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My Worst Nightmare

WARNING- This chapter contains reference to rape. Please don't read it if it will make you uncomfortable. This book is rated mature.

"So you want me to what?" I question, tired and agitated.

In between the sleepless nights, trying to get the mountains of school work done and my evening job at the club, my life was becoming increasingly difficult to juggle. My eyes begin to close of their own accord, but I manage to fight to keep them open before Ivan gets a chance to notice.

"Kitty, are you alright?"

"Yes, yes I'm fine," I insist, placing my hands on my hips. "Now what was it you wanted me to do?"

My attention shifts back to my boss, who's currently sat in the middle of the empty stage on a wooden chair. We're the only two people in the club, and to say I'm uncomfortable would be an understatement. I'm almost positive that Ivan wouldn't do anything to hurt me. However, years of being in an abusive relationship conditions you to think in a certain way and forces you to question your judgement.

Ivan's attire is unusually casual today, consisting of faded denim jeans and a white t-shirt. Whereas I'm wearing what I would be expected to wear on shift, which consists of, well, not a lot.

He frowns for a moment as if contemplating whether to believe me, but his usual cheeky smile soon resurfaces

"I want you to give me a lap dance Kitty."

I stare at him, narrowing my eyes. The way he announces it so casually, it's like it's a request he makes on a regular basis.

"Are you taking the piss?"

He raises a dark eyebrow skyward, tilting his head ever so slightly, appearing as innocent as a puppy "No, I'm not," he chuckles, obviously finding this scenario entertaining.

I must admit if it wasn't happening to me it probably would be.

"I'm going to teach you."

"You're going to teach me?" I scoff unattractively, raising my finger in his direction.  "Shouldn't that be done by one of the girls?"

The chair scrapes against the floor, creating an awful screeching noise that echoes throughout the room, as he stands, and makes his way over to where I am.

"Tell me Gorgeous," he says, circling me like a vulture around an animal carcass. "Who predominantly occupies this club? Who are our main clients?"

"Men," I reply simply, already predicting where he's heading with this.

"Very good, and what am I?"

I raise my eyebrow in a sarcastic gesture. What I really want to say right now is, a condescending arsehole, but I don't.

"A man, " I answer

Ivan claps his hands together loudly. "Correct. I am a man, therefore I have insight into what men want. Plus I know what I want."

It would make sense, I guess. That's who's paying my wage at the end of the day, and considering tipping plays a large contribution towards my earnings, pleasing clients is the priority.

"So Princess, if you can please me, I'll let you loose on the punters."

I whirl around to find him sat back on the lonely chair, grinning from ear to ear. I groan in frustration.

"But I don't want to give you a lap dance Ivan. It's embarrassing," I grumble.

The corners of his mouth twitch up into what looks like a smirk "This is how all my girls have learnt, it's also one of the main reasons why we are the most popular club in the area. This will give you confidence," he assures me. "If you can do it to your boss, you can do it to anyone. Now, come on. I don't bite. Much."

Ivan reaches into his trouser pocket and pulls out a small black remote. He aims it towards the speakers, and slow seductive music fills my ears.

As if the situation wasn't awkward enough.

I gulp down the rather large lump in the back of my throat and advance towards him, my stiletto heels clicking against the wooden floorboards. My hearts racing a mile a minute, as I stand before him. Slowly, I lower myself onto Ivan's lap, shuddering when the denim material of his jeans rub against my bare thighs. The contact makes my body tingle all the way to my toes, and a sudden heat rises within me. Why do I have to wear a skimpy outfit when he's in full clothing?

"Um Kitty," Ivan coughs, alerting my attention "You're supposed to be getting me to pay you for more, not pay you to leave."

I jolt backwards in outrage, glaring down at him fiercely. For once I tower above him.

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special," I hiss through my teeth, lifting my foot to place it on the chair between his thighs. "I can't do this Ivan."

His gaze shifts from my eyes to my foot, and back again, his expression unfaltering. He opens his mouth to speak, but the noise of a door slamming interrupts him. I jump involuntarily, and as a result, my foot edges closer to Ivan's crotch.

"What have you gotten yourself into this time, Ivan?"

My head snaps around at the new female voice, and I watch as Raven struts over to us in a spangly bra and ultra mini skirt. She runs her manicured claws through her silky hair, tying it into a neat ponytail on top of her head, that swings behind her as she walks.

"Nothing I can't easily get myself out of," Ivan pokes his tongue between his lips, appearing very childish indeed I might add, "Bang on time Raven," he announces, glancing at his wristwatch.

"What?" I question, staring at them in confusion.

"Raven's going to show you some moves," Ivan explains. "She's one of the best in the business so count yourself lucky."

I grumble in reply "Can I not go home yet?"

Raven shoots him a stern look, causing him to smirk, "No, not yet," he replies.

"Right, let's start. I'm on shift tonight and I don't want to be here all day. Come here, girl," Raven's orderly tone startles us both.

Anger brews in my belly at her demanding voice, and the name she gives me. It seems that no one can ever get my name right. Nevertheless, I quietly stand beside her and observe, awkwardly, as she straddles my rather pleased looking boss.

