Date: November 19th
Time: 9:00pm
Location: Old ass Hyundai
Mood: Exhausted old ass Hyundai
<><><>

"That was the most exhausting thing I've ever done." Jimin proclaimed as he drove his mate home in the ancient Hyundai. Hyuna had 'forgotten' that she had offered Y/n a ride home (today she drove her parent's car) and left without saying a word.

Y/n had a strong feeling that this was done intentionally because her friend had literally looked her straight in the face while she drove off and left her standing there in the parking lot, confused.

Subtle, no. A good friend, yes. Maybe.

Going in she had thought it would be like babysitting her little sister. Turned out it wasn't anything like she expected. They weren't bad at it, at all, but Y/n wondered if she would ever reach Hyuna and Carl's level. Both were up and moving the entire time, somehow seeing everything and juggling multiple things at once with ease.

Something Y/n had learned when Yeona was crying from bumping her head, Sang-Ook was holding himself and expressing the urgent need to urinate, and Baek Hyeon refused to budge from her lap, was that having only two arms was not enough.

Hyuna had stepped in and handled the situation with a proficiency she hoped to one day attain.

Like the last time he gave her a ride home, Jimin was driving as slow as possible. A few other cars had sped around the slow moving vehicle, the drivers blaring their horns and shouting a few choice words out the window.

"Oh hello!" Jimin responded with a sweet smile and a wave the last time this happened, something the angry driver did not appreciate. He furiously laid down on the horn at the same time Jimin's face fell as he turned to her.

"Your stomach is growling. Are you hungry?"

How he was able to hear that over all this racket confounded her but she filed it away into the 'Jimin and other things that don't make sense' folder.

"Yes," she answered him but couldn't even hear her own voice over the blaring horn outside. "I'll eat when I get home."

Again, it seemed he was able to hear her just fine. With a pout he moved his attention back to the road.

"I'm hungry too." he commented a minute later when the driver had moved on and it was silent once more.

As the words left his mouth they passed by a convenience store, much like the one they used to work at with a flashing sign boasting of freshly steamed buns. Nonchalantly giving her a sideways look, the car slowed down to a crawl and he casually pretended to just now notice the sign.

"Steamed buns sure sound nice. Don't you think? And...we're both hungry."

"Uh, do you..." she paused while looked between him and the neon sign, "want to stop and eat?"

The Hyundai slowed to a slight roll of the tires on the pavement at the same time he gave her falsely inquisitive look.

"You want to stop?" he questioned in a way that was more pleading than inquisitive. "You want to eat here? Right now? Right here? With me? Are you sure?"

It wasn't like she could say no. Not when he looked at her like a hopeful puppy begging for a treat.

"I'm sure."

"YES!" The car was pulled to the curb before the last word had finished leaving her mouth, his enthusiasm causing her to giggle.

Another thing to stash in the 'Jimin and other things that don't make sense' file was the speed in which he exited the car and arrived at her door in order to hold it open. How was he always so fast? She should really start paying attention because this was always something that struck her as weird.

Mumbling out a thanks she stepped out and he closed the door behind her, only to run ahead and open the door to the convenience store as well. Something her step dad had told her once came to her mind, an old memory stashed away for the appropriate time. When she had turned 13 her parents (Mom and stepdad) had taken their daughter aside to have the 'talk'. Not the birds and the bees or the period talk, her mother had already done that. This talk was about boys.

For a long time afterward she really thought each and every one of them were sexual fiends out to get her pregnant and give her all manner of STDs. Maybe they still were. But probably not to the degree that they had her believe.

In the first half, this special talk consisted of how dangerous the opposite sex could be. They told her to always wear shorts underneath her school regulated uniform skirt. To not believe everything they said, whether it was good or bad because even the good things could be used to trick her into something she would regret. In other words, sex. She was taught to never be alone with a boy and his friends and no one else. To always have her phone with her and never go off with one alone without telling them...and taking their photo. And license plate number.

The second half of this talk was what boys should act like. Some of it was over the top, in her opinion, but most of it seemed right. They should be gentlemen. They shouldn't laugh when someone expresses their feelings. They should be hard working and respect their parents and want more from her than her body. And the memory that had brought all this up, was from her dad: "A man should never let a girl he likes touch a door handle. If he likes you, he will open them all."

That was more proof, wasn't it? Proof that Jimin liked her. Not as if she needed any. His words had all but said it without actually saying it and his actions made it obvious. Most would say they spoke louder, but to her the words were a confirmation, the acceptance and validation she needed. If she wasn't so sensitive and introverted she might not need it as much. But...

"Thanks," her voice squeaked as she rushed past and into the warmth of the store. She really didn't need the extra heat. Her face was generating enough.

This establishment was the complete opposite of Jimin's cousin's. The shelves were fully stocked to the max so that meant more choices, more costumers, more employees. It was double in size and everything inside looked new or freshly polished and was filled with the pleasant smell of the steaming buns.

Jimin told her to go ahead and sit and he would get the food, so she took the initiative in finding them both a seat by the window.

Not a moment after she had slipped onto one of the stools Seo-Joon messaged to ask where she was. Replying that she was still working, she sighed. Another white lie on top of the others would have to do. Her brother had been extra irritable lately because Jackson had come back to visit last weekend.

