Date: December 2nd
Time: 9:51pm
Location: Pojangmacha (food tent)
Mood:

<><><>

Jimin was back to staring.

Just as he had when they first met. Except now the fascination, longing and ardent affection shining so brightly back at her had increased over time. Where once this type of look from him would agitate and frighten her, comfort and a sense of acceptance now settled in it's place.

Not to say that it didn't fluster her. Only that his feelings were so clearly being projected that it reassured her that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. That was an idea still hard to grasp, yet didn't seem too far out of reach.

Chin in both palms as his fingers cupped his face, he unabashedly stared from his spot across the small table. They'd stopped after work to eat supper in one of the food tents lining the street and were currently waiting on their food. Rather than talk he drank in the sight of her and the silence was something she found to be comforting. Jimin never tried to force a conversation and as such, it gave her the inclination that she didn't have to either.

A little over a week had passed since their first date and Y/n could accurately categorize them as some of the best in her life thus far. On the outside and with everyone else, she was that same bashful, quiet girl that kept to herself. When she was with Jimin, it was like a different character came out in place of the other Y/n.

A new person, confident and open, easy to laugh and willing to speak up. Of sorts. As long as he wasn't begging her for kisses or relentlessly flirting, she would remain that confident person. Not completely new. Change didn't happen in a day. The difference was that now she wanted to try being something else. Dealing with her social anxiety was, of course, difficult. But not impossible. Whether that was with Jimin or anyone else.

Yet somehow, it was 100 times easier when he held her hand.

His random touches were reassuring, but they did not evoke that warm feeling in her chest as holding his hand did. When they walked side by side his arm would brush against hers. Every door was held open and every chair pulled out for her and each time, he would press a hand to her back.

Sometimes he would reach over and tweak her nose for no apparent reason. Though his preferred spot was her right earlobe and he would rub that between his fingers quite often. The reason for that was unknown but she wasn't going to complain as that particular action was almost as nice as holding his hand. A few times her hair would brush against it after he touched her there, and it bothered her so much she'd taken to pushing it behind her ears, something that shocked but pleased her boyfriend.

Kisses were as often as they were completely alone and it was dark enough to assure her that if there were to be someone looking, they wouldn't be able to see. Which, to Jimin's disappointment, was not that often. It brought her down to think that she couldn't just do it, couldn't force herself to overcome this mountain of bashfulness.

That brought her back to the card. The card for the therapist. She needed it and wanted it but didn't want it and attempted to convince herself that she didn't need it. Lies that she used to be able to convince herself of, but no longer. Not when confronted with Jimin's gloomy eyes and even more so when she thought of not going to Rosie's recital.

The problem with that was people. Being around people wasn't that hard at university or work, as long as no one directly approached her. This was a different setting. Lots of people all packed in closely into one room. It gave her anxiety and Seo-Joon knew it. He'd already volunteered to stand at the back of the room with her.

But she couldn't and wouldn't do that to Rosie. That little girl looked up to Y/n the most, thought she could do no wrong and openly voiced her love for her big sister multiple times a day. If standing in a room with people and buying her flowers was what Rosie asked for, then it was her biggest wish to give her what she wanted. Disappointing Jimin terrified her, but the thought of letting Rosie down crushed her.

As did the thought of buying the flowers. Looking at the flowers. Smelling them. Remembering every bad memory currently stored away, awaiting the day they would come out to assault her.

That day would be in a few weeks and already she dreaded it. Seeing the toddler in a tutu and tights and stumbling around on a stage with other little kids did little to comfort her, what with the obstacle she had to overcome in order to get that far. 

From underneath the table Jimin's foot connected with her own, lightly tapping the toe of his boot against the side of her shoe. Wordlessly she tapped his in return and earned a sort of foot hug. Both of his snuggled onto either sides of one of hers and gave it a squeeze.

At her questioning look he chuckled and slightly tilted his head, his eyes moving over every centimeter of her face at a leisurely pace filled with so much adoration that she began holding her breath without meaning to.

