Cas and I were one of the first to depart. I'd barely spoken throughout the meeting. As one of those who was supposed to 'attend' the family 'gathering', my life was also under threat. Police had been in contact with my family while I was gone, and now there was a constant watch outside of the house. It would soon be switched with more, permanent royal security as soon as the paperwork was completed. 

Woah, I guess we're important. I thought to myself. 

Cas held my hand tightly throughout the briefing. Sometimes he'd move from supportive squeezes to soft massages. Sometimes he'd hold onto a single finger. 

Is he afraid of losing me? I'd thought to myself. 

It wasn't the first time that Cas had come close to losing me. There'd been many different times in many different ways. Perhaps the direct threat on my life made it a lot more real now. 

My security was being boosted. In Cas and I's engagement period, I'd have a personal guard. Cas' security would also have a new member. Within palace bounds, we'd be free to move however we pleased and without a concern. But as soon as we stepped outside? We'd be watched. 

It was an unusual thought, but one that Cas seemed accustomed to, and one that I would need to get used to as well.

I briefly wondered if there'd be a time, just Cas and I, where we'd be able to keep to ourselves. 

Cas' change in security came with easy agreement. As the youngest member of the family, some disregard had been given to Cas. He had many brothers in front of him who were all more than able to take up the royal line. And Cas had used his relative minority status to its advantage. Between his own military experience and his quiet identity, Cas normally was able to argue away some of the protections that were assigned to the other members of the family. 

That changed now. Vlad would continue to stay with Cas for majority of the time, save for a few occasions. Now, his movements would be completely monitored. He would have a constant Protection Force following him, wether in person or digitally. Cas shuffled uncomfortably at the arrangement. I knew why; we both valued our privacy.

And while there was both good and bad news to be taken from the meeting, Cas moved quickly. He led me back with a fluid efficiency. Occasionally, he'd look back to make sure I was still there. 

The security wing of the palace was on the outskirts. As a result, our escape took a little while to return to the guest residences. Cas had a playful grin on his face as he pulled me along. He rounded a corner and pulled me into an alcove with him. 

"I've been waiting to do this all night,"

Our kiss began with a brush. He placed his hands on my cheeks, drawing me closer. The alcove was shaped like the glass of a Catholic Church. In it, was the lifeless face of one of Cas' many ancestors. He stared triumphantly as Cas drew closer. My heart thrummed in my chest, overjoyed  to finally fulfil the moment that he'd implied earlier. 

We'd barely kissed when Cas jerked up. There was the sound of a door closing around around the corner!

"Keep moving," Cas whispered excitedly, pulling me along. I giggled at the silliness of it all. 

We raced through the hallways, only being chased by a random maid who didn't know we were there. Eventually, we reached what I realised, was Cas' room.

"Come on," Cas opened the door, still in a secretive mood and pulled me inside. He didn't stop there, clicking the door shut. Taking both of my hands, he pulled me closer, his kiss significantly more passionate. 

An eternity felt like seconds. Cas was passionate but kind, firm but gentle. He held me close but was willing to let me go. When we finally broke, Cas planted a kiss on my forehead. Then he gently pulled away, still holding one of my hands in his. 

"After we get married," He promised. 

"Yeah," I teased, "save something for the wedding night," 

The two of us collapsed into a fit of giggles, both falling onto his king-sized bed. I looked around. It was a beautifully, simple room. A little closer to the modern side. It was set in tones of blue and white with accents of gold. Nothing like the dramatic epic that was my room. 

Aside from Cas' bed and ensuite, there was a desk, a barely visible kitchenette, a bookcase and two doors that led out onto the balcony. It reminded me of the Country Style magazines that I'd occasionally flicked through at the library. 

The library, where I'd often yell at Alek and his friends from the outside area.

Alek.

I let out a sigh.

"That was a big sigh," Cas commented. I clenched my eyes shut, choosing my next words carefully. It was the moment of truth. One that I'd been avoiding for too long.

