Date: ‪October 31st‬
Time: ‪12:23am‬
Location: Home, Y/n's bedroom
Mood: In dangerous fangirl territory
<><><>

The darkness of her ceiling was endless. In the night hours the white paint was invisible and one could pretend that it was anything other than the boring expanse of plaster if they wished to. A starless night sky. A quiet lake illuminated only by the moon's light. A black canvas waiting for color to fill it.

To her, it was an enormous screen for her thoughts, memories and the what if's of her imagination to be projected upon.

"You are brighter than the sun."

Jimin's voice played on repeat, the awe and set conviction in his tone confusing and embarrassing her a bit more each time.

The words he spoke, all of them held an overall feeling of honesty to them. But he was wrong. It was her fault. She did deserve it. She definitely couldn't be brighter than the sun because he wouldn't have lasted a second next to her before bursting into flames.

Maybe she was thinking on that last point a little too literally.

Jimin didn't lie. He said what he meant, even if she disagreed. However, she wanted to agree. For what she had thought would be a second, had turned into hours. Hours where she wanted to believe him. Deep inside she knew he was right. However, you couldn't drop an idea that had stuck with you for years just because a handsome man said you were wrong. Ideals like that were more like weights that had to be pried away. That was what he had done. He had lifted a few pounds and tossed them off as if they were nothing.

"You have a beautiful heart."

What did that mean? Now she analyzed his every word, hearing them again and again and she mulled them over. That, and the soft smile he delivered right after. Sad eyes. One crooked tooth. The way he continually swept his hair through his hair. And then that weird hand imprint on the edge of the counter she noticed when he walked away. It was right where he'd been gripping it. How strong was this guy?

It didn't matter. That wasn't what her mind settled on. It was the respectful distance when he walked away without looking back, the space he granted her like he knew she would need it after such an heavy conversation. It was the words left unsaid but ardently felt. It was the tamed fury beneath his skin. His polite rejection of her rejection. His anger on her behalf.

That was when Y/n realized that she'd always gotten it wrong. Jimin couldn't be summed up with adjectives like tiny man, or stalker, or weirdo. Jimin was something else unheard of. Deeper than she'd expected and more thoughtful than he had initially let on.

She had a crush on him.

That was obvious. But was it ok?

Jimin wasn't like anyone else. There was that strange feeling of connection when it came to him, for one. Then there was those sparks that one time they touched. Although, that part she could have imagined. She didn't, and she knew she didn't, but she elected to pretend that she did. Sparks or none, there was still something there.

First came that guy in middle school whose named she couldn't be bothered to remember, then came Jackson. But neither experience helped her here. This wasn't the same.

Mainly because those two she had crushed on. Jimin...she liked. As a person. As a man. Not solely in a physically attractive way, but in a whole way.

Amazing how no one was near and still her face burnt up at the thought of it. Really, this wasn't good. Being oblivious at least kept her from becoming a complete stuttering, awkward, blushing mess. Unfortunately(?), the flood gates had opened now and there was no corner of her mind she could retreat to where Jimin hadn't invaded.

In one corner: "Are you happy? I'm happy." Along with a grin and a cute giggle. Absently she played with the ends of her hair.

In another: "You're beautiful. Every inch of you." Her ears burned as the flush spread to there.

And another: A breathless Jimin racing up to her. "Hi, Y/n!"

Then another corner, a memory she had temporarily forgotten thanks to Jackson's unprecedented arrival. "I want to get to know you but I've never dated before, so I don't know how to go about this."

The speed with which she sat up left her feeling light headed. She paid it no mind. All that she thought about now was the fast paced questions and the very slow arrival of realization.

What was THAT? Dated before? How to go about this? This? THis? THIS??? WHAT DID HE THINK THIS WAS?

"Does he...?" Whispering to herself, she quickly shook her head at the thought. That was absurd. Jimin couldn't....

"Also, you're a girl, so I thought..." A thornless, red rose was what he had thought.

Love at first sight.

Mouth dropping open, all the puzzle pieces slowly drifted together until she could see the whole picture. The whole weird picture. The one where she was willingly oblivious and he followed her around. Everything from "you're human!" to "I see you for what you are, and you have a beautiful heart."

It was scary. It was beautiful. It was overwhelming. It felt good.

But maybe she was looking too much into it. Maybe he didn't feel the same?

No. Y/n was a logical thinking person and preferred to think with her brain before her heart or emotions. Although emotions did tend to win out when she was feeling depressed. Jimin's words and actions were unmistakable. Either he was performing the weirdest one man show ever, or he liked her.

...or he was a stalker and had finally got her where he wanted her.

OR Jimin liked her.

The thought hit her hard and she didn't know what to do with the feeling. Without thinking, her fists aggressively hit her pillow before flinging it away. Once that was across the room, pulling the covers over her head and kicking at them seemed like the appropriate response.

Suddenly stopping, she slowly sat up again, the blanket dropping to her lap. Calmly she stood and moved to retrieve the pillow, thankful that her eyes had adjusted to the darkness enough for her to accomplish that much. Moving back to stand next to the bed, she relaxed.

As of now, she was calm. Calm as the sea. Calm as the setting sun. Calm as an asteroid heading straight for earth, it's aim to kill millions and bring on a new ice age. Or something.

