. It was the obvious—the dark clouds that hung over me that had nothing to do with the constant rain.

   I lay sprawled out across several of the floor cushions in my room, lightly dozing as Dew slept on my chest. I wouldn't let myself fall asleep. After all, at this point I knew another nightmare would jolt me awake without the aid of any Sleep Powder. I could also say that things were definitely more lax here, at least for me.

   A paper sat on the table beside me, blank except for a few words I'd scribbled on it. I'd been trying to write a letter to Cyryl all day now, it was almost a desperate need to. I couldn't bring myself to though. What would I say? That I found Guella? I knew they'd want to know more, and especially if I'd found the happiness I yearned for.

   I still couldn't stop thinking about the state things were in. I just couldn't, and it made my heart sink. I knew I couldn't be happy like this, and I could tell Guella wasn't either. At the same time, I couldn't stand the idea of taking the debt knowing what Kamal did. So many "couldn't"s... Where had my positivity gone? Well, I knew where it had gone. And at the moment, it seemed that it wouldn't be coming back. That thought was more painful than anything else.

   I was snapped from my doze when a knock came at the door. Before I could say something, Ina slid it open and poked her head in. "Hey, Loto," she greeted cautiously.

   "Oh, hey," I replied, sitting up. I carefully placed the still-sleeping Dew on the cushion next to me, and she stirred for but a moment before falling back asleep.

   Ina raised an eyebrow. "Are you feelin' okay? I know what they say about assuming, but you don't seem like you're the quiet, solemn type," she said.

   I was surprised she figured that out about me. I shook my head. "Nah, I'm fine. I've just had a lot on my mind," I sighed.

   A smile then snuck onto her face. "Li-ar," she said in a singsong voice as she entered the room. She sat down on the cushion next to me, and I couldn't help but back up an inch or two from how close she was. She didn't seem to notice or care, luckily. "Come on, you can tell me what's wrong," she continued, grinning.

   Her smile was weirdly contagious, something that was quite familiar to me. "All right, fine," I chuckled. This probably sounded horrible, but I was glad to have another Kari-like presence around. Even with how I tried to be now, I obviously still needed help lifting my spirits when they were down. "My grandmother told me what's really goin' on around here, and I'm not happy with it at all."

   "Yeah, the debt thing has been around since this place first opened," Ina said, her grin fading. "The Aaeena Clan isn't exactly one to mess with. But lucky you. Just have to keep quiet with the lights off when they come around, and you'll get off scot-free."

   "She also brought up Rudra," I added. "I didn't think he was a magician."

   Ina nodded. "They tried to use him as an enforcer because he's a Ground-type. But for some reason he really hates crowds and noise, so they stuck him here because he has to fulfil his debt in some way. He only goes out to help Boss with the shopping, doesn't like people much in general besides her and his sister." Her eyes widened a bit. "Don't tell him I told you, please."

   A Ground magician? That explained why he tried to avoid me before, not to mention how he had probably sensed me in the other room. "So you guys work here even though you know that a criminal organization runs this place?" I asked.

   "Yep. We've all had run-ins with crime in this city, so we know it exists. I mean, my dad used to be a thief before he met my mom," Ina said. "Really, I don't think the Aaeenas are too bad. They're one of the tamer clans compared to the others, and they're the most welcoming to magicians." She shrugged. "I'm not in debt or a magician though, so I can't say... What?" I didn't realize I was frowning until then.

   "You really support the clan?" I asked.

   "Not completely, but you can't deny the good they've done. One of the former leaders apparently single-handedly saved the only Psychic magician family living on Verelum back during the Black Purge. At least twelve magician lives were spared. Wouldn't you want compensation for risking so much?"

   I didn't answer, looking down at my hands. My stumps were starting to ache, so I absentmindedly massaged them.

   "Ignoring the pay and circumstances, this is honestly the best job I've ever worked. Boss is like the grandma I've never had, and I'm more than happy to work for her. I know the others feel the same way too."

   I could agree with that. "I've met some kind people, and she's just as generous as them, if not more."

   "It probably helps that you're her grandkid," Ina said.

   I shrugged, half-smiling. "I guess that's true too." That smile died. "How happy is she? Like, usually?"

   Ina's eyebrows rose. "Boss?" She then looked down, tensing. "Oh, well... not too much. I've only seen her smile a couple times, and that was when she'd talk about you and your brother... I'm sorry about his passing, by the way."

  "I-it's fine," I muttered.

  "But ever since you got back, she started smiling, though it's only been when you're in the room."

   Were they real smiles, though?

   "Would she be happier without the debt?" I asked.

