CHAPTER 12 ━━━ SILENT SAYINGS

REMUS' EYES FLUTTERED OPEN, the common room was quiet as he felt the couch beneath him. He must've fallen asleep there. He moved the small black jacket that covered him to the side as he took in his surroundings. He noticed Peter's body, splayed up beside the base of the sofa as a few other students slept on the floors and in chairs as well.

  He tried getting up but as he did his head pounded and his sight felt splotchy, making him want to immediately sit back down. He heard another student cough in the distance, but it felt as if it boomed in his ears. He was extremely hung over. Still, he pushed himself to stand, stretching his arms he nudged Peter with his foot. The boy opened one eye behind his mousy hair, upon seeing Remus he fully awakened, sitting up as he yawned. "Morning, Moony," Peter said, standing up.

  "Morning," Remus grumbled back. The two looked around the room in search of two familiar boys, yet to no avail they could not find them. "Where'd you reckon they'd be?' Peter asked as They tip-toed over bodies and glasses. Remus carrying the black jacket along with him. They swiftly left the portrait hole as they made their way to the moving staircases.

  "Maybe the lake or just the dorm," Remus suggested, quickly stepping down the staircase. Peter rubbed his eye, "Dorm the day after a party? Be serious, Remmy," Peter averred, "We'll just check the lake and if they're not there we'll go for food," he turned to Remus silently asking if it were alright. Remus hastily nodded as the two remained silent the whole way, everyone knew how angry Remus could get when he was hung over.

  Every step irritated Remus as the sounds blared in his ears, especially the giggles and chatter of other students passing by. Even the soft pats on his shoulder from Peter slightly frustrated him. They made their way to the last courtyard, finally seeing James and Sirius walking ahead of them. Peter sprinted up behind James before slightly jumping as he tackled him from being, Remus stifling a chuckle.

  "Bloody hell Wormtail, one day you're going to choke me to death," James laughed, the two were able to catch up to their friends, all four in sync with their stride.  "You two left us in the common room!" Peter said biting the inside of his cheek. James wrapped his arms around Sirius' and Peter's shoulders, "I swear we've just woken up not too long ago!" James voiced, "Anyways, Pads and I wanted to work on figuring out the jinx for the map," he said, Sirius pulling out the opened piece of parchment in front of them.

  The four boys had been working on a map that could track where people were in Hogwarts ever since their successful animagi transformation, just to keep them safe when transporting themselves to the shrieking shack some nights of course. Currently, the map was open, you could see bits and sections of it that had not been drawn in yet, that was Remus' job. Lately two of the boys were figuring out a way to keep the map fully hidden if anyone were to do a revealing charm on it. James had thought of a few quippy words to appear but the boys had not figured out how to execute it just yet.

  The boys slightly ran from the momentum of going downhill, trying to get to their usual place right on the edge of the Black Lake. Out of the corner of his eye had noticed Mila sitting at a tree with her own friend, that was then when he remembered the black jacket he had been carrying around this entire time. He paused in his steps turning to his friends, "I need to return something, I'll be back real quick." he uttered swiftly turning around and making his way towards here while his friends eyed and smirked as they realized where he was off too, but still continued walking, minding their own business.

  Ruby was first to notice Remus walking their way, Mila was too occupied with babbling on about some new record her brother had mailed for her. "Ah, hello Mr. Remus Lupin," Ruby boldly greeted, quickly grabbing her friend's attention, she snapped her head to glance over her shoulder. She had to crane her neck high as she took notice of how tall he really was and how he was looming over them. He opened his mouth, softly letting out a breath, "Hi...?" he said, unsure if he was directing it towards Mila or her friend. 

  Mila gave him a soft smile, "Hi."

  Remus shifted from foot to foot, "I just wanted to-"

  "Say, you are M' are good friends, eh?" Ruby quickly quipped from the side.

  "Well, uhm-" Remus had become slightly angry at the fact she had continuously interrupted him, but found it in himself, somehow, to remain calm.

  "Because you should come with us to the next Hogsmeade trip for Mila's Birthday," She offered, Mila looked at her with a weary eye, "Ruby..." she muttered just loud enough for her friend to hear.

  She didn't want to make Remus uncomfortable or put him on the spot, finally, she focused her attention back to Remus, "Only if you want to, of course," she added as a note, letting him know she was fine with him saying no.

 Instead of an answer he just cocked his head, "Why didn't I know your birthday was soon?" he asked. 

  Mila looked down slowly shaking her head, "Ruby's kind of exaggerating it a bit, it's not soon it's actually a whole month away, April 29th," Mila corrected. 

  "Then I'll be there," Remus licked his lips while his thumb fiddled with the black piece of fabric in his hand, "Anyways I just came to give you your jacket back."

  "Oh!" Mila said getting up. Remus outstretched his arm as Mila took her zip-up from him, a brightness seemed to follow her as she smiled looking up to him, "Thank you." 

