Chapter Thirty One: Alpha Duties

Vale

In the next couple of days all of my family poured in alongside my few alliances to pay their respects.

"My Condolences."

"We had no Idea."

"Our deepest sympathies."

"Stay Strong."

I had heard it all over and over, alongside the whispers of my secret Luna and her sudden passing.

I had never intended her to be a secret...it made it seem like I was ashamed of her. Worse, when the day of her funeral came around I couldn't bring myself to go.

I had already done my private goodbye to my mate at the hospital, more so...I hate to even imagine her in a coffin, leaving me for     good....then I have to remind myself that she really is gone and no matter how hard I try and keep it together I can't help but break down.

I can't lie to myself, I know I didn't love her, but as her mate I should've been able to take care of her...protected her.

But I couldn't.

The o e one job as her mate, her protector and I had stood there and watched as she was ripped away from me.

I knew I needed to pull myself together. But thinking about that day in the hospital still shakes me to my core. I didn't want to have to face everyone as I try and keep myself together.

And now, I was also worrying myself over Jessa too.

I called Wex everyday to check on her but was told there hasn't been any improvement...she actually had to be put on a breathing tube as she was now somehow forgetting to breath on her own.

She was unresponsive to anyone, wouldn't wake up, also had a feeding tube to help keep up her health.

I locked myself in Jessa's office and just sat on the small sofa she had in there and looked at her empty desk.

Slow tears began to fall.

My whole world was falling apart and I was losing all control.

There was a light knock on the door but I ignored it.

"Vale." Briar sounded softly. "You have to eat something.

When I didn't say anything I knew she'd leave whatever food she brought and we both knew I was going to leave it untouched.

Not too long after Briar's attempts, another knock sounded.

"Vale."

I looked at the door and recognized my brother in law's voice, Titus.

"We're leaving now...your sister and I wanted to offer our apologies for your loss."

I rolled my eyes, no one's apologies, condolences, or well wishes were going to bring Joy's mother back.

"Thanks for coming." I said before ignoring whatever else he muttered into the door.

I sat in the same spot and lost track of time from sitting there so long. I watched as the light changed from day to night...but all I really saw was another day gone without Shelby or Jessa .

It was all my fault.

I was selfish and greedy.

I was ready to leave the solitude of Jessa's cozy and familiar office.

I just wanted to shower and try and go to bed...not that sleeping was any better, the past couple of nights I'd wake up from nightmares either trying to save Jessa or trying to save Shelby...but I was always too late to save either one of them.

_____

Another week passed and things tried to go about as normal, but really I could feel everyone was still walking on eggshells around me. and my brother and sisters took turns essentially watching me.

This whole week it was Flora as my babysitter, she made sure I woke up for the day, ate something, then George would read off pack news... Flora would feed me again, I'd go visit Joy, come back home, sit in Jessa's office for a few hours and wallow before Flora would inform me that it was time for my last meal of the day.

But as the weekend came, so did my Sister Everest....and Everest was always a no bullshit sort of girl.

"Get up." She sounded sternly. "When was the last time you left this house other than to see Joy?" She asked.

I shrugged.

She sighed. "You're going to shower and then We're going into town...your people need to se you."

"I'm in no condition to see anyone."

"Your mate died...we're all sad for you, we've all cried for you and Joy's loss...but we all know you're going through the ringer kid, no one expects you to be chipper and goofy like usual, but the people need to see that you still remember them."

I nodded.

"There's more Vale...Your Beta got a call from his son this morning about your assistant."

My heart began to race. "What about Jessa?"

"I don't know the whole story, but I think this may be the last day before they're going to have to pull the plug."

I shook my head. "No....they can't do that."

"I'm sorry Vale, but it's been over two weeks now."

I shook my head in disbelief, "I-...I have to go see her."

"Vale...-"

"You don't get it Evie...I had two amazing women, both who loved and cared about me and both who I loved and cared for in different ways, and the moon goddess is trying to take them both away from me...I lost Shelby already...I won't let Jessa go...I love her, I'm...I'm in love with her...before I even understood that I could love someone who wasn't my mate, she held my whole heart."

My wolf perked up is finally admitting it out loud as well as to ourselves.

"...and yes I cared for Shelby, and with time I may have grown to love her...but even then I knew I'd never be able to love her in the same way I love Jessa."

"I know." She said with a small smile. "We all know...and I think that's why it was such a shock to us when we found out you had a mate."

"How did you know I love Jessa...I mean, I've kinda only recently admitted it to myself."

"At first it was during the rehearsal, whenever her name was brought up your ears and neck would blush ever so slightly...easy for anyone to miss...but I'm not just anyone Vale, I'm you'r older sister, I helped raise you...I know all of your tells, when you're lying, when you're nervous, when you're scared, and this...this was different." se said with the same smile. "Then of course I watched you two at the dance..."

She cried a little, it was rare to see Evie show so much raw emotion.

"Goddess you two were so beautiful together and I swear I'd never seen you so happy before, you looked at her so longingly even when she was dancing with your friend Wexler, more importantly you were so happy, it was a smile I've never seen...and then the day she left, I saw that familiar heartache in your eyes...the same heartache as when you found your birth mother."

"But she isn't my mate."

"And look at Brooke and Briar...they're beyond happily married to men who aren't their mates... and Titus and I thought we'd found our mates before our union ceremony but were so happy after we were united...nowhere is it written that Mates have to be your significant others...maybe they can be best friends, or a shoulder to cry on, a protector...and you were a great mate to Shelby, you helped her, you protected her dignity and now you're going to raise Joy as your own...if that isn't the job of a mate then I don't know what is brother."

I just looked at her.

"Now if you ever get your ass up out of the bed, maybe we can go and bring Jessa home where she belongs."