Why wasn't he afraid to show that much emotion? Perhaps it was confidence, or simply the way he was. Most likely it was the latter of the two, considering Jimin had always been open when it came to displaying how he felt. Since they'd met he had been upfront and never wavered, and in some ways acted as though she should expect this much attentiveness from him. 

"Stop staring." she muttered, knowing that he could hear her over the din of the makeshift restaurant.

"Stop being pretty and I might." He teased, bringing her to hide behind a hand and blush furiously. The action caused him to complain. "Yah, move your hand. I can't see."

When she shook her head in the negative he moved his feet fervently on either side of hers, shaking her entire leg in the process. She lightly kicked him with her free limb and he responded by taking that one hostage as well, wrapping his legs around her own and crossing them at the ankles.

He did this a lot. If he couldn't get her attention in one manner then he'd find another. When they were in public and she was too bashful to hold his hand or share any other type of physical touch, then he would figure out someway to make it happen in a way that she was comfortable with. If she struggled for words during moments of anxiety, he would distract her with compliments. At times when he thought she looked too sad for his liking he would ask questions about things she loved, such as rap music or Rosie. Every day before they parted he would remind her of three words that got her heart to pounding on each occasion of it's use: I like you. Having yet to say it back (a second time), she would feel disappointed at herself and hurt for him. In turn he would take the opportunity to beg for kisses instead. And that always worked to distract her.

Wiggling her legs to be let out of their embrace achieved nothing. Smirking, Jimin tapped his fingers against his cheeks, relaxed at the position they were in.

"Watcha doing?" His question was asked in a sing-song voice full of teasing and a smile grew at the fake glare he received. "Y/n, have I told you about my girlfriend? Her name is Red Marshmallow." Sighing dreamily, he continued on as she went to hide behind both hands since the one wasn't enough anymore. "She's so cute it hurts and she's perfect, except that she breaks the law constantly and doesn't kiss me as much as she should."

"Jimin-"

"Don't interrupt, Y/n-ssi, that's rude. Anyway, so Red Marshmallow keeps doing this thing lately where she goes like," she peaked between her fingers to watch as he curled his over the top of an ear to simulate tucking a strand behind it. "And I love that. I hope she never stops."

In reply she nodded, moving her hands away from her face and sliding the curtain of hair in her face behind an ear.

"Yes," he sighed out, his contended grin doing wonders for her self esteem. "You have the prettiest ears."

That was the weirdest compliment she'd ever received.

"And the cutest little nose."

She knew very well her nose was not the smallest, nor cutest part of her. But she wasn't going to make a fuss over it. The compliments were nice to hear.

"And that thing you do when you go like this," hunching over slightly, he covered his face behind his hands and parted his fingers halfway to look at her. "It kills me. It really kills me. You might give me a stroke doing that."

She only barely managed to keep an apology from rolling off her tongue.

"And there's something you said once," he looked to the ceiling of the tent in thought, "but, it's been SO long since I heard it, I forgot and I think you need to say it again. Three words. Starts with an 'I' and ends with a 'you'..." He didn't adjust his gaze to her, knowing her well enough by now that she wouldn't be able to say it with him watching.

"I like you." She tugged at a sleeve of her sweatshirt as she whispered.

"Thank you."

Grinning, he went back to his original position with his chin supported on both palms. Their legs swayed back and forth beneath the table as he rocked them and she didn't try to pull away again. His touch was relaxing.

"What is it that you like about me?" Jimin probed gently, his eyes betraying how vulnerable the question made him feel.

"Everything." She blurted before she could catch herself.

His brows rose in surprise. A moment later they drew together in suspicion. "Really? Like what?"

In all honestly, she couldn't think of one thing she disliked about him. Why didn't he believe her?

"Your-your words."

"My words? Which ones?"

"U-um the—what y-you said after I told you about," mindlessly her hands interlocked, fingers tightening around each other, "ab-about my dad."

They'd both thought her stuttering had stopped with him (for the most part) but speaking on that person, no matter if it was brief, shot her nerves through the roof. He didn't respond right away, giving her some time to calm down while wishing he could do something to help. His wolf urged him to hold her hand but he remained still, not wanting make things worse.

