I reluctantly packed my things. He took me to the airport and I felt so down and out. Many people unintentionally stared and children pointed. I was losing my mind. Over him of all people. He tried to not look at me. Because I didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to leave me. But... it was real.

It made me need to fight back tears. The bawling kind of tears. I wore plain skinny jeans and a black shirt. I had a light jean jacket over it and that was all. I couldn't stand this. My hands shook and my eyes stayed at the floor. Like a prisoner taking his  death sentence to the gallows.

I hadn't noticed we stopped. I was going to board the plane. My hands were cold and clammy and my heart was beating too fast. I sighed as Joshua turned me in his arms and softly pressed his lips to mine. I indulged in him. Something I paid attention to that I shouldn't.

" Fly safely. I'll miss you. And most importantly, I love you, Bella. Take care of yourself." I didn't feel my voice in my throat. I couldn't say anything back.

" When you leave the airport leave through the northern most part. A blue toyota will be waiting." He whispered. I nodded once. We were informed the plane would leave in a few minutes. I went to go in, but my sleave resisted, as Joshua held it.

" I love you." He whispered. I pulled my sleeve from his hand and got on the plane.

" Bye." I whispered bitterly. I shoved my bag uptop. I sat in my seat quickly. I put on my headphones for the rest of the ride. I couldn't take it. I listened to the loudest rock songs I knew. I knew I might cry. He was gone. And so was my heart.

" Bella?" A man asked. I nodded. He opened my door and I slid in the back. He closed the door after me and Slid into the drivers. The drive was silent.

" Are you okay?" He asked softly. I mustered a smile.

" Yes." I saw a slight smile form on his face. It was the descretion. He knew I wasn't he just didn't push it. It was so lonely, this little road. I nodded my thanks. He handed me the keys. I went inside and left everything in a closet by the front door. I threw myself on an upstairs bed. And cried myself to sleep. I could never have the things I wanted. You could call me selfish. But I would rather be homeless than live in a home that's a constant reminder of why I'm even here.

It took me sometime. But, I woke up in the morning, showered and dressed. I sat at the table, eating a bowl of plain cherrios. I heard a short knock at the door. I went to answer it, sort of dragging my feet. I swung the door open. On the other side had been my chauffeur. Tall, with dirty blonde hair and light brown eyes. He was tan and lean. Almost like a surfer dude. I could imagine him on a surf board, riding the waves.

" I'm sorry, may I come in?" He asked softly. I nodded and let him come in.

" Good morning, miss." He said respectfully.

" It's just Bella, skip the formalities."

" Yes, Ms. Bella. I was appointed to watch and help you."

" Oh so now I need a babysitter?" I grumbled. I saw his expression and wanted to take my words back.

" Yes. Though I was appointed, I must hear it from you. Would you be opposed to what I am appointed?" He asked. He was calm, but I knew he was shy and meant me no trouble.

" I'm fine with it." I said.

" Very well. I will be here if you need anything, like for me to go grocery shopping. And other things like cleaning."

" Oh. Thank you." I said. I sat, finishing my cheerios. He took my bowl and spoon away, cleaning it.

" Oh, you didn't have to, but thank you."I said suddenly.

" I asked you if you disagreed to what I was appointed."

"... I know." I sighed. He dried the bowl and gently placed it in the furnished cabinet. He was strong but very thin. He had a timidness in him. He was nothing as I thought he would be. I hugged and left. He did not look at me as I left, which I strangely appreciated. I closed the door. I took a nap as soon as I fell on the bed. I would always nap when I got the chance.

I rose to the smell of something absolutely delicious. I couldn't tell exactly what it was but it was absolutely mouth watering. I stood and washed my face. I heard a faint knock. I opened the door.

" I made you lunch. I didn't think you would... wake up on time to do it yourself. So I took it upon myself." I nodded my thanks. I walked downstairs. I paused in front of the kitchen. He paused on top of the stairs.

" Thank you." I whispered. He nodded. I sat at the table and ate my food. I felt uncomfortable with him in the room. I knew I was going to get terribly thin. He took the hint and stepped out. I quickly ate and the taste blossomed. It was as good as it smelled. Sweet potato, pumpkin squash, potato, Calabaza squash, and broccoli. It had a kick of ginger and black pepper. The sweet and heartiness of it was filling. I knew my blush was dark. It was better than anything I had tasted, genuinely. I finished it quickly and washed the plate he served it on. I sat back at the table. I felt his presence again. I simply sat in deep thought.

" Are you... alright?" He asked in almost a whisper.

" No. I don't know what to do."

" What about?"

" About... about Joshua sending me here."

" Joshua sent you here to avoid any involvement between you and the drug trade he was pulling."

" But... I don't want to be here... I want to be... there." I whispered, my voice breaking. I knew he had nothing to say.

" Not an option." He whispered. He left the room and I ran upstairs. I knew it was true. I sighed and watched some dramas. Binge watching helped me cope these days with my inner yami. A hole was forming where my heart was and it squeezed in hard. Maybe this was... temporary... I couldn't know. It was slowly chipping pieces of my heart away. And... My heart ached already.