I remember my throat feeling dry. My right shoulder felt stiff, my head was swimming. Intermittent beeping allowed my breathing to fall into a rhythm. It took some time. Sometimes I was moving upwards, closer. Sometimes I was falling back.

It took me about three tries to actually open my eyes. The room was dimly lit. I was in a hospital bed, the blankets of a fluffy texture. In the corner was my-

"Dad," I croaked, the cardiac monitor beeping. He lifted his head, suddenly standing.

"Sofia, you're awake!" Finding his feet, he moved closer to the bed, sitting in the more, uncomfortable seat nearby.

"Where am I?" I managed.

"The Royal Apolian Hospital, we're in the city,"

"The city? You're here," I grinned weakly, "how's Mum?"

"She's back at home," He nodded, more to assure himself than anything, "you worried us,"

I chuckled, a short laugh, "I worried myself, where's Cas?"

"His, Royal Highness?" My Dad asked slowly, I flushed, "he hasn't been able to drop by, that I know of. It's a bit chaotic out there,"

"I hope he doesn't stress out too much," I hummed, "I'm okay. It's going to be okay,"

Dad breathed out slowly. It sounded like there'd be a lot to discuss. A nurse appeared at the door, promising to call in the doctor assigned to my case. A few moments later, he arrived.

"You are either very lucky or incredibly blessed," Dr Antoni chuckled after a quick assessment. He was on the younger-looking side with a nice head of blonde hair and glimmering eyes. He looked like he'd stepped out of a surfing flick.

"Oh yeah?" I mumbled, my shoulder in a dull roar of pain, tampered by the drugs.

"I could list the reasons why," He shook his head, "first of all, the fact that the attacker was only carrying a lower-powered gun. Second, the fact that the bullet missed your subclavian artery which is responsible for pretty much the entire arm. Third, that it missed your brachial plexus which is the nerves that control your arm. Surgery was a bit risky but went well. You'll be getting a visit from your physiotherapist later today,"

"Very blessed," I concluded, managing a grin. The doctor nodded seriously.

"How are you feeling Sofia?"

I breathed out slowly, processing everything. I'd been shot in the shoulder when an insurgent member had made their way into the safe house. I'd almost bled out. I'd watched Sasha die in front of me. I'd been through surgery and was barely back again. Somewhere in there, I'd also promised to stay with Cas.

Dr Antoni seemed to have noticed my watering eyes because he spoke very gently. "I'm going to get a social worker to check in with you a little later if possible,"

"Do you have a counsellor?" I swallowed, trying to clear my throat. Dr Antoni nodded, marking it down.

"We'll play it by ear but you may need to wear a sling for a little while. Be sure to keep that arm as still as possible. No movement for the next day or so at least, okay?"

"Got it," I nodded. I looked to the window, light was beginning to ebb through. I wondered about the Insurgency. How organised they'd become if there were able to burn a hotel and track Cas down. I bit my lip. Had I underestimated the power of the Insurgency? What did they want? How had they become so organised? What were they working towards? Who was behind it all?

My eyes flicked to the door where a familiar face stood.

"Fantastic," Dr Antonti stood, "hoping for a speedy recovery for you Sofia, I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Thank you," I nodded a small smile.

Dr Antonti gave a swift bow to Cas standing at the door. "Your Royal Highness," before disappearing down the hall.

"Quite early to be up," I commented, "at least give a girl some time to look appropriate,"

Cas breathed out a heavy breath, shaking his head, "Heard you were up, had to come over,"

"Welcome," I gestured with my left hand, "not much happening,"

A pause. "How are you?" He moves forward, taking the place of Dr Antonti's seat, but bringing it closer to the bedside. He lays a hand on the bedside rail. I want to put mine over it.

"Better than I deserve," I croaked out. Cas nods to himself, almost an act of assurance.

"You took a bullet for me," His voice was hoarse, "I'd be dead if it wasn't for you,"

"That's what I'm supposed to do," I whispered. It was the kind of thing that you'd hear in fairytales; would you take a bullet for me? I'd dismissed the notion as purely symbolic. An assurance that the bond between two people was true. But how poetic it was, the earliest Zbrojaski defended the eldest royal member and now I, several decades later, the next Zbrojaski, defended the youngest.

