I want you to do me a favor, Okay?

I want you to stop......

Stop telling yourself you're not good enough......

Stop calling yourself weak......

Cause I've told myself that multiple times......

And it brought me in the worst position ever......

But I never hurt myself.....

I couldn't put my family through that......

I love them too much......

But there are so many days were I wish I could end it all.....

Cause I know what's it's like to not feel good enough.....

I know what's it like to feel like you're whole family hates you and would be better off without you.....

I know what's it's like to feel so sad that you don't want to do anything.....

I've been in that state of mind since I was a kid....

All because of a bully.....

And I know that doesn't sound like much but to me it was.....

He broke me......

He made me have all these thoughts....

I was so broken that I didn't even talk to my own parents.....

But one day I realize that I had enough.....

I was tired of being sad....

I was tired of these negative thoughts pushing me around.....

And I was happy.....

But.....

I still have the negative thoughts.....

They can't seem to leave my mind.....

And the one thing that triggers them is my parents....

When they yell at me for whatever reason, I cry....

And my thoughts go dark.....

I've tried to pretend that I'm fine.....

But the truth is.....

I'm not.....

And I feel like it's getting worse......

As I'm writing this I'm almost in tears.....

The support that I've been given has been more than what I got in the past....

And it doesn't seem real......

Cause you know who supported me when the Bullying was going on....

No one....

Everyone stood there and watched....

And I didn't want to tell my parents cause they probably wouldn't believe me.....

After that day my trust in people was gone.....

That's why I have trust issues.....

My point is that everyone has bad days....

Though some have it more than others....

But you can't let it affect you.....

I don't know if this helped or not but it helps me to open up about my past and my feelings....

And if you can open up and talk about your feelings....

Trust me, you'll feel a lot better....

I love ya sis and if you ever need anything then you can PM me....

I don't care if it's really early in the morning...

I will at least try to answer....

Cause unlike most people I actually care about you.....

I've cared about you since day one and that is never gonna change.....

I hope you feel better....

Ever yours, Emily <3

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