So yesterday when I was trying to find my mindscape

Idk for some reason I thought of like inside a cabin or something like that...
Something kinda similar it was on the show Austin and Ally I think? Idk, but like yeah

But like there was like a shadow figure or something?
It was probably just my imagination though...

I just scribbled rlly quick

So like im the pink scrible and then yeah

But it was probably just my imagination...

I don't rlly remember exactly what had happened , for some reason I think the figure had a cup or something in it's hand, unless rn I'm thinking of coffee from an Instagram post I saw or something bc idk what I'm thinking half the time...

Anyways yeah so then I tried to like imagine it again but then it was definitely just my imagination lol

I just tried again bc why not lol but like then I thought of how it almost kinda looked like a enderman in Minecraft so then when I tried again I just imagined it teleporting to me which is what happens in minecraft...

I need help finding my mindscape lol

I've been trying for 5 months now...
It's seems like just a few weeks ago I said I've been trying for 3 months, and tbh since then I kinda gave up more bc I still haven't found my mindscape and like yeah.

I have to find it eventually but like idk rlly like what I'm doing ig?

It's like

It's like playing a sport.
You understand it kinda.
You get the rules and everything
But then you just can't do it.
Concept.
Everything is concept.
Words are concepts,
Theories are concepts,
Classes, self defense, art, sport, everything is just a concept.
Time, life, death, everything, nothing, it's all concepts.
But then when you get the concept but you can't physically do it...

Like typing. You understand how to type but then you can only type 20 words perminutes. You just physically can't do it.

Or like playing a sport, you just can't do it.

Or like school. You get the concept but then you can't write it or do it.

Like doing a French braid or whatever it's called, the one that's like started at the very top and like idk but it's rlly hard and it looks rlly bad everytime I try it

Or like a fish, when you follow all the instructions on how to take care of it yet it still dies

Or like a rubics cube algorithm, you get it but then when you try it you seem to never be able to do it correctly, like you know you followed all the steps but then the rubiks cube is never perfect...

Or like writing a book. How you know what you wanna write about but then you have writer's block.

Or like drawing or coloring, or writing at all. Like you think you understand how to make it look nice but then you fail dramatically bc you don't know what you did wrong.

Or like sharpening your pencil and you sharpen it correctly but then it breaks and then youre over there for 10 minutes trying to sharpen it, lol

Ok, I think that's enough examples for everyone to understand what I'm saying, lol
Like jocks, nerds, preppy people, pretty much everyone should get at least one of those examples I hope, lol

It's like when you never get the eye liner perfect but you feel like ur doing it right.
Or like how you try your best in school yet you still make a B or if that's good to you then you till make a C or a D or even an F no matter how hard you try.

Ok, enough examples, lol,

But like idk what I'm doing wrong in trying to find my mindscape, lol

Like omg I just typed like a million times bc I can't spell lol

Like I just need help with it but idk what I rlly need help with??

Omg it's 11 pm and I have 2 tests tomorrow and I haven't studied I gtg watch YouTube videos on Spanish past participios bc my Spanish teacher sucks, hasta luego mis amigos! Yo estoy aburrida...

Aburrida sounds like a burrito, lol

(That means bored btw)

Someone at Winn Dixie thinks I'm evil, mwhahaha! Like I never even did anything to him he just says I'm evil bc I look innocent and idk what he means, lol, he's weird, but he says I scare him so that's always nice to hear, haha
I don't even know him
And people keep saying I smile alot. I never smile. Like my friends the other day said I smile all the time and I'm always rlly happy.

I like never smile though. And even the Winn Dixie person said he sees me in school and I'm always rlly happy.

I'm not though, lol, school sucks, I'm probably just laughing at my phone or something, or like on Instagram or here or something lol

You estoy muy aburida y yo tengo que estudiosa para la Espanol y Ingles examens mañana... Pero yo no quiero estuadia para estudiosa es muy aburrida y son Las once de la noche y yo no se todos. Ayudarme por favor, yo no se que yo hago...

Yo leo en Espanol muy rapido que en Ingles, y Ingles es mi lengua (that's language right? No that's tongue, whatever, idk what language is, lOl) primevera.

How'd I do? Lol I can't speak Spanish sorry if I said anything wrong lol

I am bored and I'm only in Spanish 2 and my teacher sucks.

Anyways I need help with my mindscape if anyone's got any tips it's be very much appreciated!