I'm obsessed with League of Legends... *nervous laugher*

"Dunkmaster Darius will now take your questions."

"Yes, you. With the vulnerable neck."

"This is your teams 453rd consecutive win. What's the secret?"

"It's entirely me, Dunkmaster Darius."

"What's the strangest place you've ever dunked?"

"I once dunked in a room where there were no enemies."

"Do you have any workout tips?"

"Every morning I dunk 30 raw eggs into my mouth."

"You dunk them?"

"Yes. dunking is critical."

"Can you let us in on any new dunks?"

"Mega dunk. Ultra dunk. Dunknomicon. Dunkatropilis. Dunkatrosity. The dunktown express. Dunktown local. Dunktown bus. You take the dunktrain to the dunk metero stop, and then you can just dunk from there."

"Boxers or briefs?"

"I wear another pair of pants under my pants."
"Dunktruck backup sounds. Beep, beep, beep."
"I once dunked so strongly, so profoundly, that I knocked a fan into puberty. He was 35-years-old."
"Did you remember to feed the dunk?"
"We had a baby and it was dunk."
"Oh, this? I just had it in my dunk."
"Duuuuuuuunk."
"Miscondunked."

"Are you in talks with any sponsers?"

"Yes. I have a product partnership with the concept of revenge."
"Vanilla dunk. Chocolate dunk. Strawberry dunk. Neapolitan dunk."
"Dunk, but spelt with a Q."

"What did it feel like when you pentadunked the enemy?"

"Think of the best moment of your like and multiply that by 10,000. You will NEVER know the joy I feel."
"The dunk before time. Philosophical."
*Clapping*
"Dunk from above. Dunk from below. Dunk from beneath."
"The elder dunk. That's when you dunk someone over 65."
"Hurricane dunk. Tornado dunk. Gentle autum breeze dunk."
"You're not my real dunk."
"Dunk-a-doodle-doo."
"If I dunk in the woods, does it make a sound?"

... I need help...
~Melieraptor