△
𝙲͢𝚑͢𝚊͢𝚙͢𝚝͢𝚎͢𝚛͢ 𝟷͢𝟹͢
▽

Antonia got mad at me for forgetting our friend date that I've had to reschedule three times now.

Mr Kim, my tennis coach, gave me an earful about how irresponsible it is to skip practices and that I should consult the team before doing so. It made me feel awful because he's right. My teammates shouldn't have to suffer just because I wanted to have a date with my chosen. We all have the same passion for this sport but suffer when one member doesn't perform at the same rate as everyone else.

Then even Jungkook got mad at me for going to work with Wooyoung. Something he said he WOULDN'T DO. It's not that I don't understand him. Of course he's going to feel that way as an alpha ranked werewolf. While his demands are extreme, I don't think he's being unreasonable. I would feel just as jealous if our positions were swapped.

What hurts me is knowing that he's upset for any reason, especially when it's me causing it. Jungkook should be crowned king of the world and should always be happy. He should have servants peeling grapes for him and rubbing his feet. I wouldn't hurt him for the world. That he might be slightly upset over a paper cut torments me just as much as if it were serious injury. He's a treasure and should be treated like one.

So all of that sort of had me on edge but then I had to deal with a ghost that instead of moving on had decided to stay and scare the crap out of his family daily. If I were in any other mood I would have found humor in the situation.

But as it were, the family was terrified and didn't find it funny and grandpa was insulted by their lack of humor and muttered, "fine then, you want me to go into the goddamn light so bad? Then I will."

Case closed.

On the drive home Wooyoung wanted to tease me about Jungkook but one cannot out-tease the teaser. That's my ballpark and he can't win that game with me. When that failed he might have 'accidentally' learned that I had seen Jungkook naked and wanted all the details. Of course I gave them. Gotta brag on my man at every opportunity.

When I get home it's like I'm walking into a war zone.

Evidently Selwyn (my two year old brother) was still feeling under the weather and didn't want to put be down at all, for any reason and refused to let anyone but our mom touch him. Mama's looking slightly frazzled but she's got the patience level of a saint so I know she'll be good.

Papa had left to go pick up his medicine from our pack doctor and a few other things from the grocery store, leaving my younger siblings alone and 'starving to death' according to them.

Atticus tried to help out by making grilled cheese sandwiches for everyone, but everything went to shit when he had his back turned on Calpurnia and Cassius who got into a fight over a video game. Peregrine had resorted to eating crayons (it's papa's fault for starving her) and our little angel Lavinia (aka, my favorite sibling but don't tell anyone I said that) decided to help out by cleaning the toilet with a whole bottle of shampoo.

When I walked in mama was mean mugging everyone. Usually by this point all she'd have to do was say their name in her scary mom voice and they would all fall in line. But with a teary and clingy toddler in her arms that cried when she even moved, all she could do was kill them with her eyes.

All I had to do to stop Calpurnia and Cassius's fight was to grab them both by the scruff of their necks and direct their attention to our mother. One glance at her expression and suddenly they were on their best behavior. I traded Peregrine the crayons for some strawberries and talked to Lavinia about maybe not using a whole bottle of shampoo on the toilet before helping Atticus with dinner. It was the first time he's smiled at me in weeks.

It's another adventure trying to get everyone to wash up afterwards, but is made easier when papa finally gets home and suddenly everyone is perfectly well behaved and ready to do anything he tells them to. Typical.

It's only been two hours for me dealing with them but my parents do this 24/7. It's not like I don't like taking care of them but sometimes it can get overwhelming.

"Why did you decide to have so many kids?" I ask papa out of frustration after the last of them has been tucked into bed.

"Seemed like a good idea at the time." He shrugged. "I'm kidding." Chuckling at the offended look on my face, he dipped down to touch his forehead to mine in a very lycan form of affection. "We have so many because your mother can't keep her hands to herself and one thing leads to another-"

"KAY, THANKS."

He snorts and holds his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Don't ask if you don't want an honest answer."

To quote Jungkook: I swear to god.

When he's left for bed I'm debating on whether to take a second shower (I'd had one after tennis) or to head straight to bed, Jungkook calls on FaceTime. Pretty sure I've ever moved as fast as I did when I rushed to my bedroom to give us some privacy. The second the door was shut I answered.

A cat just called me.

Like...there's a white cat with blue eyes on the other end of the camera instead of Jungkook.

"Meow."

Is that cat for hello? "Uh..."

"This is Bunny." The phone moves until Jungkook appears on screen as well, on his bed and laying on his stomach next to the animal. "She's my best friend."

"Meow."

"Bunny, this is Lucretia, she's my mate." They look to one another and I swear to Pistis I see that cat nod before she turns back to me.

"Meow."

"She says it's nice to meet you." Jungkook says with the utmost (I like that word. It makes me feel smart for using it right) seriousness.

"Hi bunny-"

"Meow."

