Once again it is so cold and dark around me. I'm in the woods again. There are only trees around me and this path that I get to see every time. The darkness and cold is unbearable.

It sounds like someone is calling me. I'm getting goosebumps. This voice scares me. Nevertheless, I follow the voice.

I feel other people but can't recognize them. The voices are getting louder and louder, the closer I get, its getting colder and colder. I am very scared, but I still follow the voices and get closer to them.

Tired and bathed in sweat, I woke up from this dream again. I have had these dreams since I was 6 years old. Until I was 9 years old, I lived with my grandparents. Well guarded and lovingly, they raised me.

When I finished in the 4th grade, my parents brought me back to live with them and my two sisters, who i didnt meet until then. Tina, as I learned the name, was just 5 years old and the little baby Sara was 4 months old.

Unfortunately, why my parents had avoided me for 9 years of my life or did not want me with them was never explained or justified to me.

Sara was a real gold treasure who simply overcomes my worries with her smile. Tina is rather shy, but is starting to like having a big sister. It was unusual for me, as my grandparents had never told me anything about my sisters.

My parents even forgot my birthdays, but my grandparents had always thought about it. They always sent packages for my birthday. My grandparents always gave me incredibly birthdays.

I have always loved Christmas very much. The whole family was always invited, but on 24.12 was always our day. We ate sausages with potato salad and on the 1st and 2nd Christmas day the whole family would always some. (Excexcept my parents and siblings) we always ate well, sang and we children recited poems and were then allowed to unpack our gifts. I miss them very much, because the first Christmas with my "new" family was approaching.

I had just decorated the tree with my mother, who was still so cold and strange to me. I saw that my mother put on my sisters' shoes and her jackets. "Where are you going? May I come with you?" I asked. "No, you're welcome to stay here! You will tidy up the rooms of your sisters and the bathroom!" She said coldly and left.