The List of Things my Parents don't understand about me:

- My "attitude". I'm not trying to have one. I'm just trying to say my mind.

- My " Yelling Problem". I yell because they don't let me have a chance to speak. When I do, They say I have attitude. And Just now, I was spanked for it. . . #AllTimeLowSoulHere.

- My "Sensitivity Problem". If you even yell at me, I can cry if you mean a thing or two to me. And when I start, I hide and cry my eyes out.

- How my eyes seem to "Brighten" when I'm crying. This is because my body is so used to crying on the inside and smiling brightly on the outside.

- How I'm "Stupid", and "Have No Discipline". I'm like this because this is how I am. This is who I want to be, but I have to hide it because they would never understand. They know nothing at all.

- How I am always exhausted. I'm always tired because I stay up all night trying to tell myself the next day it would be better. That I can change myself to be the perfect girl they want me to be. Thin, Tall, Smart, Beautiful. . . Straight. Not this Fat, Tall, Ugly, Lesbian mess that I am. . .

- How I always smile. I fake it. Every one that I send to them. Fake. Every one.

- How I Hide from them. I hide because that's how I am. Fight or flight. . . Or hide. Only to be taken and toyed with emotions.And now I am scared of them. . . Of people. All but the few I call family and friends. And you bet they aren't family.

- How I still "Haven't woken up To see Real Life". (Warning: Rage activated!) OK!!! SERIOUSLY?! I HAVE SEEN THE PROCESS OF DEATH IN FRONT OF MY EYES!! I HAVE BEEN TOYED WITH, BEATEN MENTALLY, BULLIED, PRACTICALLY ABUSED MENTALLY EVERY DAY!!! EVERY DAY MY SELF ESTEEM LOWERS, AND MY PARENTS DONT HELP! THEY JUST MAKE IT WORSE!! BE SKINNY THEY SAY, BE BEAUTIFUL THEY SAY, BE SMART THEY SAY. WELL YOU CAN NEVER SEE ME FOR ME!!! THEY NEVER HAVE, NEVER WILL!!!

- How I have "No Social Life". I do. I do have one. I never tell them because they don't need to know. There are so many things that they don't know. They have no clue who I talk to, why I talk to them, or how I talk to them.

- How I am so Pale. I never leave the house. I hate the sun, it hates me. When I do, it's absolutely needed to live. I don't leave because I am scared to. Scared of people to get close and leave. And I can never build that wall, to keep me safe. A lone soldier surrounded by the opponent.

- Why I "am Not Obedient". Ok, that would make me a slave, if I followed every command every second of the day. Even Maids and butlers turn down commands every once in a while--Why can't I?

- How I am "Innocent" and "still a young girl". OK. SERIOUSLY WHERE DO I START. I HAVE SEEN DEATH THREE PLUS TIMES IN MY BEGINNING YEARS OF LIFE. I KNOW HOW THINGS WORK AND I AM NOT SOME PUPPET THAT YOU USE WHEN YOU ARE LAZY.

- How I am "Lazy". Who can't get up for a soda? Mom. Who can't walk up a set of stairs on his day off for a beer? Dad. So. . . Who's the Lazy one again?

- Why I like to be in the dark. I like the dark because it's sleek, elegant, beautiful. No flaws. That's also why I like Dark Pokemon types. Sleek, Elegant, beautiful. . . Graceful. But this also leads to one Dark Type Pokemon from the rest. Umbreon. One whom I idolize and adore. For those who don't know, the ring patterns of a Ubreon's coat glows brightly in the dark, to shine a path for it and it's trainer/Other Pokemon/Family to see a new day. I adore this Pokemon because It shines brightly, and It has beauty and elegance, sleek and pure.

- Why I'm always with my phone. It's precious to me. It's where I first met my love, and where we still talk. And I don't want it--or my connection to my love--to disappear because They are upset or disappointed with me.

- Why I talk to myself. Simple. I have nobody to talk to in my--so called--home.

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That's the shortest list I can make right now. . . I might extend it later in other parts. . . I don't know. See you then.

And remember:

The People with the Brightest Smiles.

Have the most Painful Cries.