   Ina nodded confidently. "Without a doubt. You've seen how much she loves this place, you've seen how much she loves us." She then winced. "That came out strange, didn't it? But you know what I mean. I know she wants the best for us. Still, we're fine with how things are." Her eyes slowly widened as the realization hit her. "You're not thinkin' of taking the debt, are you? You don't have to! And I'm sure Boss wouldn't let you!"

   "N-no, I'm not!" I couldn't stand the idea of taking it. Still, was it really for the best to let Guella keep it? "But I'd rather have it than her," I then said, frowning.

   "How noble of you," Ina laughed faintly. "And yeah, I get you."

   "I just feel bad for her," I said. "She's done so much for me even though I haven't been here for that long, and I don't know how I could thank her for all of this." So that was it, my affirmation of trust. I wished it would've come out under better circumstances.

   Ina shook her head. "Still, even if you did take it, what would you offer? You need to have some serious talent or skills to please the Aaeenas." She looked upset. "You're cute and all, but the clan doesn't think good looks help out that much."

   "Yeah, that'd stop any—" I paused. "Wait, did you say I'm cute?"

   A smile teased her lips. "Forget I said that," she said with a giggle. "As much as it hurts you, I think you should listen to Boss and stay out of this. If she thinks we can make this work, then we can."

   Coldness coiled around my gut, squeezing tightly. "I guess we can," I said reluctantly. But I just couldn't leave it alone!

   "C'mon, keep your chin up. You seemed so cheery before, so just loosen up and keep smiling!" Ina said.

   There's no point to smiling if they're fake! I almost retorted, but I was interrupted when my stomach growled loudly. My face heated as Ina giggled again. I tried to think how long it'd been since I had breakfast; it seemed like ages ago.

   "Yeah, I'm pretty hungry too," she said, stretching her arms above her head. "It's probably close to evening now. That means it's almost time to go home!" She whistled. "Lili, we're all done here!" The Petilil hopped out from the room's kitchen, trailing the scent of apple blossoms after her. Even though the scent made me hungrier, I couldn't go downstairs yet. "You comin', Loto?" Ina asked.

   "I'll meet you in the lobby. I wanna check somethin' first," I lied

   "All right. See you down there." She left the room and slid the door closed behind her. I waited until I couldn't hear her footsteps anymore before sighing loudly, resting my forehead on the table.

   Dew finally woke up then, or maybe she was just pretending to sleep until Ina left. She leapt onto the table and pushed aside some of my messy bangs, laying down on the table so she could see my face. "Ne?" she questioned.

   "I don't understand..." I sighed, closing my eyes. And I didn't. It wasn't just the whole thing with Kamal being a monster, it was contentedness. Why, why did happiness elude me? Yet again I found myself questioning why obtaining it was seemingly so impossible. I'd expected pain and hardship coming here, but I thought it'd finally be worth it, that here would finally fill that hollowness and make me truly happy. And yet it hadn't.

   What made it worse were the times where I thought I had been happy. The few scant days with Kari where everything was okay, the first few months with the Noseks, and even those fleeting days with Rangi. Then it would just leave, putting me back where I started. It was like a cycle at this point.

I found that the strangest thing of all of this. Even with everything negative around me, how I always had to struggle to strain positivity from them, during those times it'd seemed easier. What made those times so different? I hadn't forgotten about the bad, it was somehow put aside in spite of its presence. It was like... I'd accepted it then.

   I frowned as the thought came to me. No, that couldn't be it. After over two years of desperately pursuing this need, the answer couldn't be something so simple. There had to be another explanation. I'd had to have overlooked something else.

   The longer I thought about it, the more it actually started to make sense. I'd had my chances at being happy, and I just brushed them aside. I'd refused to accept them. Was it really this simple? It sounded familiar, oddly enough. I'd heard something similar to this once before.

"You should take what happiness you can get. Every little bit helps."

That's it... My heart ached as I recalled Kari's words. He always accepted the little, simple things, things that I would dismiss because they seemed that insignificant. But that really had been the key to his positivity and happiness. It wasn't just a matter of finding it, it was embracing what he could get, no matter how much there was.

Honestly, Rangi had been right. I wouldn't ever find real happiness, and by all accounts it was impossible to. My thoughts weren't completely unfounded in that way. Although that sounded horrible, it was unfortunately the way things were. Still, I could accept what bits of happiness I managed to scrape up. And if I wanted that here... it meant working with someone like Kamal.

   And about Kamal, what Ina said conflicted me more. By my own words, Kamal was killing people and using magicians for his own gain. That made him a monster. Though by my own words as well, one could do bad things, but that didn't make them a monster.

