△
𝙲͢𝚑͢𝚊͢𝚙͢𝚝͢𝚎͢𝚛͢ 𝟷͢𝟿͢
▽

Thankfully I have a free period after lunch. I'd been hoping to spend that time on the tennis court to get a small practice in, but this is much more important.

The Taekwondo club room is labeled a gym by the students and staff, but technically it's more of a training hall. When I enter the first thing I see is the South Korean flag hung up on one wall, along with a sign displaying the rules of conduct while inside the dojang. One wall is covered in floor to ceiling length mirrors, and portions of the floor contain large square practice mats.

"Jungkook?" There's no one else in sight but him. A bunch of practice gear is hung from hooks on the wall and he stands next to them with his back to me, his hands in his hair.

Just inside of the door, I stop in my tracks as I take in his posture. The vibes here instantly catch me off guard. There's not a lot I can put that hunch on other than my natural instincts telling me to back away. He's not mad, he's next level.

I gulp as his hands drop to his sides and he turns to look at me. Those eyes looking at me are so dark. Not red at all. So that's a good sign. I guess. And while he's not glaring, there's something, maybe it's my instincts saying this too, in his expression that tells me that there's a thunderstorm going on in his head right now.

My mouth opens but nothing comes out. What do I say?

Sorry? That would be disingenuous. He had no right to my body after rejecting me for years.

What's wrong? That would be stupid. There might be something else going on with him, but it's obvious why he stormed off in the first place.

"Jungkook..." Lost for anything useful to say, I repeat his name, hoping he would be the first to talk. Feeling like a coward, my eyes go my hands, noting with irritation that my nail polish is chipped on one finger. Cause that's relevant right now. Forcing myself to focus, I look back up but blink in surprise when he's much closer than he was a second ago.

He stares for another long moment, jaw ticking before he's striding forward, his eyes firm with a purpose. The move is so sudden that I begin to backpedal, almost tripping over myself until my back connects with the door, slamming it shut in the process. For once my pussy decides not to pop because it's too busy shriveling up and hiding, something I really should have considered doing before coming in here without a game plan.

The tension lining his shoulders made it's way into his voice. "How many?"

"One hundred." If he wants to be ridiculous, I can be too.

His freaking Superman-laser-beam eyes glare into head. There's still not a trace of red in them. No indication that his wolf is the one guiding these actions. "I'm being serious." He growls, undoubtedly remembering how much I hate it.

"So am I. I've been with 100 men." I cross my arms and wait for him to give me his worst, hoping that mama was right and he's not about to crush my heart to a fine paste. "Now that you know what a hoe I am, what are you going to do about it?"

Irritation skitters across my skin when he growls again. "If you aren't going to answer that question then answer this: Why?"

"Why, what?"

The hand hanging at his side clenches into a fist. "Why did you have..." he pauses on a grunt, as though saying the words out loud will hurt. I grant him the small mercy of not forcing him to say it.

"Are you asking me why people have sex?"

"No. I asking why you did."

Beneath the annoyance and worry over this situation, I want to punch him in the butt so bad right now. 

"For the same reason that everyone else does." Somehow I manage to keep my voice calm and level. "Because it feels good. Because I like it. Because it's a normal thing to do."

"You shouldn't have done that. You should have waited for me like I waited for you."

A streak of anger chest lashes inside of my chest like a whip. It's not in the dangerous territory of becoming enraged, but it's getting real close. The next words come out without me thinking them beforehand, and I'm somewhat stunned at myself for not realizing how much I still held onto this hurt.

"But you didn't wait for me. You shoved me away and went on to happily date more than one person that wasn't me. So if you want to try and hold this against me, I'd rethink that if I were you, because I've never said a single, goddamn word about the cruel way rejected me years ago!"

He flinches and a dark part of myself enjoys it. Other than that, there's no response from him. Just an unnerving quiet as we stare each other down. With each second that passes, a heaviness in his gaze grows.

Then, the tip of his nose twitches twice before the whole thing wrinkles in distaste. All of a sudden, the hand that was planted on the door next to my head is retracted and the angry stranger disappears, leaving behind a perplexed Jungkook who I almost describe as looking heartbroken.

