I'm Sorry, Self

I'm sorry, self
I don't always show and tell
It's my passion and I love it
I want it to improve in a minute.

I read the words silently
'Cause my tears will go down endlessly
This is strange,
There are tear drops on my page.

I aimed for the wrong place;
Hoping and waiting inside a case
Yet coming out is different
I can't face my parents.

Alone is just what I need
A smile hides behind a heart that bleeds;
Teary eyes and aching feet
I dance alone in this beat.

I'll still put all these into words, though
I don't need someone to help me grow
Not now, and not in my darkest times;
Nor in my worst, ridiculous nights.

I'm happy and sad at the same time;
Smiling and broken on the same line
Unfortunately, there's nothing left to do
The results came out and it's hard to chew.

A year with a goal failed to reach
When they ask but it's hard to teach
It was supposed to be my place
Yet it's hard when you die early in the race.

Hopefully, there will be a next year
'Cause I don't know if I can still cheer
I know this ain't over but,
This day won't make me feel better.

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Inspiration: Opponent and Passion
Date made: July 16, 2019
Time made: Unknown
Message: It was this time when I was so down in writing because the result of the contest that I joined in came out. I couldn't believe of the results and nobody else was there for me, so I tried putting all my feelings into words.