The pillow in her hands was aimed at the bed where she began to hit every surface of it she could reach.

Red marshmallow.

Heart flipping over in her rib cage, she whimpered and dropped back on the bed, squashing the same pillow over her face that she was previously abusing.

<><><>
‪3:01am‬

The apartment was still. The night lingered on, dark and silent. Outside a storm had begun hours ago, the streaks of lightning stretching across the sky and the rolling thunder had sent Rosie crying to her parents bedroom already. Buckets poured down, soaking everything it touched.

Inside, Y/n's brain was still moving a mile a minute. Sleep given up on, the small bedside lamp had been turned on. The soft glow allowed her to see the notepad and pen in her lap. Eucalyptus and lavender, the two potted plants gifted by Jackson sat on the windowsill and filled the room with their relaxing scents. It would have been a comfy setting if not for the merry-go-round of thoughts circling in her head.

She liked Jimin.

Jimin may or may not like her in return. Probably. No, possibly. It was possibly a probability. Or not.

But there was something else she had forgotten that now plagued her.

Jimin wasn't normal. To be fair, Y/n was also far from being described as such. But Jimin? There was something off.

Like on all her favorite episodes of true crime television and the countless documentaries she had watched, she wanted to emulate that. Not the murder part, (because let's be real she was less threatening than a ball of yarn) but the investigation aspect of it. While she held a compassionate heart and wanted to help people and she loved animals and nature, this was her real passion.

In fact she had debated for a while on which path to take when it came to this sort of thing because there were multiple choices. In the end her love for learning and biology won out and she chose the scientific side of it. Blood spatter analyst. Her whole family was downright confused with the choice. But it proved the old saying true. Looks could be deceiving. Because Y/n could talk about blood for hours.

"But now," she whispered, aiming her attention to the notepad and pen on her lap, "back to this bitch who had a lot to say about me the other day in the press, Jimin, what's good?"

This was why she would be forever alone. Besides all of that social anxiety goodness, who would understand her references and weird sense of humor?

He growls like a cat (this could be his allergies)
Can move faster than Busta Rhyme's can bust a rhyme
Twists a metal shelf with his bare hands?

She paused and eyed her list, knowing there was more and willing her brain to remember it all.

"Oh!"

Has a mate

Jimin had a mate while this green haired, organized Yoongi character had a pack mate. Why a vacuum sealed bag was so important was unknown.

The green-haired costumer, now known to her as Yoongi, was also in question here. There was definitely something up there. Yoongi had been coming into the store everyday for a few months before Jimin ever arrived. The quiet countenance and relaxed nature of his character made his presence a welcome one. Never one to approach first or try to engage in small talk—or any talk for that matter—Yoongi was in her familiar zone.

Then Jimin arrived. There appeared to be a standoff of some sort that resulted in that growling sound she now attributed to his allergies. Although she would like to keep thinking that, she circled the word, 'growls'.

An involuntary shiver ran through her when she thought back to the day she found the spider in her room. Out of common practice she paused in her investigation and lifted her covers, carefully inspecting the bed for any the eight legged creatures from her worst nightmares. When none were found she checked her pillows and then re-checked everything to be on the safe side.

The reason she thought of the spider (she cringed) in the first place was because Jimin had seemed impossibly fast that day. Initially she had attributed her perception of the event to the all-consuming fear and panic that had taken hold of her. But that was not the first time she had witnessed him moving that fast. Maybe he was a track runner? Maybe it was nothing...she circled the word, 'fast'.

The metal shelf fiasco had been passed off as a whatever because it was too illogical to wrap her mind around. Y/n didn't like things that didn't make sense. Mysteries and biology and trigonometry was a like a puzzle that you could piece together until it made sense. There was no viable end or beginning argument for this so she passed it off as unimportant. Yet it wasn't normal so why was she normalizing it? Without another thought, she circled, 'strong'.

Lastly for obvious reasons she circled 'mate'. The word triggered her for some reason.

Now it was time for the all knowing Mr Google to do what it does best. Answer questions. Except she had no questions, but a series of words. Feeling stupid and not just a little silly about this entire thing, she pulled up the browser on her phone and typed in her four keywords. Fast. Strong. Growls. Mate.

The first result was from something called a wattpad.

Alpha's Got a Hard On—A gay werewolf fanfiction by DoUNoBTS?

Her expression fell flat as she dropped the phone to rub at her eyes. Why had she thought that would work? Feeling more ridiculous by the second, she retrieved the phone from the blankets and continued to scroll, the search results bringing out a series of giggles as they progressively grew stupider.

Reddit question—Why does my dog growl when I kiss his head?

A news article—Carl Vogt, a local foreign man has adopted fifty two cats. But is it legal?

Yahoo answers—Can my dog make my turtle pregnant?

Yahoo answers—my boufrend said to choice wich grilzz

And then a few more from this thing called Wattpad which in her uneducated opinion, seemed like a scary place.

Touch Me Daddy—a werewolf fanfiction by JustinSeagull1265314861

I'm a Werewolf, Bitch!—a werewolf fanfiction by GandalfsLeftNut

Seahorse/Donkey Hybrid Mates With a Werewolf?—a CNCO fanfiction CNCOwnersPresidente

And that, Y/n deemed with no small amount of worry, was enough internet for tonight.

—
Edited 7/25/22