He blinks harshly while looking to his hand before coming back to me, still in the same frozen, shell shocked position as before. "You're afraid." Am I? ...yes. I am. And the hurt in his voice hurts me. "You shouldn't smell like that. Not with me. Not ever."

"It's ok..."

"It's not okay!" He doesn't yell but I wince anyway. It wasn't ok but I can understand why he feels betrayed. I'd felt that way for years. But how do I say that without it coming off as me trying to diminish the gravity of the situation? While I struggle to find something, anything to remedy the situation, his face hardens and he looks at me with another cold expression. "You should reject me. I don't deserve a mate, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anyone."

What is he saying? If anyone else I was in a relationship with said this to me during an argument like this, my mind would automatically assume they were trying to manipulate me. But that's not in Jungkook's character. If anything, this just proves that Felix is right and there is more going on here.

Since he's given me something to say, I reply with a flat, "no." Regaining my bearings, I step to move closer to him but he evades any proximity and the rejection stings.

"No. Everything you said was right and I won't forgive myself. It's not ok. Just," he tugs at an earring so hard I know it must hurt. "Just think about it. Any decision you come to is the right one."

Before I can say a word he's stormed past me out the door.

...What?

There's no indecision or second guessing in my next course of action. Just instinct. We may not have mated and there's no mark on my neck to show others that I'm his mate, but Jungkook is already a part of me that is just as crucial to my well being as any other organ in my body that gives me life.

I can't just let the other half of my heart be in pain or suffer in distress. I am him and he is me. He is mine and I am his. In a moment of misery he can try and deny facts but words said out of grief does not make them truth.

It's not very hard to track him down. Standing at 178 centimeters tall with mammoth sized shoulders packed with muscles, he looks like a holy terror as he storms down the hallways. Everyone parts like my legs during heat season and do their best to avoid him. Whether it's intentional or not, he's emitting a dominating alpha vibe that keeps others away. Even the humans with no supernatural abilities know and feel it.

The door to his locker flings open and smashes into the one next it when he reaches in to jerk his coat out of it. Thankfully there's no dent in the innocent locker adjacent. Because it's completely necessary in Jungkook's mind, he takes out more frustration on his poor locker and he slams it shut and then continues on his war path down the halls.

I follow at a safe distant. Once catching eyes with Wooyoung who signals my way, mouthing to ask if I need help. Waving him off with an appreciative smile, I trust that he's going to cover for me with my friends and give them a believable excuse for my sudden absence. Not sure how much good that'll do since Jungkook is doing nothing to hide the fact that he's leaving and looks ready to murder.

Had he been in any other state of mind, my mate should have sensed, or at least smelled, that I was following him. Heck, maybe he did but wasn't showing it.

I'm more inclined to believe that he didn't, considering his look of surprise when he gets into his Jeep, (not forgetting to slam that door too) and I climb in on the other side.

"Where are we going?" I keep my tone and body language level and calm. The complete opposite of the incredulous glare he sends my way and the fists gripping the steering wheel.

"What are you doing?" He counters, seemingly trying to calm his voice while looking like he wants to fling me from the car.

"What am I doing?" I ask. "I'm following you. You don't get to listen to my trauma and then run away to go brood off in bunny land or wherever it is that we're going. Reject you? Fuck off with that, Jungkook. I'll only say this once: We don't communicate like that. You don't get to brood over my pain and run away. You don't get to spew stupid, hurtful verbiage and then run away. If you need space, then say that. If you need time, then say that. If you have a problem, then say that."

"I didn't-"

One hand flies up to stop him. "I am not done."

Never, ever, ever have I interrupted him and spoken to him like this but my own instincts take over. Now I'm wondering if Jungkook was wrong in thinking I'm more on the submissive side. Because I really can't take the disrespect.

"And what you definitely do not get to do is try to earn my forgiveness through your own twisted idea of becoming a martyr. I haven't forgiven you for what you did, but I get to choose when that happens in my own path going forward. Me and you?" I motion back and forth between us. "We are endgame. We aren't going to break up. We aren't going suffer any misunderstandings. We are NOT rejecting each other. There's going to be issues for us. That's normal. But we handle it together."

Slowly the anger in his expression bleeds away and sadness is left behind. He looks so tired, so broken. There's a look of confused apprehensive that he regards me with, blinking a few times before asking a one word question.

