Stay - post malone = 💕😣😍😭☹️❤️

///

The pizza guy came about ten minutes after Jimin finished reading your speech which was a long while ago and he finds himself sitting on his couch, across the room from you, leaning back onto the cushioned surface while cradling his casted arm.

He sat their contemplating.

His thoughts swarmed around every possible thing that could happen between the both of you.

He then moved his thinking elsewhere. He thought about how much he admired himself from a few months ago.

Back when he did everything for you and your well-being.

That was his main purpose at the time.

And now he can't help but feel so god-damned ashamed for his selfishness over the past few months.

He didn't even notice that you haven't been eating! Who the hell doesn't notice that about someone you see everyday?

Himself, apparently.

And now look at you. You're so frail physically, so drained mentally and so worn out emotionally.

You're practically just a hollow shell of a person now.

And Jimin feels responsible for every aspect of that.

He doesn't know how to reverse all of that though.

He's sitting alone, eyes focused on you, wondering how to fix what he's done.

He was so proud of himself when he was lost in the words of your speech, forgetting that everything outside those papers existed.

He saw how you felt about him though you're own thought out sentences that were enlaced with your raw emotions.

"Asking me what was wrong"

"Someone to listen to my problems and offer comfort when needed"

He can't remember when was the last time he simply asked how you were, or asked about how school or work was going.

He will never forgive himself for everything he has done, or has been lacking in doing.

He sees a hand go up in the air and his eyes dart over to you.

You were stretching, your limbs going every which way which was weird since you slept in a ball. It looked like you were trying to be as small as possible.

Your arms and legs then went back to their original position.

Your eyes cracked open and your sight was blurry. You sat up hesitantly and rubbed your eyes, trying to rid the tiredness.

You looked around to see Jimin looking at you.

The hairs on your arms stood up.

You didn't like his gaze on you. Not that it was an intense look or anything, it was actually a soft and kind one, you just didn't like the feeling.

"Hello" he spoke softly.

"Hi" you said quietly and bought after.

You had to look away, really not liking the thought of him looking at you.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, almost to see would you eat after figuring out the state you were in currently.

You shook your head, as Jimin expected.

"I'm going to go back to my dorm" you said almost lifelessly and Jimin jumped immediately.

"Woah, woah, I don't think that's such a good idea" he said stopping you from getting up.

He didn't touch you though, not wanting to trigger anything.

"I want to go" you said feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

"I know, I'm not trying to keep you hostage here. I just don't think that's what you should be doing now"

"I have work soon" you spoke softly.

"Maybe you should call in sick-" he suggest before you cut him off.

"-no, I don't call in sick" you said. "That's not something I do"

"But you're not able for it right now"

"What do you mean I'm not up for it?"

You spoke in a quiet tone, but at that you got your voice across.

"I mean, you just had a panic attack and collapsed to sleep from exhaustion and now you're awake ready to run around again. You need to calm down and think" he explained.

"No, I need to go to work. Slowing down and thinking isn't going to pay my bills" you stood up from the bed and walked around Jimin.

Jimin just sighed as you made your way to the door.

"And I didn't have a panic attack" you said lastly before closing the door and walking to your dorm.

You weren't really the type to slam doors.

Jimin just let his head tilt down.

You were gone into denial, but it was understandable since you were probably embarrassed.

Jimin nibbled on his lip in thought.

He didn't know what to do. Should he follow? Or stay put?

He decided he would gather his thoughts and then head off to see you at work.

Every time he closed his eyes, even if it was for a mere millisecond to blink, he was brought back to the fear that he had witnessed in your eyes.

You looked to helpless. It was a hard thing to even witness, let alone go through.

Jimin knew there was more to your life than what you told him, you shaded over a few spots. He didn't mind that though, he just wanted to erase those parts from your thoughts and replace them with better memories.

And the fact that it was the actions that Jimin did were what made all those horrid memories returns kills him.

He will never forgive himself for the person he he has grown to become.

///

You were cold.

Fingertips feeling icy.

