Just...where you are so sad but you don't know why.

Or you do, but you can't really say.

Like, you bundle it all up and then you just kinda...fall down. Scrape your emotions and can't find a band-aid. So you just...try. You listen to sad music, relate, and you just want to cry. And you do some. But you know people have it worse, so you shove it down, try not to care or feel. Put yourself last. Because someone else needs you to be strong.

Yeah. Me.

I left my event at 3 and I just felt sad. Like, I just did. I couldn't peg why. I was just sad. And it stuck with me. And it still has. And I just..I want to feel sad because I know I haven't in a while. And I just feel like sadness will be okay right now. Like, trying to fake happy won't help me. Being all skippy like, "Oh daisies and flowers and all the rainbows!" No. That won't help me right now. It just won't. And I am stressed and sad and worried and I just..it is stuff I can't control. It's the world's stuff. Like, your parents tell you that you will have a bright and happy future, but I know I won't. Honestly. I know I won't.

And this is depressing and sad and I am so sorry but I just need to get it out and try to breathe. It is overwhelming and I just need to breathe. The worry, the stress, it's just tiring. And I know I can't control this fear or the worry, of just the situation, and I know I should let it go, but I can't. It is sad. And I can't let it go.

I'm sorry this was so sad. I really am. If it triggered you in any way, I am so extremely sorry. I just needed to get it out.

Peace,

Red xx

A/N: I am better now, so if you read this, sorry! I guess I'll still be leaving it up because I dunno why..but I am lazy lol XD I am sorry if this makes anyone upset or sad, I just needed to express my feeling and get it out there. Kinda like a journal you guys get to read? I dunnoo...XD

Love you all!!

-Red