September 26, 2018~

I opened my backpack and out popped a teddy bear's head.

"It's me." Damian laughed.

"That's what I saw when I bought him." I pulled out the bear from my backpack and handed it to him. "Happy Birthday."

Damian was turning 27 today.

Dang he sure was way older than me. Almost seven years. But it didn't matter. I loved him like no other. Even if he lied to me in the beginning and told me he was 23.

He was my bear.

He smiled and squinted his face making me swoon crazy for him and trying not to die. And then he showed his dimples and then that's when I died.

Ah my weakness.

He put the bear on the corner of his bed and kissed me. And every time he kissed me, I knew I was safe and home with him.

I forget the world around me. I forget the people in my way. I forget my problems.

I forget everything when I am with him. Because all I can think of is how damn lucky I was to find a man like him.

"I love you... so much. Thank you. For everything." He smiled at me as we just simply laid on his bed and listened to his music.

"I wish I could do more." I whispered.

"What do you mean Princess?"

"I wish I can give you everything. But there is so little I can do."

"Oh love no you have done lots for me." He chuckled.

"Well yeah but I wish I could have given you the gift that you always wanted for your birthday." I stared at the ceiling.

A few days ago he mentioned he always wanted these amplifier speakers but they as heck cost a lot of money. And all I got him instead was a four dollar teddy bear at the nearest dollar store which Rose helped me reach at the top shelf.

"Hey want to know something?" He said.

I nodded and he kissed my forehead.

"Your presence is even better than those speakers. You being here with me is the best gift of all."

Everyday I fall harder and harder in love with him.

He was simple, kind, generous, and overall grateful.

We both faced the teddy bear who was just staring at us and we just laughed.

Today was just perfect.

*****

October 6, 2018~

Merlyn: I need your help

Me: ??? What is it?

Merlyn: I need a favor. It's embarrassing.

Me: sure I can help.

Merlyn: where can I get those... pills?.... (ToT)

In school Merlyn would always defend me from the bullies and speak up for me whenever we had a class presentation. Since eighth grade she was always there for me. I was too extremely shy to stand up for myself when the seventh graders picked on me and I the always mute in class when it came for me to talk. I really never did anything for her in school besides helping her cheat during a test exam when she didn't study.

Until today I was finally going to help her out in something.

Something in which I never expected her to do...

I texted her if we could meet early today instead. It has been a year since I last saw her in person. She replied back saying yes and to meet her at the taco stand which her family owned. When I got there she came in her car five minutes later and got in my car.

"Oh my gosh it has been too long!" She clapped.

"Really long." I laughed.

"Let's have breakfast."

I drove to an IHop restaurant and just when we got out rain started to pour down on us. We ran towards the restaurant only for her to trip and fall. Man I'm a horrible friend I just gasped and stood there and just laughed nervously. She laughed so hard at my reaction though and got quickly up so we could go inside. Inside lots of people were lined up waiting for seats to clear up. Merlyn went to sign our names and we waited in a bench as we let time take over.

"My mom thinks I'm a good girl..." Merlyn spoke as we just watched people come and go. "Just a day ago she said she was proud of me. She said girls my age are reckless and rebellious except for me. She said I am an example to other girls. Told me that I needed to help you become a better person."

"Me?" I tilted my head.

Merlyn smiled weakly and laughed quietly.

"Yeah she is still in shock when you helped your guy move in and found out you were supposedly pregnant."

"It was a false alarm though." I laughed nervously.

"I know but my mom always wonders what would have happened if it came true. How you would have been pregnant at nineteen and would have needed to be with your guy and become a woman for the house. How your parents would have dealt with this overall."

I stared at my wet boots and at the ripped holes on my jeans.

That was what I was worried about. How my parents would have reacted if that would have became true instead of an false alarm. Luckily that didn't happen.

"My mom actually didn't want me to hang out with you today to be honest." Merlyn laughed nervously. "Said you could be a bad influence for me. Truth is though....I want to be like you."  

"Oh heck no." I almost blurted. "I'm the last person you should be like. I'm a very bad example for you."

"That's the thing though...I see your bad example and all I see is good."

My eyes were round and just then I heard a waiter lady call my name. We got up from our seats and followed the waiter lady to our table. She handed our menus and she politely mannered told us she was going to come back when we were ready. Once she was gone Merlyn grinned and looked at me.

"You are brave, strong, and courageous. I want to be like that. Like you."

"Me brave?" I laughed and looked at my menu.

I'm picking pancakes and hash browns.

"I let bullies taunt me and I freaking did their homeworks for a living and you say I'm brave?"

"But look at you now though." She picked her menu up. "You managed to get rid of Ana when nobody wanted to help nor listen to you. Heck I didn't help you. Speaking of Ana...anything from her?"

"Besides putting selfies everyday in Facebook? Nope I don't know anything much from her." I rolled my eyes.

"Last I heard she was in Sherman."

"Yeah I knew that." I put my menu down.

She left to another town and left with a butcher and was reproducing like a rabbit was the last thing I heard which was a year ago.

"She puts pictures on Snapchat of her and a different guy every week. I replied to one of the photos saying dannnnggg another one and she put an angry emoji. I just laughed because I was only kidding but I think she is now angry at me because now she never replies back to me."

"Dang." I laugh. "So no butcher guy?"

"Nah she left him."