"Why?"

"Isn't it...obvious?" I mean, to me it is. "Because you're my Jungkook. And I'm your Lucretia. You're my chosen and my soulmate. We aren't alone in this life. My problems are your problems. Your pain is my pain. Your future is my future."

Something substantial crosses over his face. It's like ten emotions rolled into one. Surprise, perplexity, curiosity, that look you get when you're really wishing something is true, the expression he got when I let him touch my hair. But there's also a touch of fear and regret that I attribute to his actions from before.

One of his hands raise as though to touch me and I wait for it, glad to welcome something familiar to soothe is both. But he drops it back to the steering wheel before it's even half way to me.

"Are you real?" He whispers.

Forget why he's whispering; I'm trying to figure out if he intentionally skipped a word in that question. Did he mean to say "are you for real?" Because if so, this is about to go south.

Not knowing how to answer that, I decide to gingerly approach the more important subject at hand. "Hey...you're upset about more than that stupid game in the lunchroom, yeah?" I backtrack when his jaw clenches and he directs his gaze out of the windshield. "We don't have to talk about details. Just a yes or no..."

A huff of air exits his nose before he replies so quietly I almost miss it. "Yes."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I venture carefully.

Another long moment of silence passes where he doesn't look at me. "I want to get out of here."

"Alright. If it's ok with you, you're not alone and I'm not going to let you think you are, so I'm coming with."

"You don't need to." He gruffs.

"Yes I do. Where are we going? Seatbelt." I point out after buckling my own.

Silently he starts the car and then straps himself in. The Jeep sits idle and he fiddles around with the GPS app on his phone. When I look to see what he has in mind, it appears as if he himself has no idea either. Location after location goes by and he scrolls on down.

"Why don't we go to your place in your pack?"

His reply shocks me, not just for the words but also for the venom behind them. "I'm not going back there."

This proclamation sends my head into a tailspin. Whatever is wrong is definitely worse than I thought for him to reject his whole pack. There's a billion questions on the tip of my tongue and a weighted barbell of curiosity loading down my shoulders but I evade asking the obvious.

"You can come to my house. Papa is there with my baby brother but I don't think he'd mind..."

The suggestion seems to appeal to him but he waves it off a second later. "Maybe later. Right now I need some seclusion."

"Oh." I try to ignore the wave of embarrassment that hits me. "Then if you need space, I can-"

"No!" Again his hand shoots out and this time grabs at the fingers that has been undoing my seatbelt. "I didn't mean it like that. Please...stay with me. I'm sorry...I don't deserve it. But please let me be selfish just this once."

Is he serious? I'd backflip off a bridge into a lake of rabid raccoons if he told me to.

"Then, I might have the perfect place." I ignore the twinge of hurt I feel as he quickly retracts his fingers when it's obvious I'm not leaving. "I actually have my own cabin. It's just on the edge of the pack and no one is super close by."

It's an odd feeling to flex the house my dead grandpa had left to me last year when he died. Since that had happened, all of his personal belongings and special keepsakes had been collected by mama. Once a week we go in and clean the place to keep it well maintained. Technically I'm supposed to have moved in when I turned 18 but I've been stalling on that.

Leaving home is scary. Leaving my mama is terrifying. Sitting in a house where there's nothing but silence when I'm used to the sound of 6 younger siblings all day is uncomfortable. I've been making baby steps in that direction. Honestly, I have.

It has a bed and bedding. Two bowls and some non perishable food items. A couple towels for a shower and my gaming pc. The bare minimum of essentials. Usually I use it for reading or studying...or masturbating.

Jungkook takes in the information before nodding but doesn't ask any of the questions that I would if the roles were reversed. "Lead the way."

The drive there is excruciating. Jungkook is in full alpha brooding mode and I'm overthinking things and hurting my own feelings with the scenarios I create in my head. No, he probably isn't going to say that I'm a nasty whore with attachment issues who eats too much and he can't mate with someone like that. But my imagination knows no bounds.

Rather than dwell on the (hopefully) impossible, I text mama to let her know what's going on and that I left school early, only speaking up to give Jungkook directions.

