The month of September has been chaos for me as well as magical.

Just when things couldn't get crazier...things got...

INSANE.

How is it even possible to carry so much hate towards a person in your heart?

Serina Brogdon whatever her last name was, has brought so many problems into my life. Just when I thought Ana was bad...this one was worse.

I can't end her. Whatever I do she always found a way to make ME look like the villain.

And just when I thought everything was going to be okay...

She turned everything into darkness.

"I can't let this Hoe keep hurting you madre." Rose spoke through the other end of the phone.

"I know mija but what can be done about it...I've tried everything." I stared at the empty ceiling and sighed.

Lately I haven't been feeling so good.

Physically and mentally I was being tortured alive and no one could hear my pain, my screams, my cries...

My mind went blank for a few seconds until it came back to reality.

"I've been trying to bring the ship back but it keeps being attacked by that giant squid. A freaking mother fucking Kraken."

I quietly laughed at the comparison and turned over to my side on my bed. Last year when I was in highschool, Rose and I created her ship name with my brother. Not the best ship name out there but it has stuck out through the years.

"Stove..." She said.

So Stove it was and since then that ship couldn't sail. My brother only saw Rose as a friend and quote&quote says "like a sister".

If she happens to be "like a sister", then tell me how is it "like a sister" to almost kiss your "like a sister"?

A few weeks back Rose came over to my place and because the savage I was, I left Rose all by herself with my brother Steve.

In his room.

Steve always showed signs that were different to Rose. Different as in interested in a way. But whenever the Hoe pulls out her bat signal, Steve go at her signal.

Every damn time.

"What if...what if we reported her?" Rose suddenly came up with an idea.

"Report her to who?" I asked.

"To her step dad."

"And how is that going to work?" I let out a dry laugh.

"Her dad is super "strict"."

"More like "high class" snobs." I snickered.

Her family looked down at my family. Her parents are teachers while mine are janitors. She has a house while we rented one. Has name brand clothing and shizz while our clothing were the cheapest out there.

While they may looked down on my family, I hold my head high and very proudly carry out my family name. It doesn't matter if my parents are janitors, or if my clothing are all pass down by my sisters, heck I was proud of it all. I have a roof over my head and a loving family. Unlike hers, her parents take her money and pretend they are better than my family just because they are simply teachers and wear name brand clothing.

And it angers me though that my brother is okay with that.

Serina changed my brother.

Now all what he cares is buying expensive clothes and brands and trying to be a wanna be popular boy just because she used to be one. Yet even when she was popular in highschool she always brings up the topic to everyone that she was bullied in school and that she is shy and quiet.

LIES.

ALL LIES.

She walked down the hallways with a group of fake friends and was the loudest there was when she laughed. She cried every time saying she was bullied when heck she is the one bullying people. Especially to Rose.

I was bullied too but I never cried about it looking for pity. I was mute for eight years in school and even that I managed through everything. Sure everyone is different but she is taking this to a whole new level of playing victim.

And I hate it how she gets away with everything after all she did to Rose.

She is going to pay somehow.

The dark corners of my mind was slowly contaminating my heart. A smudge of black was dropped and I could feel a switch in me suddenly...snap.

Just when I was talking on the phone with Rose I heard somebody knock on the door. I slightly opened the door to my room and peeked my head out only to see Serina entering and greeting my parents.

The smudge in my heart grew at that moment.

I needed to end this one way or the other...

"Rose...what's the plan?"

*****

I've been a good girl.

Back when I was in highschool.

Until the certain people that took place in my life changed all of that.

Started with Joe.

Followed by Ana.

Then Emilio.

Steve.

Juan.

And lastly Serina.

They either broke me or hurt me.

Out of that list I've learned to forgiven my enemies.

I will never forgive her though.

I will never forgive Serina...

September 7, 2018~

Joshua couldn't get the hint that I had a man already. He has been calling me everyday and texting me. And whenever I put a picture of Damian on my status in WhatsApp he would go depressed about it. Just like Concho.

And the many other guys after me...

I had a forty year old man after me and a bunch of pervs and as well as men from Turkey trying to video call me and shizz to which all has been denied and rejected. They were getting out of hand so I simply just ignore, block, and delete. My favorite three steps now. If only I could do that in real life.

