Chapter 10: Bottom Line, You're Worth the Risk

I'm pulled from my slumber by the sounds of knocking on Hwasa's apartment door. I climb out of bed quickly, unsure of how long they've already been waiting and not wanting to miss them as I know Hwasa has already left for work leaving me alone in the apartment. I peek out of the door and see what looks like a delivery man and my eyes narrow curiously. I open the door and he smiles at me. "Good morning Miss L/N, special delivery for you," he says as he and two other delivery men enter with a vase of red roses in each hand. When they've set them all down, I count six vases of roses, one dozen each. Seventy-two roses. And I know exactly who they're from.

Remembering the social etiquettes, I head back towards my bedroom to grab my wallet. "Oh hold on let me get-" I start when they all put their hands up.

"No ma'am, it's already been taken care of. Happy birthday," one says and before I can protest again, they disappear through the front door. I see a card sitting proudly inside one of the bouquets and I reach for it.

Happy Birthday to the love of my life.

Looking forward to seeing you later to celebrate the first of many birthdays together.

I'm so glad that you were born.

I love you,

JM

It's not lost on me that I've only been twenty-nine for about eight hours, seven and a half of which I was sleeping, and Jimin has already wished me happy birthday twice. It is so different from last year when the man that supposedly loved me never mentioned it at all. I run to my room and pull out my cell phone and call him immediately. I'm met with his voicemail and I believe he does have a session this morning so I don't think anything of it. I'm in the middle of sending him a text thanking him for the beautiful flowers that are taking over Hwasa's living room when my phone whirls to life.

"Hi" I say, my smile so wide that my cheeks hurt.

"There's my birthday girl, how are you baby?"

"I'm good, wonderful. Thank you for my flowers, they are so beautiful."

"You're welcome, I'm glad that you like them... and as much as I hate to cut this short, I have to get back to my session."

"Wait.. you called me in the middle of a session?"

"I told them it was an emergency, it's okay."

The tears flood my eyes as his simple words that hold so much meaning wash over me. "But- it wasn't an emergency."

"Baby, anything with you is top priority. If you call me, it's important. I will always make time to talk to you. You've been on my no-wait list for months."

"No-wait list?" I ask.

"Yes, if you call the office, Lisa knows to put you through no questions asked." My mind drifts back to the early days when I didn't have my secret cell phone, and I would call his office to not have his personal cell all over my phone records. I always wondered how I got through so fast, knowing that Jimin is not only a very busy man but a very sought after counselor. I didn't understand how I could get him so easily on the phone. Now I do. I lick my lips as his words not only move me but turn me on. Over and over again, his words and actions prove to me that he is nothing like my soon-to-be ex-husband. He's kind and considerate and courteous. He's the man I should have been with from the beginning.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm driving to my lawyer's office for my meeting with Mark and our lawyers when my phone rings. I put the phone to my ear as my cell phone isn't synced to my Bluetooth. "Hi again," I smile immediately.

"I'm sorry I couldn't talk earlier," he says and I am so unfamiliar with his words that I'm rendered speechless. "I'm sorry I couldn't talk earlier." Not "I can't talk right now, I'll call you later"... and then doesn't. Or acting as if I'm bothering you when I do call. Who is this amazing human? Am I that jaded that I truly believed that Jimin would change from the caring man that he's been all along? "Y/N?" I hear him say and I wonder how many times he's said my name while I was spaced out.

"I'm here," I say, my bottom lip becoming trapped between my teeth as I think about all of the things I want to do to the man on the other end. "When can I see you?"

"Anxious, are we?" He says in a voice so sinful that I feel the goosebumps popping up over my skin.

"Yes," I breathe out.

"Me too," he growls. "Will you meet me at the house?"

I smile hearing him refer to our house so casually as if he's been doing it for years. "I would meet you anywhere. What time?"

"Maybe around seven?"

"Yes, of course."

"Park in the garage, I'll leave it open for you."

"Okay. Are we staying the night there?"

"I thought we could," he says and my body comes alive thinking about our first night in our new house.

"Jimin, what if- what if Mark is having me followed?" The million dollar question that I've been wondering for days. Mark believes that I'm sleeping with someone else, why wouldn't he be having me followed?

"What do you think Jungkook's other job is?"

"To make sure I'm not being followed?"

"Precisely. I pay him to be very aware. To have his eyes and ears open at all times, especially when I'm with you."

"I see."

"Y/N..." he says, his voice quiet. "You know I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe, right?"

"Yes."

"And I don't just mean physically safe. Safe in every way possible. I know you don't want Mark to discover the truth. I'm taking the necessary steps and precautions, okay?"

"Okay," I say, knowing that I trust him to keep us both out of the line of fire as best as he can.