   Rangi did say that my grandfather went into hiding thanks to the clan, didn't he? I asked myself. And yeah, he had. Even if he hadn't, Guella said it herself when Rudra's sister had been taken in. Kamal was rescuing magicians and providing them with further safety. Adding to that, nobody said anything about the clan purposefully killing to rescue these magicians. He... really wasn't a monster then?

   I was glad I still had my head down on the table then. My head was spinning again, and I felt incredibly overwhelmed. It was like a wave had come down over me, and figuratively one had. A bit of lightness managed to lift my spirits, just a little. I'd deal with Kamal if I knew he was helping people, and more importantly, if it would make both me and Guella happier in the long-run.

   With a sigh, I stood up and stretched, grateful to be back on my feet. The gears in my mind began to turn in a different direction as I waited for Dew to climb up to her usual perch. If I did take the debt, then what could I give to the clan? There was no way I could offer defense. I could use my magic decently well, crippled as it was now, but who'd be intimidated by someone like me? And while I liked to think of myself as decently smart, I was in no way a genius. Maybe thievery? I'd first have to learn the layout of the city first as well as how exactly the guards worked and so much more...

   Unsurely, my gaze wandered about the room as I tried to think of something, and then I again looked at the Turtonator painting. Wait a second... An idea began forming. "Are you kidding me?" I said aloud, wanting to slap myself for it not being the first thing that came to mind.

   "Dede?" Dew tilted her head, puzzled, as I crossed the room to the bookshelf. I snatched my notebook from the shelf and began flipping through the pages, scanning my scribblings.

   I hadn't been able to make any real progress for a while now, and that was because I physically couldn't. You could only go so far with a hypothesis without testing it, and that was the case here. I just couldn't get my hands on any of the materials I needed to try and make Black Powder. While I still couldn't (at the moment), I had access to the most vital ingredient right downstairs... or wherever Pele did his business. Disgusting, yeah, but I'd handled worse materials before, so Pokémon crap was like another drop in the bucket.

   There were times where I wanted to question the choices and decisions I'd made. I refused to let this be one of them.

   But regardless, this could be it. What criminal organization wouldn't want access to explosives for free? Not every Pokémon could Self-Destruct or use Explosion. I'd have to lie a bit until I could get a working formula for the Black Powder. Fortunately, I was well-acquainted with lying. Then another thought stopped me in my tracks.

If this all worked out and I started producing Black Powder for Kamal, then who was to say he wouldn't use it to hurt or kill people?

   I gritted my teeth as anger began to rise in me. No, I was still doing this! Casualties were surely to be expected when handling this stuff, and again, he could not be purposefully killing people.

   Besides that, I just wanted to be happy, dammit! I finally figured out what could really make me happy, and didn't want to lose my one possible chance at it. I wanted to be selfish. The anger fizzled out as I laughed softly to myself. That really did make me a monster, didn't it? But I didn't care, not when I would be helping others by doing this, for better or for worse.

   "I think I got our solution right here," I said to Dew, showing her the notebook.

   Everyone was down in the lobby this time, including Guella. Ina seemed to be happy that she could see me again before she left.

   "See you tomorrow, Loto," she chirped. "I hope we can talk more." She winked at me before quickly following the others out.

   "It's good to see you're getting along with everyone," Guella said. "Ina seems to like you," she then added with a chuckle.

   Ya think? I asked internally. I turned to Guella. "Um, I don't wanna sound rude, but when's dinner?" I asked sheepishly.

   "I was going to start it right now," she said.

   I tried to help Guella make dinner this time, which consisted of another noodle dish in a broth but without any meat and simply topped with sliced scallions. I'd figured out that noodles were a common part of meals here, and I didn't mind it since it was still great.

   "Ina told me that your room looks nice. I suppose you've settled in there well?" Guella questioned. "If you'd like, you could work here at the inn. I won't be able to pay you much, unfortunately."

   "You wouldn't have to pay anything since you're feeding me and letting me live here in the first place," I objected, shaking my head. "But... I wanna talk about the debt again."

   Guella's eyes narrowed in concern. "What about it?"

   There was only so much tact I could approach this with. "Would you be happier without it?"

   "You had better not be thinking of taking it," she said. "You are completely free of any obligation to it, and I don't want you to have to deal with them constantly breathing down your neck."

   "I know you're not happy with this," I said.

   Her attention was now fully on me. "What would you even be able to provide, Lotario? I don't doubt that you can do great things, but they will milk those talents for all they're worth."

   If her previous responses hadn't affirmed it, then that did. "There's actually something I can do. I just can't do it properly. Yet."

   She arched an eyebrow. "'Yet?'"

   I tried to explain it as simply and quickly as I could. "In my spare time on Tranquelum, I studied a lot about science and chemistry. While doing that, I messed around with and tried to continue the work a researcher had left behind. I wasn't able to make much progress since I couldn't get any of the materials to experiment with. Now that I'm here, I can now."