Eventually he gave in. Reaching across the table, he gingerly pulled her hands apart, worry painted on his face as he inspected how red her cheeks had become in such a short amount of time. Catching sight of her even redder flush, he withdrew, thinking he had been right all along and made things worse. When his arm was halfway back across the table she did something he absolutely adored whenever she would do it. His favorite thing about her.

She took the initiative.

Y/n wasn't like Hyuna, who loudly and without second thoughts said and did what she wanted. She wasn't like him or his pack mates, who could lift 500 pounds (226 kgs) of dead weight without effort or breaking a sweat. She wasn't like those characters you could watch on movies that are physically tortured and had their whole families slaughtered and still go on to save the day.

But Y/n was strong. She struggled with her own issues and lived everyday doing that, trying to push against her setbacks. Sometimes she failed. But she kept going. She always kept going. All of the time she took it at her own pace, an agonizingly slow one. Slow, but at least she continued fighting. It was the reason why he asked her to kiss him instead of stealing one for himself. A kiss that came from someone who went against all her personal demons and insecurities in order to please him was more fulfilling than if he were to kiss her whenever he wanted.

So when she reached across the table and entwined her hand in his own, his heart melted for the billionth time since they'd met. She didn't avert her gaze elsewhere and looked directly to his face, enchanting him into somehow liking her more.

"I see your light." her countenance spoke of confidence, but her voice remained low, just on the edge of a whisper. "You don't know how vividly you shine, but everyone else does. You're brighter than the sun. I see you for what you are," her eyes moved to their joined hands, a smile playing at her lips. "And you have a beautiful heart."

She recited the words perfectly and without stuttering. Words that he only vaguely recalled saying to her weeks ago. Evidently they had held much meaning to her as she'd cradled them so carefully that they'd been memorized to this degree.

"When you said that, that's when I realized." Red. He really loved that color now and was so grateful that he was seeing it up close. "That...I like you."

He had to force himself to keep from grabbing and snuggling the mess out of her. That, and his poor face ached with pain he smiled so hard. The moon goddess was almost too good at her job and he would spend the rest of his life thanking her for the gift in front of him.

With an ever increasing respect and adoration growing for her, his heart poured from his eyes as he gazed at his soulmate. Lost and utterly whipped, he couldn't look at her any other way. She'd taken his heart and ran with it, might as well watch the culprit, as it was apparent he wasn't ever going to get it back.

"I'm proud of you." She appeared confused by the statement, probably having no idea what she had done to deserve such a proclamation. "And it's an honor to call myself your boyfriend. I hope you know that you're never getting rid of me."

"I'm...not?" She seemed more perplexed by this pronouncement than the last.

"Nope. Never. You'll have to pry me off with the jaws of life." A playful wink was sent her way, although he was dead serious.

That had the opposite affect of what he had intended it for—to loosen the serious atmosphere. Having taken it the wrong way, her look turned grim and it was a clear sign that she was battling something inside, something he wished could hold a physical form so that he could rid of it once and for all.

"Don't tease me."

"I'm not!" Bothered by the fact that she really thought he would do that to her, he replied an urgency to his tone. "Baby," he urged when she didn't reply. "Don't you remember? The day we met—the promise I made you."

She nodded hesitantly, a doubtful look in place.

"And what was that?"

"That you...that you would never hurt me."

"That's right. And leaving would count as hurting you, would it not?"

She would have liked to have told him the truth. That he had no idea how bad that would hurt, that it would be so painful she couldn't put it into words. But that form of honesty, that kind of truthfulness, couldn't it be construed as toxicity? She didn't want to be like those people that threatened self harm if their partner left, not like that was something she would do. If Jimin wanted to leave, then he should feel able to. It was better that he left to find his happiness, as opposed to staying and being without. She didn't want to be anyone's albatross, and least of all, for Jimin to be unhappy.

Eventually she replied with a nod as she felt that was a safe way to answer.

"I don't believe in making the same promise twice if I haven't broken it. But I'll make an exception for you. I will never, ever hurt you."