"It's going to be okay, Y/N. I know that we're being risky but... there's only so long I can go without seeing you. The need to see you sometimes is so great, I feel like I can't breathe."

His words send a jolt of electricity through me, touching me every way it can. My head, my heart, my soul, my sex. I didn't know it was possible to be so unbelievably moved and turned on at the same time. "I feel the same," I say, unsure of how I managed to get the words out.

"Bottom line Y/N, you're worth the risk. You always have been," he says and I can't believe the words coming out of his mouth. I didn't know a man could love a woman like this. Love me like this.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Y/N," I hear from behind me before I enter into our usual room for an hour of cold looks and harsh words as we attempt to divvy up five years of marriage. I turn around and I see Mark walking towards me, his hands tucked in his pockets as if he's not looking to start an argument, but rather he comes in peace.

"Mark." I nod and I turn to walk through the door when he grabs my elbow gently and squeezes. I look at his hand that is still on my elbow and look up at him. "Yes?"

"I just wanted..." he shrugs and I actually see the hurt in his eyes. "Happy birthday."

He actually remembered this year. Wow. I nod. "Thank you, Mark."

He nods. "Are you doing anything today?"

Yes letting my boyfriend fuck me within an inch of my life. "Nothing in particular. I think Hwasa wanted to do something," I say, resorting to my usual story.

He nods again. "Well... I was thinking..." he says quietly as if he's scared to say the words. "We could have dinner... and talk."

My eyes widen. What could he possibly have to say? I was entertaining this whole "let me try and be nice to Y/N" charade because I fucked up and forgot her birthday last year AND she just found out what a liar I am, but my patience would only go so far. "Talk about what? The year of lies you've been sitting on?" Glass houses, Y/N. Put down the stone.

"I know you hate me, Y/N... but I can explain."

"No, you fucking can't," I bite out and walk through the door, not caring what he has to say in this moment.

The hour of negotiations was pretty tame today. I let Yoongi do most of the talking as I stared down at the ring Jimin gave me under the table and fantasized about being underneath him tonight. It had been a week to the day since I had seen him and all I wanted was to curl up in his arms and make love through the night. I don't know where or when this will take place, but at this point I'd settle for an hour in my car in a parking lot. The tears spring to my eyes as I feel the situation beginning to take a serious toll on me.

"Mrs. L/N," I hear next to me and I clear my throat, attempting to hide the tears that have formed and look at my lawyer.

"Yes?"

"Is that okay with you?"

"Is what okay with me?" I ask, feeling my cheeks heat up as the room realizes I've not been paying attention.

"Yoongi, your client is not taking today seriously, and I don't have time for it. She's disconnected from this entire process today. I can't-" Mark's lawyer starts.

"Which is completely normal, and you know it," Yoongi interrupts. "It's her birthday and she's dealing with this shit, I don't blame her for not wanting to be here," he looks at me and gives me a small smile. "Mrs. L/N, let's wrap up for the day and reconvene on Monday."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm walking through the garage after Yoongi ended our negotiations for the day after we settled the matter of the artwork on the main floor. Whatever, Mark can have it all. I hated all of those tacky pieces he chose. There was a gallery in Daegu I was in love with that had an entire theme that I wanted but Mark felt it was too feminine and therefore nixed all of my ideas. How did I not see it from the beginning? His disdain for me and all of my choices, my ideas, my dreams. Hell, he made me quit my job for Christ's sakes as if I couldn't possibly bring any value to a school.

I happen to know a certain Doctor that fucked me against a massive bookshelf whispering words of encouragement in my ear about how valuable I am. My thoughts of being with Jimin in his office are interrupted by my phone ringing. I dig through my purse and I cringe when I see the name flashing across the screen. "Fuck." Mama Tuan. Okay, Y/N. You knew you were going to have to deal with this eventually. Now or never. I climb into my car, knowing that this conversation may hinder my ability to keep myself upright.

"Mama Tuan," I say using my nickname for her.

"I didn't even think you'd answer..." she says and I don't detect a hint of anger in her voice, only sadness and despair. "Hello, darling."

"How... how are you?" I say resting my back against the seat and letting my shoulders sag.

"I've been better... seems like I'm losing a daughter."

I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the prickling in my scalp begin. Don't cry, Y/N. Don't cry. "I should have called you," I say honestly. "I'm sorry.. That I didn't. It just... It got to be too much, Mama Tuan. You have to know I tried. So hard."

I hear her sniffle and ice rattling against the glass and I wonder if she's poured herself a stiff drink to help get her through this conversation with her estranged daughter-in-law. "Don't give up on him, Y/N. Don't give up on my baby. He's just- lost."

"I didn't give up on him, he gave up on me. A long time ago. Or did he just tell you I left him out of nowhere?" I ask harsher than I intended.

