My heart thumped in my chest and my legs felt weak as I stood in line with the rest. My row followed out and waited in the hallway. Small flat screen TVs were on the wall zooming in the faces of the students as they walked down the aisle and took their seats. I could hear the band playing the graduation theme song as students were entering. There were about a thousand people on the seats surrounding the place. The line got smaller and smaller as one by one we were sent to walk towards our assigned seats. First name and last names of the students appeared in the screens and were going alphabetically in order. I felt my heart freeze when it was finally reading out the last names with the letter V. 

Next thing I knew it, I was next.

The girl who walked before me sort of tripped. I started to panic. I didn't want to trip in front of the whole world.

"Okay you're next," the usher lady told me. "Smile it's your graduation." She beamed.

I didn't realize my face was serious. Mostly in shock. I never expected this day to finally come and now it was here. I gave a weak smile and when my signal to walk was up, I confidently started to walk. Bright lights filled the place almost blinding me. Thousands of eyes followed me and I could feel the cameras watching me. I finally got to my seat and sat there, waiting for the rest to finally come in. Once everyone was in, the band stopped playing the music.

The rest was just a blur.

All I could hear was my heart pounding in my chest as the speeches were being taken. My head was in lala land as I stared at the back of Juan's head.

Yes his head.

That was the only thing keeping me sane.

Too much light, too much people, too much sounds...it was all too much for me.

I quietly sat there and watched as the names were being called and diplomas were being handed.

This is it.

I'm so close to leaving.

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R...

I came back to reality when I heard what group was coming next. Juan's row stood up and walked all the way to the stage to line up as one by one, their names were being called out.

When the popular ones walked to the stage and get their diplomas, people would cheer for them the loudest and yell their names and clap the longest. Meanwhile the nobodies would just get a single woohoo and dry claps.

What would I be?

I hated to think how people didn't treat everyone equally and shit.

For everyone else I didn't clap for them. Though out A-Q I wasn't even paying attention and only sat there. Some I didn't know, some I didn't care, and the rest had some little history with me.

That one girl?

She got me in trouble in sixth grade because she was all over my desk drooling and didn't move when I politely told her and got freaking mad because I rose my voice.

That guy?

Oh he tagged me during a game of Shark-and-Minnows even so I broked my wrist and didn't care when I was so close to winning.

That other girl?

She yelled at me for getting two questions wrong in a group assignment where my group did NOTHING and I did all the work and where she called me useless.

That one right there?

The bitch took all the credit in a work that she didn't do in my freshmen year and her guy stuck the middle finger at me for no reason in the hallway.

And that one group?

They were Ana's friends. Self explanatory there.

I didn't care about any of the people graduating really. To some it was a miracle that they even made it this far. I'm ashamed of my school.

"Juan Francisco Rocha."

My heart almost jumped out from my chest at the call of his name.  He was an exception to the pathetic people in my highschool.

He walked down the stage and finally received his diploma.

I clapped as loud as I could and smiled ear to ear, happy that he was finally a  graduated student. The guy next to me looked at me funny. I was quiet through out half of the ceremony until Juan's turn. He walked down the stage and took back his seat. He looked back at me and smiled.

Alisha's row was next.

They called and called until they called Alisha's name to get her diploma.

I started to clap again the loudest for her.

And then came me...

My row stood up and I followed my group to the back of the stage. I looked for my parent's faces through the crowd but couldn't recognize who was who.

I felt lonely.

"Danielle! Go Danielle!" I turned to my left and saw Merlyn's parents cheering me on. I smiled, relief that I saw familiar faces come to view.

"Owen Valdez."

Owen looked back at me and gave me two thumbs up as he walked down the stage.

I took a step.

"Oscar Valdivia."

I took another step.

"Dalton Daniel Valko."

I stopped.

My hands started to get clammy and my legs started to get wobbly. Everyone applauded as the guy in front of me got his diploma and walked off the stage.

"Danielle Martinez Valladares."

My head was elsewhere but my legs seemed to know what they were doing. I strutted down the stage and held my head high as I was finally making one of my dreams come true.