"So...your boyfriend...do you love him?" Joshua said through the phone after a while of small talk.

"Yes I do. I'm madly and crazy in love with him."

He let out a single laugh and went all quiet. After a while he spoke again.

"I can tell you are...I can see the sparkle in your eyes."

He then cleared his throat and changed the topic somewhat.

"The Nun is coming to theaters. Steve is coming to Nancy's house. You should come as well so then you and I can go watch it."

Steve was going to help Nancy with her college homework so he was going to stay over for the weekend at her house. I've never stayed over at someone's place. Not even if Nancy was my sister I still wouldn't be comfortable being somewhere that wasn't my room. Besides Joshua lived in her house...

I wasn't stupid to know what his real intentions were.

"I'll pass. I'm going to be busy." I lied.

"Your sister is literally asking right now permission to your dad so you can come over." He said.

I pressed my teeth together and sure enough I could hear my father talking on the phone with Nancy from the living room.

"I really want to see you." He whispered.

"My dad won't let me go."

"Why not? Steve is going why not you?"

"Danielle!" My father called.

"I have to go."

"Okay beautiful. Bye." He quickly hung up and I left my phone on the bed as I walked out my room to the living room. My mom was laying on the couch watching TV and my dad was sitting on the other couch. They suddenly turned off the TV and looked at me.

"Yes?" I sat in a stool chair from the kitchen.

"Nancy wants you to go."

"And?"

"Do you want to go?" My dad asked.

"Not really."

"What do I tell her then?" My dad looked at me.

"What do you mean?" I laughed awkwardly.

"She keeps saying I'm too stubborn and overprotected with you. She wants to spend sister time with you."

"I mean I'm okay spending the day with her but I don't want to sleep elsewhere." I truthfully told him.

They barely sleep and I love to sleep and the children just want to play all day long with me. That and Joshua is trying to find alone time with me to which I'm not okay at all.

"Just tell her I'm busy okay." I stood up about to go to my room when my father suddenly asked me a question off guard.

"What are you with Joshua?" He suddenly asked.

"W-what?" I frowned.

My mom who was laying on the couch, sat up.

"Is it true you are talking to him?"

"Um yeah? Uh why the question? Is it wrong?"

"Talking to men all day. Girls your age don't want to be with a single person anymore. They fall easily for any man's cheesy lines." My father looked at me without blinking.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me..."

The room got dead silent and the glares were like daggers. I had both of my parents staring at me now.

"What did I do now?" I laughed mostly because I was angry.

Angry because I know what this was about.

"Steve told me you text with Joshua and keeps seeing other messages from other men popping on your phone screen."

"Yeah and so?"

"What do you mean so???? This is wrong Danielle."

"Look I don't know what much Steve said to you but one thing for sure there is nothing wrong with having friends." I said.

"Friends...is that what they call it these days? Guy friends don't exist okay?! Not with other thoughts coming in the way."  My father rose his voice at me.

"What the heck," I frowned. "What does all of this have to do with me?"

"Plenty. I know Joshua is interested in you and it's probably the reason why you want to go."

At this I laughed out loud.

"Did you not just hear me say I DON'T want to go?!"

"You probably told your sister."

"I haven't even talked to her at all!"

"Joshua that day saw Damian picking you up that day when everyone came to the party and you left. He saw you leave and came back saying how on earth you were dating such an ugly guy."

He said that?...

My mind quickly went back to the day when I first talked to Joshua on the phone.

"It's sad that you are already taken."

"How is that sad?" I said. "I'm happy."

"Yeah but I'm not because I will never get the girl that I want."

"There are more out there..."

"But none like you."

"You don't know that."

He laughed and it got quiet as he whispered, "I came too late for you Beautiful."

And I would tell him that life is life and he'll get over me. He would simply chuckle and then reply back saying, "Nobody wants me. Probably because I'm ugly."

And to make him feel better I told him he wasn't. Truth was he wasn't ugly at all. Not at all.

"Is your boyfriend good looking?" He asked.