"I'm no stranger to a man that works too much and doesn't always put his wife first. Mark's father was like that. I put up with it... on top of the abuse. I guess that makes you stronger than me, huh?" After all of this time, I can still hear the pain in Mama Tuan's voice when she discusses Mark's father but she's also developed a defense mechanism for it. Dark humor.

"No," I whisper. I'm the furthest thing from strong. Some would probably say that I'm weak. I was weak to the urges and gave in to the temptation of sleeping with a man that wasn't my husband. "I'm not stronger than you in the slightest. You're the strongest person I know, Mama Tuan." And it's the truth. Knowing what she had been through... what she sacrificed.

"I couldn't protect Mark then, and I can't protect him now." Protect him from me, I assume? Mark's father physically abused both Mark and Mama Tuan for years before finally one day when Mark was fifteen, he fought back. And won. After that Mama Tuan thought everything would be okay, it would be better. Mark begged her to leave, but she never did. Granted, Mark's father never hit either one of them again but the decade worth of damage had already been done. Mark hated his father and would never be the same. A year after that, Mark's father died from liver disease after he'd spent years soaking it in whiskey. She hiccups and only now do I realize how much she's put away. "There's no hope for you two?" She whispers and I feel the tear slide down my cheek as I realize this break up will be harder on me than the one to my actual husband.

"No, Mama Tuan. There isn't. We both need to move on. We're different people."

"You won't come see me anymore, will you?" She sniffles and I feel my heart break hearing her words.

"Of course I will." I say, the words flying out of my mouth before I even have a chance to think about how my new husband will feel about the relationship I intend to keep with my ex husband's mother.

"Do you have plans today? I know it's a special day for you. Happy birthday by the way," she says and I know it's taking everything out of her to try and be happy for me. I don't have a chance to answer when she says, "I have something for you, would you like to have dinner tonight?" She asks and I feel all of the air leave my lungs.

"Mama Tuan..." I trail off. "I have plans tonight, but we can get together soon, okay?"

"Tomorrow?" she says sadly and I can hear the hope in her voice.

"Okay," I say, again without thinking but I smile when I hear her gasp.

"Really? Oh Y/N, that would be lovely. I can't wait to see you sweetheart, it's been so long."

"I know, a few weeks?" I say, knowing that it isn't that long in the grand scheme of things but it is for me and Mark's mother, who usually had a weekly standing lunch date.

"Too long, I'll see you tomorrow Y/N."

"Tomorrow then," I whisper back, wondering what in the hell Jimin's reaction is going to be.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I pull into the garage and hear it shutting down behind me and I lean forward to see Jimin standing in the garage entrance sporting a sexy smile. I pull my overnight bag out of the passenger seat and almost sprint to the man I haven't seen in person in seven long days. "Jimin," I say before I drop my bag to the floor and fling myself into his arms. It isn't long before my legs are wrapped around his waist and his lips have found mine. Kissing me, possessing me, his tongue rediscovering every inch of my mouth with wild abandon. I don't know how long we're kissing against the wall of the cold garage but after some time, I'm back on my feet. He pulls away and I smile when I see my lip stain has smeared all over his mouth. I bite down on my bottom lip and look down thinking about the same color all over his cock and I hear a growl coming out of his throat.

"Don't look at my dick, Y/N."

"Why? It's mine, isn't it?" I say taking a step forward and pressing an index finger into his chest. "It's mine to do with what I want," I say knowing that the words are coming out breathy.

"Fuck," he says barely audibly and I drop to my knees in front of him, my knees hitting the cold cement but not caring as soon as I have his dick out of his slacks and in my hand. I rub his dick along my lips, smearing my lipstick along his shaft. Marking him, branding him. I want his dick to be stained with my lip stain for as long as possible, reminding him where I've been and who's dick this belongs to. He groans clearly, sensing the possessive feeling that has come over me. "Y/N," he says hoarsely. "Put me in your mouth, baby."

"Say please," I say looking up at him sweetly as I run my tongue from root to tip, but still not wrapping my lips around him fully. He jolts forward attempting to get his member inside of my warm mouth but I move back. "Beg for it," I growl at him.

"I think you're forgetting how this works, Y/N," he growls as he grabs my hair and yanks my head back so that I'm staring up at him. I know he would never hurt me, and I trust him to know what's going too far and right now I'm loving that I've brought out his ever present dominant side. With the hand that isn't holding my head in place, he places it on his dick and guides it to my lips. He runs his dick along my bottom lip and my top lip. "Stick your tongue out," he growls and I oblige. He rubs his dick against it as his velvety member penetrates my mouth. "Wrap your lips around me, and it's not a question. Do it now."