She still wasn't used to it. That feeling of hope, the assurance of a better future. But she did believe him.

<><><>
December 3rd
6:19pm

Jimin continued to stare.

Despite being somewhat used to it, it still flustered her. Especially when they had an audience of toddlers and two other adults.

Trying to ignore her stalker boyfriend, Y/n set her attention on the gift Baek Hyeon had given her.

The little boy who remained constantly at her side when she was here had presented her a drawing of brightly colored scribbles. As she examined the gift and praised his drawing skills, he hid his face in the fabric of her skirt.

"This is really beautiful. Can you tell me what it is?" Lowering herself to his level, she held it out and he pointed to a large, red scribble.

"Dats Yoo Yoo." He informed.

"I thought so! That looks just like me. What's this?" She gestured to an array of green and yellow swirls.

"T-Rex. You ride da T-Rex."

He couldn't have known that she'd always found things that people deemed not cute, to be just that. Things like dinosaurs and sharks. The Tyrannosaurus rex was supposed to be a giant predator but they had those tiny arms—just flailing around up there. And sharks. Well, they were always smiling.

"Thank you."  The corners of his lips turned upward while she stroked his hair affectionately. "I love it."

"I love Yoo Yoo."

Withholding her jaw from dropping became a real job at this confession. This kid had gained a real soft spot in her heart and seemed intent on settling down there. The fact that he stuck next to her, only spoke to her, and chose her was enough to gain her affection already, but there was something about Baek Hyeon that she felt attached to on a different level. Maybe because they were the same person at different ages or because they understood one another without talking. All she was sure of was that this was her second favorite kid.

"I love you too."

At these words his face flushed and it was as if she were looking into a mirror. Embarrassed, he announced quietly that he was going to play and scampered off.

There was never a moment of rest here, unlike how it had been at the convenience store. That was something Y/n liked about the job. It kept her mind busy and her hands preoccupied. Kids never stopped. Their energy was enviable and despite only physically having two hands, sometimes it seemed like they each had ten.

Watching as Baek Hyeon meekly joined Sang-Ook at the building blocks, she scanned over the latter to make sure that was all he was doing. He was quiet and therefore suspicious. If a toddler wasn't making much noise then they were up to something. She didn't find out what until he casually stuck his hands behind him and began shoving the building blocks down his pants.

Before heading that way, she grabbed the disinfectant wipes, overhearing Hyuna on the way there asking Ga-in what she had done with her pants.

The woman who had gotten her and Jimin the job here apparently only worked three days a week. It had surprised Y/n when she'd walked in and another woman was there in her place. Min-ji, a thirty year old with absolutely no personality. There was literally nothing to say about her.

As much as Y/n wanted to question it, she kept it to herself. Truth be told, she was still hurt over the last time she'd asked Hyuna a question and had been shut out. That didn't seem fair to Hyuna and Y/n struggled with it. If her friend didn't want to tell her something then she didn't have to. But she had been worried.

Since then they still had lunch together, and talked like normal. But something had shifted and felt strange. Maybe it was Y/n. Maybe she was the only one that felt that way. It saddened her but she tried her best to let it go and move on. She commiserated over enough already without adding to it.

Across the room, Jimin couldn't look away from his mate. Something his charges were taking full advantage of.

Would you mind asking the child to take their finger out of our nose?

Absentmindedly he took the little girl's hand and pulled it away from his nostril, all without looking away. Every day Y/n seemed to glow brighter, become more beautiful. Lately he had been privy to another side of her. When they were alone she would talk openly and relax. Those were times he cherished and it was becoming harder and harder to separate from her as the days went on.

If she were wolf as well this wouldn't be an issue. If that were the case they would have marked one another and settled down together already. Although if it were up to him, he would not change things. Human mates were better and his wolf liked to agree that Y/n was superior to them all.

A gust of air blew into the room as Carl returned from a bathroom break. Jimin would have looked at Y/n for longer, daydreamed until he was forced back to reality if a certain scent that had just entered the room hadn't alerted him to another wolf's presence.

Yoongi.

—
Edited 8/1/22