"I don't know how to say this without you getting mad at me," I sighed. I looked to Cas, hoping that he would understand. 

"Oh-kay, now you've got me worried," Cas chuckled.

I took in a deep breath.

How do I say this? I wondered, how can I put years of drama in a way that will make sure he doesn't get angry with me?

"I think I personally know a Level Five Operative in the Insurgency," At that, Cas shifted, sitting up. I did too.

"What do you mean...?" Cas' words were slowly spelt out. 

"One of the locations of a potential Level Five Operative. I-It was at his house,"

"That doesn't mean that he's-,"

"I know he is," I confessed, "like, it's not like he told me outright but he-,"

"But you know," Cas finished my ramble, "how do you know?" 

"He came to my house, after I got shot. My family put on a celebration for the members of our church. We're all pretty close. That night, he turned up and we went for a walk,"

"Did he...?"

"He didn't ask me to do anything. I don't think he even really knew what I was doing,"

"How do you know him?" Cas asked slowly. 

"He's my oldest friend," My words were a whisper, my eyes were stinging in an act of betrayal, "we grew up together, we did everything together. Both of our families were certain that we'd marry,"

"Then what happened?" Cas gently pushed. If he wasn't a prince and a soldier, he would've made a solid journalist. 

A lump got caught in my throat. I clenched my eyes shut and breathed out, struggling to keep my breaths even. 

"We went to the formal together. It was sweet. I was expecting him to propose. Seventeen years of build up and it was going to happen. But he announced that he was joining the military and just disappeared,"

"What happened on the walk?" Cas was serious, giving barely anything away. It made my stomach flip even more. 

"He proposed," Cas stiffened, his hands clenching, "almost two decades I'd waited for him. And I-I turned him away,"

"Why?" Cas' words were a whisper.

"Because I love you," I stumbled over the words. The hasty confession. The tears spilled over and I made no motion to wipe them away, "because I love you," 

The second re-affirmation came out more as a whisper than anything. Cas' face was a mixture of emotions. Of shock, and of a swelling pride. Of cheer, but of also a deep betrayal. Of peace, but also a churning conflict and worry that needed to be addressed. He looked away, his face still flashing with the various points of the revelation. 

"Did he tell you anything?" Cas' words were carefully chosen.

"He was trying to boast," I admitted, the words falling out of my mouth without almost any filter, "his mother is King Miezko's sister, so if none of your brothers or sisters prove to have an heir, he'd have the claim. He spent some time in the military but didn't say how much. He's left now. He wants for Apolia to open up and help out neighbours. He blames Chesno on a lack of international trade. He'd rather be an elected leader than a monarchy but seems to use his bloodline anyway,"

I dragged in a breath.

"That's it," I sniffled, my tears freely falling, mixing with the mucus on my upper lip. I would definitely be a sorry sight to see, "we talked about nothing else,"

I couldn't bear to see Cas' reaction. The shame rolling off of me in waves. We were set to be married. And not just any kind of marriage, but one with royal stakes. Trust was more than fundamental, any slip could be a fall. Cas had every right to call off everything.

So when his lips passionately connected to mine, it was a surprise. He drew me closer, holding me tight. It was a hug.

"I'm sorry," I sobbed.

"You dumb girl," Cas chuckled into my neck.

"I'm sorry, I don't deserve you," I murmured, slowly pulling away, "if you need some time to think about it, I totally understand-,"

"Sof," Cas seized my cheeks, looking me deep in the eyes. He pressed his forehead to mine. Using the pad of his thumb, he brushed away my tears, "I still love you all the same. Just tell me next time, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded.

"You promise?" Cas asked.

"I promise,"

"Of course I'll need to let the Protection Command know, and there'll be additional security," Cas warned, I groaned.

"I can work with that,"

"Perfect," He replied holding me close, "because I still love you all the same,"