I look up at him, my eyes dancing with mischief as I let him fall out of my mouth. I stand up and his eyes widen as if he's shocked that I dared to disobey his command. "You don't get to come before I do. I'm the birthday girl after all," I say before I march through the doors leaving him dumbfounded with his pants around his ankles. I get a few steps before I gasp as I take in the view of the living room. There are roses. Everywhere. This on top of the roses at my house... I wonder if he alone made this particular florist's month in sales.

I feel his presence behind me and a kiss at my neck. "There's a rose for every time I think about you everyday," he whispers against it before he spins me around and kisses me with everything he has. I feel weak in the knees hearing his words and when I pull apart I know that my cheeks are wet with tears.

"Jimin," I shake my head. "This is..."

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," he says, brushing his lips against mine.

"Thank you," I whisper, wrapping his arms around me. "I am... overwhelmed."

He pulls me through the living room and the field of flowers and into the den that is just off of the kitchen, where I see a blanket laid out in front of the fireplace with a bucket of champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, some other foods and a small box. "Come," he says as I have stopped walking as soon as I surveyed the scene in front of me. I move to sit between his legs on the blanket as he hands me a glass of champagne that's already been poured. I lean back against his chest and clink my glass with his. "Cheers to you, baby," he whispers in my ear before I turn my head slightly to capture his lips knowing that I need the taste of him far more than the bubbly beverage in my hand.

"This is... amazing," I murmur as I see a variety of other foods on the blanket as well. I lean my head back just as he plucks a strawberry and moves it towards my mouth. I turn completely in his arms to face him and wrap my lips around the fruit, not once breaking eye contact with him and moan in appreciation. The fruit is still in my mouth when I feel his mouth on mine as if he's desperate to taste what I'm tasting.

"It tastes even better when it's been in your mouth first," and I bite my bottom lip as I feel a slight wave of naivete at this man's overwhelming kinky streak. We play with our food for another twenty minutes or so, sharing kisses in between when he stops. "I have something for you"

"Jimin..." I trail off. "You know you didn't have to," I whisper. "All I want is you." And it was true. I had years of getting tangible items as gifts that collected dust in a room somewhere, and while I treasure the jewelry Jimin has given me so far I don't want him to feel that he needs to get into the habit of that.

He cocks his head to the side as if he doesn't understand that he's my greatest gift and holds a small box out for me. It's bigger than any jewelry box I've ever seen so I wonder what it could be. "Did you wrap this?" I ask as I finger the paper that looks as if someone with no wrapping experience did it.

"Usually Lisa wraps my gifts but... I wanted to do this. It's a special item, I didn't want it to get ruined before you got it. I'm sorry, it looks like this."

I think he's misread my reasoning for the question and my heart sinks. He took the time to wrap a gift for me... himself. The thought doesn't just count. The thought is everything. "Jimin," I say, rubbing his jaw. "I am... moved, beyond words. It's... beautiful," I say holding up the gift.

He smiles a boyish smile and I swear I see his cheeks turn a little pink. I start to open it and when I peel the paper off I see it's a plain brown box. I look at him curiously and when I open it I almost drop the item out of my hands. The tears are flying down my eyes in an instant when I pull the familiar snow globe out of the box, my hands shaking more violently with each passing moment. "You... you...how?" I ask quietly, as I see the familiar people that I believed were still tucked in my purse.

"I took them from you about a week ago. I actually thought you'd notice."

I shake my head, trying to will the words to come out of my mouth but it's no use. I spin the dial twice and I hear the same music that used to play, as the two spin around the globe. I cradle it to my chest as I move into his lap, wrapping my arms and legs around him and squeezing him tight. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," I say through my tears. "You have no idea what this means to me." And I don't think he does. I sit the globe down so as not to break it again and my hands find my eyes as I begin to sob. I don't think I've ever had this kind of reaction to a gift. I feel Jimin's hands stroking my back and his lips dancing across my bare shoulder peppering gentle kisses as my sobs turn to hiccups then sniffles. I don't know how long I've been crying when I feel his hand lifting my chin up to meet his. "Don't look at me, I'm a mess." I half cry, half giggle, as I wipe the tears from my eyes.

"You're beautiful," he says. "I told you I would fix it," he whispers.

And I wonder if he even hears the irony in his statement. I told you I would fix it. The snow globe, me... everything. Maybe he's not such a bad counselor after all. I smile at my attempt to be funny when he smiles back not understanding my inside joke. "What?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Nothing. "Just... you've fixed a lot more than just my snow globe," I whisper.

He nods his head and I wipe my eyes for the final time, hoping that I've cried enough for the day. "Now I feel bad telling you that you couldn't come first." I giggle trying to break the fog of this unbelievably heavy moment.