"It's nice to meet you." I can't help but to add in a question for my mate. "Jungkook, am I crazy or is this cat understanding everything we're saying?"

"You're not crazy." He kisses Bunny's head and they nuzzle against each other. I'm stupid jealous over witnessing that. "Bunny is just very smart."

"Meow."

"Also I trained her to meow when she hears her name." His voice changes to a babying one. "Isn't that right, Bunny? Aren't you the just the smartest little kitty in the world??"

"Meow."

"She is cute. How old is she?"

Jungkook spills all of the details on Bunny, from when he got her as a gift from kitten-hood, to how she bounces as she runs, to each personality trait, favorite foods, toys, her birthday, the time she ran away and tried to get pregnant, and how they always go on runs together. It's the longest time that I've ever heard him talk and I take note to treat Bunny just as preciously as I treat Jungkook because she's obviously someone that he loves very much.

I'm so jealous. Will he ever talk about me like that to someone?

"Is BeakBeak there?" He asks after the lengthy speech on all things Bunny.

"No, BeakBeak has migrated for the winter. He left last week." A sigh escapes me, worry tugging at my feelings as I wonder where he is and if he's ok. "He's only two and hasn't found a mate yet." I let Jungkook in on some of my concerns. "Last winter he didn't migrate because he was injured so this is is first time. What if the other ducks are mean to him? What if he can't find his way home?"

"He'll find his way home. Have you ever lost your way when you're out in the forest?" When I shake my head in the negative he goes on. "Exactly. It's instinct, we know which way to go. Plus, birds can feel the earth's magnetic field or some shit like that, right?"

"Yeah." I have no idea what he's talking about. I do not pay attention in school. Not unless it's history. "What if the girl ducks are mean to him and he can't find a mate?"

"Don't assume his sexuality, Lucretia." He scolds in a teasing way. My tummy flips when he says my name. "He might be gay. Or asexual."

"BeakBeak can be whatever he wants to be and he's still king in my heart."

For a second his lips move into a pout before they straighten out again.

"Just BeakBeak?"

I pretend to think for a moment. "My dad too. He's been an excellent male role model. You have a lot to live up to."

"Is he as scary as your mom?"

"No but he likes to think he is." My poor papa didn't even get to hear that sick burn.

Bunny bumps into the screen and the phone falls over. Jungkook chuckles in the background and when he straightens the phone back up, his cat has gone to lay on my mate's back but still continues to look at me as though she's part of this conversation.

"So." He let's the word drag out until there's a silence like he's trying to think of something to say. "What are you doing?"

"I talking to you." The corners of my lips twitch as I fight off a smile.

"I think you meant to say that you're talking to your boyfriend." He points out while my over-popped pussy gets excited all over again. If that thing don't stop- "How many boyfriends have you had?" He suddenly asks.

"Zero." My answer is honest. I've had sex but that's just because I go into heat in the spring time. But I've never had a boyfriend. The only person I wanted to have a relationship like that with didn't want that with me. Not until now.

"Zero?" He echoes. "That doesn't seem right."

Does he think I'm lying? "And why is that?"

"Because you're fucking gorgeous." He says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. I mean, it kind of is. "I find it hard to believe that no one has ever shown that kind of interest in you."

"They have." Kim Ju-won, Choi Dae-Ho, Kang Chin-Mae, and many others. I remember all of their names so that I know who to avoid and pretend they don't exist. Maybe that's mean but I'm very cautious around men (outside of my pack) who I've rejected. You never know when or if they'll get their delicate man feelings hurt and take things too far. One experience was enough for me. "But I always turned them down. That's not the lycan way. When it comes to romantic relationships, we save that for our chosen, if our chosen wants romance to be part of the deal."

"Chosen? What does that mean?"

"For my kind it means you're my mate or someone I'm very attached to. It can be a platonic thing."

"You're attached to me?"

He has no idea. "Of course I am. This thing between us is a two way street." I say, exposing a fraction of my heart to him. I should probably be concerned over the surprise on his face that my confession causes. I hate that. He shouldn't be surprised that someone cares for him.

"I feel like I don't deserve that kind of affection from you."

"Honestly? You don't. You were an asshole to me before." He cringes and I try not to feel guilty about that. But I'm not going to pretend that our past was a pleasant adventure.

"I know." He agrees. "It was stupid the way I acted. I'm sorry, Lucretia. You didn't do anything to earn that kind of abuse. And I'm going to spend every day we have together making up for it. He leans out of the frame for a moment and comes back with a notebook and a pencil, flipping it open until he finds the right page. "What's your favorite flower?"

I flip the phone around for a second to hide my grin from him. When I've composed myself I turn the phone back to my face again. "I like sunflowers and forget me nots and peonies. But I like greenery more. Like succulents and herbs and ferns. Especially ferns."

The pencil races across the paper as he writes down everything I say. It's so stupid cute I wish I was able to squeeze him right now.

"Ok," he finishes up and moves on to the next question. "Favorite movie?"

