CW: Panic attack, implied panic attack, and referenced homophobia (remember, this is the 80's)

Also, all Ukrainian in this chapter was used via google translate bc I can't speak anything other than English. If anything is wrong, please inform me.

~<•>~

Noel and Mischa wandered around for a while until Noel spotted a photo booth. Excitedly, he grabbed Mischa's hand and dragged him towards it. He put a quarter in the slot, and gave the camera a goofy smile.

Click

Noel turned to Mischa, and pouted when he saw that he had a neutral face. Mischa chuckled as Noel stuck his tongue out.

Click

Without thinking, Mischa shoved Noel's tongue back in his mouth, which ended up with Mischa's whole index finger in Noel's mouth.

Click

Without thinking, Noel bit Mischa's finger, which caused the Ukrainian to yelp as he held his finger, sticking his tongue out at Noel, who was cackling at this point.

Click

Mischa laughed when the photos eventually developed and were dispensed. "You are fucking weird."

"Says the one who stuck his whole finger in my mouth." Noel countered.

Mischa gave him a smug grin. "And I will do it again in a heartbeat."

The two fell into an awkward silence for what felt like forever. Noel desperately wished in that moment that the floor would swallow him whole as his brain went wild with the implications that small innocent comment could hold.

"A-anyway!" Noel said with a fake cough. "Um...let's go find the Ferris wheel."

Mischa frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"Nope! Nothing at all!" Noel said with a smile that was a bit too wide. "Let's go!"

Mischa nodded and followed him silently.

The two walked across the "plaza", trying to find the Ferris wheel. The "plaza" was essentially a large grassy area that was surrounded by kiosks and had red string lights strung from kiosk to kiosk. At this point, the sun had completely set, so the only light that was available was the soft red glow the lights produced. The only sounds coming from the chatter of other guests and the soft tune of some love song from the radio.

Noel felt Mischa grab his hand and pull him closer. Noel looked up at him, confused, praying that the Ukrainian couldn't hear his heart practically beating out of his chest. Mischa looked at him and shrugged. "I do not want to lose you in crowd." He said.

Noel didn't say anything. There wasn't exactly much of a crowd. There were maybe a hundred people there, and they were distributed among the fair. In fact, there were maybe six or seven couples in the plaza, including them, so there wasn't exactly a crowd, let alone a crowd large enough to warrant how close Mischa was holding Noel, but he didn't complain.

They eventually made it to the Ferris wheel, and after paying for a ride, the two got into a passenger car, the bear sitting on the far right, Noel in the middle, and Mischa on the far left. They were silent as the passenger cars moved, occasionally stopping for a minute to allow the passengers to soak in the view as the bottom car emptied and was refilled with new riders. Out of the corner of his eye, Noel noticed that Mischa's knuckles had grown white with how tightly he was holding onto the bar that was keeping them from falling to their deaths. Wordlessly, Noel put his hand on top of Mischa's, which seemed to ease his nerves a bit because his grip loosened a bit.

"Why do you like Ferris wheel so much?" Mischa muttered, his voice quiet and shaky.

Noel shrugged. "It's the most romantic ride, I suppose. And even so, I just like the view. You can see the whole fair and the town from up here. It's quite beautiful once you get past how terrifying it is being up here."

Mischa chuckled a bit. "I never like being high up. The plane to Canada scared me half to death."

Noel frowned. "If I knew you were afraid of heights, I wouldn't have—"

Mischa put his hand up to stop Noel talking. "Nonsense! I made you play shooting range, this is payment."

"Wait, is that why you looked so pale when you saw that roller coaster we walked past!?" Noel exclaimed. "The giant one with the loops?"

Mischa looked away bashfully. "Maybe..."

"Shit, Mischa, I'm so sorry—"

Mischa gave him a small smile. "Stop apologizing. You did not know."

After a few moments, Noel sighed. "Well, since we're sharing secrets, I feel like I should—"

Right at that moment, the car stopped abruptly. The past several times it stopped was much softer, and unfortunately for them, this stop lasted much longer than the others did.

