My maths class is probably the most dullest room I have ever laid eyes on. The walls are bland and grey, the paint slightly peeling, the desks are wooden with names and engravings carved into them. Some look to be over ten years old. My teacher looks just as old as this classroom does. At any time, I think he might just fall asleep. I don't blame him, I've only been here for five minutes and I already want to close my eyes.

I rest my head on the old, bumpy table and stare across the room out of the window which looks like it hasn't been cleaned since before the summer.

How is this school still open?

I decide to switch my position and hide my head in the crease of my arm instead, trying to forget about my surroundings which I can't seem to escape from.

I wonder if I'll feel happier once I'm out of school and working. I highly doubt it. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I never have a clue what the hell I'm doing.

The class is full of students quietly talking amongst themselves as they wait for our teacher to start talking.

I almost jump out of my skin when the door suddenly flings open and hits the wall with a loud bang. Every other student in the room seems to have the same exact reaction as me. I'm relieved that I wasn't the only one. That would have been embarrassing.

William, Brains and Ryan all walk in together. Beck isn't with them, he must have a different class or he has a free period. They're all laughing and talking in an extremely loud volume which almost makes my face grimace.

They go to sit down at one table together, but our teacher quickly shoots up to stop them.

"No!" he shouts, making every student in the room jump once more. "You think I don't remember the havoc you all caused last year?"

Ryan pulls down his eyebrows and laughs in our teacher's face. "Mate, I don't even know you."

Brains snickers and pushes his glasses up his nose, William just simply chews the gum in his mouth and looks the least impressed.

Our teacher, who's name I don't know, points at Ryan to warn him. "I'm not your mate, my name's Mr Peters."

"Okay, Mr Peters, I don't know you, so you've clearly got us mistaken with someone else."

"You may not know me, but I do know you. You all made quite the names for yourself in this school. I know all about your tricks and behaviour, so if you think I'm going to let you sit together, you're wrong. You want to act like five year olds? Be my guest. I'll treat you as such."

I raise my eyebrows at Mr Peters' sassiness. Although he seems like a grumpy sod, I have a feeling I'll like him.

"Chill out, man," William mutters under his breath as he rolls his eyes.

Mr Peters doesn't react to that comment. He just kind of glares in William's direction and then points to the seat beside me. "You, sit there."

William gives the teacher an over-exaggerated, sarcastic smile before he throws his bag down on the floor and takes a seat beside me.

I try to scrunch myself up as much as possible so he won't even know that I'm here. Not that I should be worried, he's never taken any notice in me before. I think I'm invisible in his eyes. I'm also quite glad about that.

"You, over there," he demands to Brains.

"Yes, sir," he says in a sarcastic tone with a cheeky smile present on his face.

"You." He lastly points at Ryan who's trying to intimate our teacher with his harsh and scary expression. "Over there." He points to the front, far away from the others.

Ryan smirks and sticks his tongue against his cheek. "Oh, this should be fun."

Far from fun. I think this class might drain me for the rest of the year, especially now that I'm forced to be seated next to one of the most pretentious assholes in my year. Okay, maybe not pretentious, but still insanely rude.

There's nothing I hate more than rude people. There's just no reason for it. It takes nothing to just be kind, or to at least fake it for the other person's sake of mind, which is exactly what I do. I never wake up wanting to have a smile upon my face or having to ask questions which I have no care for, but I'm not just going to be rude to a person just because of how I'm feeling. There's no point in spreading such a hateful mood which I seem to hold so much of.

William doesn't communicate with me at all. He just slouches in his seat and does things to pass the time, like rolling cigarettes or writing on the table with his blue byro.

Curiosity gets the better of me, so I sit up a lighter straighter and take a quick glance at what he's writing into the wooden desk.

W.S.

His initials. How unimaginative.

I begin to wonder what I would draw on the desk if I were to do such a thing. It's not that I'm too scared to do so, I just don't see the point...and I sort of find it embarrassing. But, like I said, I find everything embarrassing.

I would probably draw birds or a butterfly, maybe even a face if I was talented enough. I soon realise that I am just as unimaginative as William.

I've known William Stanley since the first day of starting Greensail Academy. I was sat alone in the corner of my geography class because I've just been a loner since day one. Without any warning, William just picked up a chair and hurdled it across the room. For no good reason. I remember watching with my head shrunk into my neck as he laughed while being pulled out of the lesson. He didn't get suspended for that. They gave him a week worth of isolation and said that he was just playing up for the other students to make a big impression for his first day. Little did they know.

William is an angry person with so much rage inside him, it's unlike anything I've ever seen before. But he's also really, really sad. I think I'm the only one who sees the pain and devastation roaming around in his eyes. Maybe it's because I know what it's like to be feeling that way. William never shows that he's feeling upset, which I think is why he portrays himself as such an angry person —to hide away those feelings.

I can sense these things about other people, not because I'm a mind reader or anything, but just because I see a bit of myself in them. I think people who are experiencing so much internal pain can always sense when someone is feeling the same way. It's weird, but it's also comforting to think that maybe someone else has walked past me at one point and sensed that I am not okay.

The class drags on for what feels like eternity before the bell rings and we can finally escape from the dungeon which we have been trapped in for two hours.

I head straight to the library which is always quiet and peaceful. I don't particularly like silence, but it's relaxing when there's nothing in the background disturbing my music.

A Different Age, by Current Joys.

I place on my headphones and listen to the calm music which puts me in all of my feels. I don't even understand the meaning behind the song, I just like listening to it. For some reason, it makes me feel understood, it's like the perfect representation of my current mood. Music always makes me feel better. In fact, it makes me feel on top of the fucking world, even when I'm dying on the inside and almost falling apart.

Yep, music makes everything better.

I pull my book out of my bag along with my reading glasses which I rest on my nose. I open to page 142 and start to read, getting lost in my too-real imaginations which makes it seem like I'm no longer sitting in a library. I'm sitting in an entirely different kingdom, surrounded by people who understand me and are happy to see me, and I'm happy. I'm finally happy, because I no longer have to be me. I can be anyone I damn well want to be. When I have that choice, I choose anyone but me. That's the great thing about movies and books. We can pretend that things are different for a few minutes, that everything is going to be okay when we know that it's not.

Sometimes I want to escape for good.

I worry about the future. I believe that there is no future for me. Everyone around me seems to have their lives together; they know exactly what they want, have already found a significant other, are already planning their next steps. But I'm sat here with no idea what I want out of life. I'm doing A-Levels, but I wasn't really thinking about my future when I picked them, I just picked whatever subjects I was good at. I wasn't really in the best mind set when I was deciding my subjects, so I'll just blame it on that. I do sometimes panic when I realise that I'm staying in the same spot while others seem to be racing ahead of me, especially when it's people my own age.

My siblings make it seem so easy, but it's far from that. Amy has a house and a husband, she's been with him for ten whole years. I've never ever held a boy's hand. Sean studies at university and has a girlfriend, he gets distinctions in almost every class and does it with such ease.

Sometimes it pisses me off, but I do try to be happy for them. They're my siblings, after all. It's not their fault that I'm behind in life while they're thriving.