  Remus blinked, "Yeah, of course, uhm, they're all waiting for me so, bye," he expressed awkwardly, his thumb gesturing behind him. 

  "Bye," Mila replied, sitting back down beside Ruby as the two watched him walk away.

  "He's sweet," Ruby randomly mentioned, tucking her hair back behind her ears. 

  Mila looked to her curiously, "Yeah, he is."

  "I'm actually surprised he's even friends with you."

  Mila's face fell at the remark, of course, "Why are you surprised?"

  "He's practically the Casanova of Gryffindor, half the girls I know have even a small thing for him," Ruby turned to Mila with a coy smile, "We're all just sheltered because we only hear Serenity talking about Sirius Black all the time," she giggled latching her arm around Mila's neck, "C'mon it's cold we're going back to the dorms." The two girls got up, turning around and preparing themselves to walk up, Mila taking a quick glance behind them as she saw Remus in the distance by the lake huddled up with his friends.

  As they entered the halls Mila couldn't help but question, "Is he really that liked?" 

  Ruby rolled her head from side to side, "Maybe not that liked, but definitely a lady attractor, same thing all the time though, they all like him because he's tall and handsome." As they turned a corner a lightbulb seemed to have gone off in Ruby's head, "Oh! I forgot to tell you! Remember my aunt? The one in the fight with her husband."

  "Yes!" Mila said eagerly, Ruby always had family drama.

  "I got a letter from my cousin a few days ago, turns out her husband was cheating on her with her old schoolmate, so they're all working on getting a divorce!"

  "Oh my god! I knew it, I literally told you he was cheating!"

  "Yeah, yeah, whatever, but he wants to keep the kniffler that my aunt claims to have only taken care of, so they're fighting, about a kniffler!" she giggled. The two continued to discuss the topic all the way to the portrait hole. Upon entering their dorm Mila immediately made her way to her bed, lifting the mattress slightly and shoving the box, which too her relief was still in her pocket, under it. Yet to her dismay, Ruby saw the small action, giving a disapproving sigh, "You need to stop smoking M'" she scolded, taking out the studs in her ears.

  "Hey you can't say anything, you smoke all the time!" she snapped back, realizing how hypocritical she was being as she was just telling someone to quit smoking just last night.

  "I do it maybe like once every three months at a party, that's loads different from smoking six times a month in like the middle of the night." Ruby snorted, the sentence causing Mila freeze, but Ruby had continued, "Why do you smoke in the middle of the night? Like I'm a light sleeper I see you doing it all the time." she asked, sitting herself on her own bed taking off her ankle boots.

  "It's nothing," Mila said flatly, fixing her sheets.

  Ruby stared at her for a second. She was never one to push or press on. She let out another sigh as she shoved her shoes beneath her bed.

  "Fine, whatever."

  "No because if any other player would  somehow get the Beater bat it would be a foul, Padfoot!"

  "Ok, but I'm saying if it were on accident, and it got knocked out and another player was below that beater and it landed in their hands, while the bludger is coming towards them, and then hit it and whatever and it hit someone else, it would still be ok and count because it was on accident!"

  This argument had been going on in the library for a while, and over the course of all four boys got a whole history lesson on all of the rules of quidditch. A few old charms textbooks were laid out open on the table in front of them, they had been trying to figure the best combination of spells to use. Obviously, they had all gotten off track.

  "If I recall I am the one on the quidditch team, and surely by next year I will be team captain, so I think I know what I'm talking about when it comes to fouls!" James stated, Sirius' jaw merely dropped. "Ok well, who helped you train so that you could even get on the quidditch team!" Sirius asked, James leaned back in his chair crossing his arms as the sweetest most innocent smile came upon his face.

  "Peter."

  "And?"

  "Remus."

  Sirius scowled towards his friend, James grinning in a taunt back at him. Remus looked up out of his daze to James upon hearing his name to Peter's notice. "And what are you thinking 'bout, Moony?" Peter asked with a small smirk. Remus looked at him furrowing his brows, he honestly could not remember what he was thinking about. "Y'know Padfoot told me something last night?" Peter mentioned, Sirius diverted his attention to the two, his scowl instantly turning into a smug smile as he remembered what he had told Peter. "What?" he asked wearily, he did not like the smirks plastered on their faces at this moment.

  Peter cleared his throat, "He made the grand gesture of shouting my ears off and he told me that your 'crush on the moon girl was real, like really real' " the boy teased, Leaning in on his elbows.

  Remus tried making the way his eyes widen very subtle, "I said nothing of the sort," he denied.   

  Sirius across from his giggled, "No, no! I think I remember that! You called her pretty and you said yes when I asked you if you had a crush on her!" Remus' brows stayed furrowed as his lips were slightly down turned.

