Date: January 1st
Time: 7:03pm
Location: Y/n's apartment, the kitchen table
Mood: Dogs are better than people
<><><>

With his entrance, Taehyung became the star of the show.

Clearly Y/n's family weren't accustomed to having animals around because Taehyung's wolf was instantly popular. Everyone except for Y/n sprung from their chairs to greet this 'good boy' (as he was quickly dubbed) and gave him all their attention.

Eventually even Y/n couldn't stop from petting him. He was so pretty! His top coat the color of caramel and his belly and chest a soft white. Her dad gave him a plate full of meat, which no one objected to. As far they were concerned, the dog could have anything it wanted.

"I wuv you!" Rosie pronounced her love him exactly 4.0 seconds after meeting him and wrapping her arms around his neck for a hug.

"Does he do tricks?" Seo-Joon asked.

"No-" Y/n and Jimin answered, just as Tae put a paw in Rosie's hand for a shake.

From there he ate three plates of food. At each one the humans gave Jimin the side eye for 'starving' this 'dog', and Jimin was growing more irritated with his best friend. Everything had been going so well. Did he have to waltz in here and steal his thunder? He had been making a good impression, but now they thought he was an irresponsible pet sitter.

Tell mate to stop petting him.

Wolfy whined loudly every time Y/n would touch Tae's wolf. She didn't know it but that was a huge hit to Wolfy's ego. But that wasn't their only problem. Jimin's friend had basically exposed himself to a room of humans. Technically this was against the rules, but Jimin wasn't going to tell if Taehyung wasn't. Even if he wanted to punch his best friend's stupid, furry head. She wasn't supposed to touch him at all, let alone in wolf form. It was too intimate.

They hated it.

"I think it's time we left." He said loudly enough to be heard over the baby talk Taehyung was being made to endure. Not that he seemed to mind. In fact, the fool was soaking it up. A wolfish grin on his face made that evident.

In answer he was met with pushback from the apparent animal lovers of the room. Mr Yoon was about to make a forth plate of food for him. Seo-Joon was scratching his back and Rosie was putting a crown on his head. But Jimin pressed on, insisting that he had to get the 'dog' back to his 'owner'. Even Y/n looked sad. He wasn't going to think about the violent emotions he felt at that.

Finally he was out the door, turning for one last glance of his mate before leaving down the elevator. It was unfair how much he missed her already.

But if he thought he would get away that easily, he was mistaken. After shoving the large form of Taehyung into the backseat (who he could swear was laughing at him) and getting into the drivers seat, Seo-Joon knocked at the window. Needless to say, he really did not want to have this confrontation.

But he also didn't want to look like a wuss in front of Y/n's brother. With apprehension he rolled the window down. His tongue tied as he scoured his mind for the best thing to say.

"Yes?" Taehyung's chin came to rest on his shoulder as he too looked at his mate's brother. It helped to calm his nerves, as it reminded him that he wasn't alone.

"The only reason you aren't dead right now is because you brought a dog." Seo-Joon said gruffly. His eyes softened as they moved to Taehyung and his hand moved forward the slightest bit, as though he intended to pet him. However, he seemed to think better if it and pulled back to fix him with a glare. "I'm watching you. Treat my little sister like a queen, or else you're gonna look real stupid picking your teeth up off the floor with two broken arms."

"Yes, sir."

He and mate have the same mad face. Did you notice?

With a nod, Y/n's brother moved his gaze to Taehyung and his voice slipped into a sweet, goofy tone. "Bye doggy!"

<><><>
January 3rd

She started crying before she ever walked inside.

The window to the florist's shop was large, display shelves on the other side decorated with various assortments of the beautiful dead plants. To her it felt grotesque and strange how nicely they were arranged, how pleasing to even her eye they all were.

Thinking this was possible, she had moved along the sidewalk and right up to the door before glancing up at what she was dreading the most. A bouquet of red begonias was what greeted her at first sight. They sat in a faux crystal vase directly next to the door, and the irony of it hit her with a sense of foreboding she could not deny.

All flowers held symbolism. Begonias: Beware. Be cautious. Dark thoughts.

They weren't wrong. Every dark thought she'd ever had was returning with a vengeance and choking her. Why had she promised Rosie she could have flowers for her recital? Y/n should have known better than to say such a thing, than to think she was capable of overcoming something this overwhelming.