"Everyone says he is not but to me I see beyond looks. And to me he is the handsomest one out there. Looks can't define who a person is. One shouldn't just simply judge by the outside."

He told me I was right and it was wrong for people to be judging someone and saying if the person looks ugly or not.

"You know something...we would have made a beautiful couple." He ended with that.

My mind came back to reality. I was angry now. More than angry. So much hypocrisy from Joshua and now I had my father throwing a huge fit of something that wasn't so important.

"You are not going to stay at your sister's house understood!"

And just like if whatever came out from my mouth, it was turned to the opposite. I clearly said I didn't want to go and I had over here my father making a scene.

More horrible things my father said that night. Things that I wish I can forget. Things which I don't want to mention.

All that I can recall from that night was that I fought with my dad like never before and stormed off to my room. I remembered crying in anger until I just snapped.

I felt my eyes darkened and my head throb as a swirl of violence painted a bloody portrait on a campus in my mind.

I needed to let this all go.

I needed to end this.

My mother comforted me for a while saying that my dad was just misunderstanding things.

Things that my brother planted in his head.

Revenge I say.

Probably because the last time Serina came to the house she said she wanted one of my paintings on the wall but I said NO to her. She cried to her dad about it resulting my brother to be angry.

That was one of the reasons...

And then it hit me..

It was revenge alright but for another reason...

My brother infected my father's mind about me and Joshua and who knows what other things about me simply because a few days ago when Serina came to the house she was arriving when she parked her car behind mine when I was about to just leave. I got out of the car and she rolled down her window.

"Do you want me to move?"

"Uh duh yeah how you expect me to leave idiot?" I rolled my eyes. I then placed the phone on my ear and pretended to be talking on the phone with Rose. "Ugh hi Rose yeah I'm on my way just waiting for this thing to move out of the way."

That idiot must have snitched on my brother...

That day I went to spend the afternoon with Rose at the park and brought her to the house. But before I brought Rose to the house I made a call to my dad insisting that he kicked Serina out. Rose doesn't stand her presence just like I do. They did kicked her out but she cried to her step dad resulting my parents to now accept her whenever she comes to the house and whatever time she wants to leave...

When my mother left that night leaving me alone in my room after the whole scene. I cried some more until my eyes wandered to the corner of my room where a suitcase stood. Without thinking some more I grabbed random clothes and stuffed it in the suitcase. I was about to escape through the window when suddenly my phone buzzed.

"Hello?" I answered trying not to make my voice crack.

"Hey Love is everything okay?" It was Damian.

Lord I couldn't be much happier to hear his voice.

"It's horrible." I let out an accidental sob. "I'm escaping tonight."

"What??? Princess why?"

"I can't stand it no more. I want to leave this all behind." My voice shook.

"Princess calm down. Please love calm down okay."

I don't know what's about Damian that always knows how to control me. And just like that my mind clicked and realized I was making a huge mistake. I dropped my suitcase back in its corner and got in bed. With Damian whispering sweet things to me as I slowly fell to sleep.

***

The next day, Rose told me her plan to end the hoe.

Told me that she was going to make a fake email and send it to Serina's step dad saying all the shit she has done. With the help of her sister she was going to make this non traceable so nobody can ever find out who the sender was. I told her yeah but then I thought better and told her to hold the plan while I consulted this with another friend who was much wiser.

So I got in Wattpad and sent a pm to Tara.

Her advice was to not do it because it could stir up some trouble. Because I was fed up with mistakes (that and because Tara is so wise at everything) I took her advice and aborted the mission with Rose.

We were back to the beginning.

No evidence. No plan. No nothing.

Serina once again was a step ahead of us.

With everything going downhill I decided later that day to go eat at my favorite place. It was called Chicken Express and I legit eat chicken everyday.

Damian always makes fun of me saying I'm going to grow feathers and wings and that one day the chicken population will be gone because of me.

Pfffttt puh-lease. There is plenty to spare.

Anyways I was waiting for my order from the drive thru window when I just casually looked inside the place. Only a guy was inside eating. He was wearing a red collar neck shirt looking down on his phone with his meal in front of him. He wore glasses and then just like that, the person seemed so familiar to me.

Joe?