The entire visit was strange. They weren't alone so had exchanged awkward pleasantries and small talk while Rosie climbed on her lap and sternly told Jackson that Y/n was her unnie. He tried to engage the toddler in conversation but she was having none of it, deciding to be extra possessive of her big sister that day. When she thought it couldn't get worse, her mother proved her wrong. Walking in she commented on what she called a "handsome young man come to give me grandchildren." Needless to say, this increased the awkwardness in the room by a hundred. It was so bad, Y/n had ended up yelling to everyone that birds were the last living descendants of the dinosaurs and that strawberries aren't berries at all.

Jackson had stayed for supper at her mother's behest, which, of course, made everything worse. Starting off, it wasn't too bad. Until Seo-Joon walked in. Seated at the head of the table and gripping his chopsticks in one hand, he glared Jackson down until Y/n had to kick him under the wooden, rectangular surface. Not that it stopped him. He continued to sit here like a mob boss about to green light a hit on the man's life.

Fortunately, Jackson had announced his departure shortly after and it was her dad who walked him out, despite her brother having offered.

The event caused another form of anxiety to knot in her stomach. Even if she did ever say her feelings out loud to Jimin, Seo-Joon would drop out of the ceiling again and keep them apart. She really wished he would ease off, but years of knowing him told her that Seo-Joon had no chill.

Jimin's arrival brought her out of her reverie. He handed over a steamed bun, proudly informing her that he had inquired which one had no meat, and then had went on to ask for the whole list of ingredients to make sure.

"I wrote them down so you can see."

She trusted his word but scanned the list he had typed on his phone anyway so as not to seem ungrateful. That was the last thing she felt. He was so thoughtful it made her want to cry.

Passing her over a Sprite, he sat in the next stool over.

There were no conversation exchanged but the silence was familiar and comfortable. The quiet was something she appreciated, more so now that she lived and worked with small children.

When the food was finished and they sat sipping their drinks, he checked something on his phone before shoving it back into the pocket of his coat, now with a determined (yet nervous) expression.

"Y/n."

She couldn't remember the last time he had said her actual name and it gave her a sense of foreboding.

"Y-Yes?"

"Saturday night," he said slowly, eyes carefully watching her face. "It's this year's first snow."

Already knowing that, she smiled and nodded. She couldn't wait. Snow was one of her favorite things in life. The sight, the smell, the calm and quiet sound it made while it fell. For years she and her brother had held a tradition. Whether it was the first snow or any after, if it fell at midnight or later they would sit by the window drinking hot chocolate and watch while reminiscing together.

Rather than sharing in her excitement, he cast his eyes downward. It wasn't long before he cleared his throat, wetted his lips and set them back to hers again.

"Meet me that day. I have something to tell you."

"Why...don't you tell me now?"

Jimin shook his head in the negative and alarm bells went off in her head. He wanted to leave her. That was the first thought that popped into her mind. As stupid as it was, she couldn't shake it. It didn't matter that it made no sense. It made sense to her.

"I have something to tell you then. Will you meet me?"

"I..." she drifted off, wondering if she put whatever this was off if he would forget about it. Whatever it was, she didn't want to hear it. He was too nervous, and that couldn't bode well for her. It just couldn't. "I can't." she blurt out.

At this, his shoulders drooped. All over again, she hated herself. Saturday was the only day this week she didn't have to work. That meant going a day without seeing Jimin and already she dreaded it. Here he was wanting to see her and admitting it, even asking her to come out and meet him and she denied him.

The sadness and disappointment on his face made her squirm in her seat and her heart to constrict. This wasn't what she wanted. Jimin should always be happy and she shouldn't be a person who brought grief to others. She was the unworthy one here, not Jimin.

"Y/n, I'm serious. I have something really important to tell you and it has to be that day." his voice was pleading, nearly desperate. It made her feel a hundred times worse than she had before, but she couldn't shake off the bad feeling.

"Just tell me now?" she asked timidly, wondering if that was truly what she wanted.

He sighed. "It won't be special if I say it now. Please? Please just meet me then. I'll bring you a pack of Dr Pepper in glass bottles."

A breath hitched in her throat. Dr Pepper in glass bottles? That was the best. Maybe they'd make any potential rejection worth it? Probably not, but it was alluring. No matter what road she traveled, to know that was the prize at the finish line made her want to run faster.

Despite her reluctance, she hesitantly nodded and agreed. "Alright. What time? Where?"

Any hesitance she felt before melted away at the pure joy on Jimin's face. Eyes bending into crescents, he beamed and her pulse quickened. He was attacking her again. This man was seriously bad for her heart.

"When the snow starts." he replied hastily as though she would change her mind any second. "At that park down the road. The one closest to your apartment."

All the details sent her mind to wondering again just what it was. The persistence in which he asked and the happiness when she agreed pointed to the idea that this wasn't a planned rejection but something else. Something she couldn't, or rather, wouldn't unravel.

Deep down, she knew what he wanted to tell her. Or, she liked to tell herself, maybe that was only what she hoped.

There was only one way to find out.

—
Edited 7/29/22