"The Princess Bride." I was nine when my mama introduced me to that movie and for next year I wouldn't answer to my name because I wanted everyone to call me Buttercup. My grandparents loved that and until they died they still referred to me that way. Now I can't bear to hear it because it makes me miss them so bad.

"What candy do you like?"

"I don't really like candy. Chocolate is good, but only dark chocolate and never Hersheys." That company is satanic.

Jungkook nods and continues. "What's your ideal date?"

Not expecting that question, I mull it over in my mind. As long as it was with Jungkook, I would enjoy anything. Movies, restaurants, an escape room, a trip to the beach. Heck, I'd probably wouldn't even be adverse to exercising, even though my soul shudders at the idea. People who like to exercise need an exorcism, in my educated opinion.

Then it hits me. "Camping. The lycan way. We could go somewhere where no human can find us and play and chase each other all day. Then we sleep under the stars in our natural forms. No talking and all feeling. No damage to nature with fumes from a campfire or a car. Just us and the earth."

When I blink out of my fantasy, I find him staring at me with a strange look in his eyes. "What?" I ask, slightly nervous over how much of myself I'd just exposed there.

"Nothing. It's just the way you talk sometimes that catches me off guard."

"How so?"

He wets his lips before answering. "When you speak about things that mean a lot to you, you get almost...poetic. And I can see all of that love in your expression too. I guess you can say I'm awestruck. I've never met anyone so open about their feelings."

I'm not sure if I would say I'm open about my feelings. It's more along the lines of the intensity at which a lycan's emotions burn. I don't love nature. I'm enamored by it. Every part of it. From the green hues of the plains, the wildness of the jungles, the flowers that bring color. Even to magic in the Bermuda Triangle, to the elusive meaning of life, to the snow tipped mountains, to the ugly craters and imperfections of it. This earth is something to be protected.

"Anyway," I don't miss the dusting of pink across Jungkook's cheeks as he looks back down to his list. "We already covered what you hate. But what are you afraid of?"

"Black holes." I blurt. "You know, the ones in space that not even the trained professionals understands? Like my aunt Mabel, it consumes everything. It can eat stars and where does does it go? WE DON'T KNOW. Plus there's this massive black hole in the middle of our universe just biding it's freaking time. Also, have you heard that Neptune is leaving us? It's drifting farther and farther away which sucks because that's my favorite planet besides earth. It has rings and a hexagon storm."

"That partly answers my next question." He scribbles away as I grow sadder over Neptune. "What makes you cry?"

"Neptune ditching us. The ending of My Sister's Keeper the book—not the movie. When Scar betrayed Mufasa. Violence—but that also scares me. When bees reject their queen. Honestly, I'm thinking about the whole Mufasa situation all over again and I'm starting to get emotional."

"In that case, let's move on from that question." He closes the notebook and sets it aside. "I've been thinking about what you said before. About the dominant versus the submissive in your pack...which are you? Does it really matter as far as pack dynamics go?"

"It does affect it somewhat...but not really? It's a fine line between the two. The ones that want to hunt are more dominant natured and the ones who don't really put themselves out there are on the submissive side. But that doesn't necessarily mean that they're submissive, it just means that they're more even tempered and that they're the thinkers and more logical side of the pack. And there's no higher rank whichever you are. We're all one. As far as me...I'm not sure. I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. I know when to speak up and when to stand my ground."

"That means you're more logical then." He points out.

"Oh. Yeah it does." I reply lamely. "Never thought of it that way. I just hate titles."

"Same. They change everything." He replies cryptically.

I hesitate for a second before deciding to ask, "how did things change for you when you found out you were an alpha?"

He doesn't answer right away. A flash of pain crosses his face which makes me regret asking the question in the first place.

"You don't have to answer that."

His stupidly beautiful hair bounces across his forehead as he shakes his head. "No, it's ok. Everything changed. Even though my friends promised it wouldn't. But they couldn't help it so I'm not holding it against them for saying that. I don't know if you know this, but it's extremely hard for two alphas to live together. Hobi-hyung and I lived in the house for years and the suddenly I couldn't stand him being near my room or my things or sometimes myself. It's so messed up because he didn't deserve that."

"I'm sure he didn't take it personally. He's alpha blooded too and probably understands."

"He does." Jungkook confirms. "But I miss being there with all of them. We had like our own mini family and it's like I ruined it."

"Please, you couldn't ruin anything even if you tried."

That's complete sincerity from me. Jungkook is perfect. I don't care what anyone says. My mind is so caught up in how immaculate my chosen is that I almost miss the curious look he gives me.

"Hey," he says softly and waits until I make eye contact with him. "I don't think I've said this before but I should have. I like you. A lot. Especially when you're trying to annoy me to death."

Is it stupid that my first reaction is to want to cry? I'm so weak for him, it's really ridiculous. Instead of crying I shove that emotion back and focus on the butterflies in my tummy.

It's definitely too early to tell him how I truly feel. So I reply with the most appropriate answer for now.

"I like you more."