Just then my order came and I just left.

To this day I never knew who it was but something about that person was awfully familiar. Not enough I guess since I didn't want to further investigate.

*****

"Tell me you had nothing to do with that email?" My mother said when I got home from work the next day.

"What email?" I frowned.

"The one about..."

My mother paused as my dad entered.

"I swear if it's you I'm not getting you out of jail." My dad frowned.

"Jail???????" At this point I was very confused. How you expect me to know anything when nobody cares to elaborate for me?

"Serina's step dad have filed a police investigation towards you." My mother said.

WTFFFFF

"Me?!" I yelled. "What did I do???"

"Somebody sent an email to Serina's step dad saying some things about her. All they know it was sent by someone named Rebecca but nothing more to it. They believe it was you who made a fake account."

"That day you went to the park with Rose," my dad went after my mom finished speaking. "Did you two plan this?"

"What of course not! We spent the day at the PARK hiking and duck feeding. I have better things to do."

"Coincidence that that same day you hung out with Rose, that email was sent..."

"It's bullshit if you think blaming something I didn't do will fix everything."

"Danielle!" My mom gasped.

Once again I left to my room.

If no one wants to believe me then so be it. I'm used to it already...

Numb one will say.

Me: I think we are in trouble...

I sent Rose a text. Seconds later she responded.

Rose: What happened?

Me: We got cops investigating an email sent to hoe. They are after me and it will be soon until they go after you as well...

Rose: what the hell for??? Deny everything deny everything!

Me: I thought we aborted mission

Rose: we did! I never sent anything

Me: I'm scared.

Rose: everything will be okay

Will it though? Because everything that has to do about Serina never seems okay instead it's worse.

More than worse.

That day I got really sick. To the point I thought I was going to die. I wanted to tear my own skin apart because I couldn't handle it anymore. I had rashes everywhere as if touched by poison ivy but it wasn't that that affected it. I was burning inside and everything in me itched and hurt. My eyes were swollen from crying because of the pain and the endless stress of the mess I was being accused of. I screamed in the night because I couldn't take it anymore nothing anymore. I thought I could deal with it but I can't. This was getting worse by the second. My skin was getting swollen as if I broke down in hives. I just need to make it through the night....just for this night....

I see her. Trying to look through my door. She is there trying to break down everything that I have. Everyone I love. I got to keep her out...I can't let her in much longer. Not closer. She takes a step. All I see is me keeping the door shut. It's not enough though...she insists and I trail down in tears.

I'm weak. I'm worthless. I'm nothing. Nothing matters. Things in my head say but I know its not true. It's playing games with my head. It wants me to make me feel bad. I must not let it win. She is getting closer. I'm tired. My arms can't keep the door shut. She wants to know everything. My secrets. My life. My weakness. She wants to get in. I'm angry. She has made everything go bad. I must destroy her. I need to get rid of her. I cry for help but nobody is there to help me. I need somebody to help me to keep the door shut. Why is she so desperate to enter?! It's just like any room! No matter what she just wants to know. My arms give in. The door is open. I'm crying. Mostly in anger. She shall never see again. And I let go.

My heart tightens, my teeth clench, my nails itch for blood.

I want her dead.

And in instinct I go for the eyes and dig my nails into her flesh running down her face letting blood start to trail down. I scratch and I laugh inside. I don't want her here anymore. She doesn't scream. She opens her mouth but no sound comes from it. What is happening to me???? I see me smiling in tears. I'm bawling my eyes out in tears. This is horrible! But why does this feel so right? She gets on her knees and I'm still there my nails stuck to her skin. I want it all gone. The blood runs down my hands like veins. I'm not scared. Nor sad. All I know that this feels good. She is going to be gone now for sure. Her mouth his still agape and not a scream escapes from her. It makes me feel better knowing she has no pain. Or so that's what I think.

And the moment I let go...

She screams her whole soul out.

I slowly open my eyes. Instead of sitting up and gasping for air. I stare calmly at the dark ceiling.

It was a dream.

Just a dream...

A lone tear trail down my cheek and I briefly smile before closing my eyes and going to sleep again.

I don't know, yet I know...

I'm slowly going insane.