"Yeah what was that all about, huh?" He chuckles in my ear before placing a kiss on it.

"Can I make it up to you?" I say, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

"What did you... have in mind?" he asks as he rubs his nose against my bottom lip gently. I don't even want to know what my face looks like. Mascara running from my tears, lip stain smeared from the aggressive kissing. But he's looking at me as if he's never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

"I want... I need you... everywhere," I breathe out, knowing that Jimin's possession of me is something that grounds me faster and more fully than anything. I want him to understand how much I'm totally and completely his. Every part of me.

His eyes widen, his eyebrows shooting to his hairline. "Baby, I didn't bring anything to get you ready for that."

"I don't care" I whisper, all of the nerves having rushed to the surface of my skin. I'm very aware of every hair on my body standing up straight. "I'm wet enough to make it work," I say and he groans his appreciation as his hands fist my flowy dress, bunching it up around my waist.

"Let me see, baby. I haven't seen or touched your pussy in so long." He says as his lips find my breast, sucking the skin into his mouth as his fingers find their way into my panties. He strokes my folds, that are already saturated from the mere thought of him touching me. "Lay back," he says and I lay on the blanket, after Jimin moves the food out of the way. I'm barely on my back when I feel cool air hitting my wet folds as he yanks my underwear from me. "You waxed recently."

My teeth find my bottom lip as I'm so turned out by the fact that Jimin knows my pussy so well. I nod. "Two days ago," I whisper as I feel him stroking my mound. He nods before he helps me sit up and pulls my dress over my head. I'm left before him in only a strapless bra, which he moves within seconds. He flips me effortlessly and pulls me to my hands and knees, spreading me, exposing me to him completely. I don't feel him for a moment and I wonder what he's doing but I don't dare turn around, knowing that he's about to surprise me. I yelp when I feel his hot tongue and an ice cube against my clit. "Oh my God," I moan, as I feel him rubbing my clit with the ice on his tongue, driving me insane in the process. "Jimin" I groan. I hear him slurping against me, as the ice melts and I feel it dripping down my pussy and my thighs. When I feel that the ice has melted completely, I feel his tongue between my cheeks as he has spread them completely and begins to rim me.

"You are mine, Y/N. Every inch of you," he growls as I hear the sound of his belt buckle. Within a second I feel his cock at my entrance and pushing into my scorching pussy. "I need you to come all over my cock, baby. Your cum is the only thing that will let me slide right in," he says and the thought warms me that he's going to fuck every single hole of mine tonight. I begin to rub my clit to get me there faster as he begins to push in and out of me. "Y/N" he groans and I know he's close from when I got him worked up in the garage.

"I'm close," I moan, feeling my clit swell under my fingers.

"Get there faster, god dammit," he grits out and I move faster knowing he's waiting for me. That I'm fucking a man that actually cares if I get off. That I'm making love to a man that loves the feeling of my cum running down his cock as much as he loves to watch it drip out of me. "I see your toes curling" he groans and he's right, they are curled so tight, they might be permanently that way. Not that I'd care.

"FUCK" I groan as my orgasm flies through me, my hands bunching the blanket below us as I feel him pick up the pace and then still inside of me as I feel his cock pumping inside of me. Each pump rubbing against my inner walls, as he fits so snug inside of me I feel every ridge of his cock when he's coming. He wastes no time letting me come down when I feel him remove himself from me. I'm still on my knees, my body bent over, so I look between my legs and see his cock glistening with our arousals, his cum still dripping from the tip of his dick. I feel him rub it against my puckered opening before he pushes in slightly. I clench at first, still not used to the intrusion.

"Relax, Y/N. Remember? Deep breaths, baby."

I nod remembering how good it felt once he was inside but how excruciating the first few thrusts can be. I feel his hand find mine and then my hand is back between my legs, his hand over mine, guiding me on how to rub my clit, as if he's been doing it longer than I have. "Jimin," I moan. I want to tell him how good it feels but I don't think the double stimulation will allow it.

I'm so focused on rubbing my clit I forget that he's inching his way into my asshole, bit by bit. He's been pushing in gently when I feel his hips resting against my ass cheeks and his lips on my shoulder. "I'm in, baby," he whispers. "Can I move?"

"Yes, God yes."

I feel him start to move in and out slowly, and soon I'm meeting him thrust for thrust as he moves faster. "Fuck, Y/N. Tell me the only person who's been here. Tell me, baby."

"Only you, Jimin," I whine when I feel his hands gripping one cheek hard. "Only ever, you."

"Fuck, say it again, Y/N. Say it."

"Only you," I whimper knowing he needs to hear it. "I'm yours. I've only been yours."