"Please sit tight." The loudspeaker spoke. "We are currently having a bit of a technical issue."

Noel groaned in annoyance. It was freezing out and his leather jacket didn't provide much warmth considering that it was below freezing. Unfortunately for Mischa, their car was at the very top, so he was having a bit of a panic attack.

"Distract me." Mischa said hurriedly. "Please, I am begging you, Noel."

"Uh..." Noel paused. "I-I don't know what you want me to do!"

"Just—anything that will keep my mind off of this." Mischa said, closing his eyes tightly. "Просто почни на мене балакати чи що!" He exclaimed in a panic.

"U-um..." Without thinking, Noel grabbed Mischa's face and kissed him. Not long, maybe for a few seconds, but each second felt like hours. Days. Years, even.

The two stared at each other as soon as they separated. Mischa looked as shocked at Noel as he felt at himself.

Why did I kiss him!? Oh god, he hates me. Despises me, even. Oh god, I'm going to have to throw myself off this Ferris wheel and hope that it kills me—

"Noel!" Mischa called, and it was at that moment that Noel realized that he was hyperventilating. "Noel, calm down!"

"I'm sorry!" Noel exclaimed. "I'm so fucking sorry! I wasn't thinking! You were panicking and it was making me panic and I just—"

"Noel." Mischa said, grabbing Noel's face. "It's okay."

"B-but it's not!" Noel exclaimed. He didn't even notice that the Ferris wheel started moving again. "I-I kissed you! You should hate me!"

Mischa furrowed his brows. "Why would I hate you?"

Noel paused. "Wha-what?"

Mischa gave Noel a confused smile. "Noel, I'm not homophobe, if that is what you are scared of." His grin grew softer, fonder, even. "Ноель, я був би найбільшим лицеміром у світі, якби був гомофобом."

"You...you're not...?" Noel said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But, e-everyone who's known that I'm gay usually tells me to go off myself and that I'm a f—"

"—hey..." Mischa frowned. "Whoever said that needs to fuck off."

Noel laughed a watery laugh. "Yeah, well."

At that point, their car had gotten to the bottom. Mischa got out first, and then he helped Noel (and the teddy bear) out. Once they were both out of the car, the two started walking in silence towards the exit. Mischa kept hearing Noel sniffing, but he didn't say anything.

The car ride was also silent for the most part. Mischa offered to drive Noel home, and Noel only accepted once he told Mischa that he had to stay the night at Noel's house, since the only other option was for Mischa to walk to his house. So Noel was currently sitting in the passenger seat cuddling his teddy bear and humming along to the song on the radio.

"Hey, uh, things won't be weird between us, right?" Noel asked as they neared his house.

"Why would they be weird?" Mischa asked, sparing Noel a quick glance. "You were only trying to help."

"Well...I-I guess." Noel muttered into the bear.

"Hey, uh, what were you going to say?" Mischa asked a few minutes later. "When we were stuck on ferris wheel?"

Noel blushed. "O-oh, n-nothing. Nothing at all..."

He couldn't tell Mischa about how he felt. Not now, not ever. Even if Mischa had a sneaking suspicion about his feelings from the kiss, he will try to shoot it down. Nobody can ever find out.

And he'll tell him about Talia at a later date. Like, maybe, right before Mischa goes all the way to Ukraine for a girl he's fallen in love with that doesn't exist. Sure, Mischa will be pissed as hell—who wouldn't be?---but he can't bring himself to ruin their friendship now. Not when it's so new. Not when Noel is just now learning who Mischa actually is, rather than who he perceived the Ukrainian to be. Not when Noel is starting to slowly tear the walls that he's built down.

He will just hope and pray that Mischa doesn't notice how similar Noel and Talia are, in more ways than one.

~<•>~

1461 words

I'm so sorry I kinda dropped off the face of the earth. This is cross posted on ao3, so the chapter was ready for a long while, I just didn't do it

Sorry