And even in a warm, heated diner that you've been moving around in, you're still cold.

You were at a loss of warmth and love.

But you refused to believe that, that was the reason why you felt this cold.

You began scratching your arm on the developing red patch. The only thing you could think of to explain the constant scratching was that you may be getting a nervous rash or something.

You used to get them when you lived with your dad, but you haven't gotten one in months.

It's unsettling to think they're coming back.

"You alright?" A voice snapped you back to reality.

You turned to face the voice. "Hongjoon?" You asked.

"Long time no see" he grinned. His eyes panned down to your arm. "Are you okay?" He asked.

"Hmm?" You then followed his gaze to your arm and you put your hands down by your sides. "Yeah, I'm fine. What can I get you?"

"Strawberry milkshake please" he smiled.

You wrote it down and proceeded to make the drink.

You placed the pink drink in front of him a few minutes later.

"Thank you" he said to which you nodded. "So what's wrong? You aren't acting like your usual self" he spoke after taking the first up his milkshake.

You just shook your head. "I don't want to talk about it" you answered, your hand returning to your arm to scratchthe redness even more. "But thanks for your concern, you're a good guy" you enthused.

"I try my best" he grinned sweetly.

"Order eleven" Yugyeom said from the kitchen.

You got the order and brought it to the table. Meanwhile, Jimin came into the diner and saw you working so he sat in his usual spot.

As he sat down, he noticed Hongjoon sitting nearby.

"She's okay right?" Hongjoon asked.

"Yeah" Jimin answered.

You walked back to the counter and was surprised to find Jimin now sitting down in front of you.

"What can I get you?" You asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine" he smiled meekly.

You nodded and looked at the clock, noting the time. You went to your bag and got Jimin's tablets.

You placed them in front of him and got a glass of water.

"Thank you" he said taking the medication.

He wanted to talk to you and explain some things, but he didn't exactly want to do it in front of Hongjoon.

He side eyed Hongjoon who was peacefully slurping his milkshake.

You walked away into the kitchen to talk to Yugyeom about changing an order.

The minute the door swung closed, Jimin turned to Hongjoon. "Can you please leave, I really need to talk to y/n" he said eagerly. "Not to be rude, but I really need to. I'm begging you" Jimin pleaded.

Hongjoon looked at him skeptically. "How do I know you're not just going to do something bad to her and upset her even further" he eyed Jimin skeptically.

"Because I love her more than I love life itself" he argued.

Hongjoon scoffed. "Please. I can almost bet my house that you're the reason she's like this"

"I just want to make everything better, now for the love of god, please leave so that I can do so"

Hongjoon contemplated for a few moments. "Next time I see her, there better be a smile on her face and a skip in her step, otherwise I'll hunt you down personally" he warned.

Jimin nodded.

"I may not know y/n all that long, but I do know that that woman deserves nothing but the top quality living in every aspect of life" he spoke. "And you sir, do not seem to be providing that"

He stood up and left the diner, after leaving the money he owed on the table. This left Jimin to sigh and nod in agreement with him even though Jimin knew he couldn't see it.

You walked back out a few moments later and was surprised to see that Hongjoon wasn't there any longer.

You didn't ask about it, you just took the money and put it in the till and then took the tip he always gave you and left it in the tip jar.

It was always a small tip, but you were always grateful none the less.

"Y/n?" Jimin called and you turned your attention to his figure. "I need to talk to you" he admits.

You sigh and try to calm your nerves as well as scratch the raven in your arms.

"I need to talk to you too" you spoke gently and there was a brief moment of silence. "Can I go first?" You asked and he nodded acceptingly.

You had been thinking for awhile, contemplating every aspect of your life these days, while you were working and you came to a few conclusions that may help solve some of your problems.

You were looking down at your shaky hands and you panned your vision up to Jimin.

You didn't even know how to phrase this, how to explain or justify it in a way that he would understand and not misinterpret what you're trying to get across.

You scoffed at your own thoughts before even saying what was in your mind. Never had the thought of what you were going to say crossed your mind before.

It was unbelievable really.