She wasn't. She was the same as she'd always been. Useless and stupid. Not able to walk into a shop and buy flowers. If she couldn't do something that simple, why would anyone even love her?

But that wasn't right.

Backtracking away from the door, she tried to collect herself and push those thoughts away. Jimin loved her. He must have said it a million times in the space of a week. Rosie loved her. She still called Y/n her 'true love's darling'. And she had Seo-Joon. She had a mom and real father that hadn't left her. She had Hyuna. She wasn't alone.

There was only one person that had left her. One person that deemed her not good enough. Only one. So why did it hurt so bad?

A moment and a shaky breath later, she swiped the back of her hand over her tear stained face to clean it. When that was done she went back to the door, this time trying to avoid looking to anything that would be triggering. Which was...literally everything in the entire shop.

As the door opened, there was a sweet scent that rushed forward to assault her. The smell brought forth more bad memories to last for a lifetime and though her throat ached and her tears stung she forced her way into the building anyway.

"Hello, welcome!"

Without looking she bowed to what she supposed was the florist, a woman by her voice.

"Can I help you with anything?"

"I-" she cleared her throat when her voice came out shaky. "I ne-need flowers for a d-dance recital."

"Is this for a man, woman or child?"

"My l-little sister."

"Then I suggest lilies. They represent-"

She already knew. They represent purity and children were pure so that was why it was the choice for a kid. The warmer colors symbolized energy and creativity, so it was good gift for a dancer, as it sent a message that their work was valued. But she let the woman do her job and explain this all anyway. There was a real passion in her voice that anyone could appreciate.

Quickly as she could without seeming rude, she agreed to buy the lilies. The sugary smell of the shop was beginning to make her feel nauseous. It seemed to take forever for the florist to put it together for her, along with the little card Y/n picked out.

Once she was through and stepped back out onto the cold sidewalk, she felt weak. Weak. But somehow stronger. She'd actually done it. Faced a major fear and made it out alive. Tears wouldn't stay in her eyes and for once she allowed them to fall. Jimin was constantly reminding her that it was ok to cry. That it was ok to have feelings.

When a group of pedestrians passed close by she turned away, back towards the big window to hide her face while she wiped it clean. Those Begonias were still there, as if taunting her in some way. The red petals rested gently against the stark green leaves and looked healthy, despite having been cut and killed. Then as if her mind knew what she would see, her eyes drifted to the left, to the area inside the shop that was in direct eyesight of the front counter.

The florist wasn't alone any longer. Now there was a man there as well. Big nose. Square jaw. Really short hair.

There was a loud ringing sound coming from somewhere. It was hurting her ears. While her hands went up to cover them and block the sound she couldn't move her eyes away from what she was seeing. That was impossible. He wasn't there. He was supposed to be gone. He was supposed to be getting milk, not here, smiling in a florist shop three blocks away from her home.

The begonias in the window seemed to be laughing at her now, as if to tell her 'I told you so'. And he was laughing as well. Though she hadn't seen her birth father in years, she instantly recognized him. Laughing. Why was he laughing? He had no right.

"Ma'am, you dropped these."

A hand tapped on her shoulder quite a few times before she noticed, then a couple more before she was able to gather her wits and respond. Her brain felt like someone had put a blender in it on high. She tried and failed to grasp onto a thought that would help her speak. But she felt weak and faint and the only thing that came out of her mouth was a quiet word of gratitude as her shaky hands accepted the bouquet she had dropped.

"Hey, uh..." The young man looked slightly familiar but she couldn't place him and didn't try. All her attention went back to the inside of the shop where her supposed parent remained talking with the female employee. "I dunno if you recognize me. I'm in your biology class...I wanted to apologize. Me and my former friend said some stuff about you one day that you probably overheard. It was disgusting and I really-"

He stopped short, his eyes widening in shock when a gut wrenching sob came out of her mouth. She turned her back to the window and covered her face with her free hand, trying to protect her dignity and stop any more tears before they became a problem.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I'm really sorry!" Other people on the street sent him glares and looks of disgust, all believing the same narrative that he was the culprit, the reason for her emotional display.

On her end, Y/n didn't even notice her classmate there. Her ears were still ringing and the unbearable feeling of betrayal was like acid in her blood, racing into every corner and crevice of her body. It wasn't so much that he left, or that he had been so close to them and she hadn't known it. That hurt. But the grief affecting her the most right now was over his smile. He dared to be happy when she had spent more than half her life crying over and missing him. He hadn't earned a single one of her tears. He didn't care. He didn't love her.