"Y/N," he grunts out as I feel him release his seed deep inside of me. A few moments later I feel his lips dragging on my back. "Fuck," he whispers. "You are the most incredible woman I've ever met," he says as he tries to catch his breath. "Seventy-nine fucking days," he whispers. "Just seventy-nine"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I have to say that I'm impressed with how much Jimin had set up for tonight. After our dirty romp in front of the fire, we went straight to the tub, where Jimin had all of my shampoos, soaps and bath gels that I love. He washed me from head to toe, not forgetting any inch of my body. He made me come twice with his fingers and his lips as he got me clean and now we were in a bed that he had ordered for our guest room, reminiscent of the first time we were in a bed. He knew that I'd want a say in our future marital bed so he didn't want to order one without me. He also told me that he didn't want to make love in our bed until I was officially his and had no ties to anyone else. Not wanting to start out making love in our bed while I still technically belonged to someone else. We both knew how backwards it sounded but we both understood. So now we are lying in our guest room, in a bed, the only piece of furniture in the room, having just made love again. My head is resting on his chest and I decide to bring up what I've been putting off.

"Babe?"

"Yes, my love," he says, rubbing his lips over my fingertips and my heart flutters at the simple gesture.

"So, you may not know this... but... I'm relatively close with my mother-in-law."

"Is that so?" he says. "I think you've mentioned that you cared very deeply for her."

I nod against his chest. "Yes, we've spent a lot of time together over the past eight years."

"I see. And how does she feel about you and her son getting a divorce?"

"She's not... taking it well. I hadn't talked to her. I should have called her. But... I guess I just figured she hated me. I should have known that was not the case at all. Mama Tuan doesn't have a hateful bone in her body."

"But she's Mark's mother."

"What do you mean?"

"It means by every rule that ever existed in life, she's going to take his side."

"She asked if we could work it out." I feel him tense beneath me and I rub his chest. "I told her no, Jimin." I feel him relax and I look up at him. "You couldn't have thought differently."

He shakes his head before he presses a kiss to my forehead. "No. But what is the point of telling me this?"

"Well, she asked if I would have lunch with her tomorrow."

"And you said?"

"I told her yes."

It's so silent I swear I could hear a pin drop and Jimin moves out from underneath me to move on top of me and look at me. "My counselor hat is coming on."

"Why?" I groan.

"Because you pissed me off, and I don't want to be mad at you on your birthday."

"Why are you pissed off?"

"Don't push me, Y/N."

"I'm not, but it's not like I'm having lunch with Mark. It's his mother! Who is the sweetest woman I've ever met."

"Mother of your soon-to-be ex-husband," he says simply.

"So?"

"So? What reason could she possibly have to want to go to lunch with the woman that allegedly broke her son's heart?"

"Mama Tuan understands."

"Y/N, I don't think it's a good idea."

"Well... I wasn't asking your permission. She's been like a second mother to me, and I completely understand that she won't be a part of my life going forward, so I certainly owe her a proper goodbye."

He eyes me warily before shaking his head. "I don't like this, Y/N."

I reach up and rub my nose against his. "Do you want my ass again?" I ask, playing into his caveman urges.

"No, Y/N. I don't," he growls as he pulls out of my arms and gets out of bed.

"Where are you going?" I say, feeling a chill in the room that wasn't there five minutes ago.

He stands in the doorway. "I can't think when you're rubbing up against me like that."

I smile and I move to get off the bed towards him and he puts a hand up. "Stay on the bed."

I bow my head submissively. "Yes sir," before shooting him a wink.

"Don't try and fuck your way out of this, Y/N."

"What do you think is going to happen? She'll convince me to take him back? To get back together? Do you think I'm that easily swayed? Jimin, I'm fairly certain you're the only person that could convince me to take him back," I say honestly. And it's an irony not lost on me. I love and trust Jimin so much that I know he has my best interest at heart. And if he told me Mark was what was best for me, I would believe it. Though I know he never would.

I'm on my back, and I feel his dick sliding inside of me, feeling harder than it looked twenty seconds ago. "Those words turned me on far more than they should."

"I trust that you know what's best for me, Jimin. I've trusted you since the second we started this," I whisper. "But there is nothing to worry about with Mama Tuan," I whisper as I feel him gently moving in and out of me. "I love you. You only."

"Me only," he whispers and I nod.

"Kiss me."

We kiss, our limbs intertwined well past midnight, and around three in the morning, I feel the last of my energy pulled from me as I fall asleep safely in the comfort of Park Jimin's arms.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm walking through the familiar restaurant when I see Mark's mom in a corner booth tucked away. I smile as I approach her and she pulls me into a tight hug. "Hi sweetheart."