You truly would've bet your soul that neither of you would do this.

But it was what was in the best interests for both of you and no matter how heart breaking it may be, you had to do it before everything turned for the worse of things.

You started tearing up before you could even realise.

Jimin reaches over the counter and went to hold your hand, but you flinched your hand away.

Your skinship hasn't been great since that panic attack.

Jimin felt so worthless, not being able to comfort you without you flinching.

"Y/n" he spoke deeply.

"Jimin we can't do this anymore" you spoke with a small rasp in your voice.

Now Jimin wasn't going to play dumb and say "we can't do what?", he knew exactly what you were talking about.

"No, of course we can. We are just going through a rough patch" he tries to explain.

"A rough patch?" You scoff. "Jimin I've been experiencing nothing but back to back heartbreak over the past few days. I keep thinking that you couldn't be doing anything worse than the bad thing that was presented to me, and then you manage to top it" you explained.

"I know, but I'm going to be better now. I promise" he pleads.

"Jimin, you know I can't count on that. I was a fool to trust those promises in the first place"

"Are you even listening to yourself?" He spoke gently, a tear slipping from his eye. "This is you and me that we are talking about. We're the ultimate dream team! I can tell you with upmost honesty that I had never believed in soulmates until I met you. Y/n, you are my other half! You're what my heart desires all the damn time" he admits to you.

"You act as if my heart isn't the same" you say softly.

"If your heart was the same you wouldn't be braking us apart" he spoke seriously.

"We are tearing each other to shreds. What other choice do we have?" You explain to him. "You have got to understand that I'm saying this with a heart that loves you. I want what's best for me as well as you"

"If you loved me you would be fighting for us, not tearing the both of us apart so that we can fix ourselves" he states. "Well to be frank with you, you're the only one who can fix me" he admits to you.

You look at him for a few moments, thinking over what he has said to you.

You're the only one who can fix me.

"Maybe that's the problem" you state.

"What?" He asks confused.

"Maybe we are overly dependent on each other"

"That's not what I meant for you to get from that" he sighs.

"But it's true" you say quietly.

"So we aren't together anymore? That's it? I met you nearly a year ago, I fell so madly in love with you, truly believing that you were the only one for me, the only one I'd ever want and I could see a future as bright as day with you and me together. I could see you in a white wedding dress walking down the isle to meet me with your love so that we could promise to be together forever. I could see me playing with a little boy and girl that we would have in the future while you nurse a new arrival that we'd have some day, a little family of us all together. I could see us growing old and celebrating one of our many grandchildren's birthdays together" he admits to you with a face full of tears that were slowly dripping from his eyes.

"I'm not saying it's forever" you tell him.

"So I'm just supposed to wait around for you in the hopes that you do actually come back to me?, when you could actually meet someone else and grow up to have the same life the I had planned out for us. Not you and him" he's growing frustrated, you can see it. "You're My Muffin for god sakes" he whispered.

You understand where he's coming from, of course you do, but you don't know what else you can do.

"You don't think I've already considered those things? You don't think I've considered that I could take too long to figure myself out and that you'd find somebody else? Because I have! But I can't just sit here with you and pretend like I'm fine and getting better when I'm not" you explain to him. "But I'd rather see you happy with someone else than beating yourself up when your with me" you admit to him truthfully.

"But I'm not going to find someone else y/n! How could anyone in this entire universe compare to you? I'll even give you the answer: They can't! You're incomparable!" He tells you.

"I'm sure there is plenty more fish out there for you, because right now you're stuck with a very sad turtle who wants to walk a lone, slow path" you absentmindedly say.

Jimin sits back.

You breathe out deeply.

"So what do I do now?" Jimin asks.

You wipe you're tears before speaking up.

"That's not up to me, I'm not your girlfriend anymore" you speak softly before going into the staff toilets to cry your eyes until you physically can't move.

TBC

A/N: can someone please give me money?, I'm so broke and I have to save so I can buy a plane ticket to England to see BTS.

Because I ain't missing them again.

Lots of love xx