  "No I remember it too! I just said 'ok' to every question you asked so you'd go away!"

  Sirius shook his head variously, "When I asked you if she was pretty you said 'yeah' and then when I asked you if you would be her boyfriend you said, 'ok' and then when I asked you if you have a crush on her you said 'sure'!" Sirius gleefully admitted, deepening his voice each time he imitated Remus. The ragged-haired boy pursed his lips, keeping quiet he reached across the table grabbing a charms textbook book and flipping to a chapter on R-lettered spells, keeping his eyes down as he began scanning through all the spells.

  The three boys sitting around him snickered, the silence from their friend telling them all they needed to know.

  It was late, everyone had been preparing for bed. James was shoving everything he needed back into his bag for tomorrow, frantically asking his friends where his transfiguration textbook had gone. Peter had been going around the room looking for it as well as picking up any dirty clothes and shoving them into their shared laundry bin. Everyone assumed Sirius' hangover kicked in at this time of night as he had locked himself in the bathroom and had been in there for quite a while, but of course, that wasn't the case.

  Sirius sat on the toilet seat, a letter in his hand. The washroom was the only place he could go to right now so as to not be interrupted. By now he had read the print on the paper at least 40 times over. The wear and tear of folding it, stashing it, and bringing it back out again made the paper weak and yellow in just a matter of a few months,

  He loved how free it made him feel, it detached him from his life of sorrow, it was a letter that let him run wild. But at the same time, it trapped him with one single question. A question that direly needed an answer or else he might as well just be lost. He needed a solution, a solution that would truly grant him his freedom. But how do you find the solution if there are no options for any possible routes?

  He stayed in the washroom for 30 minutes, reading over the same words, sentences, and paragraphs over and over. He didn't know why he kept rereading it so much, was it that he wanted to bask in his newfound tranquil? But with the joy he gained from it, it caused him stress, he had told no one. What would they say? What would they do?

  Eventually, he left the bathroom, his mates asking him what took him so long but he availed them to no real answer as they all shrugged it off. Once the lights were out and he could hear snores, no movement, and was confirmed everyone was asleep he stashed the paper in his pillow case, closing his eyes for some rest.

  Across Gryffindor Tower, Lily Evans' eyes stayed open, there were only a few occasions where she couldn't sleep. She had gotten word back from Professor McGonagall, Professors had discussed her decision briefly and decided a dance would be nice for the weekend after exams week. Meaning she had months and months to prepare for the June festivity, but she couldn't think of that now. She had lost her friend only a couple of days ago and she realized the toll it took. Usually, she'd be with Severus for a short period of time over the weekends, just to catch up as they'd gotten distant that year, but she didn't today. She didn't know whether to be happy or solemn. In fact, she didn't know why she continued being friends with him at all up until this point, she'd seen how bad his character had gotten over their years at Hogwarts. Hanging out with the kids of death eaters, kids who couldn't even look at her without calling her names.

  Still, she tried shutting her eyes tightly so that the noises and the light couldn't keep her awake. Just a few dorms down Mila also laid her in bead. She focused on the tick, tick, tick from the alarm clock, counting down the seconds until her body finally would let her rest, that was until she felt the part of her mattress beside her go down as a body laid down beside her. Mila turned to her other side as she was met with a side view of Ruby. "Can't sleep," Ruby explained to the silent question. 

  "Well you're going to have to sleep, we have actual school tomorrow," Mila whispered playfully, Ruby simply sighed staying silent.

  "Hey M'?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Are you ok?" she asked. Mila breathed looking up.

  "I'm fine, thank you, Rubes."

  "It's just,- I didn't mean to make you mad or like uncomfortable or anything today. We get worried- or at least me a little bit, I'm sure Reese does too, I mean you never go out with us usually, and now all of a sudden..."

  Mila chuckled under her breath, "Ouch, I do go out! But, you didn't make me mad, it really is nothing." Ruby pursed her lips smiling, she sat up and walked herself away to her own bed, "Well, G'night M'"

  "Night."

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A/N

I HONESTLY CAN'T CARE FOR THIS CHAPTER I'M SORRY. It took me a week to write, not because it was huge and wow factor, but because I actually didn't know what to do for this chapter, I needed something to have time progress, and build up little moments for future story lines, so that's all this chapter is.

Like if we take what this whole act is going to be in retrospect you honestly could've skipped over this chapter, so I'm sorry for wasting you time, BUT I PROMISE NEXT CHAPTER WILL AT LEAST HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHINGGG, and then after that one or wtv, each chapter of this act/part of the book will at least have one lil eventful thing!! BUT OMGGGG around 10 more chapters till the end of act I!!

(It's been 9 months since I wrote this chapter, why did the ending make me sad a bit, LIKE NO GIRL YOU'RE NOT OK. And I happen to like this chapter, like I really doubt myself sometimes tf)

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