"No," Cas' words were weary, heavy with several days of careful contemplation. There was a redness to his eyes. It reminded me of when I'd caught him crying over my dying body, "no, you shouldn't have to do that. That's not fair, that's not what you signed up for," He sat back in his seat. With a start, I realised that he was angry. Not angry in the sense of Alek, who made bold and rash decisions. But a smouldering anger. One that could withstand the Winter cold. An anger that could last for generations. One that cried for revenge.

"Cas," My words were sharp. It took a bit of effort but I managed to clasp my left hand over his. They were cool while mine were hot and clammy. "Cas. I signed up for this. My family signed up for this a long time ago,"

Cas was silent, his jawline becoming more prominent as he clenched his teeth. He let out a deep breath. "You need to go home,"

"What?" Tears spring to my eyes, "no, I-I can keep going. I'm fine. The doctor said I was fine,"

"I don't want you to get hurt," Cas' voice was raw, "I-I can't see you get hurt again,"

There was a fiery silence. I had to actively work to keep tears from falling. When I spoke, it was a guttural scowl. "I can't go without seeing you," My words shook, I breathed in through my teeth, wrenching back my hand, "Those are the words of a coward, I can't see you get hurt again. Cas, please,"

Cas was silent. His face ashen. It tore me a part to see him like this.

Was I seeing the boy that'd grown up too fast? Pushed into military service when he was barely a man and forced onto the battlefield before he could barely drink. There must've been something that'd happened here. None of Cas' other siblings had undergone such a rigorous dedication to the nation's defence. None of his other siblings had served for as long. None had the same tour or body count. With a chilling realisation I began to realise the implications of the Insurgency's attack in our civilian lives.

Cas had put that all behind him- the war, the bloodshed. He'd turned to a less sacrificial life, not only to raise a family, but to finally escape that. Cas, one of the most honourable, noblest people I knew, had given almost everything for his country only for it to repay him in a vicious way when he finally let his guard down.

"I'm sorry," I let out. A tear slipped out of his eye. He didn't move, refusing to acknowledge its presence. I took his hand in mine. His rough palm cool from the cold metal rail of the bedside. Soon we were intwined, awkwardly suspended over the railing but refusing to let go, "I'm sorry," I repeated, hoping he understood.

"I'm sorry," Cas whispered back, broken words.

I shook my head into the fabric of his dress shirt, "Okay, no more apologising. We need to move forwards,"

Cas sucked in a breath.

"I'm coming with you," I promised, my face still smushed into his chest. He smelt exotic and a little like stale tears, "there's no way around that,"

A tentative moment, he pulled away. There was a smile somewhere there under a face twisted with concern. "You need a rest period though," He insisted.

"I'm fine," I spoke shortly, preparing myself for the conversation where he would cancel my contract and send me home 'with honours' but in all reality, a firing.

"You're not, and don't argue with me on that," He replied to my mouth half opened in protest, "have some time at home with your family, okay?"

"I want to be back out as soon as possible," I insisted, with you.

"When you're ready," Cas negotiated evenly.

"A week," I fired back, Cas began coughing in surprise.

"Seriously? Are you insistent for going for the 'employee of the year' award or something?" He shook his head. I chuckled, then stilled. Guiltily thinking of my mother. Not a woman of laziness by any means but she'd simply taken a few weeks off of her regular duties which led to a host of complications. I couldn't let myself fall slack, even if it were for a few weeks.

He sighed.

"I guess it's settled then, I'll see you in a week?"

I gave a slow nod, the moment bittersweet. We'd spent so much time together in the past months that separating -if only for a week- felt like loosing a small part of me.

"See you then," I gave a small smile. Cas stood, neither of us wanting to pull away. He gave a half smile and turned to go. A pause.

And then suddenly, he turns back. Rushing forward, cupping both my cheeks he leans in. Not one to waste a moment in the heat of battle, he plants a kiss square on my lips. There's something tender about the moment that before I can truly savour it, he's gone.

It's going to be a long week.