"Ok, first things first. Always keep your full attention on the client. They are paying you specifically so put everything to the back of your mind and concentrate," Raven instructs, placing her hand on Ivan's cheek and running it down his stubbly chin. I watch him tense beneath her touch, which causes the corners of her painted lips to curve upwards in satisfaction.

"You can touch them as much as you want, but they are in no way allowed to touch you. If you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, create as much noise as possible or scream really loudly."

"Scream?" My eyes widen at the grim thought.

"Yeah. In my whole career, it's happened once. But I just punched the guy in the face," she states simply.

"In each of the cubicles, there are red buzzers on the wall. If you press one of those, it will activate an alarm, " Ivan pipes up, "And one of us will come running."

"Anyway, let's continue, " Raven adds, not believing safety is a priority.

I sigh heavily, but follow and listen all the same. It quickly becomes obvious that Raven and Ivan are, or at one time, were more than just friends, by the way she moves and acts around him. She clearly knows exactly what buttons to push in order to please him.

In the two hours I spent with Raven, I learnt more than I do during a week of school. She's a knowledgable teacher, with lots of experience under her belt. Unfortunately for me, she's also fairly impatient too. On more than one occasion, she pushed me uncomfortably close to my boss whilst I practised the moves.

After much debate, I finally agreed to meet with them at the same time the following week to continue lessons with Raven. Just as I'm about to make my escape, Ivan manages to grab me.

"I've got some homework for you," he announces, causing my jaw to drop.

"I really can't fit in any more homework, Ivan. I'm struggling to juggle everything as it is."

"Don't worry, you'll enjoy it," he gives me a wink and I stare at him in disbelief, waiting for him to explain himself.  "I want you to watch porn."

I blink quickly, suppressing my laughter "You want me to watch porn?"

"Well, specifically I want you to watch the women in porn. How they act, how they move. It'll help you out a lot."

I raise my eyebrow sarcastically. "Sure Ivan," I reply dismissively.

And with that, I'm out the door.

***

He thrusts himself inside me, harder and deeper until I feel every inch of him. Tears stream down my face as I try desperately to squirm underneath his solid weight, but deep down I know it's futile to fight. With great strength he rams my body further into the floorboards, the side of my face slamming against the cold, harsh wood.

"You are mine Kitty," he snickers, leaning in close to my ear and causing me to tremble. "Right up to the point where I decide to dump you like the piece of shit you are. The sooner you learn that, the better."

My eyes shoot open in panic and I stare, wide-eyed at my bedroom ceiling. The whole of my body shakes violently, as I lie in total silence, the reoccurring nightmare embedded into my mind.

Not surprisingly, my face is sodden with tears, and the bedsheets beneath me saturated In sweat. Slowly I manoeuvre myself to a sitting position, pulling my legs close to my chest seeking much-needed comfort. I wrap my arms around my knees and sob, as I have done many times previously.

The events of the nightmare happened years ago, and yet the memories still haunt me every day of my existence.

Shuffling in bed, I notice my phone on the bedside table radiating a suspicious light. I stare at its green glow for a second, before grasping it tightly with my fingers. A text message from Jacob, aka Sex god, awaits me.

Kitten. I'm having some people round mine tomorrow night. Danni will be there. Be at mine for seven
xJx

I gawk at the audacity of the person responsible for the text. The time sent reads two forty-five am, and a quick glance at the clock in the corner of the phone tells me it's now three am. What on earth is Jacob doing texting me at this hour? My fingers move quickly across the screen, the shaking has subsided considerably.

Jacob. What makes you think I want an invite? And why the hell are you texting me at 3 am?!
Kitty

Technically, I text at 2:45...What are you doing up at 3 am though, should be the question =p
xJx

I scoff at his complete disregard to the first question I asked. He's so annoying.

I could ask you the same question, Wilde
Kitty

I don't sleep too well Kitten
xJx

My eyebrows furrow together as I read his short reply

Neither do I. I had a nightmare
Kitty

Aww. Want me to come over and sing you to sleep- oh wait it's you that sings, isn't it =p
xJx

Anger boils inside my belly, and my cheeks flush. Why must he bring up that night? I can just imagine him sitting up in his bed grinning at his phone.

Shut it, Wilde.

Me-ow =p. I love it when you get riled up Kitten...So my house. Tomorrow. 7:00pm. Be there or else ;p
xJx

My curiosity gets the better of me as my fingers tap the letters on the small screen of their own accord

Or else what?

His reply is immediate, so I draw the phone close to my face so I don't have to squint.

Or else I'll become your worst nightmare ;p
Sweet dreams Kitten
xJx

My eyes narrow at my phone, the guy is so arrogant. Slamming my phone back down on the desk, I curl back under the duvet, forcing my eyes to close. My mind is racing a mile a minute, but not because of the nightmare. I can't believe how quickly I dismissed it from my thoughts. Did talking to Jacob help me forget? No, definitely not forget. There's no way I could erase my history. Perhaps he helped to ease my emotions a little.

Jacob has no idea. I truly wish he was my biggest problem, but he's not.

A/N- Hey readers <3. Hope you enjoyed the more serious chapter >.<. Let me know what you think. This was originally two chapters which I decided to combine.

Dedicated to @i-freaking-lo_ve-me , Jkaloko , Keyura_V TooMuchAttention , kiwimash12 for the votes, comments and general support. Much love,
Beth xx

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