I think long and hard for a moment, but come up with nothing interesting to say about myself. It makes me realise how terribly boring I am.

"So?" Will says, growing impatient when I take so long to respond.

I fiddle with my fingers and stare at the leaves which blow against the wet ground beneath us. "I don't know. There's nothing about me. I don't know what to say."

"There's gotta be something."

I shake my head. "There's not."

"Any hobbies?"

"Nope."

"Reading is a hobby."

"But you already know that I read."

"So tell me something about it. Tell me why you read, tell me what got you started and why you love it. Tell me anything. Doesn't matter how irrelevant or weird it is, just tell me."

"I read..." I start to say, but stop myself when I realise how morbid and depressing my full answer is. I'm terrified that Will is going to judge me and run as far away as he can. I'm starting to enjoy his company, and it's scaring the crap out of me. I've never felt that way about anyone before. It almost feels like the beginning of a friendship.

A friendship is the last thing I want. Is too complicated, too messy, too exhausting.

"...because I like reading," I finish.

His face fully drops. "Have you ever heard of the phrase, that person is a closed book? Well you're sealed shut, like padlocked and chained type of sealed."

"I'm not."

"Prove it. Tell me the real reason."

"The real reason is weird, you'll think I'm crazy..."

"Try me."

I sigh and finally give in, deciding that it won't even matter anyway because whatever is going on between Will and I won't last. "It takes my mind off things and makes me feel like I'm somewhere else."

Will doesn't laugh like I've been expecting him to.

"So...you read to escape?" he assumes.

"Sometimes," I mumble before I quickly try to change the subject back on to him. "Why do you read?"

"Same reason," he informs me casually.

I feel the smallest pinch of hope on my heart, like I'm glad that someone finally understands me. I always knew that Will was hiding how he really felt from the rest of the world, I knew that he felt just as down as I do.

For this reason, I somehow feel more comfortable with him because I know I don't have to hide.

"You...read...to escape?" I ask hesitantly.

"I guess," he mumbles, finding another rock to kick around.

"What are you trying to escape from?"

He laughs and shakes his head like my question is stupid. "The fuck do you think?"

I frown at his choice of words that brings his rude side back to the surface.

"That was a joke. Obviously. Sorry, I forget you're not like the guys I hang around with," he apologises in his own special way.

"What are they like?" I ask when we continue our walk and find ourselves at the quarry.

It seems neither of us fear death when we dangle our legs over the high ledge which is roughly thirty feet above the water. The wind is strong and blowing harshly against our ice-cold faces as we stare at the lit up town in the darkness.

"They're funny and chill. We can take the piss out of each other without getting petty, we can just be ourselves," he explains.

His emerald eyes are glowing in the moonlight, his brown curls are dangling in front of them and distracting his sight. Acne dots around his chin and forehead, and his eyebrows are perfectly shaped with dark hairs.

"Are you doing something with them for your birthday?" I ask.

"Yeah, we're going out for drinks — just the four of us and two of our other mates."

"What about your family."

A muscle in his jaw moves as he clenches it down. "What about them?"

I shift around uncomfortably at the change of tone in his voice. "Are you going to do anything with them to celebrate?"

"They don't care," he scoffs.

"Why?"

He twists his head to face me where he narrows his fury-filled eyes. "Because they don't. They say they care, but they don't. To them, I'm just a problem. My brother, on the other hand...he's the best son they could've ever asked for."

I stay silent and stare at him for a while, studying his tensed muscles and the pain in his eyes which he's turning into anger to hide how he's really feeling.

"I'm sorry-" I begin to say, but he refuses to allow me to apologise.

"Don't. I don't want any sympathy. I don't even know why I told you any of that." He looks at me once more where he pulls his eyebrows together, staring at me as if I somehow hypnotised him into spilling facts about his personal life. "Forget I told you anything. It doesn't matter anyway."

"It does," I mumble.

"Please change the subject. Just say anything."

I want to talk more about his family, but I respect his wishes and I try my absolute hardest to think of anything else to say. It takes me a few minutes to do so because talking and coming up with conversation is a difficult task for me.

"Why did you invite me to the party tonight?" is the first thing I can think to ask.

I expect him to lie like he usually does when I ask questions like that, but instead he replies with, "Because I have a feeling you understand me."

It takes a minute for me to process the gravity of his words which are still spinning in my head on repeat. I blink a few times to pull myself back to reality where Will is still staring at me with emotionless eyes.

"What do you mean by that?" I question.

"What I mean is, I think we're more alike than we both assume."

My eyebrows pull together. I also believe that, but I want to understand more about what he thinks and why he believes we're alike. "So...what do you mean?"

"Figure it out."

I glance at him blankly, slightly annoyed that he won't give me the answers I'm dying to know. At least when I'm with him I feel something. Feeling annoyed is better than feeling numb...I suppose.

"I don't understand why you'd want to hang out with me. I'm not as fun or outgoing as your friends," I mumble, glancing down at the water in the quarry which glistens in the reflection of the moon.

"You're too hard on yourself."

Am I? Maybe I'm not hard enough.

Will switches his position and decides to lay on his back against the grass which must be cold because of the mist and low temperature which has dampened it. I remain in a seated position.

"River?" he suddenly asks. His voice is sleepy, so I assume that he's tired because of the alcohol and also because of the fact that it's almost midnight.

I've never stayed out for so long. In fact, I can't remember the last time I went out willingly.

"Will," I reply, taking in the view which I've never shown much appreciation towards. It truly is beautiful from this height and distance.

"Have you got earphones with you?"

"Yeah..."

"Can you play some music? Maybe that one you were playing the other day? I liked it."

"Um...yeah...sure."

I tuck my hair behind my ears as I reach into my pocket and pull out the two objects that will allow us to listen to music. My face is red as I plug it in and then pass one earphone to Will. He takes it from my hand, accidentally skimming his skin against mine before he fits it in his ear and then rests his hands back behind his head, closing his eyes while he waits.

"It'll be on shuffle, so I can't promise that it'll be the same music from the other day," I inform him apologetically.

"That's fine," he whispers with his eyes remaining closed.

I nod my head, but he doesn't see it, so I just gulp and press the button which shuffles my playlist. I'm hoping he likes my choice of music.

Anchor, by Novo Amor.

My face grimaces slightly as I wait for his reaction to the song. I'm expecting Will to demand a change, but he continues to rest there peacefully.

"Good song," is all he says.

I blow out a breath of relief before I lay down beside him and rest my hands over my stomach, gazing over the stars in the sky. I try to make patterns out of them.

I find it weird that I care so much about what Will thinks of me. I'm terrified that he'll judge me and find what I do and say weird, but why do I care that much? I think it might be because he's the first person who has ever listened to what I have to say. I've never wanted friends before because it's too difficult and exhausting to keep up with, but it's actually quite nice to talk to someone about these things.

This won't last.