"Hi, sorry I'm a little late, have you been here long?" Jimin wouldn't let me out of the house this morning for anything. We kissed, cuddled, made love, fucked and that was all before we had even gotten out of bed for the first time. Then we showered... cue more rounds of sex. I know he was still feeling reluctant about me having lunch with Mark's mother but I think I've calmed him down enough to at least understand why I feel I need to do this.

"Not at all, about five minutes." We sit down and she gives me a sad look.

"Mama Tuan, can we not talk about Mark?"

"Sweetheart, he misses you."

"Oh does he," I snort. "He misses his doormat? Someone to come home to that he can take for granted and ignore? Mama Tuan, seriously this isn't something I want to talk about with you. I'm going through a divorce with your son, but he is your son. I don't want to paint him in a bad light in your eyes."

"Did he ever put his hands on you, Y/N? You can tell me."

"No," I say, reaching across the table and squeezing her hands as I know where her mind is going and I know she feared for a while that he could grow up to be his father as the cycle of violence is a very real thing. "Your son has never laid a hand on me."

She breathes a sigh of relief. "Another woman?"

"No," I shake my head. "Not to my knowledge."

"Then can't you work it out?"

"There's so much more needed to make a marriage work than no abuse or cheating," I say and I can understand how a victim of abuse can believe that relationships without that element are cakewalks. "A neglectful husband is just as damaging."

"I just feel like you could work it out."

"But you don't understand. You're not in the relationship. You don't see it. Mama Tuan, there are- he doesn't want kids. Or at very least he doesn't seem open to it-"

"I can talk to him. He will have kids eventually."

"I don't want my mother-in-law to have to talk sense into my husband every time there's a problem."

"I thought you were seeing a marriage counselor?"

"He wasn't... working," I say, having learned how to condition my libido and hormones not to react every time someone mentions Jimin.

"That's what Mark said too. What a waste. Mark said he's expensive too." I chuckle at her words. He did cost me quite a bit. My loyalty, my integrity, my honesty. Can I still possess those qualities once this is all over? Or will I be constantly labeled a liar? A disloyal cheater?

"Yes he was quite pricey. But Mark found him. Apparently he is the best." He certainly is the best, on so many levels.

"So you just fell out of love with him?"

"He's not in love with me either."

"How do you know that?"

"It's obvious."

"That's not true," I hear from behind me and I feel my heart sink as I see my ex-husband come into view. The tears flood my eyes as I look at Mama Tuan.

"Why- how could you do this?"

"Honey, I just thought if we could sit down and talk it would-"

"TALK?" I shout, and I realize it's the first time I've raised my voice in front of Mark's mother.

"We've been talking, Mama Tuan, for months! Literally months! We talked three times a week in therapy. And now we are talking twice a week in negotiations. I am all talked out. Literally everything that Mark and I want to say to each other we've been saying in publicly sanctioned environments for the past eight months. I don't want to do this now. You said it would just be us."

"I wanted to see you," Mark interrupts and I shake my head.

"The feeling isn't mutual."

"Y/N," Mama Tuan says, obviously a bit hurt and confused by my coldness.

"Mama Tuan, this is exactly why I didn't want you to be involved. I can already see you looking at me differently," I sniffle.

"No, Y/N... I just want to help," she says, reaching out for my arm as I slide out of the booth.

"There's nothing you can do to help. This marriage is beyond repair."

"There's no such thing! If you both want to work on it, you can fix it. Y/N please... sit down." I shake my head.

"Mama Tuan, I'm so sorry. But I can't... I can't stay with your son to keep you in my life," I say.

"See what I deal with," Mark says pointing at me. "She twists the knife in deeper every time she speaks."

"You knew I wouldn't want to see you, why would you ambush me here?"

"I asked him to come," Mama Tuan interjects, because heaven forbid her baby boy should have to take the blame for anything.

"I get that, but he should have known that this wasn't a good idea. Our lawyers don't even want us speaking right now without them present."

"Well I am a mother, I am better than any lawyer."

"Yes, leaps and bounds better," I smile at her. "I have to go."

"Y/N, I'm sorry." Mark says. "I'm sorry for... everything," he says looking at me.

I nod. "What are you apologizing for?" I ask knowing that he didn't tell his mom my most recent revelation.

"You know... everything."

"Specifically?" I shrug. He looks at me, his eyes blazing. "You wanted to come... to talk... you had to know that this would come up."

"Can we talk alone?"

"No, I was having lunch with your mother alone and you bombarded us. Bombarded me. So the right to be alone isn't granted to you today. Why don't you talk to your mom, it seems that you two probably have more to catch up on."

"Mark?" she says looking at him. "What does she mean?"

