Lord Low looked exhausted. In only a few days he had dark circles forming under his eyes and a tired cast to his face. His father would not stop pestering him. He wanted to go out for a gallop in the mornings like they used to. He wanted to play cards in the afternoon. He wanted to take him to the village on business.

Lord Low denied him at every turn and the Duke was getting even more short tempered than usual. Lord Hart was rather amused. He spent most of his time with Trent and the Duchess, since Low was still avoiding him. That did not please the Duke either. It seemed as though Lord Hart had upset everything about his life just by showing up.

He didn't even have an excuse to send him away anymore. He might have sent him on business, but he had refused to involve Lord Hart with any of the estate. To give him something to do was to acknowledge his son's existence. Instead he locked himself away in his study and shouted at the few poor souls who worked about him.

In contrast, Lord Low was quieter than anyone had seen him. When Lord Hart finally managed to track him down on his own, it was to look at the shadow of his brother in concern. The boy jumped when he called out to him, as he tried to scurry away through the garden. He saw the familiar redness painting the boy's cheeks and his eyebrows descended in a frown.

"Low... I am sorry." He started with a grimace. His brother turned to look at him in shock, shaking his head even as he looked away again.

"Why are you apologising? You've not done anything..." He muttered as he scuffed a boot in the dirt. His face rather seemed to say different though.

"I must have done something to upset you. You have been avoiding me all week." He replied as he watched his brother's fidgeting form.

"What? No. I was just giving you time with your friend is all. I didn't want to intrude." His voice scoffed at the accusation but his body language clearly made it known that he wanted to run away.

"You are uncomfortable with me. Was it something Trent said? Do you... think I am disgusting? Do you hate me now?" He was searching for answers for his little brother's behaviour and could find none but those that tore at his heart.

"No! God no. I could never hate you. Please don't think that. It's just..." Low had turned to face him now, pleading with his eyes even as a sudden blush flushed his cheeks. Derry scrunched his face in confusion.

"It's just what?" He asked sadly. Low shook his head.

"It's not what you think." He insisted. Derry scratched his head and looked around at the empty garden.

"Um, I don't really know what to think. So how can it not be what I think?" He said with a half-grin. Low even cracked an awkward grin at him back.

"I... uh... yeah I guess you got me there." He coughed and fidgeted some more. He wasn't looking at him again. Derry realised how much he missed those eyes looking at him. Where were those admiring glances and smiles he used to get? He stepped in closer while Low was looking away and noticed the way he trembled once he saw him close.

"What is bothering you, Low? How can I help you if you won't talk to me? Please, brother, tell me what is wrong." He begged in a low voice, his eyes never leaving the boy's face. He reached out a hand and grasped Low's tightly so he would not run. He thought he saw an edge of panic flit in those orbs as they danced across the lawn.

"Nothing... nothing is wrong exactly. I don't need help. That is a lie, maybe I do need help. Who am I kidding." He listened to Low mutter to himself as those he wasn't there and his brow raised. Low turned to face him, taking a deep breath and staring into Derry's eyes. Low gulped. Sweat formed on his brow.

"What is it?" Derry asked in a low voice, trying not to scare him. He lifted one hand to the boy's cheek and stroked it gently. Low trembled and the words tumbled out in a rush.

"I saw you and Trent." He admitted with a furious blush. "The first night." Derry's eyes widened dramatically.

"Oh! Oh bollocks. I am so sorry. You must have been utterly disgusted. Please, try to just forget it. Put it out of your mind." He rushed, pulling his hand back. Low made a rather strange sound in his throat and shook his head.

"It's not what you think." This time the blush seemed to even creep into his hair and down his neck. He shifted awkwardly and scratched his neck this time in quite the same manner as Derry had.

"I am sorry. I did not mean for you to see anything like that. It was a one-time thing. I swear I shan't do anything of the sort with him again." He continued as though he had not heard Low at all.

"I said, it's not what you think!" He actually raised his voice to stop his brother from saying any more. Derry gave him a blank look and tilted his head.

"What?" He finally asked. Low gulped and then collapsed on the ground in a heap, startling Derry into lurching forward. The boy had hold of his own hair and was panting in a panic. He was mumbling incoherently as Derry knelt next to him in concern. "Come to think of it... how on earth did you see us? I am sure we didn't..."

"Trent said he'd tell me about you at school if I went to his room." Low's face was covered by his hands now in distress. Derry looked at him in shock. "I'm sorry! You wouldn't tell me anything though." He cried from behind his hands. When he looked up at his brother his eyes were full of tears.

"How much did you see?" Derry asked as he carded his fingers through his little brother's hair comfortingly. Low didn't answer, he just started to sob. That told Derry enough. He had seen too much.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, Derry. I didn't know." His brother's words were filled with tears and sincerity. He gathered Low into his arms and pulled him into a tight hug. The boy's hands clung to his shoulders fiercely as he sniffled into his neck. He petted the boy's head to calm him down.

"Hush now. I know you didn't. It's not your fault, Low. It's not your fault." He cooed to the boy as he rocked them in the hug. He felt his brother shudder and shake his head sadly.

"It is my fault. I asked you that night... to sleep with me... during the storm... it's my fault you... what can I ever do to make it up to you?" He insisted in halting speech, punctuated with sobs. Derry found himself smiling a little into his brother's hair.

"You don't have to do anything. I would not have changed a thing. Low, I love you so much. I would take a million punishments if it kept you safe. It is enough that you were safe." He growled fiercely into the soft hair. He could smell a hint of lavender and cloves clinging to the errant strands and focused on how much they felt like home.

"I love you too, Derry. I always have, and I always will." Low crawled in close and seemed to almost wrap himself around his brother's body. They just sat there like that, breathing in each other's scent and feeling each other's warmth. Reassuring each other that the other was alive and that they were connected.

"Thank you, Low." Derry said finally. Low snorted and pulled back a little to look at him.

"What are you thanking me for?" He asked with a strange look.

"Thank you for... accepting me. Loving me. In spite of..." He replied, trailing off at the end clumsily. It was Derry's turn to blush at the thoughts that came with the statement.

"Oh dear, don't bring that up now." Low moaned and shook his head. Derry saw the blush resurface on Low's cheeks for the umpteenth time that afternoon.

"At least now I know why you haven't been looking at me." Derry said in a low voice. He did not mean for it to come across as sexy, but Low was already being stirred uncomfortably by the images flashing behind his eyes. He made a rather strange sound in his throat again, and Derry felt him start to pull away.

"So you think." He muttered as he slid backwards off Derry's lap. He didn't realise that it was not quick enough. His dear elder brother felt his little growing problem with disbelief. Was that...? Low pulled his legs up and held onto his knees.

"It's not what I..." Derry whispered to himself thoughtfully, then smiled over at his still blushing brother. "Ah, let's go for a walk shall we?" He offered his hand to Low, and his brother took it hesitantly. He pulled them both up to their feet and pretended to look away while Low adjusted himself in his trousers. He nodded to himself in confirmation.

"Maybe I should..." Low tried to leave but Derry just hooked his arm about the boy's shoulders and turned him to the far gardens.

"It's fine. I want to walk with you. You have to stop avoiding me. Starting now." He grinned as he pulled a reluctant boy along the paths with him.

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