"What about her kids? I heard it was many."

"Those were lies. She only had one and that was in highschool. She aborted that one though." Merlyn's face went straight.

"Oh my..."

The waiter lady finally came back and took our orders and brought us our drinks before she left again.

"Apple juice?" Merlyn laughed at my drink. "What are you seven?"

"There is nothing wrong with apple juice. Besides it looks like beer so I'm fine." I waved my hand and laughed.

"Anyways back to what we were talking about before Ana," She giggled. "Since I wanted to be like you I've been doing things behind my parent's back. All to which makes me a hypocrite now. I hate lying to my parents and hate even more that they think I'm a good role model but the truth is I've been seeing a guy..."

"Wait what?!?!" I was taking a sip from my apple juice when I gasped almost making my juice fly out. "Who, what, where, when, why?"

"His name is Rossell. I've been his girlfriend for a month. Met him at the taco stand. And it just happened. But now we broke up and....and I did it with him..."

My eyes were big.

I can feel them.

And I know she can see them.

"I need your help Dani." She closed her eyes wanting to cry but she laughed it off instead.

Our waiter came back with our food and left.

"Geezus why??!" I stuffed my face with my pancake. Man I was starving.

"Everybody has a relationship and I'm the only one who has not since graduation."

"So??? There is nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean you give it right away to the first guy."

"Oh Dani I missed you." Merlyn laughed and was cutting a slice from her eggs. "I never thought the shy girl back in eighth grade would have become such a rebellious person. You gave in to your guy a week later after you became a couple."

"Well...uh...yeah...but...you see...Okay never mind I don't know how to defend myself there. But it was wrong. It was really wrong and just because a person did it doesn't mean you have to too. I took a big risk I know. But I'm glad my risk came out a positive result. I'm just lucky Damian turned out to be an amazing guy."

"I envy you. The good one of course."

"Uh there's a good one?" I laughed.

"Yes. She laughed and covered her mouth so her food wouldn't show. "I envy you so much."

"So now what? What are you going to do now?" I asked.

"I don't know. I knew this wasn't going to last at all but I didn't think I was going to do a mistake...guess I thought wrong. I'm not sure yet but I need morning pills."

"How long has it been?"

"I'm way past seventy-two hours."

"That's too late then..."

"I know." She sighed.

There was nothing I could do now. Even if I could get her those pills what good can they do now? Besides the last time I went to the pharmacy people at Walmart looked at me funny.

Just then someone sent me a text.

Damian: Princess I'm starving.

I couldn't help but to mentally laugh. Well this was unexpected.

Merlyn and I finished eating and paid our bill before heading out. Outside the rain poured down like cats and dogs. I was too afraid to drive so Merlyn took over the steering wheel. I told her to make a quick stop at a meat market so I could buy Damian some food and then we headed to her taco stand. We were just getting there when a car speed up next to us making Merlyn yell, "That's him!"

I confused look to the side but the car was already ahead of us.

"Who?!"

"Rossell." She gripped on the steering wheel and stepped on the gas.

"Slow down woman! It's freaking storming!"

"Ugh yes honey." She rolled her eyes and slowed down.

"Geez I thought it was over."

"It is...it's just I still need closure." She sighed.

We finally arrived at the taco stand only to see Rossell getting out of the car and entering inside.

"Come inside so you can catch a glimpse of him." She insisted.

"Okay fine." We got out of the car and entered through the back into the kitchen. I felt like VIP back there. Merlyn went to the cash register while I stood back watching the other ladies cook and her little sister making YouTube videos of some sort. I tried to be sneaky about it to see the guy but I guess I was that obvious since his eyes locked in with mine for 2.3 seconds. I started to rock back and forth with the heels of my boots and looked away. Merlyn then came back with tears in her eyes.

Words were no good at that moment.

It was like my Diary.

Never helped but just listened.

What can I say guys can be real jerks sometimes.

Joe was an idiot.

Emilio a traitor.

And Juan an asshole.

I met plenty of them back in my days.

So instead I hugged her. Then it became a huge hug fest in the kitchen because everyone then started to hug her. Once she was settled and the storm eased down a bit I hit the road. With a wave from Merlyn I headed out in the rain and headed out to Damian's place. Out here it was flooded and full of mud. When I arrived I called him but he didn't answer.

"Weird..."

I got out of the car only to land in a big splash. I trudged my way to the porch and knocked.

Nobody answered.

As I waited I cleaned my boots and saw that his brother wasn't home nor their truck. So I decided best to just let myself in. I turned the knob and sure enough it was opened. I allowed myself in like it was my own home and closed the door behind me.

Hope the neighbors don't think I'm a robber breaking in or something though...

Inside then lights were off but I could hear music coming from his room. Also I heard water running from inside.

Ah he must be showering.

I went to the kitchen and placed his food there and just casually leaned against the counter where I then started to play SchoolGirls Simulator on my phone.

"Kill them hoes..."

I was so focused on my game that I forgot I wasn't alone. The door to his room suddenly opened making me jump from my place. I swoosh my head to the door and our eyes met.

"Princess!" He almost fell back. "You scared me!"

"You scared me!"

Oh wait I'm the intruder.

His hair was all wet and geezus he smelled so fresh and clean. We both forgot that we were scared and ran into each other arms.

I'm home. And I feel more than safe.