"Bye, Mama Tuan," I say, leaning over and pecking her cheek.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I'm walking down the street towards my car having left Mark to tell his mother the truth about his secrets when I see the familiar SUV inching towards me. It follows me all the way home and before long, I'm back at Hwasa's apartment. I open the door and my heart almost stops when I see Jimin sitting on the couch in the sea of roses he had delivered the day prior.

"Jimin," I say, putting a hand over my chest. "How- what are you doing here?"

"Hwasa let me in," he says, crossing a leg over another. "You are back early... I figured you'd be at lunch well into the afternoon," he says and I can detect an edge to his voice but I can't tell why.

"It got complicated," I say.

"Oh? Because your ex fucking husband showed up?" He growls standing up.

"How did you-?" I stop knowing that Jungkook somehow must have figured it out.

"I knew it. I fucking knew it. You were so sure that his mother was harmless and yet she set up a fucking mediation to try and get you guys to work on things."

"Why does it matter?" I yell. "I don't want that! I got up and left! I'm here aren't I?"

"I didn't want you going in the first place, why can't you just listen to me?" he yells back.

"I do listen to you Jimin. More than I listen to most people! But I'm not going to let you dictate who I have lunch with. Granted it's not some other man, you have to fucking relax."

"Would you have even told me if I didn't have Jungkook in place for you?"

"Told you what? That Mark showed up? Yes of course."

"Are you sure about that? It's not like I would have known otherwise. And we both know you're a great liar," he says and I see the moment when he regrets his words because he takes a step towards me. I take a step back letting the tears flood my eyes.

"Get out."

"Baby... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

"Yeah you're right, you shouldn't have."

"I was just so angry about-"

"About what? My husband who I borderline hate showing up to lunch I was having with his mother? Give me a fucking break, Jimin. I left my husband! You win! I'm yours! What more do you want!? Do you want me to tattoo Property of Park Jimin across my forehead? Will that make you happy? I'm all for the hot and sexy possessiveness when we are in bed but- this isn't going to work if you don't trust me. Just because I cheated on Mark doesn't mean I'll cheat on you," I say sadly. "Just because I've lied to him doesn't mean I would ever lie to you... and I guess it's hard for you to believe that. But... then... why do you want to be with me so bad?"

"Y/N- I never meant to imply that I thought you would lie or cheat or... I was just pissed that you were with him... in public... where I can never be with you. I'm sorry I said that."

"You knew this was the deal, at least for now," I say and I'm mad at myself that I've let him stay after he said what he said. Maybe I really am weak. "Jimin, I need you to leave," I say.

"Wha-what?" he says, looking at me with wide eyes.

"What you said... somewhere deep inside of you, you meant it. You're a counselor, you don't just say things you don't mean. And if you're feeling this way, you need to deal with it before we go any further. Because if you're never going to trust me because of how we started out, this relationship is already doomed."

"It's different when it comes to you, you know that. I'm a counselor in my professional life, but you're my private life... and though sometimes I'll counsel you, most of the time, I'm acting in the heat of the moment... which means I'll say things I don't mean from time to time because I'm lashing out. I don't think that, Y/N. We aren't doomed. We are perfect. We are...everything," he says and I know that he's panicked right now thinking that I could potentially leave him. Another reason he doesn't trust me. He thinks I can get up and leave him so easily. Doesn't he see that I love him and need him just as much as he does me?

He boxes me against the wall and I try to push him away but he won't let me. "I'm sorry, please don't hate me."

"I don't hate you," I say simply. "But I still need you to leave. I'll call you later." I don't know what it is I need at this moment but I do know I can't figure it out with Jimin staring at me with those puppy dog eyes pleading with me to forgive him for his shitty comment. As if I've given him any reason to believe that I would lie to him. Maybe I haven't navigated this as perfectly as I could, but I'm out of my depth. And I've never given Jimin a reason not to trust me. And for him to insinuate that I would keep something from him based on my history as a liar isn't fair. Maybe nothing about my life is allowed to be fair. Maybe it's karma.

"Tell me you still love me," he says.

I cock my head to the side and give him a sad smile. "I love you, more than anything... one hurtful comment won't change that," I say and he gives me a smile. I raise an eyebrow letting him know that I'm still upset about said hurtful comment and he nods.

"I don't know when I'll be able to see you again," he starts. "I love you, Y/N. You know I do."

"When I'm ready to talk, you'll figure out a way."

He pulls away and nods knowing he shouldn't argue with me. "Let me know when," he says, kissing my nose and then he's gone leaving me alone, the events of the day running through my mind on a loop.

________________________________________________________________________________

Author's Note: uh oh Dr. Park...what have you done?

Hello Beautifuls (you see what I did there?)! I can't believe that I am already posting chapter 10 of this story! I'm so glad that so many of you have joined me on this journey and I can't wait to continue sharing these memories with you! See you next week with Chapter 11!

-Serendipity