So why did she still want him to want her?

"Do you need a ride...or...?"

Finally she noticed that the young man was still speaking to her. But she couldn't quite make out what he was trying to say. All of her thoughts and senses were discombobulated until it felt like up was down and yes was no. Weakly she asked him to repeat himself but again it went right over her head. A third time she asked him to repeat himself and only then was she barely able to grasp what he was asking.

A car? A ride. He was asking if she needed a ride. Normally she would shy away and wouldn't ever get into a car with a strange man. But today was no normal day. Confused, she agreed and followed him to a beat up pickup truck and climbed inside. She looked to the bouquet in her lap. Even the lilies were laughing at her now. The one time she told herself that the flowers couldn't hurt her, in the end, they sort of did. Staying away had been a smart idea. She should have listened to the begonias.

There was another puzzling conversation over where she needed to go that her body was present for, but her mind was not privy to. She remembered pulling up the map on her phone for directions, but not much else after that.

All she could think about was that. Had he been here all along? Was he here before she and her mother and Seo-Joon moved here from Busan? Did her mom know he was that close? Did he know that they were so close? How had they never crossed paths before? What had he been doing all this time? He had remained a florist, still doing what he loved. Another reason she had to hate dead flowers. Her own father chose them over her. The flowers got to stay, but his own children had to go. Why?

This was a question she had asked herself repeatedly for years. Why. Why had he left? She had been a kid a time, so of course she wouldn't know if her parents had been having marital issues. But when she had found the courage to ask her mom why, even she didn't have an answer. And maybe the answer to that question wouldn't help her feel better or understand him. But it might give her some sort of closure and allow her to move on from that chapter of her life.

Stupid. Wrong. Worthless. Unlovable. Trash. Unimportant. Those types of thoughts that had been chased off by Jimin were back and more prevalent than ever. In the face of her biggest trauma, happy, positive thoughts didn't stand a chance. They had no place here.

Most of all, she was tired. It had already been a plan of hers to get help after the holidays. Yet when she had the chance, she hadn't made that step. She didn't know why. Now she wished she had. Surely there was something out there that could ease this pain.

Before she realized it, they were pulling up to the dance studio Rosie attended. She took a few moments to try and gather her scattered thoughts into one place before she got out, all while steadily ignoring the way the young man next to her chattered and tried to make conversation. Unknowingly, she slammed the door behind her, rudely cutting him off half way through his sentence. He figured she didn't accept his apology.

It took a few minutes to find her family. The dance studio had set up chairs in one of the larger showrooms and they were seated halfway down the first row and had saved a seat for her. When she approached, Seo-Joon's gaze flickered from the flowers in her arms to her reddened eyes and he frowned. As she sank down next to him he placed a comforting arm around her shoulders that she instantly relaxed into his embrace. Her brother was a safe place. And he didn't need to ask her what was wrong. He already knew.

The dance recital, as cute as it was, was a hot mess. Toddlers stumbled around drunkenly, sometimes forgoing the taught dance moves to start jamming to the music on their own. Half forgot what the moves were halfway through and watched as the teacher did it and then followed his instruction, which always put them a step behind everyone else. One kid fell and started crying in the middle of the song, prompting one of the adults to carry them off. And then there was the handful of little professionals who nailed every move. This category was where Rosie fell into.

Y/n wasn't able to concentrate on it half as much as she would have liked. Her mind kept drifting back to the florist shop. Whenever she would think about what would happen if she ever saw her father again, running away had never crossed her mind. Yet that's what she had done. Why? She should have approached him. She felt anxious at that idea. Would he be happy to see her? What would he have to say? What would she say? Ideally, it would be...nice if he wanted to talk and hear about how her life was going. Maybe that wasn't such a crazy idea.

Then again, maybe not. He had left for a reason. Whatever that reason was. For the first time in a while, she felt lost. On what to do. On what to feel. How to react. What she should think.

However, as befuddled and woebegone as she was at the moment, there was one thing that was crystal clear. Seeing the source of her years long depression had plummeted her mental health to dangerous lows. It was time to make the leap and take that second step.

Later that night, that's exactly what she did. She went to the person that she trusted most in this area and broke down the moment the confession left her mouth.

"I'm really...really depressed. I need your help."

And of course he helped. Seo-Joon had been waiting for her to say those words longer than Y/n would ever know.

—
Edited 8/4/22