Highschool has been a disaster for me.

Ever since freshmen year I myself walked inside the bear cave. Metaphorically speaking of course. I myself said yes to many mistakes.

I let the wrong person come into my heart.

I let the wrong people come to my live.

I let the wrong decisions take part of me.

All I needed to say was no but I never had the guts to be stronger than the rest. I let people bully me, push me, pull me, hurt me, use me, heck even leave me.

I walked to a guy who was holding my diploma.

I blamed the past for many things when really it was all me. I had to keep bringing the past back up. I made friends, allies, and mostly enemies during highschool. There were so many times that I wanted to switch high schools, heck I wanted to move to a different town.

What would my life be if I had chosen that path?

"Congratulation." The man holding my diploma, congratulated me and handed my diploma. I shook his hand and kept walking.

If I left long time ago I wouldn't have ever met Rose or Kaitlynn. My two best friends that have been with me when I most needed them. I wouldn't have been with Alisha in these moments nor with Merlyn who have known me for a very long time.

I wouldn't have met Joe who crushed my heart many times and left me in the end without saying a single word.

I wouldn't have met Emilio who healed my heart only to leave a new scar when he dumped me and never left or told me a better explanation.

I wouldn't have met Ana who played as my friend only to reveal her true colors and who made my life hell all because of her stupid obsession with my brother.

I wouldn't have met myself either.

I've been in a shell for almost eighteen years letting all of those people trample me.

Though thanks to them I changed. I became stronger, louder, confident, determined, and over all hopeful. Because even with all the bad drama in my life, I have hope that I will have a normal life once Highschool was way behind me.

And now I was just a few minutes to put it all behind me.

I looked at my classmates who were now just exes to me and I smirked. All main haters were gone and I was glad to be graduated with no one giving me the bad eyes.

People applauded me as I got my diploma and shook everyone's hands in the process. One by one the ones behind me started to get their diplomas.

I could hear my name being called out from the crowd. My eyes wandered to the center of the place where all the graduates were sitting and I saw Juan. He was yelling my name and clapping.

If I had left I wouldn't have ever met him...

My heart fluttered at the sight of him and then my eyes darted the other way when I heard more people calling out my name. I looked everywhere until my eyes caught sight of my brother-in-law and my sister in the crowd. Next to them were Steve and Rose cheering me on. My eyes wandered more and then I saw my other brother-in-law and my other sister waving frantically for my attention. My nephew and niece were there and next to them were my parents.

A broad smile went up to my lips and I felt my eyes start to water in joy.

Best. Day. Ever.

*****

As all the newly graduates threw their caps into the air, I ran off for the nearest exit. I bumped into Kalvin while doing so.

"Dani!" He started to do small jumps and clap.

"Chinito! You came!" I couldn't help but to hug him.

"Yeah one of my cousins was there graduating. I got to see you and Juan so I'm super excited. Speaking of which...where is Juan?"

"Um good question." I looked everywhere for him as everyone started to pour out.

I gave a quick text but he never answered back.

Where are you Juan....

I inspected everyone's faces but still no Juan. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to k----

"Dani!" Rose squeezed in between the crowd and found me.

Next thing I know it my whole family came to find me.

That night I never found Juan. I wanted to stay and look for him but he never showed up and so I went with my family to a small restaurant called Taco Cabana to celebrate.

Juan: You have a good life.

My heart jumped when j saw his text.

Why you say that? I texted back to him.

Juan: I'm just saying because it's nice and true. For reals Dani you have a good life :)

I smiled but then felt sad that I didn't get to see him.

Where did you go? I texted.

Juan: Home. My mom came and took me home. And sorry I didn't answer my phone died. I wanted to see you...but I left. I love you Danielle.

He loves me. He actually loves me. Hdhsjsixhcbdis!!!

Well sort of. He is still taken. But even so with all the complications I without a doubt told him the truth.

I love you.

It was all real. My feelings were real to him. I felt real.

Juan: you said it :) I love you Danielle so much. I love you...

And that was the moment that I knew that I was in love.

To a guy who had a piece of his heart to his actual girlfriend and now...

To me.