   She looked highly skeptical. "And what is this 'research' you were doing?"

   "It's for a substance called Black Powder. And to put it simply, it's, uh, it's an explosive."

   Her jaw dropped. "Explosive? I'm sorry, but are you crazy? Do you know what goes into explosives?"

   "Of course I do! That's what I've been researching this whole time. Pele knows too, since he naturally produces the most important material for it."

   She frowned. "And that would be..?"

   "It's his... waste," I said with a reluctant mutter.

   Guella sighed. "You don't have to be so eloquent about it. It's shit. You know it, and I know it." My eyebrows rose. I didn't think she'd come right out and say it like that. "Your mother learned her colorful vocabulary from someone, and it wasn't Lothair," she said humorlessly. Her gaze then fell. "Though an explosive would be something the Aaeenas would be interested in..." She shook her head. "Why am I even giving this any thought? Explosives are incredibly dangerous!"

   Obviously! I thought. I didn't dare say that aloud though. "It'd be no more dangerous than risking my life trying to offer any combative abilities," I tried to reason. "At least with this, I'd just be manufacturing it for them to set off however they want, and when I'm testing it, it'll be outta the city and done safely so I don't hurt myself or others. Just think of this, Guella. If I do this, you can have the Green Lotus back. Ina and the others won't have to work more jobs, and you can be happy."

   She continued to shake her head. "No, I refuse to let you put yourself in danger like this," she stated, her voice rising.

   "So I'm gonna hide for all of my life? What'll happen when you..." I trailed off, unable to even think about it.

   She frowned, her shoulders visibly tensing. "I'm not planning on dying for at least another thirty years, Lotario!" she exclaimed. "If you are ever found out, at least by then you'll have grown up and developed another talent that is less... dangerous!"

   A red-hot bolt shot through me at that. Up until now she'd been treating me like an adult. But now I suddenly wasn't? Tauros-shit! "Oh, so I'm an adult only when you think I can be?" I muttered, almost spitting.

   Guella's brow furrowed as she started to scowl. "You may be an adult, but there is a vast difference between being eighteen and eighty."

   My breath hitched. I opened my mouth to retort, though a moment later I closed it. No, I wouldn't do this. As mad as this made me, I didn't want to fight with her. I sat back in my chair, crossing my arms. Anger brewed in me, but I refused to let it out.

   Dammit, why did I have to do this? I leaned my head back. "Look at us... barely a week together, and already we're havin' a fight," I muttered.

   Guella closed her eyes, taking a breath. She propped her elbows on the table and rested her forehead in her hands. "I'm sorry for inciting this. I just want you to be happy," she said, shaking her head.

   "No, it's my fault, so I'm sorry. But..." I sighed. "I can't be happy knowin' that you're dealing with this," I said.

   She was quiet for a bit, during which I didn't speak either. But then she spoke up. "Didn't you say you'd try to find positivity in everything?" she asked. I stiffened, grimacing as I looked away. This was different! "You can do it with this," she said as I internally shook my head. "Please, Lotario. Don't sacrifice your happiness for me."

   Happiness... I knew I could get it, but I wouldn't if things were like this. "I just can't. I'm sorry." I stood up, abandoning my mostly-full bowl. I didn't feel hungry anymore. "Goodnight, Guella."

   I headed straight for my room, trying not to slam the door as I closed it. Dew leapt from my shoulder and skidded across the table as she tried to regain her footing.

   "Ne," she squeaked, her ears drooping.

   I leaned my back against the wall, sliding down until I was sitting on the floor. Sadness added an unbelievable heaviness to my shoulders, making them slouch. It felt like I was back at square one. I looked up at Dew, frowning. "What the hell do I do?" I asked her, not expecting an answer. Of course, she couldn't give me one.

   I bit my lip, trying to swallow back the curses I wanted to spit. I thought I had it! There'd been a struggle, but I'd stood up to Rangi. I'd even held my own against Alan and Iga for a time. This, however... If I still went through with trying to gain the debt, Guella would likely be furious with me. But I didn't want this to go on.

"Ne!" Dew leapt up onto my knee, a spark of determination in her eye. "De ne!" She furiously pointed at my notebook with her tail, then at me as her whiskers crackled. I knew what she was trying to say, and she was right. There really was no use in moping like this, even if I felt it was all I could do then.

   "I know," I said with a nod. "A-and I'll still do it." Dew smiled triumphantly at my words and looked rather pleased with herself. I snickered as I gave her a thankful scratch on the neck. I wouldn't let it go on. Guella's happiness was on the line here. If she was mad, then so be it. I'd just accept what happiness I could get knowing she and her staff weren't struggling.