There is such a scarcity in TM4 stories. I mean it makes sense, there are so few trans men in the world. It's a bit of a niche category. I'm a niche thing. So, I figured why don't I write my own scripts?

I don't want to pretend to have a cock to rail some poor submissive soul every single time. I could, but I would get bored with it. I prefer to picture myself with a big strap, stripping down my clothing and binder and just whipping out a lubed up silicone seven incher.

God that is so hot. That's what feels right and good.

So yeah I'm writing my own script. It's much easier than writing a whole novel. You know, maybe this is what will truly fulfill me. Scripts are short form enough that I can write from beginning to end without getting off on all these tangents, I can focus enough from start to finish on something that's say, three thousand words long.

I do miss writing very much. A part of my subconscious is screaming out to create. It's just that it was fun until I kept losing the plot literally because books are so long and it got to a point where it's just so fucking loooooong it's not fun anymore, so I never truly got the satisfaction of completing a story that I craved.

It was just an endless cocktease where I would start something and get too tired and unfocused to finish.

Also, whenever I used to write stories, I would get sad because I would narrate what the characters sound like in my head and I wished that people could hear how I heard the line delivery, which is just not possible in that format unless I want to sit down and narrate an entire story too.

It's too much. I want to narrate one story I wrote once with a friend but that's all I can see myself doing for the foreseeable future that would require such ambition.

My little story idea involves a substitute college professor, me, replacing the normal class professor after an "accident" also caused by me. All to get closer to listener, a senior in college, who I have fallen madly into obsession with.

It's a yandere story. I picture the love interest being gender neutral, so it'd be TM4A but the script could be tweaked to whatever someone else wants, as I intend to share it for others as well. Yeah then when the object of affection in question asks for my help because they're falling behind in class I drug their water when they're not looking and they end up in bound my basement.

Then I'll tell them to open their fucking mouth to gag them with my briefs and then fuck them until it hurts and they cry and I own them totally because this is their fault for driving me crazy.

I can picture exactly what I will say to them and how to say it.

I'll call it Teacher's Pet or something. Maybe it'll involve a collar.

My bf isn't talking to me. I don't know why. I think he is busy, probably. I hope he isn't too depressed about what's going on lately, you know. He was definitely not happy about things. I gesture vaguely to American things because frankly, it makes me uncomfortable.

I already know that most Americans are totally checked out and only care about feeding their own families, which is understandable, I suppose. It's not surprising, anyway. The people who are actually paying attention are definitely not normies.

My bf was really worried, is really worried? About me. He said I would be safer up there with him. As much as I want to be up there, particularly in his bed, fuck.

What was I saying? I don't even know where I was going with that.

Oh yeah I guess I was just going to point out that because I'm hikikomori, I don't go outside and interact with other people, so I'm in relatively low danger even if hypothetically more people where I live were assholes.

I don't know my neighbors and I don't want to assume or know. Sure there are some people who actually would want to hurt me.

In reality, most people don't care about much beyond their own myopic lives.

I mean, their own survival. Which sounds less cynical? I don't care.

He doesn't know much about my life beyond the screen. If he stopped talking to me at this point I would be a little bummed but I think I would be okay. I don't need anyone to like me. He did really motivate me to get my ass in gear though.

I'm always going to be thankful for that. He didn't do anything but make me fall in love with him and have it take up every corner of my brain how I will get to him, and that bettered my life by an unfathomable amount, but, still.

I didn't understand most people when they talked about love before. Or understand, really feel not just on an intellectual level, love songs. I do now. It's basically like you're a crack addict.

We only haven't talked for a day and I'm already thinking what if he doesn't want me anymore. Oh my God I can't go a single fucking day without his love. I'm so pathetic.

I can't even fool myself. I hope he's alright. Oh hey, he messaged me! Oh thank fuck.

Alright he's okay. Everything is okay.

TADC voice actors are live streaming a fast food simulator as a fundraiser for the wildfire relief in California.

I donated five bucks. I can hear the cynical voice in my ear saying that I'm a fool for giving to people, and that it's all just a scam, and that money is going into the pockets of horrible awful people who will bust a fat load into that stack.

The kind-hearted soul within sometimes breaches containment. Sometimes my hardened walls go down for just a minute enough to trust.

What is wrong with me? I just remembered my mom glaring at me for donating pocket change once to a hospital treating children with brain cancer.

Dude what the fuck? I know we were struggling but were those measly little pennies going to make up the difference?

I know I'm partially the reason for their suffering. Although they're both very stupid people so maybe they deserve me as a punishment.

They could only dream.

I'm really super polite to both of them because frankly, it's still a mystery why they tolerate me being here.

I would never let them know what I think, at least not at the moment that it wouldn't benefit me.

Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it's my charming personality. Just kidding. I'm probably lucky they take pity on me as their child.

So yeah, I'm nice enough.

That stair vac I was going to get her? Well, I still want it. It's cool, and it'll show her what a dumb fucking bitch she is lugging that big vacuum up and down the stairs all these years instead of putting down forty bucks, man that's fucking pocket change even for a NEET like myself.

She is so goddamn dumb and pathetic. No wonder she soaks up propaganda like a sponge.

Maybe if someone gets her nice things she'll stop being such a miserable bitch. I'll get it as a gift to her and be super nice, let her open it.

Anyway, I guess it's self serving of me too. If people see you doing a good thing, you raise others perception of you and it's good that people like you.

I just feel something in my soul sometimes to help someone out. Like this one erotica author I've followed for many years.

His writing is smoking hot. I have came my brains out reading his work more than any other writer's combined.

So I gave him five bucks. I told him what his writing does to me. Just, fuck yeah. I want more of that hot person and his work.

I guess it's okay if it's serving yourself in some way and it isn't completely altruistic to be meaningful.

Could mean more to that person actually. Cash on top of an ego boost. That's win-win.

Collectively everyone in the live chat is trying to get the donations up to $6,969. Nice.