We have to drive through the pack to get to the house, but there aren't a lot of pack members milling about to see a strange Jeep driving through. Or at least, not enough see it and care enough question it. Just like my own, each cabin is built in the A-frame style, some bigger than most but all with steel rooftops with solar panels affixed to them.

The pack grounds aren't built like houses with forests on either side. Rather, we built them in the forest and avoided cutting down as many trees and harming nature as much as possible. The roads are winding and steep and during the winter months can be difficult to traverse. Traverse is a fancy word that I hope I'm using correctly.

In the center of the pack is a gazebo made of oak with ivy winding up and down the structure. That's usually where we go when we hold a 'family dinner' that consists of the entire pack where we barbecue. Technically it's for keeping us connected as a whole, but honestly, it's our excuse to eat, gossip, and get drunk. And for the kids to revert to our natural form and play.

Usually on any car rides I would be running my mouth nonstop. And stories like these are ones that I would love to share with Jungkook. But with his current mood it's not a good idea.

He's been quiet for so long and his body language so tense, I tentatively reach out and touch the back of his hand that has been sitting on his thigh. However, when I do so, his fist clenches. So even though there are other things bothering him, he is still mad at me.

Hoping that it's not obvious, I move my hand from him and point to a road that takes us off into a dirt path. He takes it and glances at me for a second but I avoid his gaze, too afraid of what emotion I'll see in his eyes.

All of our streets are paved except for this one leading to 'my' house. Grandpop hated the smell of tar and cement and didn't want it anywhere near his place. Eventually, if I manage to cut the cord and separate myself from mama, I don't think I'll pave it. I like that there's still a piece of his memory here.

It's a minute or two before the cabin comes into view. It's completely black, like my grandpop would say: just like his soul. The trimming around the windows are white though. On the bottom level are two shutters over the windows made of a twine-like texture and sewn into tree shapes in each panel. Up top on the second floor is a single circular window framed with vines. Nonvisible from the front, the back wall is made of glass.

As shown within the rest of my pack, surrounding us on all sides are trees. This cabin is further out from the rest and has the plus of more privacy.

When the car stops I get out first, wanting to escape from the tension in there. Without looking back to see if he's following, I trek up to the house on stepping stones until I'm climbing the stairs to reach the front porch. At this point I hear the shutting of the car door and slow my steps until he's close behind.

The door's unlocked. We don't bother locking it as we live in the middle of no where and have no threat of burglary.

The hinges of the front door creak as it opens and I make a mental note to grease the hinges later on. Stepping aside in the entrance, I wait for Jungkook to come in before speaking.

"Over there is the kitchen...obviously." I point to our immediate right, to the miniature kitchen displaying wooden beige and white counters, simple stove and fridge. "The fireplace is functioning and there's wood around back if you need it. A lighter is on the mantle." The room adjacent to the kitchen on our left holds a small dining table in one corner, my gaming pc and desk in another, and the black fireplace and sofa in the center.

The walls are a dark, forest green, a color I hand picked and spent hours covering every inch of the wall with the help of my friends. In one section behind the sofa there remains a square of white (the room's original color) where mine, Tsubaki, and Antonia's names and the date are written in paint. I don't care if it looks tacky. It's special to me.

Jungkook doesn't reply in any way except to nod. Not when I point out the door at the far wall, identifying it as the bathroom or when I motion to another to the downstairs bedroom. But he does give me a strange look when I go on.

"The lower bedroom is pink though, so if you want a less feminine vibe, you can use the loft. But if you sleep there, you should know that there's no curtains. I want my plants to get as much sunlight as possible."

He looks to the ladder leading to the loft as though considering and then back to me. It gives me the impression that he wants to say something, but he doesn't. After an uncomfortable minute of me shifting around, I turn to leave.

"Then...I guess I'll leave you now. Call me if you need anything."

A surprised squeak comes out of my mouth when his arms suddenly come from behind to crush me to his chest. It's so tight, I couldn't break out if I wanted to. I don't, but he seems to think that I do since he tightens his hold when I begin shifting around in surprise, trying to look back at him.

"Don't leave me." He says in a low voice, his lips tickling my neck. "You said you wouldn't. Please stay."

—

There won't be an update next weekend, but the story will continue on May 20th